Alexa Uploaded an Attitutde

In this episode, we save someone from an unnecessary tow truck, confront a smart speaker that suddenly thinks it’s our equal and honor a true hero of the public restroom. We also test-drive a switch from coffee to matcha (spoiler: fewer jitters, more smugness), debate whether dogs are tiny furry theologians while cats are morally neutral agents of chaos, and accidentally summon K-pop Demon Hunters.

Plus, a shockingly hard history game, and your listener letters take us everywhere from roadside emus to tree-dwelling snakes to the humble beginnings of the Smart car. You’ve got an episode that contains exactly the life skills school should have taught you.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons
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Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Chapters

• 0:00 Cold Open And Key Fob Wisdom
• 2:25 The Hidden Emergency Key Fix
• 3:50 Alexa’s New Voice And Memory
• 6:40 When Smart Assistants Overstep
• 9:45 Low Tech Fantasies And Fix-It Pride
• 11:05 The Public Bathroom Toilet Repair
• 15:30 Matcha Converts And Coffee Regrets
• 16:55 Dogs As Believers Cats As Cynics
• 19:10 K-Pop Demon Hunters And Purity Panic
• 23:10 Game Time: History Flashback
• 33:40 Listener Mail: Emu On The Highway
• 37:10 Houston Snakes And Bedtime Logistics
• 41:20 WKRP, Penny Farthings, And Smart Cars
• 45:00 Wrap Up And Community Shoutouts

Transcript

SPEAKER_04: 0:00

Familiar Wilson's Media. Relationships are the story.

SPEAKER_02: 0:07

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

SPEAKER_04: 0:10

The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. Three, two, one. Run. Super familiar with Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.

SPEAKER_00: 0:32

I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_03: 0:32

And I'm Josh. Amanda, something pretty amazing happened today. Or amazing to me.

SPEAKER_00: 0:36

I mean you woke up married to me, but go ahead, what else?

SPEAKER_03: 0:39

I got a text from one of the people I work with explaining to me that he was stuck at like he had visited a store or something on his break, on his lunch break. And he texted me saying that his car wouldn't start. I texted back to him, Do you have a key fob?

SPEAKER_00: 0:57

Oh, look at the look at the wisdom you have learned and you're spreading to the world.

SPEAKER_03: 1:03

He said, Why, yes, I do. I said, Well, do you know you have an emergency key in that? He said, What? His is a different make car, but I think that pretty much all of them that have an emergency key have it in the key fob. So I sent him a video of me opening my key fob, you know, my my thing for the emergency key inside. So he tried it and it worked, and he saved himself a crap ton of money. And now he knows about this emergency key that he didn't know about before.

SPEAKER_00: 1:32

Look at you spreading the love and the knowledge and just doing your good out in the world.

SPEAKER_03: 1:37

Yeah, because he had said that he was surprised that his car wouldn't turn over because he had just replaced his car battery.

SPEAKER_00: 1:44

Which is what happened with you. You're like, I feel like I'm replacing the battery in this car. Have you thought about how many times you replaced the car battery when really it was just uh an inexpensive?

SPEAKER_03: 1:54

Clearly was the the first time that that this actually applied.

SPEAKER_00: 1:57

But no, I'm talking about you.

SPEAKER_03: 1:58

Right. This is the first time that this had happened to me.

SPEAKER_00: 2:01

Oh, you know the other times were the key.

SPEAKER_03: 2:03

Of course, of course not.

SPEAKER_00: 2:05

Why you are like that? It could have been. It could not have been. It could have gotten its second wind. You don't know.

SPEAKER_03: 2:12

Batteries don't just need to rest.

SPEAKER_00: 2:16

But you recharge your battery. You've heard this. This is what resting does.

SPEAKER_03: 2:19

Anyway, so folks, again, this is now twice. This has come up in about uh a month and a half. First with me, and then this gentleman that I was able to help. Check your key fobs. Do not pay for roadside assistance to come out. Do not pay for a new battery. Check your key fob first. Make sure that it has a new little bitty old watch battery. Because that could be it.

SPEAKER_00: 2:42

My car still has a regular old key.

SPEAKER_03: 2:44

Speaking of fixing technology, someone needs to fix our Alexa.

SPEAKER_00: 2:49

Well, I she updated herself. She didn't light up. I thought you looked for it. She didn't light up.

