Virgin Gators and Junk Drawers

Josh had an odd encounter with a stranger in a grocery store, a miracle gator, stuff we don't throw away, and a quiz for the ages.

Boop.

MUSIC: "Whiskey in the Jar", “Wilson Tron”, and "Wilson Suite (radio edit)" by Josh Wilson.

 "Steve's Theme" (news break theme) by Andrew Wilson - Find him at electricsheap.bandcamp.com/music or search "AJCW" on iTunes, Spotify, and other music sources.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
Find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/wilsonspodcast
on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwitthewilsons
on twitter at https://twitter.com/familiarwilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The following podcast uses words like and and also If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. 3, 2, 1, run. Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Josh.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Amanda, mulch is just tree dander. You know, we don't think about things like that, but our kid plays in mulch and he's basically playing in dander. In like dead skin. Dead skin.

UNKNOWN 0:41

That's gross.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

It's really gross. Why do we let our kid do that?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

He's walking on dander.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

That's a song.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

I'm walking on dander. I had a really strange encounter with a lady at the grocery store. I told you the story, right?

SPEAKER_01 0:57

No, this is one of those things where you save it for the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

I didn't tell you about the lady who came up to me. She was older than I. Older than me. She was, I think that she was Brazilian. I mean her accent, not under the belt. And she said, excuse me, sir. And I'm not going to try to do the accent. She said, excuse me, sir. Do you have a pet? A pet? Do you have a pet? And I'm looking around because I want to know. Like

SPEAKER_01 1:25

you lost

SPEAKER_00 1:26

it? No, I want to know what the scam is. Right. I mean, this just doesn't happen. We're not even. Where

SPEAKER_01 1:30

in the grocery store were you?

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Not the pet aisle.

UNKNOWN 1:34

What?

SPEAKER_00 1:34

I said, yes, I have a dog. She says, okay, pardon me. She points down and in her cart, she has two large bags of dog food. She's got like Beneful and she's got Purina. Okay. I think. Okay. Now, it's possible that Purina and Beneful was on the same package. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't

SPEAKER_01 1:52

know. I don't

SPEAKER_00 1:53

know. It was the yellow one and the white one.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Okay, got it. The yellow one's Pedigree, but okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Pedigree, thank you. And then Purina, I think is- Is Beneful, I think is, yeah, yeah. Doesn't matter. She said, which one of these should I get for my dog?

UNKNOWN 2:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

And I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Why are you the dog food expert?

SPEAKER_00 2:12

She said, yeah, I'm trying to decide which one of these to get. And I'm like, well, I haven't yet tried both of them. We do

SPEAKER_01 2:20

buy the yellow one for our dog sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

And that's what I said. I said, well, we buy the yellow one, but he probably would like the white one better because I think that that was the more expensive, fancier one. And she laughed and I probably said something else. We had like a little exchange and then on her way, right? And then on my way out, I saw her. I had already checked out and she was checking out. And I said, good luck. And so at the end of it, it was a pleasant little exchange. That's so odd. So what is the most... unusual but yet pleasant encounter you've had with a stranger.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Well, it wasn't the time somebody texted me the wrong number telling me I killed her chicken.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Yeah, that's right. But we've done that.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

We've not done that. We did it on the Belsons. We've never told it here. But I mean, it's fine. That's for another time. It was not that. I don't know. I'd have to think about that. While I'm thinking, can I tell you something? She is older than I was, correct. You didn't need to correct yourself to me.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Thank you. Thank you for correcting my correction. Finding out a way I was wrong even when I was right. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

You're welcome. I mean, I talked... But see, that's the thing, though. I talk to strangers all of the time. I

SPEAKER_00 3:30

know you do.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

So I... But there are many, many... The most recent one I can think of is when I was in Lord Help Me, the worst place to be before the holidays, Walmart. And I really... don't like admitting that I had to do it, but because Target took away their garden section. Target used to have a garden section about 20 years ago and they took it away. Now I got to go to Walmart and I was trying to get down a tree Like you'd climbed up a tree and you're trying to get down it? No, it was in the garden section and they had the fake trees, but I needed a four foot fake tree for the 16 year old's bedroom and I couldn't reach it. And this older gentleman with a cane came up behind me and said, here, do your hold this. Handed me his cane and proceeded to like get on his toes and reach up there and get the tree box down for me.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Oh, that's very nice. It was

