Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Marriage 2.0 with kids…and all the side quests!
Super Familiar with the Wilsons is a weekly comedy podcast about second marriage blended family life, and the beautiful chaos of parenting, aging, and figuring it all out (again). Hosted by Amanda and Josh, partners in life, love, and side quests, each episode dives into real-life stories, quirky observations, listener emails, and spontaneous tangents that somehow always circle back to relationships, resilience, and the absurdity of modern life.
Whether you’re navigating your own second act, raising kids who don’t want your help, or just wondering why birds seem to aim for your head, you’ll find humor, honesty, and heart here. Expect: offbeat storytelling, second-marriage dynamics, parenting fails, philosophical detours, and new friends you didn’t know you needed.
Familiar Wilsons Media produces content to bring people together. We are curious, hopeful, and try not to take ourselves too seriously...admittedly, with varying degrees of success.
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
The Curious Case of Dr. Dave and the Tao of Letting Go
This week on Super Familiar with the Wilsons, Josh finds inner peace through matcha, Amanda recounts a terrifying ER visit and both hosts navigate existential dread,
Also, HOA beef, pediatric sleep regression, and questionable doctor fashion choices.
Plus: Josh wants a sundress, Amanda gets approached by a Navy man at Publix, and refined gay thoughts make a triumphant return.
It's an episode about family, mortality, and whether your doctor should look like a frat bro.
(Featuring real medical scares, fake medical credentials, and a sprinkle of Taoism.)
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the story. You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down. The following podcast uses words like and and also If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. Three, two, one run. I'm super familiar with you, Wilson, Get it.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1:And I'm Josh Amanda. I have a new regime, a new thing that I'm trying, and I saw an interesting result from it just now have we talked about my matcha?
Speaker 2:thing? I don't think so.
Speaker 1:Matcha is supposed to be like this magic thing, right? This, this magic powder that you put and you make tea out of, and it's got all of these health benefits and a lot of people use it as a substitute for coffee, right Cause it has caffeine.
Speaker 1:Well, I've been looking for a substitute for coffee because I drink, or have drank, drunk, a lot of coffee and it gets me. It helps me focus at work, but it gets me really, really agitated when it's at its height and then I kind of have that crash. So I was reading that matcha doesn't give you that. It has caffeine, but it gives you a nice steady caffeine effect for like the rest of the day. I got some and it is delivering as promised, but there's also another effect. Another consequence is that I feel like a low level euphoria right throughout the day.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:And it lasts like it's still with me right now.
Speaker 2:That's kind of lovely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I had a little bit of a personality change.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:We are in a little disagreement with our homeowners association right now and we shan't get into it for reasons, but one of them just drove by Normally, and naturally I'm pretty confrontation averse.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, you are.
Speaker 1:You are the bulldog in the family.
Speaker 2:Yes, but not right now.
Speaker 1:But not right now, but today, as the gentleman was driving by in his branded golf cart good thing they can afford those at least I looked straight at him, gave him a big smile and a big wave and he clearly is aware of, like the things that are going on dispute.
Speaker 2:He just looked at me with so confused and he waved back I know I was so amazed because I was out across like a couple streets from you, but I saw him wave. I didn't see you and we. We should clarify that our homeowners association is not owned by the people who live here no, no, no, but I mean, we're not gonna get into it, we're not gonna get into it, but I don't want people thinking that we are disputing with our neighbors and being rude to our neighbors.
Speaker 2:It's run by a management company, our neighbors, we're not fighting with. But I saw him wave and I thought, damn, like that's ballsy. But then I came over.
Speaker 1:You were like, well, what if he gave you stink eye or whatever? And my response is I wish he would.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm a little worried because they know that we tattled on them and I'm waiting for some sort of retaliation. That's enough.
Speaker 1:That's too much. You probably already said too much. We got to leave that alone.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Just saying that this matcha has really has an effect on me. Apparently, I really has an effect on me. Apparently, I need matcha and I don't know if it's good or if it's bad, but what is matcha made out of? Matcha.
Speaker 2:What is matcha?
Speaker 1:I didn't do the research, I didn't care.
Speaker 2:Is it a root? Is it a leaf? What is it?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I think it's a leaf.
Speaker 2:Okay, muffy loves matcha lattes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't. I think matcha, everything that I see when people add matcha to things on the baking show it tastes like grass is what the people say.