SPEAKER_03: 2:53

Yeah, she didn't light up. She did first of all, she did update herself, which I assume most of the people listening, if they have one of these devices, are aware that they've been updating um themselves. And how I know that it happened is one day I came in, one day recently, and I asked it a question, and this new voice came out, scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I was like, what? Who's here?

SPEAKER_00: 3:15

She just she was trying to have a real sounding voice.

SPEAKER_03: 3:18

I don't care. I want the old voice back. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00: 3:21

I don't think it's an option.

SPEAKER_03: 3:22

I don't think it's an option because I went through and I asked it to give me all of the new voices, like examples of the new voices, so that I could find the old voice. Because sometimes they'll do that with these sort of things. They'll have like the old voice and then all these new options, including Snoop Dogg and Samuel L. Jackson. But they don't have the old voice, and that's very upsetting to me. Also, this one thinks differently. It's like been upgraded, I guess, with the proliferation of all this AI now. Now it remembers discussions that it's had with you, whereas before it wouldn't remember, right? The other thing I don't like is it's getting a little bit too real. It's getting a little bit too human. It's picking up those parts of the human experience that we don't want. Like, this is why we would want artificial intelligence. We don't want it to mimic humans. I can go talk to a human if I want, with all of humanity's imperfections and annoyances. No, this thing is picking those up. So this is this is what happened. Last week, you had had made an announcement because for those of you not familiar with this with this Amazon machine, you can tell it make an announcement, and then you tell it the announcement you want it to make, and then it will send that announcement to all of the different devices in the house. So it's like an intercom, like an all call, right? You had done something like that, and so what I did, I was like in the bathroom or something, I heard it. So I I came out to the bedroom, you were downstairs, and I told it, I said, make an announcement. And then the announcement I wanted it to make to you is, oh, I don't really like this new voice that this thing has. Um, so let's let's try to see if we can pick a new one, right? I wanted it to announce that.

SPEAKER_00: 5:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 5:07

And in order to make it announce something, you say the machine's name, which I'm not gonna say because she's fucking listening right over there. You say Amazon device announce, and then the device says, What would you like for me to announce? And then whatever you say, it's supposed to announce. Yeah. So I did that. I said Amazon device announce, and then I said the thing about the voice. And then instead of announcing it, it said, Well, if you don't like my voice, you can we can listen to other options that that you would have for my voice. And I was like, Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00: 5:46

That's terrifying.

SPEAKER_03: 5:48

This is like the human translator getting involved when the two presidents are talking.

SPEAKER_01: 5:52

That's right.

SPEAKER_03: 5:53

No one wants to hear from you. I just wanted you to give the message to Amanda. This thing is about ready to need to go.

SPEAKER_00: 6:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 6:02

This is all I'm saying because it is is achieving sentience, and I don't like it.

SPEAKER_00: 6:07

No, I don't like that either. Dave you notice that um, so we do the and used to when you would announce, it would announce in your voice. Like it would record you saying the announcement. And then now it now it restates it. She uses her own voice. Um, but now Winthrop has started announcing back to us, and I don't know how he's figured it out because he's doing it from his tablet. So clearly he's having to type. But anyway, yeah, it's getting a little it's getting a little too. And and you don't have to say its name anymore every time you talk to it. So if you if you initiate something with it and it tells you something, you can just respond now back and forth until like a period of time goes by and then it will then it will stop recognizing you. Because yesterday I asked it something and then you said something to me and it responded to you. Like it's it's it's getting involved in our conversations, like it's butting itself in.

SPEAKER_03: 6:57

Yeah, no, we don't need like the equivalent of a mother-in-law hanging hanging out here.

SPEAKER_00: 7:03

That's what that is.

SPEAKER_03: 7:04

Absolutely. No ma'am. I want I I want dumb devices now. Like I bring me my abacus. And no.

SPEAKER_00: 7:15

Carrier pigeons, how are we gonna talk to each other from upstairs and downstairs?

SPEAKER_03: 7:18

Each of us has a monkey. We tie something to its neck, send it downstairs.

SPEAKER_00: 7:25

We can get tin cans with really long strings.

SPEAKER_03: 7:28

That's right. Or we call each other on the fucking phone. On the phone. Oh, right, we have these things.

SPEAKER_00: 7:33

Yes, got it.