SPEAKER_01 4:23

very nice of him, but I was a little confused about why he was handing me his cane. But then I wound up and it was the line to check out was longer than I've stood in some lines at amusement parks. I mean, it was forever. But I wound up being in line behind his partner and she was talking to him and he wandered away. And I said to her, oh, you know what? He helped me, blah, blah, blah. And she said, he is very much a gentleman. And that's, you know, anyway, it was that was a lovely little exchange with with. Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 4:53

but that's kind of like a normal exchange. I'm saying like something that you would look back on and say, well, that was weird, but it turned out to be okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

I mean, I thought it was weird the guy was handing me his cane.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Well, no, weird is him handing you his cane and not coming back for it. But I was reading an article because this idea of encounters with strangers kind of piqued my interest, as it does sometimes. And I was reading an article by a psychologist who, And it was talking about meaningful human connection. And this person's saying that one's sense of belonging and emotional safety with family, friends, but also with communities is built through large and small interactions. These often small and fleeting and sometimes powerfully memorable moments of connection can occur at any time, and they make you feel safer.

UNKNOWN 5:46

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

The author goes on to talk about how people experience meaningful connection during the pandemic, especially during a time where people were not able to have as much connection. So people are walking through the neighborhood and talking to other people. Feeling well connected to others contributes to mental health. meaning in life and even physical well-being. When loneliness or isolation becomes chronic, human brains and bodies suffer, straining a person's long-term well-being, at least as significantly as major health risk issues such as obesity and air pollution.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

But it just goes to show that being a good neighbor or being a but then also for the people that you're affecting. And then conversely, if you're an asshole to the checker at the grocery store, you're contributing to maybe their overall feeling of not being safe. and their physical dis-health.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Yeah. It's interesting because that really correlates with some research I was reading today. So I'm working on a pretty exciting yet to be disclosed project outside of work. And I was doing some research.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Like the shrubbery?

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Yes. Right outside the door? Right outside of work. No, in my off time because I have so much of it. I was reading an article in a psychology journal about... feedback loops and that's basically turn-taking right so it's teaching a feedback loop with a young child would be something called serve and return where even with infants you notice that they're focused on something they're babbling and so you acknowledge the their attention you respond they babble you respond back and you're teaching kind of this conversational turn-taking um and it's this article was talking, this study had gone into analyzing how this idea of conversational turn-taking also helps develop theory of the mind, which I had to look up because I didn't know. And it's the idea of being able to place yourself in someone else's, like outside of yourself. Empathy. Basically empathy. But I mean, the way it was worded is being able to place yourself in someone else's shoes as it were. And that they developed one strengthens the other, right? It's a reciprocal relationship. So the more conversational turns you have, the more you are able to place yourself in someone else's shoes and be empathetic. So it sort of goes to what you're talking about, connection. But the scientific act of just conversational back and forth does create that ability to be empathetic, which then creates safety for other people.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, again, this just goes to show that we all do play a part in making our society pleasant, and then conversely, you know, all of the negativity and shit that's going on is very bad for the society. What we don't want to do is we don't want to find ourselves alone and isolated. But if we do, the human race may survive If we take a tip from this. Crocodile found to have made herself pregnant in first known virgin birth.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

I read about that this

SPEAKER_00 9:11

week. The mother crocodile was kept in isolation, had never been around male crocs, and analysis proved her crocodile fetus was 99.9 genetically identical to her.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

How did it happen?

SPEAKER_00 9:22

What is the 0.1? That's not, though.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

A firefly? I don't know. A

SPEAKER_00 9:28

crocodile in Costa Rica has made herself pregnant, it says.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

I've read, I saw, well, okay, again, because I am a super familiar with the Wilson podcaster, I just read headlines, but I did see that headline a couple different times this week.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

What do you think of this?

SPEAKER_00 9:44

I think that women the world over, like this crock has cracked the secret, boy. She is. I don't know if she's got like a magic bullet or...

