We Find Out If Taking Listener Questions is A Bad Idea

We've let Dan Belson ask us questions. We've probably made a huge mistake with this one.

Music
 "Wilson Theme",  "EEAAOO", "Bad Timing", "A Little Swing", "Together", and "The Wilson Suite"  by Josh Wilson.

  Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
Find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/wilsonspodcast
on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwitthewilsons
on twitter at https://twitter.com/familiarwilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

The following program uses naughty language and discusses adult situations. Shall we go? Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

This week on Super Familiar with the Wilsons...

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Amanda, we're going to reach into the listener mailbag.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Okay, let's go. No more rhymes now, I mean it.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Anybody want a peanut? Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Josh and I like to draw pretty pictures.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

I'm Amanda, and I like to hot glue things. This is the thing we're doing now? We're just going to start talking about ourselves?

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Well, we're very happy to be here. We're very happy to be talking to you because we didn't know really whether we'd be recording today. We very, very luckily dodged Hurricane Ian, or I should say Hurricane Ian dodged us. Now, there were a lot of people who weren't at all as lucky, and our hearts go out to them, but we are happy to be here talking to you today.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

We are. It was a scary few days for us, but it's going to be a much more dark time for a lot of people south of us. So we're thinking of those in our state and also our fellow podcasters and family who are in the Charleston area. They got hit with it as well. So thinking of everyone and continue to let us know how we can support you.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Yes. So we are going to get to our listener letters, but first... The Song Quiz. I've got a new song quiz this morning. Now, we didn't have this morning or whenever you're listening to it. It's not even morning when we're recording this. I don't know what's happening. We do have a new song quiz. We didn't do one last week, so this is starting fresh. Artist and song, I give you a clever clue, a genius clue, some would say, and then you try to sort it out, and bada-bing, bada-boom. Some people find it easier to try to figure out the artist first, and then the song from that. So, that's the order in which I will give it you. The artist is 24 Hours to Celebrate Mohammad Reza Pavlavi, the former leader of Iran.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

That's the artist.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

The song is This Person Who Answers the Phone Ain't Rough, Is She?

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Okay. Good luck, friends.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

So once again, the artist is 24 Hours to Celebrate Mohammad Reza Pavlavi, the former leader of Iran. And the song is This Person Who Answers the Phone Ain't Rough, Is She?

SPEAKER_00 2:59

All right, well, I have zero clue. So

SPEAKER_02 3:02

how might people give us the answer to these things?

SPEAKER_00 3:05

They might hit us up on our DMs. That's right. I'm telling you it's okay to slide up into these DMs because we don't want you to tweet it out publicly. We want people to have to work for it. Listen, I have to work for it around here. These song quizzes do not come easily to me. Some of you, like our friend Ashley, just pick up the phone and give us a voice message of her working through it, and she's brilliant at it, and I can't do it. So... If you have our personal cell phone numbers, like Ashley, go ahead and send us a voice message. Or you can DM us at FamiliarWilsons. That is the tweeting business.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

And there's also like some emailing happening, which is where I assume these listener letters come from.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

FamiliarWilsons at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

There's also Facebook, but who, I mean... Who does Facebook?

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Zuck does. I mean, if you're doing Instagram, you're basically doing Facebook because Facebook owns it and they get all your data anyway. So if you're being all precious about, I don't get on Facebook so they can't access my data, Instagram has it, friends. Sorry about you.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

You can also hit us up on Instagram, DMs. That's cool too. That's super familiar with Wilson's on Instagram.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

Bam.

UNKNOWN 4:15

Bam.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Letters, we get letters, we read them, and then we answer them if it's appropriate.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Most likely isn't.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

So yes, we're going to debut a new segment, The Listener Mailbag. So I've got some questions here. They're really listener questions.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

This is like an ask me anything, basically, right? So it's just the non-live version of an AMA.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

What?

SPEAKER_00 4:57

You know, ask me anything. The influencers and the content creators, they live stream and say, ask me anything. And then the people just ask anything live. But now we're just going to do- Is that what AMA stands for? Well, it also stands for like American Movie Academy or something. I don't know. But yeah, AMA- On the socialist means ask me anything.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Shit, I never knew that.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

See, I taught you something. Damn.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Okay. So AMA, kids. AMAW. Ask

SPEAKER_00 5:26

me anything.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Ask Wilson's anything.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

AWA.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Not AMAW. So now it's time for our AWA segment. Ask Wilson's anything.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

I like it. I like this new segment.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

So we have some questions here. Now, to kick this off, I will admit that all of these questions are from the same person. These are all from Dan Belson.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

I don't like this segment anymore.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Okay, so first, and this is the question. I have such reservations about this. This is the question. How to survive a hurricane?