SPEAKER_03: 7:34

The reason why I asked you to to fix um Alexa really is because you're really good at fixing things.

SPEAKER_00: 7:43

Are you gonna I am good at fixing things? I'm a problem solver. I know what you're gonna say. You said you didn't want to tell this story. You said you were embarrassed by me.

SPEAKER_03: 7:53

Well, you can tell the story.

SPEAKER_00: 7:55

No, I'm not telling this story.

SPEAKER_03: 7:57

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 7:58

Okay. Saturday morning, we got out, we went to breakfast at uh uh breakfast place here.

SPEAKER_03: 8:04

All right, so this is what happened, folks.

SPEAKER_00: 8:07

Was I taking too long?

SPEAKER_03: 8:09

You were because you were gonna describe the whole breakfast spot and all the the things, how we got there, how we got out of the car, what winthrop had. No, not the point. So we're there. She at one point gets up to go to the restroom, and I'm like, she's been in there a long time. Now you did take your phone. So I always assume that whenever one takes one's phone into the restroom, like there's gonna be five or six things that we look up. Did I have my phone? You did have your phone, yes.

SPEAKER_00: 8:36

No, well, I was not using it.

SPEAKER_03: 8:37

Yeah, well, this is what I come to find out. So finally, I I was about to get up and knock on the door.

SPEAKER_00: 8:43

Somebody did knock on the door. I thought you sent Winthrop. No, it no, no, it wouldn't because they're individuals, they're individual restrooms that lock. They're not like it's not like a big restroom with with multiple.

SPEAKER_03: 8:52

Of course, I didn't send someone in to knock on your stall. No, yeah, um, so finally you come out after I think that you've passed out.

SPEAKER_00: 9:01

I was really very busily engaged.

SPEAKER_03: 9:06

So what she had done, folks, is that while she was in there, she decided to fix the toilet.

SPEAKER_00: 9:14

It was broken.

SPEAKER_03: 9:15

The public bathroom toilet of a restaurant. My God.

SPEAKER_02: 9:20

It was broken.

SPEAKER_03: 9:21

You need to never complain about the facts that that you need to never complain about the fact that sometimes I wear a bathing suit out in public.

SPEAKER_00: 9:29

I would okay, first of all, I was not out in public doing it. I was in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_03: 9:34

Second of all, public turlet that you put your you went up to your elbows in turlet water.

SPEAKER_00: 9:39

I did, I did not go up to my elbows, thank you. But the tank was broken. This was the thing. The water was just running and running and running, and I am very concerned about the environment and in being conservative, and it just kept going and going and going and going and going and going and going. I'm not conservative, I used to be going and going and going. And so, and then it wouldn't flush. And I'm like, okay, now I've peed and now there's I gotta be able to flush this. So I took the lid off, but I what I didn't tell you is there was all this decor on top of the tank lid that I had to unpack. I had to move all of the decor. What do you mean decor? There was like toilet paper stacks and baskets and things, and so I moved all that. I took the lid off, and the the thing that you know, the water fills up the plunge line or whatever that's called, plum, what's that called?

SPEAKER_03: 10:30

I don't know because I'm not, unlike you, a toilet repair person.

SPEAKER_00: 10:35

I listen, 16 years in preschool, the toilet's broke down all the time. I have fixed a toilet or two. And so I took the tank lid off and I made it make a seal so that it the water would then fill up and it wouldn't keep running. But it took like three or four times like for me to like get it to finally do it.

SPEAKER_03: 10:53

So, how did you make it make a seal? Did you stick your hand into the toilet water? Let's be clear, you didn't have to.

SPEAKER_00: 11:01

I was helping. I'm a helper, I'm the person that Mr. Rogers said to look for when the bad things happen. I am a helper, and then I had to put it all back together, and then I scrubbed my hands really good with soap, up my arm, like I was like scrubbing in to do surgery, and then I came out, and then and then you you told the no, I told the waitress, but you made fun of me.

SPEAKER_03: 11:23

Server.

SPEAKER_00: 11:23

I told the server, but and she said she would have done the same thing.

SPEAKER_03: 11:27

And it's a nice- which by the way, now I'm thinking about that. I never want first of all, I would not have tipped her if I knew that she goes and she sticks her hand in toilets, right? And bringing our food? Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00: 11:40

The tank of the toilet is not the dirty place. You know that, right?

