Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Marriage 2.0 with kids…and all the side quests!
Amanda and Josh on marriage, family, relationships, and connecting with new friends and interesting people. New Episodes every week.
Familiar Wilsons Media produces content to bring people together. We are curious, hopeful, and try not to take ourselves too seriously...admittedly, with varying degrees of success.
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwitthewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Emotional Manipulation and Nail Polish Fumes: A Wilson Family Weekend
We celebrate Amanda's 50th birthday with wisdom from friends.
• Amanda's birthday party
• The social awkwardness of parties
• Winthrop scores his first two goals of the soccer season
• Josh rants about movie soundtracks and their heavy-handed emotional manipulation
• We share a segment from our "Unscrew It Up" podcast with humorous solutions to common marriage problems
Write to us at FamiliarWilsons@gmail.com and let us know: Do you still party as much as you used to before the pandemic?
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwitthewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the story. You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down. The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.
Speaker 3:Three, two, one run. I'm Super Fam with the Wilsons Get it.
Speaker 4:Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1:And I'm Josh and we're the podcast that's about marriage 2.0 with kids and all the side quests, and one side quest that we had this week was your birthday party.
Speaker 4:Yeah, not technically my birthday yet. Don't make me 50 yet, but we celebrated my 50th birthday.
Speaker 1:Did that bother you, that we celebrated it on Saturday and you're not 50 till Wednesday and we kept saying you're 50? Did that pull on you a little bit?
Speaker 4:No, because it felt like I was like bet, I'm not, ha ha. Well, next weekend is Muffy's high school graduation, so we weren't able to do it after my birthday. So, no, it's fine, it's good.
Speaker 1:For this birthday. I wanted to make sure that people told you what they thought of you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it was really lovely. It was almost like having a memorial service, but while you're still alive, like everybody was saying what they appreciated about me, but also giving me advice for being 50.
Speaker 1:Right. So here's some of the things that they told you.
Speaker 3:This is john watson from 100 things we learned from film podcast and all the years on this planet, I've realized one thing right, and this is a fact do not eat a, pull them in and then drink fresh oranges mark from 100 things said this um, my bit of advice is not a bit of advice I think you'll ever need.
Speaker 5:It's something that you probably have always adhered to and it's never turned down a free gin.
Speaker 1:Of course Dan and Gavin Belson had to chime in. Here's Gavin.
Speaker 5:Wow, 21. So make sure you enjoy your first drink, but do it responsibly.
Speaker 3:Have a great day and Dan said this Now a little birdie that I threw into a wall has told me it's your 50th birthday. I thought to myself who else has turned 50 this year? Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, in her words, first class up in the sky popping champagne, living my life in the fast lane. Wise words indeed.
Speaker 5:And Daniel J Buckets from buckets, from casting views, said this I'm definitely not one for wise advice, but I thought about it and there's two things I think I can say. One is eat birthday cake like no one's watching definitely something I would do, probably do on days. It's not my birthday, to be fair, um, but yet that's number. And number two is don't waste time making a birthday wish. Just tell Josh everything you want and get him to do it for you.
Speaker 1:Friend of the program. Chris Barron of the Spin Doctor said this Dude life is just beginning.
Speaker 2:I don't think I really knew what the hell I was doing before I turned 50.
Speaker 4:It's so good. It was so good and it's typically I feel awkward when people are like saying nice things to me and everybody's looking at me, but I I maybe it was the sangria or the whiskey sour you made was very into this. So you had a video of all of our friends who couldn't be here and we were all watching it in the living room and all of our friends were watching me watch it and it was. It was really nice. And then you got other people who weren't able to come also to text in advice as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's pretty important that we tell you what we think of you so that you hear it. You know you said that it sounds, it felt like a, or it sounded like a memorial service. Right, I think I've said this before on the podcast Don't wait till the memorial service to say all the great things about the people that you enjoy and that you love, because that's I've been to so many memorial services and every time I hear these stories I think did they tell that person? Does that person know? So it's critically important for me to make sure that you know what you mean to everyone. So if you all have some something to say great about Amanda, please get in touch with us familiarwilsonsgmailcom and let her know.
Speaker 4:But only if it's nice. Thank you.
Speaker 1:A lot of things went right. I made two cocktails. I made a whiskey sour mix and a sangria mix. We ordered catered food, which was perfect. We didn't have to fix anything. A lot of things went right.
Speaker 1:But we still got to figure out this thing of there's always going to be a first person to show up or a first couple to show up and there's always going to be people who stay late you see what I'm saying, yeah we need to organize this better so everyone shows up at the same time and so that everyone leaves at the same time, because then there's no like awkwardness for the people who show up by themselves because no one wants to be the first people there. No one showed up at seven, by the way.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but they were there like 7.05 or 7.10. Right, right, right.
Speaker 1:But I'm sure that they showed up that late because they're like we don't want to be the first ones.
Speaker 4:But they still were.
Speaker 1:But they still were, and that can be awkward. And then, of course, being the last one to leave, that's also like a bit of awkwardness as well. So I have some suggestions here. Right, we don't open the doors until everyone's outside waiting to come in, like they do at a concert. You know, Sure, the band doesn't start playing until, like, everyone's set there. Right, we just have people at the door and when there's a good enough crowd, then we open the doors and everyone comes on in, right? Or we have them gather in another place, like a, an off-site place, and then we have a bus bring them transport yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Or maybe we just send a bus to pick everyone up at their places and then come and that will solve the everyone leaving thing.