Speaker 1:Matcha is a finely ground powder of green tea, specially processed from shade grown tea leaves.
Speaker 2:Okay, so it's green tea.
Speaker 1:Yes, I understand that one of the differences is that, because it's a powder, it's not something that you steep, you put and you mix the powder in and then you actually consume the powder as well. So it's not something that you steep, you put and you mix the powder in and then you actually consume the powder as well.
Speaker 1:so it's not just like so, it's a lot stronger, it's not just like regular tea anyway, it doesn't matter I don't mind grass, all right, and the last couple weeks the wilsons have really been through it we all need matcha we need matcha.
Speaker 1:It's a good thing, because if I didn't have matcha in my life right now, I'd be in a piss poor mood. As it is, I'm doing all right. Here's a bit of a trigger warning. We're about to talk about a trip to the ER that Muffy made and, yeah, we at one point wasn't sure she was going to make it, and so there's your trigger warning. Amanda, paint the picture and I may ask you questions as you go through, because for the beginning part of this I wasn't there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I wasn't there either. That's the thing. So a little bit of background. Muffy is allergic to sesame and tree nuts. So for the people who don't know, that's almonds, cashews, walnuts, any nut that grows on a tree weirdly, except for a coconut almonds, cashews, walnuts, any nut that grows on a tree weirdly, except for a coconut. And she knows, like she does really well with the food choices that she makes and we had never had an anaphylactic reaction. Then a couple years ago she had an anaphylactic reaction to sesame.
Speaker 2:I had bought some pumpkin biscuit Trader Joe's didn't even think to look at it and the first second ingredient was tahini. So after one bite she started throwing up. Her mouth felt funny, she was getting hives. We tried Benadryl. It wasn't working. So I took her to the ER that's close to us. We basically live in the parking lot of an ER that's right outside our neighborhood. Before I ever got to sign the papers they had already given her the epinephrine shot. I learned from that trip that anaphylactic is not necessarily that your throat closes up. It is three or more body systems engaged.
Speaker 1:Please note that the Wilsons are not medical professionals, nor do we profess to be. Always consult your doctor when you need any sort of important shit figured out.
Speaker 2:Or chat GPT, as I've been diagnosing myself this week. Yeah, by the way.
Speaker 1:Amanda's got this sore throat and I'm like you need to go to the doctor, and her response is I took a picture of my throat and sent it to chat GPT and I'll be okay.
Speaker 2:No, I just sent you the screenshots from chat GPT. I didn't explain any of that to you.
Speaker 1:Listeners, is this how it should go? Is this how it should go? Is this have we given up?
Speaker 2:Have we given up Chat? Gpt said I'll be fine. They just told me to rest my voice, which I'm so glad we're doing this now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very good.
Speaker 2:Anyway, you can get. You know, gastric skin, respiratory, whatever Three or more body systems engaged is an anaphylactic reaction. So we got an epidural.
Speaker 1:No was not an epidural man.
Speaker 2:that's a hell of a thing that was a different ER visit.
Speaker 1:She got an epinephrine shot. Wait with her, no with me.
Speaker 2:So she got an epinephrine shot. We stayed there for like four hours, came home fine. That was three years ago and she doesn't really care her epi, because she's very, very good about what she eats. I was home working last Friday or Friday was a week ago, I guess and I was home with Winthrop because we are in that lull between when camp is over and when school starts, and so I'm home, Otherwise known as the sixth circle of hell yeah right and because it is our temperature, is the surface of the sun hell that I can't take him outside and do things Like we are stuck inside.
Speaker 1:Are you having like a weird flashback to the pandemic to lock down with?
Speaker 2:yeah, he was so much tinier, he was three oh yeah and it what.
Speaker 2:He wasn't as addicted to a screen as he has right now. Um, although we did much better today, but that's a different story. I'll tell you that later. We're talking about the er trip. Uh, she took my car. She was at work and I get a phone call from her around lunchtime and she said I'm having an allergic reaction and you should come pick me up. I said okay, but you have my car, I can't come get you. So I called you, can you go get her? You dropped everything, you went to get her, but in the process of you going to get her and it's like what a 20 minute trip from your office, something like that Her throat started swelling up and so she was saying I'll be okay, I'll be okay, I'll be okay. And I said, no, we're gonna, we're gonna call EMS, and so I called 9-1-1. I was on the phone with them and on FaceTime with her on my computer. They got to her in maybe two, three minutes. I watched them load her into the ambulance.