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Oh, well, okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Ideally, don't be in its path. But that's really difficult, as we just explained. We were in its path for a day or so, and then all of a sudden we weren't in its path. I think I said this last podcast that described... waiting for a hurricane is like being stalked by a turtle. And I might add, it's like being stalked by an indecisive turtle.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Yeah, and I laughed a lot because it's so true. I mean, I'm a native Floridian. I have hurricanes in my blood. And so I identify with that. But also, yes, it changes. And the thing is, it changes so many times, but you can't not prepare. And so we were, I mean, work shut down for three days, schools shut down, shelters opened. We were expecting to get hit. we packed up. We went to stay at Josh's work because he was, he was going to be on call. And we got there and like nary a little thing. No, Barry, we got tropical storm winds, right? Yeah. So, I mean, I'll take it. And it's been devastating. It's changing the West coastline of Southwest Florida forever. It's a very devastating storm. Probably one of the most deadly in this, or the most deadly in the state's history. I

SPEAKER_02 7:13

don't know about deadly. Um, definitely most costly. Is it also the most deadly?

SPEAKER_00 7:18

I mean, we're at high 20s in the count right now. For fatalities? For fatalities, but we don't know an actual count for Andrew, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Right. So ideally, don't be there. There's several problems with that theory. Number one is don't really know where it's going to go. And by the time you do have a good grasp on where it's going to go, the interstates are plugged up. So better to be in your home than on 75 or on 95 in a car, you know, getting blown away.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Less of a chance. But the other thing I've been hearing a lot of people saying, why didn't people evacuate? And I mean, it's a matter of equity. It costs, I saw a stat, it costs on average $1,200 for a person to evacuate for a storm. What? If they don't, I mean, as far as like gas and having to pay for a hotel. I mean, that's the average if you don't have family to go stay with. And so it's not always feasible for people to evacuate.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

Yeah, no, it's true. Okay, great. Well, that was fun. Thank you, Dan.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

I was just saying that because we need to have a little bit more empathy and patience for the people who were impacted instead of saying, why didn't you evacuate?

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Yeah, no, no, no. I absolutely agree. Okay, equally serious question. Next one. Big penis or small penis? Discuss.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

To own, to have applied upon you? What does this question?

SPEAKER_02 8:53

It just says discuss.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

I mean, I myself, I'd like to think that what I have is an extra medium. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Extra medium. It's like extra small, small, medium, extra medium, large, extra large. Medium is the only thing that doesn't have an extra.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Mine does.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Okay. I'm perfectly satisfied. Move along.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Okay. Next question. What's the best color? I would say the color of money.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

No. There's

SPEAKER_02 9:26

also the color of night. The color purple. Ooh, living color.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

What's the best color? The best color is the color of twilight. And I don't mean the vampire movies. It's not quite night, but the day is ended. I love that time of day so much. Is that the

SPEAKER_02 9:46

golden hour?

SPEAKER_00 9:46

No, the golden hour is still day. I mean, the sun is still up. I

SPEAKER_02 9:49

like the golden hour.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

The golden hour is a beautiful

SPEAKER_02 9:51

color. I like the golden girls.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Okay, cool. I think Twilight, whatever color that is, is the best color.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

I think whatever it is, it's sparkly.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

It is sparkly. That's true. Back to the vampires, yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

I like red. I like maroon. That's my favorite

SPEAKER_00 10:05

color. I like cranberry red.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

It's a great color. What's your favorite color, Dan?

SPEAKER_02 10:10

That's not how this works. Next, if hell does exist, how hot does it really get? I

SPEAKER_00 10:16

don't think hell is hot. I think hell is very, very lonely. Okay. I don't think it's a temperature. I

SPEAKER_02 10:22

don't know how lonely it'll be. I think there's going to be a lot of people there.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

No, but I mean, to me, hell would be being separated from the people that you love and just being on your own. And that's what that is. It's dark and it's cold.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

I think that hell is going to be really cold. I don't mind hot weather. I like cool weather. Cold, cold weather, like chilling to your bone cold, do not like.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

So did you just say that hell was like northern Minnesota?