Speaker 4:It's like, okay, bus is leaving, that's right if you get on the bus now or you're staying here, well, no, that's not an option, or you're?
Speaker 1:staying on the porch, all right. What is your solution?
Speaker 4:No, it's like a Zoom meeting. So if you have enough Zoom meetings, you eventually will run into one where it says you're in the host's waiting room. You're waiting on them to let you in. So that's basically what you've said, right, it's waiting on the people, so we have a waiting room yes and then we let them in, right, and then we just end the meeting like in the call.
Speaker 4:If the host ends the call, everybody's gone. So then we just say, okay, all done, and and then then they have to leave, they don't have to go home, but they can't stay here, kind of thing like a bell, like last call that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awkward, though I think what you should do at the onset of the party is tell everyone the ending time of the party.
Speaker 4:Well, I think if you send out invites, you're, you know, say like seven to 10 or whatever. You just said, seven. You didn't set an end time, although what you did was just while I was talking to somebody who was still here, so that was your way of being like I'm all done, I'm asleep.
Speaker 1:Can I tell you that I was playing possum there. Friend, I was awake.
Speaker 4:But you figured, if you looked asleep, somebody might.
Speaker 1:Didn't work.
Speaker 4:Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:But we got to figure out a way to fix this for our next party.
Speaker 4:And I do want to have lots more parties in the house. I really, really enjoyed that or a themed party. You know I love a themed party. So we had a small 80s gathering, which was lovely, but people just aren't. I mean, it's five, four years, I guess, past when we finally started socializing again during the pandemic and people just haven't quite recovered from the isolation.
Speaker 1:I think, though, too, that the pandemic really cranked up the stress level in this world, and it's never gone down. Yeah, it's just different stress now, but it's never, ever gone down. Oftentimes, I just want to come home and curl up with you all. But I recognize that that's boring and I don't want to wake up 10 years from now and be like well, where did all that time? Go.
Speaker 1:So that's why I want to have all these parties. So, folks listening, what do you think? Do you still party? Do you party as much as you used to party? Do you party hardy? Do you party more than you used to party?
Speaker 4:Let us know.
Speaker 1:FamiliarWilsons at gmailcom. What.
Speaker 4:No, I'm also interested in our international friends, like Monique. What's the deal with people gathering in germany is it? Is it being done at pre-pandemic levels also? I feel like the belsons are fairly active, but I don't know if it's parties. They go to concerts and wrestling and stuff but weddings, gavin.
Speaker 1:Gavin goes to weddings by himself. Does that count as socializing?
Speaker 4:yes, yeah, that's what it.
Speaker 1:That's a party, and then in scotland, john and kirsty, I wonder, do you all uh party like it's 1899?
Speaker 4:I mean, they eat out a lot Like I see some really lovely restaurant pics on their Instagram. But, yes, are you gathering with people and we don't mean meeting with people Are?
Speaker 1:you gathering people, you know all wearing kilts and no underwear.
Speaker 4:I feel like not wearing underwear.
Speaker 1:It makes for a freer society. I bet they party all the time. Are you kidding? If I never had to wear underwear again, man, I'd just be partying.
Speaker 4:I mean, that sounds like a different kind of party.
Speaker 1:No, not necessarily, Not necessarily. But I'd be there, I'd have my kilts on, I'd be dancing and swaying and ringing like a bell, ding ding ding.
Speaker 4:Don't you think it would have some chafing? There's cream for that Okay.
Speaker 1:Also on Saturday we had Winthrop's last soccer game of the season and perhaps his last soccer game ever.
Speaker 4:Well, it was supposed to be last week but it got rained out, so there was a one week rain delay. So he had a week off and it was. He started on Friday. I don't want to go. I don't want to do it and I conveniently left the house to go buy things for the party, while you got him ready and went to soccer and I met you guys there.
Speaker 1:He was fine. No, he was fine.
Speaker 4:It wound up being a good day.
Speaker 1:We got there and because I feel like people weren't planning on playing this week because they thought last week was the last game a lot less children showed up and I think a lot less coaches showed up as well. So the opposing team, which was Gunter's team, which they've been spanked roundly by Gunter's team all three times, they played them this season.
Speaker 4:And if you remember from last season, Gunter and Winthrop were on the same team and then this season they played against one another.
Speaker 1:But only four people showed up on Gunter's team this week and their coach wasn't. There was a new coach, so they had to figure out what to do. What they ended up doing was just taking kids from both teams and picking two captains and having them re-pick the teams.
Speaker 4:The kids pick the teams. Yeah, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Winthrop ended up being on Gunter's team and Winthrop scored two goals pretty immediately. The only two goals he scored this season, and so I feel like that turned the season around and maybe, maybe, maybe he'll come back. I asked him and they were good goals too, by the way. They were solid kicks, boy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and so whatever team he wound up being on, it was like a mix right, just gray jerseys, that's all we know. They won. It's the first the win of the season. I think up until now they only had maybe two goals the whole season I don't even think that so he scored two goals.