Speaker 1:Everybody that was at my office was amazing wait a second so you were on FaceTime with her. They grab her, load her in the ambulance and she's holding the phone. They were talking to me through her phone, oh okay, I'm imagining like that's some influencer shit right there like all that's happening, but also she's still doing the video self.
Speaker 2:She wasn't really talking, they got her in they gave her an epinephrine shot.
Speaker 1:They took the phone, they gave her oxygen no, it was laying in her lap but, I said where are you taking her?
Speaker 2:and they responded to me, so I was having a conversation with them, okay.
Speaker 1:Um, it was very, very such a weird world that we live in so they transported her to the er.
Speaker 2:You said I called you. You said I'm gonna come get you in winthrop. I had to go out and tell him. I said something really scary happened, but it's gonna be okay. So I told him. He immediately ran upstairs and got dressed and went and stood by the front door and was ready to go. I mean, he understood his assignment right then and we got to the ER. You couldn't find a place to park so I went in.
Speaker 1:It's pretty bad when you go to the ER and you're screwed because you can't park.
Speaker 2:Well, they have a valet service but nobody came right Like nobody was working the valet.
Speaker 1:I sent you all in and I was like the fourth car deep waiting for valet and they just never showed up. So I'm just like, well, screw this. I ended up taking Winthrop to our mutual friend's house because she has kids and she was able to watch him. Then I went back to the ER.
Speaker 2:So I walk into the ER. First of all, there are people just lining the hallways and beds, like there are clearly no rooms. There are people with like like broken limbs people.
Speaker 1:I mean it was a sight, a guy came in did you feel like it was like the medical equivalent of jerusalem? On on christmas eve what? No room.
Speaker 2:No room at the I was like what are you talking about? A guy came in, he on a stretcher, he clearly had committed some sort of crime because they were armed policemen all around him. Oh, no, shit, you didn't tell me that. Yeah, no, I forgot to tell you. And they were, he like armed policemen around him.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:That was a thing. So I'm really glad that you didn't find parking, because Winthrop did not need to be in the ER, or he would have been super into it. Maybe he'll go to med school. He would have gone to med school if he ruined those chances.
Speaker 1:No, I'm just saying that he likes to watch the videos on YouTube. That's true.
Speaker 2:So Muffy is okay. Let's just say that because clearly she is. But she needed two doses of epinephrine and we found out what it was is that she bought a cheesecake at a vegan bakery. The cheesecake was a matcha strawberry cheesecake. Typically, things will say, like you know, banana bread with walnuts, and she goes off of that. Well, cashews are um. Cashew flour is a prominent ingredient in vegan bakery. She's somehow baking, she somehow managed to avoid it, but there was cashew flour in a prominent ingredient in vegan bakery.
Speaker 2:She's somehow baking, she somehow managed to avoid it, but there was cashew flour in the crust and the ingredients weren't listed Now, not the fault of the bakery, and I've communicated with them and they were really great. They said our ingredients are always available, please ask. But I just wish people would go ahead and list ingredients. It would make things so much easier for people with allergens. And so she had one bite and went into anaphylactic shock, and had we not have called EMS, it would have been a very different outcome. Her body gave her enough time like three minutes for the ambulance to get there. She shall never be parted from her EpiPen, ever again.
Speaker 2:We now have four of them in the house and they're going. She's going to the dorm in a week and a half. We've had lots of major conversations. She looked at me the next day and said I could have died, and we said, yes, you could have. And so she now understands she has to ask for ingredients. She thinks that she didn't like it, thought it was embarrassing, but she has to ask. So we're in the ER, I get there and she's okay. But then I watched a rash start at her feet and climb up her body and she was it started at her feet?
Speaker 1:I thought it started at her face.
Speaker 2:No, well, I noticed it on her legs first, so I don't know where it started, but, and she was just.
Speaker 1:It's like one of those pictures on one of those drinks you pour a hot liquid in it and it goes from the bottom to the top and she was just clawing at her skin.