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Oh, God. Those don't impregnate you, though. Well, something. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

I assume that she was enjoying herself at the time and this just happened.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Or girls sneaking out or someone sneaking in

SPEAKER_00 10:08

and no one knows. That's right. It's very small crocodile, that 0.1%. Very tiny crocodile. Real quick.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

The noise you just made. Well, we just watched the Mario movie and so now I'm thinking of Tiny Bowser. Like

SPEAKER_00 10:26

he got shrunken down. That's what it is. There you go. Let's talk about junk drawers, baby. Oh, God. Let's talk about you and me and our junk drawer and the junk in your trunk and all

SPEAKER_01 10:57

the things.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Junk drawers. Things that are found in junk drawers. We've

SPEAKER_01 11:03

got some weird ass stuff in our junk drawers.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Well, this episode is kind of like the junk drawer of podcasts right now just because we're zinging around. We're going around topics and stuff. But what are some things that, what would you guess? Because there's a list here. The top things that are found in junk

SPEAKER_01 11:20

drawers. Okay, ready? Go ahead. I can do this. Go ahead. Masking tape.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Some sort of tape.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Is that on your list?

SPEAKER_00 11:27

A roll of tape without the holder.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Okay, yeah. It is on the list. All right, scissors?

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Yes, scissors.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Safety scissors, it says. Okay. What I had was not safety scissors. They were giant. Growing up, I'm saying giant. They were red. All red, giant, like almost look like garden shears, these scissors. And they had this like claw thing in the middle of the two finger handles that was either to open a bottle of beer or like scrape the skin off someone's arm or something, I don't know. I think

SPEAKER_01 12:00

they're like, aren't they for like shucking crabs or something?

SPEAKER_00 12:03

Yeah, shucking crabs. It's the thing that we did. Also crabs in our junk drawer. Okay. All right, so let's see. Here we go. I'm gonna read down this list.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

No, I'm guessing. Tape measures?

SPEAKER_00 12:14

It says here, rulers, but not me. What we had was a protractor and a compass. Remember those things? Like the little half moon shaped ruler thing and then to measure angles. And then you remember a compass basically to draw a circle? Yeah, that's what we had. Did you have a compass? I

SPEAKER_01 12:36

mean, I had them for math class and have them in the junk drawer. Listen, growing up with Shirley, my mom, the junk drawer was nice and organized. This junk drawer here is out of control. You know what's in this junk drawer here? Tiny little playing cards from the time that we did the English Christmas crackers. And we got the weird things from the England land. Nails or push pins.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Thumbtacks. There you go. Thumbtacks. And my theory is that every junk drawer has thumbtacks. Ours does. And that's also why no junk drawers ever get emptied because it's too fucking dangerous. It's like... I'm going to only get the thing out of there that I need to get that I can see and then leave. The rest of it's in no man's land. The

SPEAKER_01 13:22

only thing I go in our junk drawer for is the tape and the scissors. But we got a lot of shit ton of stuff in there.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

All right. What else in your junk drawer growing

SPEAKER_01 13:31

up? Well, no. I told you, mine was good. So I got it... Appliance manuals, because we got a bunch of those in there.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

Yeah, see, I don't think that that is normal for junk drawers. We have always done that since we've been married, had the appliance manuals, because our junk drawer ends up being right next to the stove.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

But I don't think that's a thing. Have you

SPEAKER_01 13:52

ever looked at one of the appliance manuals,

SPEAKER_00 13:54

though? No. I know how to use a stove.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Why do we keep that?

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I don't know, but you can't throw them away. It's like you're not supposed to rip the tag off of the bed, either, because you'll get in trouble. All right, ready? Yes, go. All right. Dead Batteries.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Oh, that's you. And good batteries. You do this. Ben, I know you do this and you did it the other day because we have the pack of batteries that are there, right? With the back popped out and a couple of batteries missing and then just two dead ass batteries laying next to it in the drawer. And I know it's you. And I know that you, because you did it yesterday with your mouse too. And I was like, are these batteries dead? Yep. Okay. Why are they still here?