Speaker 4:They won three to two and we were like that's good, we're ending on at least a feeling of accomplishment for him. I asked him today I was you and Muffy went to see a movie and so I was taking him to go run some errands and I said so how was soccer for you yesterday Bad? I was like, really why? Because I wanted to be on Gunter's team and then he got switched. So I guess pretty immediately after he and Gunter were on the same team, Gunter had to go to the other team.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it wasn't fair.
Speaker 4:He was very unhappy about that, that's what he was unhappy about.
Speaker 1:One thing I noticed, though, that I wanted to talk to you about is, before they decided to repick the teams, they were trying to get some of the kids to just switch over to the other team, to even the teams out, and the coach kept asking the kids well, do you want to do it? Well, do you want to do it? And trying to convince them.
Speaker 1:I don't know. That kind of left a weird taste in my mouth. At some point you just say to the kids look, this is what we're going to do, go do it.
Speaker 4:Well, you're leaning on like barely seven-year-olds because Winthrop is on the older end of most of these kids. You're leaning on barely seven-year-olds to make these decisions and it they just need you to tell them you're going. You're going, you're going like number off. Whatever I asked, you said that winthrop did not volunteer to go over. But I asked him in the car today if he was upset about being switched and he said no, I wanted to go, I asked to go no, that's not really how that happened.
Speaker 4:Okay, well, that's how he remembered I kept trying to convince him to go. No, that's not really how that happened.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, that's how he remembered. I kept trying to convince him to go.
Speaker 4:Because you wanted him to play with Gunter. I did yeah.
Speaker 1:But I think that he didn't want to disappoint or hurt the feelings of the kids on his team. Yeah, sweet boy, and so what they ended up doing was receding the whole thing. But I just think in general sometimes we give kids too much say Like I understand this thing, like we want them to be individuals and develop a personality.
Speaker 1:No, don't say it like that, but like just tell them this is what we're gonna do, and then we're gonna do it and let them develop their individuality later. Sometimes it's okay just to tell them this is what's up.
Speaker 4:I don't think you're asking them to not develop their individuality. Now what I hear you saying, and from a developmental standpoint it is no, it's appropriate what I'm telling you. It's appropriate because we can give them way too much choice and then they have decision fatigue, right, they don't know, it's paralyzing.
Speaker 1:Yes, let's wait until they're my age to let the decision fatigue set in as it has.
Speaker 4:Or they just then become very entitled and I get to pick everything right. Then you have kids who never have any say, never have any agency, and they will start to fight back against that. Why are you sniffing my nail polish while we're recording? Quiet, keep going, I'm just sitting here, josh has picked up the nail polish off the bedside table, open it and started sniffing it.
Speaker 1:Well, I didn't know what it was until I opened it.
Speaker 4:But I mean, clearly it looks like a nail, anyway. All right, how did it smell?
Speaker 1:It was very strong. Okay, I feel like I just inhaled some wasabi.
Speaker 4:Yeah, if Josh starts talking a little loopy, we all know why he's been Sniffing the nail polish. Anyway, you can have kids who don't get any agency and then they start fighting against everything, and so it is a balance, right. And also it's okay to say there are things you get to choose and there are things you do not get to choose Because you know what as adults, that is also still the case for us.
Speaker 1:Well right, like chores, for example, like we could have Winthrop do chores, yeah, and we don't.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I want him to start helping the dishes.
Speaker 4:All right, take that over. We did have him feeding the dog, yes, but he pitches the biggest fit about how bad because we feed the dog like refrigerated dog food, like from Whole Foods, like bougie dog food, and he had a fit about how it smells. And then he would pour half the bag in at one time and that stresses me out because the dog food is not cheap.
Speaker 1:Listen, I'm here to tell you. I taught myself how to like beet juice. He can get used to feeding the dog like once a day.
Speaker 4:Okay, how old were you when you taught yourself how to like beet juice?
Speaker 1:Like 10 years ago. What's the point of that?
Speaker 4:I don't understand. And how old is he? He? What's the point of that? I don't understand.
Speaker 1:And how old is he? He's younger and more flexible than I am. All right. Are kids too entitled? Get in touch, let us know. Familiarwilson's at gmailcom. We did go see a movie. We went to go see Thunderbolts in the theater. Muffy and I did, and I liked it very much.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Now I've been hearing that it's a good movie and the two older boys, daniel and Andrew, said that they liked it. So I went into it thinking okay, well, this won't be bad. But it was surprisingly deep. It touched on issues of loneliness and depression and feeling emptiness and all of these things, and it actually took time to develop a couple of characters in her stories which often these type of movies don't do.
Speaker 1:I thought Florence Pugh did an exceptional job. I like her a lot. I understand she's been in a lot of shit. I haven't seen most of those movies, so this is the first time I'm really seeing her and she's great.
Speaker 4:Muffy's a big fan.
Speaker 1:No, no, I liked her a lot. One thing bothered me, though. This music is doing my head in.
Speaker 4:What music?