Speaker 2:I mean she was kind of losing it and the nurse and I had to take her. She was in jeans and her legs were swelling up so much that her jeans were hurting her and it took both of us to get her jeans off of her, and that was after a dose of epinephrine.
Speaker 2:So they wound up giving her another dose. They did an EKG, they did a chest x-ray. She had low potassium, so she was having some heart issues and it was really severe. We were there for, I think, about seven or eight hours seven hours, and we were maybe going to stay overnight.
Speaker 1:Can we stop here and talk about the attending doctor?
Speaker 2:Well, that's yes. The guy who said we were going to stay overnight Can we stop here and talk about the attending doctor.
Speaker 1:Well, that's, yes, the guy who said we were going to stay overnight. So at this point, dear listeners, I had gotten back and we are sitting there and the attending doctor came in. Now, I know that he was the attending doctor because he identified himself as such that he was the attending doctor, because he identified himself as such. Now, that's the only way that I would have known that he was the attending doctor, because he very easily could have been a frat boy who was admitted the night before for alcohol poisoning.
Speaker 1:Was lost and was lost and wandered in because he came in. His t-shirt was just a little too short. His pants were hiked down a little bit so that we could see his boxers. Oh yes, and I don't know if he had flip-flops on, I would not have been surprised I mean you've heard of House MD. He was.
Speaker 2:Animal House MD okay.
Speaker 1:This is Dr Sloth. So he comes in and he's like yeah, so I'm Dr Dave, not his real name, I'm Dr Dave and I'm the attending, and so I just needed to come in here and talk to you. I was just like what is happening right now?
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:It was so otherworldly, it was so. Like you know, we don't talk politics on this show but and oftentimes I've compared what's happening right now in the United States to that movie Idiocracy, and that could have been a scene out of that where, just like a total moron is now, oh, you get to be a doctor because you know you got to this level on the game of life or something, and I was really trying to think does what one wear matter in a situation like that?
Speaker 1:Right, Because he came in and, yeah, he presented himself as Dr Chuckles but like he knew his stuff clearly and he in no uncertain terms said that Muffy could have died. He says that I've been here for 10 years and I've had three people in the ER in this situation die. Right, so we took him seriously because of that message, but I'm like it matters to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it matters to me. Look, you're going to come in and deliver that news and you want to have legitimacy as a doctor, as an authority. I want you with the shirt, I want you with the tie, I want you with a gold pl.
Speaker 2:I want you with the tie. I want you with a the white coat Gold-plated stethoscope. A gold-plated one, at least an engraved one his mom got him when he graduated from medical school. Something. A name tag, did he have one?
Speaker 1:He did have a name badge.
Speaker 2:But you didn't look to see if it was Dr Dave, If it matched if it wasn't like Margaret's down in reception.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't notice that. Now, granted, I am all for comfort and they have a really hard job, and so part of me is, hell yeah, like, let them be comfortable with all the stress that they're under. And, trust me, I am like Mr Comfort, like I'm so much, mr Comfort, that you called me out the other day because I've now chosen to wear swim trunks as regular shorts. We were at a birthday party.
Speaker 2:We were at a social event and I tried to put my hand in your pocket and it was sewn shut and you looked at me and you went these are swim trunks. What the hell, sir? We were at an event.
Speaker 1:Okay, but I'm also not a doctor. I can do that. I'm in my middle age and damn it. I want to be comfortable, but not Dr Dave. I do not want Dr Dave. I want him to be slightly uncomfortable so that all he's thinking about is I better give the best damn service to these people so then I can go home and change into my, my frat uniform. I don't want him to feel free to, like you know, skive off and go take a nap under, you know, the admitting desk.
Speaker 2:Well, he was the night doctor so he had just gotten on call, so maybe he just woke up somewhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah he just woke up like in a closet and they rolled him out and said go at it, dr dave, you got some people to see she's she's dying. Go see her.
Speaker 2:We're sober up or whatever it was funny because when he first came in muff he was super out of it and then, um, this, so you and I were noticing the clothes. And then the second time he came in she was a little more. A little. She had had her second dose of epinephrine and so she was a little more with it and she looked at his clothes and looked at us and was like what is this? And she's really into the pit.