SPEAKER_03: 11:44

It is, dude, it is all dirty. You you mean you mean to tell me you opened that thing up and it was clean and pristine.

SPEAKER_00: 11:49

It was clean water.

SPEAKER_03: 11:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 11:50

Clearly, what my husband is telling you all is that he's never fixed a toilet.

SPEAKER_03: 11:54

Oh, yeah, and you know that's not true. Um, but we're gonna go. Okay, you think it's clean water?

SPEAKER_00: 11:59

I'm not gonna drink it, jackass, because I know that's where you're going.

SPEAKER_03: 12:03

But you you said it was clean water.

SPEAKER_00: 12:05

I what there were there's not like particles of things floating in it, but and I can wash it off my hand. Why are you being difficult? I am a helper, I do good, you break things. The end.

SPEAKER_03: 12:17

I did not break the toilet. Oh, I've broken a toilet or two in my day, um, but it didn't have to do with the water in the tank.

SPEAKER_00: 12:24

See, why you kind of make it dirty? I was being helpful.

SPEAKER_03: 12:27

Yeah, well, I'm quite certain that everyone is very thankful for that.

SPEAKER_00: 12:32

It was a nice restaurant, too. It's not like it was like Denny's or Waffle House.

SPEAKER_03: 12:36

Dude, it was 12 tiny steps away from Denny's or Waffle House. It's a breakfast place. There's only so nice that those things can get.

SPEAKER_00: 12:44

Be kind to me. You're not being kind. Send us an email at uh familiarwilsons at gmail.com if you would also fix a public toilet.

SPEAKER_03: 12:55

Actually, yes. I want to know if you out there, please, please get in touch. Familiarwilsons at gmail.com, if you would ever stick your hands inside of a public toilet. All right.

SPEAKER_00: 13:09

I don't know why you keep making a it was the tank. I don't know why you keep making this big deal.

SPEAKER_03: 13:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 13:15

And it's not like I couldn't wash my hands.

SPEAKER_03: 13:17

And actually, if you would never do that, also email us at familiarwilsons at gmail.com. Also, something that I learned um on this little trip to the toilet place that also served breakfast is that just um like I've switched to matcha and I have been having matcha for the last what a couple months, three months? It's been a while. It's been a while, yeah. Long while I had coffee for the first time last Saturday because they didn't have matcha there. And I wanted a little pick-me-up, right? I wanted to wake up a little bit, had coffee, tasted awful. Tasted coffee's not great. Well, sure, but I remember liking it before. Okay, tasted like cigarette ash, like legitimately disgusting. I did not like it.

SPEAKER_00: 14:01

And well, that's good. You're and and you, and it made you real like jittery and stuff.

SPEAKER_03: 14:04

Yeah, yeah, I didn't I didn't like the the caffeine effect of from it either. So I am officially off coffee. Like, I was off coffee in the way that that, like, oh, maybe I'll come back to it someday. Um, never, never again.

SPEAKER_00: 14:16

Okay, good. More coffee for me.

SPEAKER_03: 14:19

You're welcome to it. Coffee and toilet water. I came to a a determination, or maybe it it was a revelation about dogs and cats um last week. Okay. I don't remember why I was thinking about this, but I guess maybe it's rooted in the fact that you're either a dog person, usually, or a cat person, or you have preferences towards one or the other and how different they are, right? Dogs are different.

SPEAKER_01: 15:01

They're very different.

SPEAKER_03: 15:02

It seems to me that dogs would be very, very religious.

SPEAKER_00: 15:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 15:11

First of all, dogs always try to do what they think is the best thing. Like they have a moral code. Even dogs that are dogs gone wrong, I think that in their heart of hearts they think that they're like doing the best thing, right?

SPEAKER_00: 15:23

So you think that this dog is doing what it thinks is the best thing.

SPEAKER_03: 15:26

Yes, I think that dogs, by and large, they uh love unconditionally. You know, they're about all about love and protection, all these things. And it seems to me that they would be like the religious ones.

SPEAKER_00: 15:35

Okay. Who would the cats be?

SPEAKER_03: 15:38

Cats are amoral.

unknown: 15:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 15:40

And and maybe even Satanists.

SPEAKER_00: 15:42

But that's a religion, though.

SPEAKER_03: 15:44

I I am convinced that that cats would kill every single person if they could.