Speaker 1:Movie music is doing my head in Okay it is so nakedly cues to tell me how to feel about a certain scene oh, right, okay. Oh, this is a triumphant scene, because the hero's showing up on the motorcycle and you should feel this way about it because of these trumpets that are playing. Or, oh, this is a sad scene now you know why? Because these violins are playing in a minor key.
Speaker 4:But movie soundtracks have done that since the beginning of the golden picture age or golden age of pictures, or whatever it's called.
Speaker 1:It's too much. Listen, I am part of the generation that has really rebelled against being marketed to right Gen X, just hates being marketed to, hates being manipulated, hates being told what to do. And I cannot, cannot deal with trying to pay attention to what's happening in this movie and then also now hearing this. You know the tinkle of this bell, meaning that I need to be excited or whatever. Don't do that.
Speaker 1:Don't do that. I'm more intelligent than that. I can just follow along what's happening with the moving pictures and the dialogue. I don't need to be baby fed my emotions with this music as well, and I will tell you, music absolutely is an emotional trigger for me it is. There are some songs that I still cannot listen to, like the Queen song. I don't know if you've heard of it. Who Wants to Live Forever, do you?
Speaker 4:know this song.
Speaker 1:It was in the Highlander soundtrack. Okay, exceptional music. I'll play it for you um. You know this song cats in the fucking cradle. Yes, I cannot listen to that song. I still can't listen to that song? Yeah, that's music does affect me emotionally, so therefore don't try to manipulate me with it. Don't do it.
Speaker 4:Don't do it so do you just want silent silence, sometimes talking, talking, talking yes, because you know what.
Speaker 1:That's what happens in real life can you imagine can you imagine people carrying around their phones, right, and you know they want to make a particularly stirring uh speech, like in front of a boardroom, and they start to play like the indiana jones?
Speaker 4:theme music. My high school football team used to walk out onto the field to the imperial march well, sure, I mean, then I mean, but they, never won, so it was a little bit Well, yeah, but at the end of the day neither did the Empire and another thing.
Speaker 1:I get it. You want to inject humor. But I am so very much over the Seinfeldization of the MCU and all these other franchises where everything is a quip, everything is a clever banter and oh, isn't that fun. They're fighting for their lives. But you know I'm going to sit here and say something cute and funny. Don't like that, not necessary, don't do that. Like I can watch the superhero movies, you know I like them. Show me one that's like with realistic dialogue, right, things happen that are kind of naturalistic, like Thor is fighting the thing and all of a sudden he burps. You never see that that's not right. Or like stubs his toe or something paper cut, it happens. Or, god forbid. Like they stumble on their words none of these fuckers stumble on their words.
Speaker 1:I'm stumbling. You're listening to this podcast right now. You understand that even me, who's done five years of podcasting, still my my tongue trick trips me up. Right. See, right, there it happened again, like that's just a natural way of speaking and I prefer that. You know who I like.
Speaker 1:I like the writing of david mamet now he turned out not to be a a great guy, great writer, great naturalistic writer. You ever watch glenn gary, glenn ross, this movie you should watch that. All the different little little hiccups and all the little stumbles of that's all written. You know that. That's all written in there. It's like music, it's like naturalistic music. It's like the symphony of the garbage pail. It's like a New York street scene. It's great and I love it. That's the kind of dialogue I think is interesting. You done Well. I want to hear what you have to say about this. Don't give me. You done.
Speaker 4:I'm happy with the suspending my disbelief, and this is a world in which the music swells and the people don't paper cut themselves or stub their toes and they don't trip over their language. I'm fine with that. So we're allowed to have different opinions. I was just wondering how long you were going to go on that rant.
Speaker 1:I can go further, but the damn dog is making noise.
Speaker 4:Well, it's because it's his dinner time and he's on about. He knows he's got an internal clock and he knows it's time. So I'm not going to look directly at him and that might help.
Speaker 1:Did you all see Thunderbolts? Did you like it? Write in FamiliarWilson's at gmailcom, Because it was Amanda's birthday. We couldn't prepare what are you laughing at? I'm laughing at what I'm about to say. We couldn't prepare as much for the podcast.
Speaker 4:We never prepare for the podcast. What's wrong with you?
Speaker 1:But I want to play a portion from another podcast that we have done.
Speaker 1:We haven't released an episode in a while, but I think that it might be one that you'd be interested in hearing. So this is a part of our podcast Unscrew it Up, where we talk about unscrewing up marriage, and it's really just about that. In this particular episode, we talk about how to make marriage better. So do enjoy. Ladies and gentlemen. The Wilsons will now unscrew it up. Ladies and gentlemen, the Wilsons will now unscrew it up, and now it's time for the Wilsons to unscrew up marriage.
Speaker 4:We have had some practice.
Speaker 1:How long have we been married?
Speaker 4:We have been married for nine years.
Speaker 1:That's right Together for 10.
Speaker 4:But we also I mean previously have been married before in our lifetimes, so we've done it not well once, and I mean almost a decade into doing it well at least I think, unless this is the episode in which you tell me you're not happy.
Speaker 1:Well, no, we just started a new podcast, so clearly we're staying together for longer. I mean that's, this is a lot of work.
Speaker 4:I mean, if you give the dog a selfie stick, he might be able to co-host.
Speaker 1:If you give a dog a selfie stick, isn't?