SPEAKER_02 10:52

I don't know. I've never been there. Hell is really cold. Okay. It's also filled with Buffalo Bills fans.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Maybe Buffalo. Upstate New York. Buffalo is really

SPEAKER_02 11:02

cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's hell. Okay. Next question. What's the most pointless insect?

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Dan's brain is an interesting place to be.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

It's hell, some would say.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

That's right. It's not Buffalo. Pointless insect. Well, I mean, they all have meaning to themselves.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

No, no, no. This is not an existential question. I would say mosquitoes are the most pointless insect. They do nothing constructive. They are not the primary food source for any animal. They spread disease, malaria, all these things. They are uncomfortable. They hurt you when they bite you and they suck your blood. My answer is mosquitoes, the little mozzies. Let's get rid of them. Hell is filled with mosquitoes.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

But also cockroaches. Is there a point to them?

SPEAKER_02 11:56

I think that they are scavengers. They like break things down. You need them to... to get rid of garbage and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

And they don't carry diseases, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:05

I think they do. They're gross. They're disgusting. They are gross. But I think that they have more of a point than mosquitoes do. Mosquitoes are just miserable things. Mosquitoes are the embodiment of misery they are.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Do you think they're miserable themselves? Or do you think they're very happy with their little lives flying around and stinging things?

SPEAKER_02 12:20

Well, would you be happy if your life was predicated on making other people uncomfortable? Everyone hates you. And you gotta suck blood. You don't know where that blood's been. That's gross. Like you're compelled to suck blood. They're not even as good as vampires because at least vampires are ageless. They don't die.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

What's the lifespan of a mosquito?

SPEAKER_02 12:40

It depends.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

On whether or not you

SPEAKER_02 12:43

smack it? On how fast it can fly. On how deft it, how quick it is. Whether it's got moves. Whether it's got handles.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

Handles?

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Yeah, it's a basketball term.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Okay. Okay. It's a very different picture in my brain, but okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

All right, next question. I'll let you take this one. Anal sex, the devil's business?

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Well, I mean, some Christians would say yes, that sodomy is a sin, which therefore makes it the devil's business.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Wait, sodomy?

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Next. Yeah. Sodomy is anal sex, basically. Is it? I mean, I don't think that it's gender specific.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

All right, I'm... I am.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Oh God, I hope you're Googling that.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

Any of various forms of sexual acts regarded as perverted, especially anal intercourse or all the things. A natural sexual relation. Is there, I mean, consenting adults and all that? I

SPEAKER_00 13:40

am not giving you my personal opinion on this. He asked if it was the devil's business and my answer is that it is the view of modern Christianity that yes, that is a sin.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Or what do you think?

SPEAKER_00 13:52

I'm not giving you my answer on this.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Why?

SPEAKER_00 13:55

Because it's not a conversation I'm willing to have.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Can we talk about it later?

SPEAKER_00 14:00

We can talk about it later.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Next question is, how many squirrels would it take to beat you in a fight?

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Squirrels are ferocious, dude. Are they? Yeah. They're like rabbit and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

I don't know anything about squirrels except they're these cute little things with the bushy tails. I think that it depends on how determined they are. Because for me, I have a real hesitancy with the thought of killing anything. Like I'm a pacifist. So now if it were my life, maybe. But the problem with that is because I'm not that alpha about it all. I wouldn't take them seriously, and if they were really determined, they could take me before I realized what trouble I was in. Do

SPEAKER_00 14:39

you have an issue with killing the mosquitoes?

SPEAKER_02 14:43

No, no, no, no, no, all day I'll kill. I wonder how many mosquitoes it would take to finish me off.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Right, probably many. You'd be like Gulliver's Travels, like they pinned you down in the mosquitoes game. So I worked at a summer camp in North Carolina, and my last summer there, one of the older campers

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Was taken away by mosquitoes?