SPEAKER_00 14:33

That wasn't in the drawer. That was on the countertop. No, but you've

SPEAKER_01 14:36

done it in the drawer before though.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Go ahead. Okay. A key.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Yeah. Well, I wasn't going to mention that. To something. Because we always have keys in that drawer.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

I think I still have a key to my first car. And that was freaking 40 years ago, whatever it was, 30 years ago. Magnets.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

We have magnets in that drawer.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

And I'm not talking about like electron magnets. I'm not talking about like the disc magnets. I'm talking about fridge magnets. Yeah. Why do fridge magnets go anywhere but the fridge?

SPEAKER_01 15:06

I don't know. We don't have those in our drawer. Maybe we don't have

SPEAKER_00 15:09

magnets. Maybe someone was trying to collect all the thumbtacks and they dropped the magnet amongst them and they couldn't get

SPEAKER_01 15:16

the... We do have magnets. We have two junk drawers. And so one has the batteries and the magnets and one has the other stuff. But I have those magnets because I try to be cute and like glue magnets on acorns for Thanksgiving or fall and glue magnets on Christmas ornaments for Christmas and put them all over the refrigerator and you get so annoyed with me

SPEAKER_00 15:35

because the things just fall off. Because you buy weak-ass magnets, right, from the hobby store. And

SPEAKER_01 15:40

glass ornaments.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

And glass ornaments. And, you know, you open the thing and they fall down like dandruff.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yes. Tree dandruff. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

A screwdriver. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

I was going to say tools. Yes, we have that.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

We used to have a screwdriver and a hammer in our junk drawer, but it's because it makes the most sense. The boom right there. I

SPEAKER_01 16:00

don't know where the hammer went.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

I used it. It's up in our bathroom right now.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

I'm concerned about why that's the case. Okay,

SPEAKER_00 16:07

go ahead. Old birthday cards.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Yes, those are in the drawer with the magnets.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Why do we keep old birthday cards?

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Because somebody's going to die one day and we need the cards.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

No, no one has ever like, here, let me pull out the old birthday cards to read. No one has done this. First of all, you don't do that because if you do that, you're going to start to notice that people write the same shit on the birthday card every year because they've forgotten what they've written last year.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Now that's a reason for you to keep. The birthday

SPEAKER_01 16:35

card you give other people. You need a copy of

SPEAKER_00 16:38

this. That's what it is. You make copies of the birthday card. You need a

SPEAKER_01 16:41

carbon copy. That's right. Throw it way back.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Rubber bands.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Yeah, we got those.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Glue.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

I can't find the glue. It's not in the junk drawer and I need it.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Well, I was going to specifically say super glue that's hardened in the thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then you can't get it out.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Which, by the way, super glue is one use. I don't care who you are. Super glue is one use. Yeah. So you better use that shit all in one session because either you don't put the top back on right and it hardens or you put the top back on and the top now sticks to the thing. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have a top for super glue is an idiot.

UNKNOWN 17:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Well, how would you fix that? What would you do?

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Single use. They have single use super glue right now. Those pencils with the shitty erasers that just make pink. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

And never sharpened pencils, either really dull or unsharpened pencils.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

Well, see, we didn't have those pencils, but we had a shit ton. I don't know why, but growing up, we had a shit ton of golf pencils.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Actually, I do know. It probably went in the damn compass.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Yeah. So that you could make the circles.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

But yeah, I don't know why. My dad didn't play golf. My

SPEAKER_01 17:58

dad did and I didn't have little golf pencils

SPEAKER_00 17:59

around. Did you have like other little golf things? There were golf tees places around. Tees, yeah. And then the last one that they have listed here. Plastic handheld pencil sharpeners.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Nope, can never find that.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Or the little shitty pencil.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

No, this is why I can never use my pencils because there's not a pencil sharpener. The scissors have disappeared. The glue is gone. I got some tiny-ass playing cards, though. I don't think my junk drawer is functional. I don't think

SPEAKER_00 18:31

the junk drawers, the only function is to hold the stuff that you think you're going to need and you never throw away. Although for us, that's called the garage. Oh

SPEAKER_01 18:41

my God. Don't get me started on the garage.