Speaker 4:that like, that's like a mouse and muffin, so three common problems in marriage, communication, family and money Yep.
Speaker 1:So you kind of are on the same wavelength I think we do pretty good with most of those.
Speaker 4:I think we do well with money because we have our own bank accounts.
Speaker 1:This is something that I highly recommend.
Speaker 4:Same. This is not something I did before and it is something that you and I went into this saying we'll split everything, but we're going to keep our own accounts, and let me tell you, I think that that's been a good decision.
Speaker 1:Well, that was a little bit of serious advice there.
Speaker 4:It's okay.
Speaker 1:Let's get back to the wackiness. So we are coming up with solutions to some common problems in marriage. As we do every week, we each come up with a certain number of problems.
Speaker 4:I think last week I had seven or something ridiculous.
Speaker 1:We narrow those down to five and then we forward them on to a council or a person sometimes, or an organization, so that that organization or person can take our solutions and make them real.
Speaker 4:So who's unscrewing up marriage for us?
Speaker 1:We're going to send this to the milk board, the national milk board.
Speaker 4:They're okay. Do they not have anything else going on right now?
Speaker 1:Milk is kind of what it is. There's nothing that you're going to innovate about milk. Milk is done Right now. They're just caretakers. They're just sitting around like the Maytag repairman. Wow, Wow.
Speaker 4:You made fun of my Laverne and Shirley Laverne and Shirley Jeez.
Speaker 1:So how many do you have? I have four. Okay, I have four as well, so why don't you go first?
Speaker 4:What are the main problems in a marriage? It would be communication, dealing with kids and or family dealing with household things, right, and then money. So I'm here for the household things. First, separate bathrooms. Now we already have the separate closets down. At our last house we shared a closet, but you were toward the back of the closet so I didn't have to move towards your things. A closet, but you were toward the back of the closet so I didn't have to move towards your things. We have separate closets now and that's lovely. And I'm not saying that I want to not be in the same room with you at nighttime, but you know how they have the Jack and Jill bedrooms with the bathroom in the middle.
Speaker 1:No, I've never heard of that.
Speaker 4:I think it's meant for kids, but it's a bedroom with a shared bathroom in the middle and then another bedroom.
Speaker 1:Oh, this isn't meant for married couples.
Speaker 4:No, no, no, no this is a thing in house design called a Jack and Jill bedroom.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 4:Okay, I am proposing the married version of that, which is, the bathrooms on either side and then a shared bedroom. Why are you rubbing your head?
Speaker 1:I don't think Is there a problem. Okay, so.
Speaker 4:Yes, there is a problem with sharing a bathroom. Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1:I think that what we need to do now just for our own sanity this is not a therapy podcast. We are not trying to solve our own marriage Because I happen to think that I'm a delightful bathroom mate.
Speaker 4:Except that you take my towels off of my rack, where I keep them nicely, and you throw them over the shower and you throw them on the ground. Sometimes you steal my toothbrush and I have to go looking for my toothbrush and the clothes don't make it into the hamper. We talked about this last week. So I'm saying for my own sanity, and probably our friend Kay should look into this as well. Separate bathrooms.
Speaker 1:This episode is such a bad idea.
Speaker 4:This was your idea, friend.
Speaker 1:It was All right, so separate bathrooms.
Speaker 4:All right, immediately. You don't think this is necessary.
Speaker 1:I don't, but clearly that's the problem, because I'm a lovely bathroom dweller.
Speaker 4:The only thing we've established is that I have too many products.
Speaker 1:Yes, Okay, separate bathrooms. I've gone in a different direction. You know how there are marriage licenses.
Speaker 4:Yes, we have one.
Speaker 1:Yes, anyone can get a marriage license, easiest thing to get.
Speaker 4:Can you now?
Speaker 1:There's not much to it, right? You have to pay money and send it away and have somebody sign it Useless, don't know what it's for. I think it's just so that the government can take money from you, right?
Speaker 4:Here's another thing we need to fix sidebar. It's not a thing for you because you don't have to change your name. If you choose to change your name, then you have to have the marriage license or marriage certificate or whatever. I have had to have it to send to credit card companies and things like that to prove my new last name.
Speaker 1:You didn't have to change your name. I don't demand that of anyone.
Speaker 4:Said the man who said I would really love to share a last name with you.
Speaker 1:I know, but it could have been like Smith or Then we would both share a last name with you.
Speaker 4:I know, but it could have been like Smith or you know, that doesn't matter to me. Okay, and screw it up with the Smiths.
Speaker 1:Go ahead. I think that that should be, then, a new solution. I didn't even think of that, but we're going to put that down. Like you have to pick a new name, right, you're both kind of leaving your families and making a new family, yeah, and so you have to then pick, like a new name for your family. It's like founding a new country, right, okay. Or like naming a baby even if you name it your name, you're going to call it junior or whatever. So you have to. This is a new thing. I'm putting this in here as a thing is like you have to choose, because I do know that sometimes that is an issue where, like, someone doesn't want to give up their name, and usually it is. If you're going with traditional roles, the man kind of expects that, which I don't think that you should have to do.