Speaker 2:The new noah wiley show, which is the er in pittsburgh and I asked her I said, is this anything like the pit? And she was like no, this isn't. This is nonsense, like I don't know what's happening here, but this is nonsense. So we are very, very grateful they were going to admit us, not to the icu, but a step down from that, a step up from regular care I feel like dr dave was a step down from a real doctor, or whatever and she were dave was like no, I'm not letting you go home, I've seen three people die.
Speaker 2:I'm not letting you go home. And she kept saying I don't want to take a bed from somebody who needs it, I'm gonna be okay. She kept saying I'm gonna convince him I need to go home. And he came in and he looked at her and he said do you want to go home?
Speaker 1:she said yes, I do, and so he sent us home and and she was able to do that without offering him a token for a free beer didn't have to play around a beer pong and see if she won or not it reminds me of a doctor it's you made that joke about beer pong. It reminds me of a doctor I used to have in miami and he's the worst doctor I've ever had Real thin, super uncommunicative and like slightly scary right.
Speaker 1:And so it's one of those things where I just had to have a doctor, had to have one. He was the only one left in the practice. I don't remember his name. All I remember about him is I found out that his primary doctoring was that he was a doctor for the United States boxing team.
Speaker 2:And I was like that tracks yeah.
Speaker 1:That tracks. I should have known first time he came in I complained of a headache and he tried to shove smelling salts under my nose.
Speaker 2:Did he really? No God, I'm so gullible, I can't believe you. I was like he was gonna check you for a concussion.
Speaker 1:I actually believed you I was like he was gonna check you for a concussion. I actually believed you. He cut. We gotta cut him.
Speaker 2:We gotta cut him so we get home and I, one of the concessions for dr day was that I said I would sleep with her so that I could check her her breathing, because he was concerned she was going to re-react and her I didn't. I barely slept because I kept waking up to make sure that she was breathing.
Speaker 1:And then the next morning she and I went to Savannah, I did not want you to go on this trip.
Speaker 2:We had planned a mother daughter trip and we had a bed and breakfast booked that we couldn't get the money back. You were even saying you would refund us the money, like you would give us the money.
Speaker 1:I didn't want you to go. I know Cause, like who knows, this is very scary.
Speaker 2:It was a very very scary thing and I would have been like, had this have happened and you would have taken one of the kids away, I would have felt the same way you wouldn't have let me.
Speaker 1:That's the difference. That's the difference. Now I will say that that was Friday and into Saturday I matcha on the weekends, yeah, and so if I was full of piss and matcha, then this story may have been different all right.
Speaker 2:Well, we need you to do that, which I like. That it's matcha and not like gin, like matcha is what's getting you through. Uh, anyway, she and I went. We had a lovely time in savannah. We did a ghost tour, but I made everything she ate. I made everybody tell me ingredients, like we were real serious with all the food she ate. And then she came back and she went to minnesota with her dad's family and she did it. She managed all of her food there as well.
Speaker 2:So we're doing okay, but it was really really scary I mean, I thought at some point that you know, she might not be with us I mean, I knew by the time I got there that she was okay. But I realized how quickly that could have gone south. Very quickly.
Speaker 1:Now. Winthrop had a great time at his little play date and everything but clearly this affected him too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's not been sleeping. So the night that I slept, we got home from the hospital, he slept with you, and then we went to Savannah. The next day he slept with you, and now he is not wanting to be in his bed. He is not wanting to sleep alone. I had to go lay with him last night at like 10 o'clock because he was still awake until he fell asleep. So we have seriously regressed in our sleep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not for it.
Speaker 2:Not for the sleep regression.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not for having to be his sleep Sherpa, as I'm trying to guide him up mountain exhaustion.
Speaker 2:I know, but I mean, this has been traumatic for him too, so this attachment is what he needs right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I remember as a kid I had problems sleeping, but I was a lot older and I was dealing with existential issues of dread and like while I was, you know, very in a very strict religious sect. So I was laying awake at the age of 12 wondering if I was going to go to hell, so that that kept.
Speaker 2:Now I don't imagine that he's dealing with that, though no, but even even at like the age of five, he was asking questions at night like what happens when we die, what, what happens next? And then I would tell him what I thought and he would say I don't think anything happens, I think it's just done, you're over, and he was like five, so no, he's. And then muffie, at his age too, was worried about like a desolate wasteland for her children. Like my children get real like existential and real high anxiety. So yeah, he, and he also forgets how to sleep every day well, he doesn't forget how to sleep but that's what he says.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to sleep, really, you don't. You don't actively sleep like you, just your body gets tired and you go to sleep.