UNKNOWN 18:55

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

All right, Amanda, remember the weekly quiz that we used to do? Oh,

SPEAKER_01 19:02

God, song quiz.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Yes, but this is the dong quiz.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

What is wrong

SPEAKER_00 19:09

with you? This is the dong quiz.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

What is wrong

SPEAKER_00 19:13

with you? I'm going to quiz you with actors in Hollywood who apparently have... giant dongs.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Why is this a thing I need to know? Why is this a thing the audience needs to know? Why is this a thing that's on your search history on your phone?

SPEAKER_00 19:27

So this is gonna be how it goes. I'm gonna give you a quote from an actor who is said to have a giant dong.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Oh my

SPEAKER_00 19:37

God. If you can't guess from the quote, and then you'll spin the wheel, and then you'll get some sort of clue from the wheel.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Where is the wheel?

SPEAKER_00 19:43

It's right here.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

All right, so are you ready? So the first quote for the dong quiz.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I can't believe this is happening to me. Is this, you're so proud of yourself too. Like you're just so giddy with excitement. Is this a quote from a movie? Like it's a famous

SPEAKER_00 20:03

quote or just they've said this out in the world? This is a thing that they've said, right? Okay, so first one. Some mornings you wake up and think, gee, I look handsome today. Other days I think, what am I doing in the movies? I want to go back to Ireland and drive a forklift.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Colin Farrell.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

No, that is not this actor. Spin the wheel. IMDb. So that's going to be your quiz. I'm going to give you a TV show or a movie or something that this actor

SPEAKER_01 20:38

has played in. I thought you said, I am DB. And I'm like, what Irish actors have the initials DB? Got it. I am DB.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Got it. Or this clue is, I am dong big. What's wrong with you? So this actor was in the movie Taken.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Oh, Liam Neeson.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Liam Neeson. You may know him as an accomplished actor of stage and screen. But the women who have shared a bed with Liam Neeson know him as an accomplished actor of stage and screen with a huge wiener.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

First of all, I'm upset that I know this about him.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

According to his former fling, Janice Dickinson.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

Yes, I've heard of this woman.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Her last name has special meaning now. Neeson has the biggest member of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out, she said.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

There you go. So you get a point there.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Who is he married to?

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Wasn't he married? Very happy woman. Next, quote from this actor. Ready? I had extra thick lightsabers because mine kept getting bent. I'd be halfway through a fight and it would be like, oops, sorry, mine's bent again. Who is it?

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Samuel L. Jackson.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

No, it is not Samuel L. Jackson. Although I'm quite certain that Samuel Jackson is size L. All right, spin the wheel. All right, let's see. Did he get an award for it? This clue is I will list awards and or nominations that this actor has received. And maybe that'll be a hint. Let's see. In 2010, this person was appointed by the French government as a Knight of the Order of Arts and Letters. And he was appointed an Officer of the Order of the British Empire in the 2013 New Year's Honors for services to drama and charity.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

What

SPEAKER_00 22:45

actor is this?

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Is this from the original Star Wars trilogy?

SPEAKER_00 22:54

No. Now is the time that you guess.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Who played Obi-Wan? What's the British actor guy? Who played old Obi-Wan?

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Alec Guinness?

SPEAKER_01 23:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

It's not Alec Guinness. Okay, nil poix. It is, though, Ewan McGregor.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Okay, see, that's the thing is I don't want to know this about Ewan McGregor because I like Ewan McGregor and I like watching The Long Way Up and The Long Way Down and don't make any references. Don't

SPEAKER_00 23:23

make any jokes right now. Now we know what was long when it was up and down. All right, next. All right, are you ready? I

SPEAKER_02 23:29

don't want to think about this.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Are you ready for the next quote? Yes. Here we go. I do have the ability to explore life and to be over the moon at the smallest thing.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Or the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

It's not for him to say. He says, a few pints and a crack in the pub and I'm in heaven.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Why are, it's all these Irish and British people. All

SPEAKER_00 23:50

right, who is it?