Speaker 4:So you have to pick a new name, so that but I have a question though Is it like the game of Boggle, where it's like you have to take the letters from your names? That is freaking brilliant. Yes, no, absolutely. And then you have to create. It's like Scrabble, yes, or Boggle, yes.
Speaker 1:So married name Boggle. Yes, I love that solution. We just came up with that, both of us together, that's because we're married. Married name Boggle, and so what would ours have been it?
Speaker 4:would have been Wilson, and because that's my Willie Milligan no we're just saying Willie Milligan is not our last name.
Speaker 1:Willie Milliganson Willie.
Speaker 4:Milliganson, I'm not saying you have to use all of the letters.
Speaker 1:Willie Milliganson is like. I'll bet you that we would be the only. Willie Milligansons in the world. No dude, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4:No, can you imagine in a waiting room they come out, mrs? No, can you imagine in a waiting room they come out, mrs Willie Milligan? I can't even say it. I can't even say it. Willie Milliganson, no, oh.
Speaker 1:God, okay, our son would have to be called Sven.
Speaker 1:Whose turn is it? Okay, so marriage license anyway. So I think that the marriage license should be more like a driver's license. You have a test, you have to renew it, you've got a written test and you've got like the practical, and then when you pass all those, then you're allowed to get married. So many problems would be solved, so many issues would be avoided, if you know like you take the test and they come back and say sir, you did a great job, except for you failed the section on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 4:Go back study and then you can take the test again. But I also think then you now have to renew it, like every five years or 10 years or whatever. Like the driver's license, you have to get it renewed. So it's the same thing you gotta get your license renewed. This is a good idea. What you've had.
Speaker 1:Yes, so marriage license like driver's license. All right, what's yours?
Speaker 4:Well, so mine was along that lines of how difficult it is as a female traditionally from this role getting married and all the things you have to change and you have to update because you have to go to the social security office and you have to do all these things. You know how, when you buy a new phone and they say, here, give us your old phone and we're going to put it next to the new phone, and then it just downloads all of your contacts and has all your apps and everything we need whatever version of that is for getting married you just stand next to the other person and then all the things are done. Your name's changed everywhere. You're making a face at me. This is not my problem. This is the milkboard's problem. They have to figure out how to do it. Whatever voodoo they do to switch me from one phone to the other is what needs to happen when you get married and you have to merge all of your things.
Speaker 1:So you stand next to me and then what's being uploaded into what no?
Speaker 4:it's not you and I need to stand next to, like the. I don't know what I need to stand next to. Maybe my phone needs to go be next to something, I don't know, but I need an easier way of assuming a new identity. I just mean to sound like witness protection.
Speaker 1:I know, I'm not even sure how to write this down. I don't know what it is we just proposed.
Speaker 4:All right, fine, this could be the one you kick off. Go ahead, what's your next one?
Speaker 1:But I get it. It's like just to make the process easier by you standing next to me and then I'm uploading all my information and I'm overriding your personality and your identity. Yes, that's not Stepford at all. Go ahead, all right. Next one You've already kind of said this, but I'm just putting it in a different way Yearly performance reviews. So how we kind of do it where I work is that every year you go in and you're rated on a one to five scale right yeah, nope. No.
Speaker 4:Not doing numbers? Go ahead Not doing numbers, well. Doing numbers well, whatever. No, just do your thing meets expectations exceeds expectations, you know whatever right not meeting, not meeting approaching approach.
Speaker 1:That's right. You go in and and we get performance evaluations right, and then every year also, we set our, our annual goals for the next year. And then expectations are clear. We have to. You know you measure them by metrics. Oh, you didn't put your clothes in the hamper. 56% of the time You're not approaching expectations. Performance reviews.
Speaker 4:Okay, I'm here for this, but as long as you're getting them and I'm not, no.
Speaker 1:Oh see, that's where this falls down.
Speaker 4:See, I like it better. The way we do it at my work is we don't do annual, we do quarterly. So I feel like that's more of a check-in right. It's not like your whole year is going by and then you're hearing about the 56% or whatever. And we also don't do a rate on a scale of one to five. It's not a Likert scale, it where good performance can be elevated, and then goals for the next quarter. So we're coming from a strength-based approach, not coming from a deficit approach. So, instead of 56% of the time you did not get your clothes in the hamper, it's, hey, 44% of the time. That's the right math. Right, 44% of the time you got your clothes in their hamper. So let's set a goal for this next quarter. What could that be? See, I try to do this with you, where I do the positive reinforcement and I say things like thank you for taking the trash out, before you take the trash out, and it really angers you.
Speaker 1:I do not like that. I don't like that. Don't thank me for something before I do it, because then it just feels manipulative a little bit. It is Exactly that's the point of it. The reason why I like the idea of the performance review is that two weeks before the review, then you're like you know, you have a chance to kind of make it up.
Speaker 4:Oh God, my review is coming.
Speaker 1:Yearly performance or quarterly, whatever Performance reviews Bam.
Speaker 4:So here's the thing we also do at my work, because I work for a large institution If you're applying for a job within somewhere else within the institution, you can pull people's so, like if you were on a hiring committee and they were coming from within the institution, you can pull their employee performance evaluations and review them as a hiring committee from the current job that they're in. So we could employ this. Should you start looking elsewhere, people could pull your performance reviews interested suitors, whatever.