SPEAKER_00 15:02

No, squirrels. A singular squirrel was walking between two trees and a squirrel tried to leap from one limb to the other but landed on his face instead and just clung on. Oh my God. Imagine your face and then the squirrel's belly is to your nose and then his front claws are digging into your forehead and his bottom claws are digging into your chin. So you know,

SPEAKER_02 15:26

you say that his belly, maybe he just wanted a nice tickle.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Well.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

It's like a nuzzle into his.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

This poor camper's face was clawed up.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

So, and imagine, like you're not expecting it.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

No one expects a squirrel to the face.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

No, you're not prepared for it.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

So in that answer one, okay. Who would your kids miss most if you both died in a horrific accident? And I do mean horrific.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Me.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Yeah, it's true. Without a doubt, they would miss you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

They'd miss you. They'd just miss me more. I mean,

SPEAKER_02 15:58

they would notice that I

SPEAKER_00 15:59

was

SPEAKER_02 15:59

gone. What do you think? They would be like, oh, that guy who took most of mommy's attention is gone now. Yay.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

No, that's awful. Don't say that.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

Okay, next. Is tennis in the top three most boring sports?

SPEAKER_00 16:15

You like tennis.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

I love tennis. Listen, I grew up and was watching tennis when the adults around me were watching tennis in the 80s. And that was, to me, like the golden age. Of course, everyone says that. Actually, most people would say the golden age is like Pete Sampras and that group, Andre Agassi. But I grew up watching like Yvonne Lendl and Jimmy Connors and McEnroe. So I love tennis. Now... Boring sports. You want to talk boring sports? Golf. Golf. Boring sports. Golf is such a weird sport anyway. Golf, I feel like, was invented by someone who wanted a non-confrontational version of hockey.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Yeah. It's a good point.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

That they could smoke and drink beer while stewing.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Yes. So my dad was a golf pro and taught golf lessons.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

Oh, right. He was a pro. I'm sorry. I did not mean to insult

SPEAKER_00 17:08

your family business. No, I mean, it's what he did like when he retired. He was... Again,

SPEAKER_02 17:14

golf is what people can do when they're retired. Should not be a professional sport.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

No. And it used to drive him nuts because he would try so hard and I was zero bit interested. And he took my mom to play one time and legend says... that she beat him and he never took her again. I'm not entirely sure. That's a

SPEAKER_02 17:31

sitcom right there.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

My dad and my two older brothers played golf very regularly. When my dad retired, he worked at a driving range. He worked on a golf course. He was happy to drive the little machine around and pick all the balls up. Like it was just, he taught lessons. It was his life, but he would watch it and immediately fell asleep because it is horribly boring. And then I'd be stuck with golf on TV. And if you changed it, he'd wake up. But yeah, now mini golf, I can get behind.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

Yeah, that's okay because it's short. Cricket. It seems like such a Calvin Ball type of sport. Are you familiar with that? No, I don't know what that means. Calvin Ball basically means you're making up the rules as you go along type of sport. To me, it seems like cricket was invented by someone who, everything they ever knew about sport in general was from a Looney Tunes cartoon. And then as they became an adult, someone's like, hey, Why don't you invent a sport? And they're like, okay. Did you know that the average match happens over a span of five days?

SPEAKER_00 18:32

What?

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Six to eight hours a day.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

Are you joking?

SPEAKER_02 18:35

No, I've had employment situations that were shorter than that.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

Wow. I mean, I get really tired when like baseball goes into extra innings.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

So that's not even extra. That's like that's like designated time. The longest one was nine days was scheduled to be 10 days, but they had to cut it short because of like someone had to catch a plane or a train or something.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Right. Yes. No life moved on. And so must they.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

Yes. No. So cricket. Absolutely not. And then bowling. Bowling is really boring because it's boring to watch because you get to the point of the professional bowlers, it's basically all strikes and spares. Big deal.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

I also don't like watching billiards. I understand that people do, but it's not a thing I

SPEAKER_02 19:18

like. Oh, now I do like watching the billiard trick shots. The trick shots are fun. Those are cool.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

But you might as well just watch Jude Perfect.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Yeah, that's right. Next question. Is Attenborough overrated? No. Okay, next question. Should everyone who wears Jordans be questioned in the street about his career stats?

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Jordan's career stats are their own personal career

SPEAKER_02 19:41

stats. Oh, that, I didn't even go there, no.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

I think he means like you're wearing Jordan's so you need to know about Michael Jordan.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Oh no, I think it's a commentary on people who wear athletic gear and especially, you know what I can't stand is middle-aged dudes who wear jerseys. Sports jerseys. Now, in my 20s and 30s, I had a Dolphins.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

You have a jersey hanging up in the closet. I have a

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Panthers jersey, and I have it for Nostalgia's sake, but I never wear it.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Also, it's very warm. But it's a weird thing, grown-ass men wearing jerseys.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

It really is. No one is

SPEAKER_02 20:19

going to... And especially the personalized... I'm thinking if I get Wilson on the back of a Dolphins jersey, I'm walking in the mall, and someone's going to be like, wait, is that... Is that the wide receiver from the

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Dolphins? Clearly no.