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Hugh Grant.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

No, spin the wheel. No. All right, this clue is, there's something in my mouth, but I'll say his name anyways.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Oh, God, you're going to say his name like there's something in your mouth,

SPEAKER_00 24:06

right? So I'm going to say his name like there's something in my mouth, and then you've got to kind of guess who it is. This is

SPEAKER_01 24:12

what you've been doing all afternoon? Ready? Just writing this quiz? Are you ready? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

All right, here we go. Martin Sheen? Martin Sheen. Jesus, I'm going to say it again. Ready? Listen. Listen. okay

SPEAKER_01 24:32

so it's two syllables for the first and last name um i i

SPEAKER_00 24:37

all right let's go i got places to be come on i

SPEAKER_01 24:39

don't know um the rock

SPEAKER_00 24:42

the

SPEAKER_01 24:43

rock one syllable what's that what's that guy's name i'm trying to think of

SPEAKER_00 24:47

dwayne johnson

SPEAKER_01 24:48

dwayne Dwayne Johnson. No. I'm trying to think

SPEAKER_00 24:52

of tall big men. You went with the Johnson thing. Okay, ready? Like McGregor, Colin Farrell hasn't been shy. Oh, I already

SPEAKER_01 25:00

guessed Colin Farrell.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

About whipping out his wang for the camera.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

First of all, Ewan McGregor whips it out, apparently.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Okay. Second of all, I already guessed Colin Farrell.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Yeah, but it doesn't count. You didn't guess for this one. Okay. No points.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

What is with the Irish people and the British people and the big babies? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

They've got a big shillelagh baby. Ready? Next.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

Here's

SPEAKER_00 25:23

the quote. I never act. I simply bring out the real animal that's in me.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Oh, God, is that your Nicholson voice? Because I do not need to know that Jack Nicholson has a big

SPEAKER_00 25:33

penis. No, it's not Nicholson. Is that your guess? Yes. Well, it's not Nicholson. I just gave you a chance there, and you didn't take it. Okay, spin the wheel. All right, this clue is, who might have seen it?

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Apparently, everyone, if you're Colin Farrell or Ewan McGregor.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

In 1977... This person began a relationship with director Elizabeth LeCompte and then later with Italian actress Giada Calagrande. There you go. That's your clue. Okay, well, I know none

SPEAKER_01 26:05

of those people. Charlton Heston.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

No. What? No.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

I'm trying to guess people in the 70s. Burt Reynolds.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Oh, I love this. Okay. No. No points. It's Willem Dafoe.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Oh, no, he's scary.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

Oh, I knew this about him now. Yeah, Willem Dafoe is widely rumored to be the owner of Hollywood's largest package, although they said that about the last two. While shooting his latest film, Antichrist, the director found out for himself the film called for Dafoe to hack off his own member. I didn't know that. But when it came time to shoot the scene... They decided to use a Wang double. No, they used a double, another person. Not because he wanted to keep the ladies from getting too excited, but because his penis, Defoe's penis was so large, everyone was very confused when they saw it. I

SPEAKER_01 26:54

was just so confused. And so it took them out of the... It took

SPEAKER_00 26:59

them out of their minds. They didn't know what to do. Took

SPEAKER_01 27:01

them out of the narrative.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

Yes, absolutely. All right, next. Here's the quote. The very nature of cool is that you think about it too much and it becomes uncool. What a douchebag. God. I'm going to do my impression of this person for this question. The very nature of cool, pal, is that you think about it too much and it becomes uncool. There's my impression of this person. That's extra. Not to spin the wheel for that.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

I... I don't know who that is. All

SPEAKER_00 27:35

right, spin the wheel. Who might have seen it?

SPEAKER_01 27:42

No.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Uma Thurman.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Barbra Streisand. Cybill Shepherd. Oh. Former Andy Warhol model, Patti Darbonville.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

Actress Nicolette Sheraton.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

Pamela DeBarge. Melanie Griffith.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

I have no idea who all these women slept with. Who's the guy that played Dick Tracy?

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Warren Beatty. Warren Beatty. No, wrong. Okay. He may be best known for his white linen suits and well-manicured stubble, but Don

SPEAKER_02 28:20

Johnson. Oh, God. I thought you liked Don Johnson.