Speaker 1:Well see, that's very interesting. We're putting this in your permanent file, that's right.
Speaker 4:Should you decide you don't want to be here anymore, but other people will know how many towels you put in the hamper.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's what social media is for we already have that, that's totally true. All right, whose turn is it?
Speaker 4:Yours. I think it's my turn, okay, so my next one is mandatory carving out time to be alone, because we all know if you have the children, they drain you and wait, you mean alone together or alone by yourself?
Speaker 4:no, no alone together. We had a really lovely experience when we first started dating because we both had younger kids. So a couple nights a week the kids would be at their other parents house and we would have these built in date nights. Then we got married and then we had this other child and no one takes him.
Speaker 1:He just lives here all of the time okay, so what you're, what you're proposing, is mandatory date nights great no, I'm not.
Speaker 4:I'm not done no, no. Mandatory date nights. We do those, but no, I mean like actual time where you don't have to take care of anybody else and even if you don't have kids, there is still like the stress of work or money or dogs or whatever. There should be like mandatory little getaways.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it's like when you take your car in for um annual maintenance or for, for whatever you take your car into the garage, and no one's using that car while it's getting worked on right, so marriage maintenance there you go marriage maintenance checklist there you go up six months been married six months gotta go for. Go away for a week up 10 years gotta go away for. For 10 days a month 10 years gotta go away for 10 days A month. For a month yeah, no, I like that.
Speaker 4:I like it too.
Speaker 1:All right, good. So I did mention that family is a problem in some marriages, even starting before the marriage.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 1:There always seems to be family drama around weddings right. There's gotta be a way knowing that this is so that we can mitigate. One of the problems seems to always be that there are certain members of the family who think that they're more important than other members of the family or that they should get more consideration, and oftentimes the last people who are deciding that that's so is the couple.
Speaker 4:That's correct.
Speaker 1:I say that you have family draft picks.
Speaker 4:All right, go ahead.
Speaker 1:Each partner gets a certain number of picks, right? And then you're trying to fill certain spots, and these spots are determined by the couple of levels of influence, right? And so we're going to listen to these two people the most. They're going to kind of be the most important people in our family, to us. You have your draft, and the difference here is that you're picking for the same team.
Speaker 4:Right, right right.
Speaker 1:But what you're doing is you are setting the levels of expectation. Now this is going to be something that's going to be built in, so families know that. Oh, this is part of the deal.
Speaker 4:Right, they can't get mad about it.
Speaker 1:Right, they can't get mad about it. Okay, so you're the one that we're always going to call when we need help with this or that, or you're always going to get the first call to be invited to this thing, or that thing or whenever there's something to be told to everyone else, we're going to tell this person that's their job to go. Do that, set levels of expectation and do it with a draft pick.
Speaker 4:I like it. Now, you and I have not really had this issue because in our house the children run the draft, they run the teams, they run all of the organizations.
Speaker 1:So I don't know that they would be here for the draft. No, but see, here's a different wrinkle then was what I didn't mention trades.
Speaker 4:Because I'm telling you right now, the six-year-old thinks he's the GM and he runs everything.
Speaker 1:Right, but what if we could trade him for like two older, more responsible children and some cash considerations? There you go.
Speaker 4:All right, no, good luck, good luck. Six-year-old, you're a free agent, all right? Well, here's my last one and we've touched on it the things that we argue about that. If we don't argue about money, but people argue about money we do argue about the house right, mainly me getting stressed about stuff and people argue about, you know, like, cleaning things and cooking things, and these are the things that are stressful, and I am willing to wager that there is a societal investment in marriages succeeding, whatever structure your marriage is, I mean, it doesn't have to be traditional marriage.
Speaker 1:whatever structure your marriage is, I mean it doesn't have to be traditional marriage, whatever your marriage is. I hope you're going the direction. I think that you're going, because I'm here for it.
Speaker 4:So there is a societal investment into marriages succeeding. So therefore, I feel like these things that could cause a marriage to fold, society has an obligation to support the health of that marriage by providing housekeeping services, personal chef services, babysitting services, financial services. Do my taxes and my budgeting so that we don't have anything to argue about.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 4:That's not where you wanted me to go. Where did you want me to go?
Speaker 1:Let me get this straight. So society would pay for housekeeping tax preparing.
Speaker 4:Financial advisement, child care, housekeeping and meal prep and, oh oh, homework that causes stress too.
Speaker 1:So basically you're saying that anything that causes stress within a marriage, someone else should take care of it? And society should pay for it. Yeah, Okay, I think there's a certain segment of our audience that we may have just turned off.
Speaker 4:Who.
Speaker 1:Because they don't believe in that form of sharing. Listen, I'm there for it. I was going to say that society should be invested in strong, healthy marriages. When marriages aren't healthy, it affects the children. So what I was thinking is that, since society should be so invested in successful marriages that well, what if? Let's meld some ideas here, what if we turn in our performance reviews to an organization that takes care of this and then we get cash rewards? We get bonuses, yearly bonuses, based on our performance reviews.
Speaker 4:Okay, all right, I just want somebody to come clean my house. I just that's all I want.