SPEAKER_02 20:31

The whole thing is quite strange. It's like adult cosplay for people who make fun of cosplayers. And imagine their head, you know, at center, a 5'5 accountant from bookkeeping, Arnold Clawhopper. This is ridiculous. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

So I do think that Dan's question, and Dan let us know, but I do think his question was that if you're wearing Jordans, you should have to give Michael Jordan's career stats. But it's funnier to me to have them give their own career stats.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

Yeah. Next question. What's the best meal, breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

SPEAKER_00 21:05

I mean, I put more thought into dinner. Although I really should, it should be that, I mean, and it's the thing that people say, like eat breakfast like a king and dinner like a popper, but you really should Wait, wait,

SPEAKER_02 21:17

wait, I'm sorry,

SPEAKER_00 21:18

what? You've not heard this? No. So it's the thought of your heaviest meal should be earlier in the day, so you're spending more of the calories and energy throughout the day instead of, you know. I don't

SPEAKER_02 21:28

think that's how nutrition actually should work. I'm just telling you. I think it's a bunch of small meals through the day is what's appropriate. Right. Because if you eat a lot of food, a lot of calories at one sitting, you'll only use so much of it and then the rest of it gets stored into fat. Right. This has been Health Moment with Josh Wilson. Josh and Amanda Wilson are not, nor do they claim to be, medical professionals. They are just two people with healthy imaginations, a good internet connection, and some time to kill.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

I've never been a breakfast eater. Never ever in my life have I been a breakfast eater. And you wake up ready to eat. The five-year-old wakes up ready to eat. I've never been a breakfast eater. To the point where when I was in... school, my mom would make me drink carnation instant breakfast, which just basically tastes like mineral mixed in milk with a little bit of chocolate. It's gross because I don't like breakfast. And then lunch, mostly I spend that at work. And it's amazing how you'll eat things at work that you won't eat at home. So when I'm at the grocery store and I buy the turkey and the lettuce for the lettuce wraps, and I think, oh, I'm going to eat this. And then at home, I don't want to eat it. But if I take it to work, I'll eat it because that's what's there. And dinner, I think, is probably my favorite meal, but I just don't get inspired or interested by anything we make during the week.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Well, that's bullshit because I make steaks. And those are yummy, but when's the last

SPEAKER_00 22:53

time you made

SPEAKER_02 22:53

that for me? It was a couple weeks ago. Okay. Right? Okay. So your point is what? I want one. Okay. I'll give you a big, fat piece of meat real soon.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Okay. Extra medium size.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

I think that breakfast has the best food. I do. I love all sorts of omelets. You really don't have eggs at any other meal except breakfast. I love bacon. Again, you don't really have bacon at any other meal but breakfast. Hash browns, so good with the cheese, grits, all of the things. The breakfast absolutely has the best food. So I would say breakfast.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

I like breakfast. I like breakfast for dinner, but also American breakfast tends, everything you've described though is more like-

SPEAKER_02 23:35

Savory, savory. It's savory. I don't eat the sweet

SPEAKER_00 23:37

stuff anymore. American breakfast tends to lean very sweet.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

I used to love, like my favorite breakfast, even into adulthood was I'd wander into a McDonald's get the McDonald's big breakfast with their hotcakes and their sausage and their hash brown patty that was like probably-

SPEAKER_00 23:56

McDonald's has good hash browns.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

10% potato. But you put it all together in a stack and then you cut through and you put lots of the McDonald's syrup on it. And then you make sure that one bite has all of the things. And oh my goodness, so good. So good. So breakfast.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

Okay, but what about the full English breakfast that has like the baked beans on the toast?

SPEAKER_02 24:18

Breakfast. Baked beans don't belong in breakfast. Done. Period.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Question answered. Ever seen a grown man naked?

SPEAKER_00 24:26

Yes. Frequently.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

Who's the first grown man you saw naked?

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Oh, God. Unfortunately, my dad.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Was he golfing?