Speaker 1:I guess he doesn't. He doesn't get that sleep happens to you yeah right, you are acted upon by sleep.
Speaker 2:You do not act upon sleep was he's.
Speaker 1:He's acting upon sleep and that he's pushing it off yeah just go with it, man just got to get him to go with it. I gotta.
Speaker 1:I just ordered a book at the suggestion of our friend Chris Barron, and he has suggested that I look into Taoism okay and the little I understand about Taoism right now because I hadn't gotten the book yet and he just explained a little bit of it to me through text was that it's the idea of you just kind of find the way of the universe and you just flow with it. You go down the river, baby. You stop resisting. And so this is we need to get our kid to embrace that and stop resisting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. He's also been super clingy, though, like we were when we went to the airport yesterday to pick her up and we went to dinner and then we went to World Market for the first time, which I was super excited about. Then we went to world market for the first time, which I was super excited about. He would not let go of me. I mean, he just was hugging my legs and the whole time. So he's, but school's about to start, so we get a lot.
Speaker 1:But I agree with you, we need to, just he needs to go with this flow yeah, I don't know what to do about that, but I'm gonna read this book and I get all the oh good, you'll solve all the things for us. Pocket watch, ticking constricting coat and vest marking moments. Speaking of this swim trunk thing which, by the way, they're board shorts. Does that matter to you that they're board shorts instead of swim trunks? No friend, they have a fake pocket. Listen, they're waterproof and stain proof.
Speaker 2:They're not.
Speaker 1:They had a. I saw the stain on them. No but that. But I'm saying that that'll come right off because of the material. Anyway, another thing that I've started to do that I think is very clever is carrying around an umbrella when it's sunny.
Speaker 2:I noticed you did that in Savannah.
Speaker 1:Listen, when I put on a hat, my head is drenched with sweat it's ridiculous. It's like there's a tiny shower underneath, and so having an umbrella is perfect. First of all, I can shade more than one person and I don't have anything on my head and I can still get the breeze on my everything perfect.
Speaker 2:I think that people should carry around umbrellas in for the sunny weather it's only going to get hotter, you know, and you think people were looking at you like it's not raining. What are you doing?
Speaker 1:oh, they were. Yeah, they were. They were looking at me askance, but I don't care that reminds me so when I was growing up.
Speaker 2:My, I don't know how this worked, but I thought this was the way that all things worked and something I found it out and, like people are making fun of me, our air conditioner at our house somehow generated water, like there was like this water filter. That happened with the air conditioner, so whenever the air came on at my home, ours generates water no, no, no, it we had like my.
Speaker 2:It was hooked up to a sprinkler, so when the air conditioner came on, the grass started watering. There was some sort of like system that sounds freaking brilliant.
Speaker 1:That because what happens with ours is that it doesn't drain. If the little outlet gets plugged it doesn't drain, and then our freaking AC stops.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so my dad had this figured out. My dad was in construction, right like so he figured this out. But it was during a hurricane one year and the air came on and so it was pouring outside and our sprinklers were on and our neighbors took a video to make, like what are this? What is this idiot doing? So? But there was a method to that madness. So clearly that was the same kind of looks you were getting with your umbrella. So we're going to this party that I've talked about, that you were wearing these bathing suit to our friend jackie's 50th birthday party board shorts.
Speaker 2:I asked you to pull up at the grocery store. Let me run in and get a card. I was in there maybe three minutes and I made a friend. This man walked up to me I was in a dress because I we were going to a party. And he walked up and he said you look like you just came from church and he goes. But it's Saturday, but maybe Catholics go to church yeah, saturday mass. And he just started talking about this. He said but I like, I like dresses better. I mean, shorts and pants are fine, but I like dresses better. They just seem comfortable. And I said you know they really are. I said my husband, you know, limits the fact that he can't just like wear a dress to work. And he said oh, he doesn't wear them. And it was a really weird turn of the conversation and I said no, but I think he wants you to wear a dress.
Speaker 1:I think he wants some sort of like trauma processing. Did he think that you were?