SPEAKER_00 28:25

Is apparently hung like a speedboat.

UNKNOWN 28:28

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

According to a website with the authoritative name Bulge Report, it says that Johnson is sporting the penis of a porn king, which might actually be a line of work he's moving into, considering the name of his next film is a good old-fashioned orgy.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

All right, good. Got it.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Last one. Here's your quote. My wife and I have a perfect understanding, he said. Oh, Lord. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run my life.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Okay, okay. Well, he's funny.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Steve Martin is my guess.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

No. Okay. Spin the wheel. Who might have seen it?

SPEAKER_01 29:10

I don't like this clue.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Evangelist Amy Semple McPherson, columnist Dorothy Kilgallen, famous actress Betty Hutton, and Marilyn Monroe.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

JFK?

SPEAKER_00 29:26

No.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

I don't know, dude. Jimmy Swagger? That is a deep cut for some other, for very select listeners.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Milton Berle.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Okay. Well, so I wasn't wrong with going Steve Martin's Generation.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Milton Berle might... No, dude. Milton Berle's like the generation before Steve Wein. Milton Berle may be dead, but the legend of Hollywood's most famous... He may be

SPEAKER_01 29:48

dead, but he's got a big penis. What is the secret to me?

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Milton Berle may be dead, but the legend of Hollywood's most famous dong lives on. Over the course of his career, the late actor became as well known for his prodigious penis as he was for his comedy. His wang was so large that comedian Phil Silvers once snuck a peek while taking a leak and said, you'd better feed that thing or it's liable to turn on you.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Even after Uncle Miltie's passing in 2002, people were talking about his member. During a memorial service-

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Somebody did not try to look at it.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Nope. During a memorial service, a comedian friend of Burl's announced, on May 1st and May 2nd, his penis will be buried.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Oh, my God. I thought you said somebody snuck into the casket and tried to look.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

Oh, my God. This

SPEAKER_01 30:36

is the worst. This is worse than the song quiz.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

You did a lot worse, though. You only got one right. Well,

SPEAKER_01 30:42

because this is awful.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

You only got one right. Who did I get

SPEAKER_01 30:44

right?

SPEAKER_00 30:45

Liam Neeson, the very first one you got right. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. So there you go.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

And I only got that because IMDB. I need that clue. That's who might've seen it is not a good category. The spinning of the wheel did not work out for me today.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

So Milton Berle. I

SPEAKER_01 31:00

don't, why are we thinking about

SPEAKER_00 31:01

this? Well, just Marilyn Monroe. That's why. But

SPEAKER_01 31:05

also Joe DiMaggio. Like, I mean, she made some interesting choices, but she was

SPEAKER_00 31:09

a hurting woman. I mean, he had a big bet as well, so. That's true. No one likes to be told

SPEAKER_01 31:32

what to do.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

Now's the time in the show where we tell you what to do. Amanda, what should we do?

SPEAKER_01 31:37

You need to go get some cucumber and put it in your water. No, it's just because we just had the dong quiz.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

You

SPEAKER_00 31:45

can't wait to go get that cucumber now.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

No, I already sliced it up, so there. I was at a hotel today meeting a colleague to work on something. Oh, that

SPEAKER_00 31:57

sounds so sketchy. I know. So in this podcast, we've talked about pleasant encounters with strange and then famous dongs and now you're meeting people in hotels.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

Okay. It was a work meeting. Work it. They had, you know, like they had a carafe of water, one of the water dispensers, and they had cucumber in it. And I was drinking it. I'm like, this is lovely. This is refreshing. Well, I mean, I bought a cucumber on the way home for 89 cents at Trader Joe's, sliced it up and put it in my cup. I have one of those glass cups with the lid and the straw, and you have one as well. And it's not a new invention, but we drink so much more water. So these are my two recommendations. If you need to drink water, go to Target on the aisle with the coffee mugs and thermoses and stuff. It's a glass container. It's a glass cup. It's like 16 inches. What's a classic