SPEAKER_00 24:36

He wasn't golfing naked. Was

SPEAKER_02 24:37

it a mistake thing?

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Like you wanted it to the bathroom? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The house that we lived in when I was like three and four had like a carport. So not a garage, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. An open carport. An open carport. Where is this story going? And

SPEAKER_02 24:55

then for

SPEAKER_00 24:55

some weird reason, there was a shower in the carport.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

Of course there was.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Because Florida. There was also a shower in the house. A

SPEAKER_02 25:04

shower in the carport? Is that just in case the radiation got you and you've got this decontamination booth with a shower in it?

SPEAKER_00 25:12

For whatever reason, I was sitting on... The dryer just out in the carport. My dad was in the shower. I

SPEAKER_02 25:19

know why you were

SPEAKER_00 25:19

sitting on the dryer. No, no, no, not the washer. I didn't say the washer. The washer is the one that vibrates. I was like four. So bring it all right back in. That's disgusting. Get a hold of yourself. I was waiting for my dad to get out of the shower, but he didn't know I was there. So instead of grabbing a towel and walking out, he just walked out naked and I was sitting on the thing. I couldn't visualize it anymore, but that is the first man that I saw naked. It was upsetting. I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Do they still do the communal shower thing in middle school and high school? Or is that pretty much not

SPEAKER_00 25:51

a thing that they do anymore? I don't think that's a thing anymore. Was that your first man you saw naked? I

SPEAKER_02 25:54

don't know if it was my first, but it's what I remember the most. And it's very disturbing because... In middle school gym class, you had on display the full spectrum of people going through puberty.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

It was like hair, no hair. So you

SPEAKER_02 26:07

had little boys, and then you basically had 40-year-old men. Very strange... traumatizing experience.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

No, and I didn't. I had PE in high school and I had it first period, but I did not shower. I was just like, I'm going to put on some extra janitor and move about my day because this is not a thing I'm going to do at this school.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

Yes. Next question. Sweet potato fries. Is the boom over?

SPEAKER_00 26:34

The boom was over before it started. Here's the problem with sweet potato fries. I never liked them. You cannot... get them crispy enough. If you could get them crispy enough, then yes, that would be great because with a honey mustard or some sort of dipping sauce would be lovely, but you can't. They get soggy. The end.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

I never understood the attraction to sweet potatoes in general, because I know that some people love them. But to me, it's the equivalent of people saying that they love snow, they love cold weather, but how they love cold weather is from inside the ski lodge. Sweet potatoes.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

What are you inside of when you love sweet potatoes?

SPEAKER_02 27:15

No, but sweet potatoes, like people love them, but then they got to load it up with butter. They got to load it up with cinnamon. Some of them have marshmallows on them, honey, some of them. It's like, Oh, I love all of the things. It's like people who love coffee and put all the shit in the coffee. Now, I love black coffee.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

I am a real man.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

But people, extra medium man, but people who put all the stuff on the things, they don't enjoy the original thing. They just don't.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

My mom loved sweet potatoes and she would just put butter on it.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

So

SPEAKER_00 27:48

she did. So

SPEAKER_02 27:49

that's honest, but she's then one of the few. But anyway, don't like sweet potatoes, never like sweet potato fries.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

All right, you know who loves sweet potatoes more than anybody? Babies. Because it's one of the things that you give them in the jars, and they love it because it's like the first food that they're eating. So like, well, this tastes better than whatever you've been giving me. And the 15-year-old, when she was little, we had this digital camera that would do this thing where it would isolate one color.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Yes, yes. Now there's an app for that.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Right, but I had a camera that would do it. And so we took her when she was one or almost one to the pumpkin patch and you pointed the digital camera at the pumpkin, isolated just the orange so that there was this black and white baby sitting in the pumpkin patch and all the pumpkins were just orange except for her nose, her cheeks and her ears turned orange in the picture because she had so much beta carotene from the sweet potatoes she ate as an infant. Oh,

SPEAKER_02 28:42

that's amazing. Well, did that do her any harm? Or did it just look weird in that

SPEAKER_00 28:45

picture? It just looked weird in that picture. But yeah, look at a baby the next time. They look a little bit orange because of the carrots and the sweet potatoes.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Wow. Next. Why hasn't there ever been a movie about a really successful dentist who just goes

SPEAKER_00 28:59

about his business? I actually appreciate this question. I don't really care about dentists. I have worked through my trauma over dentists and I'm actually, I got a great dentist and I'm fine. But I actually really have thought a lot about this. I just want a movie in which there is no, no, what's the thing?