Speaker 2:He was about 80. So let's just say that. So I didn't feel uncomfortable. But he has no personal bubble. He was standing right next to me. I learned he served in the Navy. I learned that he is from Pennsylvania. I learned that he moved here 15 years ago and I'm talking about this was in the span of three minutes.
Speaker 1:And you didn't yet determine whether you accepted his insurance or not for this counseling session.
Speaker 2:I mean, we went way deep in the three minutes that we were in this checkout line together.
Speaker 1:Well, we've talked about before how I wouldn't mind wearing a kilt Although I don't think that I would like to wear a kilt, because I thought about it more, Because the idea is that you've got this kilt on but it's belted.
Speaker 1:And so you've got that. See, I want more freedom than that Friend. Jeff wears a lot of kilts. Again, I think kilts would afford you some freedom, but not the freedom that I want. If I'm gonna go ahead and switch to wearing like dresses, then it's gonna be like like a sundress or a muumuu a muumuu.
Speaker 2:That's what I want you to know.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be a sundress, because I, I want to at least be a little bit fashionable.
Speaker 2:But you want pockets. This is the goal for every woman in a dress. You need pockets.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I would need pockets to keep all of my stuff.
Speaker 2:But what would you do for support, though? I mean, clearly you would have underwear on right, Because when I wear dresses, I wear basically bike shorts, but not bike shorts like longer underwear. They're longer so that my thighs rub together, together and that's not fun for anybody. So what would you do for support?
Speaker 1:I think. The idea, though, is that I'm looking for freedom, so if I'm going to wear underwear, then what would you do?
Speaker 2:you get a little net, Like Chicken Tom has a net for them.
Speaker 1:Like a little sling, a little pouch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it's built into your sundress like, instead of a slip, because some, some dresses have slips, so that you're saying on the front inside of my sundress, there's a little.
Speaker 1:There's a little net, there's a little couch where your testicles go no, but then you would like see them. They would be there. It'd be like a target. It's like kick here. No, no, no, I would feel so exposed. They're just like two little outlaws.
Speaker 2:Not little, not little. I never understood why people got upset about those being little. I would assume you would want them to be more little. Big ones seem like they would just get in the way of things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but when you're talking about how brave someone, you don't say, boy, that guy really has little balls. That's true, fair enough. Fair enough, email, and it's email time. If you want to send us an email, send it to familiarwilsons at gmailcom. This week's email is from none other than Refined Gay Jeff.
Speaker 2:Hi Jeff.
Speaker 1:So Jeff opens up saying that the blowers on his furnace are acting up and need to be replaced. Terrible timing.
Speaker 2:Okay, so this email, I think, is a little few days ago and. I saw on the socials that Jeff did have to replace it and it was not an inexpensive thing. And it wouldn't be.
Speaker 1:yeah, I'm so sorry, jeff, he says. I've just returned from a successful dental visit. It was time for a cleaning. I go every four months, believe it or not, because my dentist, who I've been going to for 10 years now, has erased my fear of dental visits. Oh nice. So my reflections this week will be my refined gay thoughts while in the dental chair.
Speaker 2:Okay, good, here we go.
Speaker 1:First, I wonder if Meryl Streep goes to the dentist's office, or does she have a concierge dentist that comes to her house with a tricked-out dental RV? Wouldn't that be the ultimate to have all of your medical visits for each type of doctor on retainer and never be inconvenienced by all those nasty germs and bacteria-laden waiting chairs?
Speaker 2:Why specifically Meryl Streep?
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm assuming he was on the happy gas at this point.
Speaker 2:Did you know that Meryl Streep and Martin Short are dating? No, I did not know that, okay, they are Go ahead.
Speaker 1:I wonder if it's feasible to install a flat screen TV on the ceiling directly above my considerably large four poster bed so that I can look at TV or other soothing videos while I'm in a supine position.
Speaker 2:Like they do at the dental office.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like they do at the dental office. Yeah, so this is why he said that. I know I'm agreeing, Winthrop does that and it works a storm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but Winthrop gets mad because there's always a movie he doesn't want to watch. Last time I was like Lilo and Stitch or something.
Speaker 1:Oh, he doesn't get to choose.
Speaker 2:No, they don't have cable.