Speaker 1:Yes, but that all ties together. Now you're talking about your mandatory time off um pto. That would be our pto there you go, so we parents should have pto and sick leave.
Speaker 4:No, you're saying parents, but married people. You don't have to have children. I'm married.
Speaker 1:listen, I'm just thinking about myself, and so we have a lot of things here, all right, and we got to try to narrow it down to five and maybe combine some of these things. We have separate bathrooms, okay. We have choosing a new name using Boggle. We have marriage license, more like driver's license. We have some sort of weird app that you airplay your identity onto the other person.
Speaker 4:No, out to the world. It changes my name with the credit cards and all the things we have yearly performance reviews.
Speaker 1:Mandatory pto and sick leave for married people from life is what you're saying just from life?
Speaker 4:yes, you get to. Just because, even when, when all of us were sick and we had covid, we still had to take care of the six-year-old, who didn't get sick yeah, but see, that's for parents. Now we're just, we're kind of mixing these but that's fine, that's fine, we can do that. We're speaking to our lived experience family draft picks right.
Speaker 1:Family draft uh society providing housekeepers, tax prep, personal coach, child care and tutoring.
Speaker 4:I can't even these are all of my needs, all that's right, all of my needs right now this podcast has turned into a very Amanda-centric thing.
Speaker 1:That's right. And then cash rewards for successful marriages, yearly bonuses based on our performance reviews what are we getting rid of, can we you?
Speaker 4:can get rid of my weird app.
Speaker 1:I just don't understand it.
Speaker 4:That's fine. I wasn't fully thought out. I just knew that my problem was. It's really hard to change your name we still have like eight left okay, I'm, I want my vacations and I want people to take the children okay, so we're the uh, the pto and sick leave for so that's one we're keeping, that we are keeping the I'm really here for the boggle names, just because it entertains me.
Speaker 4:And imagine it wouldn't be like there would not be like, oh you're, you know your kid's in a class with Forrest Smith. I mean, very few people would have the same last name.
Speaker 1:That's true. I mean, there's gonna be no more Milla Willigansons.
Speaker 4:Willie Milliganson. Willie Milliganson. No one else is going to find this funny. It's a joke, just for us.
Speaker 1:Can we please keep the family draft picks.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 1:All right, so we have two more. I think it's very important to have the marriage license be a little bit more exhaustive.
Speaker 4:Okay. Do you want to tie the performance reviews up in that for your renewal of your marriage license? Sure, okay, and then which one of these is going to get me somebody to come clean this house?
Speaker 1:Either a yearly bonus or society pays for all these people to attend to us. You're going to want to keep that, so we're going to do that, all right, so this is what marriage will look like from now on. First of all, we're going to go through an exhaustive marriage license process. This is probably a class that we have to take over several weeks and a course that we need to navigate as we role play different marriage things, to learn how to handle them. And then we take a written test and a practical test.
Speaker 4:Doesn't the state of Florida require counseling? Why are you making this face at me?
Speaker 1:because I did, because I didn't do that clearly you missed the towel lecture before you get married you do the family draft picks and then you get married and you choose your new name that's right willie, milligan son. And then you get your your mandatory married slash, parent pto and sick leave time where you just get to go be by yourself with your spouse.
Speaker 1:Maybe your solution is traveling alone, separate vacations and then society will provide you with a housekeeper, someone to do tax preparation, a and someone to offer child care and your personal. In other words, society is going to provide everyone with Jeffrey from the Fresh Prince.
Speaker 4:I want Jeffrey from the Fresh Prince. Will he drive the children around too? I need a chauffeur. Is that in there? Okay, thanks.
Speaker 1:All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more Happy birthday Thank you, there is no more Happy birthday.
Speaker 4:Thank you, it is my birthday week.
Speaker 1:And if anyone wants to send Amanda some birthday wishes, some wise or not so wise advice, because, as you can tell the pool that we have to choose from, then send it to familiarwilsons at gmailcom Before we go. There's a whole list of people who make this podcast go.
Speaker 1:It's not just us. It's those little people behind the scenes that are cranking the gears and pushing the buttons, and so thank you to Matt, our lead conveyor belt strategist, to Antonio, our quality control whisperer, josh Scar, the sock historian, danny Buckets, the moisture calibration technician, chicken Tom, the egg guy, leo, night shift floor person. Monique from Germany. Director of the loom symphony coordination. Joey refined gay, Jeff, the color palette designer, seasonal division, Mark and Rachel their HR and Dan and Gavin, they make our shipping labels.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's an appropriate task.
Speaker 1:So until next week, you all take care of each other. Send Amanda some wisdom and go out there and make a better tomorrow.
Speaker 4:There's a great, big, beautiful tomorrow. Do you know this? It's the new song in the Carousel of Progress.
Speaker 1:Are you kidding? That's a Disney property. That's a Disney property. What are you?
Speaker 4:doing right now. Does anybody listening remember when it used to be? Now is the time. Now is the time. Now is the best time of your life, and it was like that because it was like that radio, like shaking thing from the 20s.
Speaker 1:There's not enough money in this town to pay off Disney for what you've just done.
Speaker 4:All right, well, anyway, have a great week, go be kind, bye, bye. Thank you. Outro Music