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Conflict?

SPEAKER_00 29:21

That's the word I'm looking for. There's no conflict. It's just people are happy. This is their life. Reality TV doesn't do that for us. We all need conflict. And I don't want that. I just want to see a slice of life, people being happy. That's what I want.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

There are plenty of documentaries that do that.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

I don't think so. Everything needs a story arc. Everything has a narrative in which there is conflict and resolution. I just want happy. That's what I want. Now, I don't really care about a dentist being happy. I'm happy for him. But just anybody, rom-coms, just go be happy and funny. I don't need the fake conflict. Just go be happy. I

SPEAKER_02 29:59

think there has been a movie that depicted a dentist realistically going about his business the way dentists do. It's called Little Shop of Horrors. Steve Martin does a great job realistically portraying dentists. So check that out. That's my recommendation. Last question. If a Kardashian grew out a mustache, would it become a trend? My answer to that is Rob did and no one cared.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Excellent. I have nothing to add to that.

SPEAKER_02 30:29

Thank you, Dan Belson, for contributing to our first listener mailbag. If you have any questions for us, send it to familiarwilsons at gmail.com or slide gently into our DMs.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

AWA, ask Wilsons anything. Put that in the subject line.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

Bam.

UNKNOWN 30:56

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

No one likes to be told what to do.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

And now's the time in our podcast where we tell you what to do. Amanda, tell us what to do.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

All right, here's my thing. It's the little things, right? The big things. Not in all

SPEAKER_02 31:12

cases.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

No, the extra medium things are the things. But right now, little things in life that make us happy. Here's the thing. Go to the craft store. Buy yourself a $5 pack of magnets. There's like 52 magnets in it from Michael's. Get yourself some spider rings or some acorns or some tiny little Christmas ornaments at the Dollar Tree, whatever it is. Get yourself some hot glue and glue the things onto the magnets and stick them onto the refrigerator. I have been gluing spiders on the magnets. There are now 20 spiders on my refrigerator and it has made the five-year-old so happy. It makes me happy. I did this with leaves and acorns. I got real acorns and spray painted them. It's the little things. When you go to go in the refrigerator, it will just make you happy. Listen, the world is a horrible place sometimes, but if you have a spider on your refrigerator and it's happy to see you when you go to get your coffee or or whatever it is, if you don't drink black coffee like Josh, then you will be happy too.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Can we do little mosquitoes?

SPEAKER_00 32:11

No, I don't like the mosquitoes. We can do love bugs.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

So there you go. That's our suggestion, our recommendation for the day.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

That's right. Make yourself happy.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

And when you say make yourself happy, what are we talking about here? By

SPEAKER_00 32:25

getting some magnets and smiling at them, not whatever you were doing to the microphone earlier. This is a weird episode.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Do you not like it?

SPEAKER_00 32:33

I like it, but this is what happens when we let Dan Belson take over our episodes. We took about anal sex and McDonald's breakfast all in one episode. I have whiplash. I have emotional whiplash from this episode. Are you going to just let me keep talking?

SPEAKER_02 32:51

All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

Oh, thank the Lord. Thanks for sticking with us, friends.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

So we will be back next week with some such nonsense. I think we're going to talk about creativity and sparking creativity next week. I think that that might be our subject. Go ahead and bump on over to Patreon. We have a Patreon and we have loyal listeners who are supporting us. We're so grateful for them. And we would like for you also to be one of them. Hey, Bye. Bye. Bye. I mean. Apparently we put anything in this show. But music, extra songs, extra bits of interviews, all that fun stuff. So go to the Patreon website and look for Super Familiar with the Wilsons and go ahead and join on up. We'd love to see you there. Oh, and also occasionally I send stuff to people. That's also a thing.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

That's true. Things just might show up in your mailbox.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Until next week. Go enjoy yourself some breakfast. Get yourself some magnets.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

And just be careful where you put the magnets.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

Go be nice. Bye

SPEAKER_02 34:12

now.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

We hope to see you next week. Meanwhile, subscribe to our podcast. Tell your friends. See you soon. Is this meant to be missed out fire? I don't know, man. It's pretty bad. That's all I got. See ya.