Speaker 1:No, it's just whatever movie's playing. Ridiculous Call in the dental RV really is a hot little long-haired otter. His husband, who also shares his dental practice, is also very attractive. I guess that's why they win the Houston Annual Gayest and Greatest Awards each year for Best Dentist. The Gayest and Greatest is a yearly compilation of basically everyone's favorite whatever Dentist, eye doctor, pcp or personal care physician, restaurants, auto mechanics, companies to work for gay liaisons with the community and many other positions that people deal with or come into contact with on a daily basis in the process of living our best lives.
Speaker 2:I like this, but I have a question. In order to qualify, do you have to be a gay practitioner of any of these things, or does the gay community vote and it doesn't matter the sexual orientation of the person who is nominated?
Speaker 1:Well, it does say the gayest and the greatest awards. Okay, so you would think that it's part of Not only do you have to be a gay eye doctor, you have to be the gayest eye doctor.
Speaker 2:I want to go to that eye doctor.
Speaker 1:I didn't need it at the time because it was just a simple cleaning, but nitrous oxide really is, as Tina Turner would say, simply the best. When I do use it there, they will connect me up and my dentist will check back with me in a few minutes later, ask me if I'm doing all right that I should be at about two margaritas now. This is why I love my dentist.
Speaker 2:Oh, whenthrop has to go. I had to cancel his appointment last week because of everything going on here, but he's got to go get some sealants put on and they're going to give him the nitrous gas and I'm looking forward to it. Has he ever had it? Yeah, when he had a stitch on his eye.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's right. And he wanted to kiss my hand.
Speaker 2:No, he wanted you to kiss his. That's right he was like, like the pope, the tiny drunk pope he just held his little three-year-old hand out to josh and said kiss my hand hey, jeff continues.
Speaker 1:X-rays have come so far. Now it's just a click of the handheld radar gun aimed at the side of your mouth. It's instantly viewable on the monitor in front of you. No more covering you up in a lead blanket. It allows my fabulous linen shirts to remain wrinkle-free.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they still cover Winthrop up and he was not happy about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, next a great hygienist will laud praise on you for your work at Flossing. Oh nice, she told me she was super impressed with my dental hygiene and there was no bleeding at all. That's the equivalent of me telling my dog Johnny who's a good boy. And then, lastly, he says several times during my cleaning my hygienist told me to close my mouth a little. I assume this allows her to reach places with her instruments that she normally couldn't reach if my jaw were a little wider. As a refined gay man, I have full motion. Can I finish as a refined gay man? I have full motion. Can I finish as a refined gay man? I have full range of motion with my jaw. References upon request.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, I have TMJ. We'll just leave that right there.
Speaker 1:What are you doing right now?
Speaker 2:I was just saying I can't open my jaws that way. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Wait, what did you? You just.
Speaker 2:I think something just hit our house. Did you hear that loud voice? I think you're trying to change the subject. I am Okay.
Speaker 1:So he says that's all for this week. My friends, I have one week left on my vacation. Faculty returns next week, August 1st, which has already happened actually. We should see how, um how, he's doing. So he hopes things are back to normal and he wishes us peace and cookies thanks, jeff. Have a great school year if you want to email us like jeff does or differently than jeff does. Familiarwilsons at gmailcom. Peterwilson's at gmailcom. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What do you think of that mess?
Speaker 2:I mean I think it was good. I will say you were playing something back and I got quite a pronounced vocal fry, because my throat hurts really badly and I'm going to be fine, according to AI, but I'm still rocking the sore throat. So please forgive the vocal fry. I sang about it, you did All right.
Speaker 1:This podcast is the combined efforts of a whole bunch of people, including Dr Matt, who does phenomenal abdominal surgery. Dr Antonio does bombastic thoracic exams, dr Leo lasers livers with lethal precision oh my God, ew gross. Danny Buckets, joey Joey wing repair. Joey Joey. Dr Refine, gay Jeff is the on-call doctor of love and lavender. Anesthesia Doctors Mark and Rachel rotate cuffs romantically and robustly and doctors Dan and Gavin do the best breast enhancements. Oh Lord, they each take one and meet in the middle. Nope.
Speaker 2:Nope, nope.
Speaker 1:Nope, all right, folks, until next week. Y'all take it easy and go with the flow, just floating down the river, and you'll be, I'd be kind, while you do it, bye, bye, thank you.