SPEAKER_00 32:50

cup? This still sounds like you're talking about a penis. I

SPEAKER_01 32:52

don't know. Rubber sleeve. It's$11. Buy it. You will drink so much more water. Don't you find that you drink a lot more water with it? with this thing or you enjoy drinking the water

SPEAKER_00 33:01

more? I do, yeah. Well, I like drinking water anyway, but drink more water. That's my recommendation. Drink more water. People don't drink enough water. And buy yourself

SPEAKER_01 33:07

a cucumber to go with it. You interrupted me, so I interrupted you back. Buy a cucumber. I also bought some mint leaves for$1.89 and threw them in my water and it's a very lovely summer refresher. So there you go. That's my recommendation. Drink more water. Buy this cup. Buy a cucumber. It's up to you what you choose to do with it.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

Okay, excellent. That's right. That's right. But if you do anything interesting with this cucumber, get in touch. Let us know. I don't need to know. Well, just send it to me then.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Pics only. No video.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

No pictures, please. Just text will be fine. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. You are fixing to go away, aren't you? Again, yet again.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

Third week in a row.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Yet again, when this is released, you're not going to be here.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

I know. Are

SPEAKER_00 34:02

you going to listen to this? You're going to be in a hotel. You're going to be listening to our podcast. Do you

SPEAKER_01 34:05

listen to our podcast? I do. I listen to both of our podcasts. We have two podcasts.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

Yes, we do. The other one is Unscrew It Up, Whole Care Network. You should listen to it. It's really good.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

This week, Josh did really, really unkind things to me via coffee.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

So, yeah, so here's the thing. We have this podcast called Unscrew It Up, and this week we unscrewed up coffee, so I suggested some things, and we're not going to say what they are, because you might go listen, and had Amanda sample them, and I thought that they were delicious, and she did not like a lot of them, and somehow that's my fault.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Well, correct. You purchased them, you put them in a blender... you handed them to me and made me drink them. Okay,

SPEAKER_00 34:51

I did not make you drink them.

SPEAKER_01 34:52

Also, and I said this to you on that show, you knew what they were. There is some psychology behind not knowing what you're about to put into your mouth. Again, this is... I'm done. I'm done with this episode. What are we talking about again? I'm done. Forget it. Never mind. I'm all done.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

We have some people to thank.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

This is what happens when we record late at night instead of in the morning.

SPEAKER_00 35:15

We want to thank Liam Neeson and... Don Johnson and Willem Dafoe and Josh Scar and Karen and Ann and Matt and Kay and Jay, Danny Buckets, Antonio, Justin, Leo, the Bowtie Guy, Chris, Chicken Tom, Joey,

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Joey,

SPEAKER_00 35:39

and of course, Dan and Gavin and Mark and Rachel and Colin

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Robinson.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

All right, folks, until next week, There are no words.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Don't make a penis reference. Just go to bed and be nice. No, God! Did

SPEAKER_00 35:59

you say pee nice?

SPEAKER_01 36:01

No, get out of here.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

All right. You're really tired, aren't you?

SPEAKER_02 36:06

I'm really red, too.

SPEAKER_00 36:08

You are really red. That's terrible. Okay. All right, folks. Until next week, we'll talk to you later. Bye now.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

Do you have

SPEAKER_01 36:54

anything else? No, I have questions about why you are so obsessed with people's penises

SPEAKER_00 36:57

this week. I'm not obsessed. I'm not obsessed. It's just an interesting thing that I saw. Because I wanted to do the dong quiz. You just wanted to do it. I always have the wordplay first, and then I go for whatever bit I can do.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

Well, all right. I'm glad it made you happy. It made me super uncomfortable. I'm glad to know that there is some equal opportunity endowment there. across the pond in the United States as well because you were like zeroing in on all those UK people over there. I didn't

SPEAKER_00 37:25

make the list. I didn't do the research. It was there for me. And you're right. It's now on my search history. So I cannot imagine what's going to show up now. Oh,

SPEAKER_01 37:37

I'm excited about all of the ads that you start to get. like pills.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

No, it would be like reduction, right?

SPEAKER_01 37:46

No, because you could have been looking at the list and like that could be like your vision board. This is what you want to aspire to.