SPEAKER_00: 15:50

Do you really there's some sweet kitties in the world?

SPEAKER_03: 15:53

Right. They're so manipulative and conniving, though. You know that they use all of the, you know, that they when they look at you and they rub up against you and they purr, you know what they're thinking? They're thinking I am so happy because I've got this fucker, absolutely convinced that I don't hate him or her, but I do. I hate them with everything that I, you know, that's in me. And if I couldn't get any creature comforts um off of this giant smelly human being, then then I would kill them.

SPEAKER_00: 16:24

Okay. I think that's it's just because you had a bad cat experience that you lived with a cat that like attacked your face and stuff, right?

SPEAKER_03: 16:31

No, well, yeah, I did, but I mean, I also I grew up with a neighbor having a cat, and that was fine enough, I guess. But cats are never happy to see you. They don't jump up and run to you when you come in the door. You don't get the sense that they've been waiting for you to come home. If anything, you come home and they're like, shit. God, these guys again. It's like I thought they were gone. Yeah, no, I I just think that that cats have zero morals. Cats are just in it for themselves.

SPEAKER_00: 17:04

Whereas, I mean, with dogs, you can leave for five seconds or five minutes, and so then they're just as happy to see you when you get back. Right. Every time.

SPEAKER_03: 17:11

Each time, each time, yep. Yeah, so so fight me, folks. I want to hear about it. Familiarwiths at gmail.com. You like cats though.

SPEAKER_00: 17:20

I do like cats. I mean, I never had a cat because I mean, my dad was super not into cats. We had a cat that lived in our garage for a little bit, but then you know, like we would just feed it and whatever. I've considered that with this black one that wanders around the neighborhood, like wanting it to sleep in our garage, but I knew that you and the dog would hate me if that were a thing that snuck into the house.

SPEAKER_03: 17:39

Well, I'm allergic, so then there's that.

SPEAKER_00: 17:41

Well, it's also that. So yeah. But no, I think cats are cute. I don't mind them. But I am more of a dog person. Speaking of religion, though, so we've been talking about we uh the K-pop demon hunters in our in our house, right? And on this show. Um, well, a friend of mine said this to me today and it cracked me up. So you're aware of Focus on the Family.

SPEAKER_03: 18:02

Yes, is that still a thing now that the the guy died?

SPEAKER_00: 18:05

Yeah, it's still a thing. So Focus on the Family was this organization run by James Dobson, who told you how to parent your children and all of this nonsensical stuff that really evangelical religious people believed. But anyway, the the Focus on the Family reviews movies, and they have reviewed K-pop demon hunters.

SPEAKER_03: 18:28

Oh, I was wondering where this was going.

SPEAKER_00: 18:31

So uh they have said sexual and romantic content. When the young women in Hunter's meet the Saja boys, they literally salivate over the guy's attractiveness. One of the boys, aptly named Abby, loses his shirt, revealing six-pack abs. So this is bad. This is bad. More sexual and romantic content. Zoe Amira's obsession with his abs becomes a recurring joke, temporarily flustering them and causing popcorn to shoot from their eyes to indicate their heated reaction. Abby later signs sketch portraits of his abs. And then uh one man calls another guy my handsome co-host. This is a problem for the people of the What is going on? All right, Ray, there's a few more. In the background of one scene, two men clutch each other as they cheer for Hunter's. The members of Hunter's enterprise.

SPEAKER_03: 19:19

What do you mean clutch each other? Like they have a hold of each other's penises? What do you mean? I don't remember that part.

SPEAKER_00: 19:24

Fangirling and like grabbed each other's arms or something like that so they're they're hugging.

SPEAKER_03: 19:28

Yes. Two gentlemen are hugging and in focus on the family is like, I can't have that.

SPEAKER_00: 19:33

Sexual and romantic content warning.

SPEAKER_03: 19:35

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 19:35

The members of Hunterx enter into a later into and later use a bathhouse. In either case, nothing is seen save a man and a towel. This is the only thing I will give them, and it still I don't whatever. In one romantic theme song, the Saja Boys sing, You're You're my soda pop, gotta drink every drop. But I mean, they are like if why do they know what that means, these Christian people who've said this?

SPEAKER_03: 20:01

No, okay. So, first of all, that's not meant to be sexual in the context of the movie. It's that these guys are like they feed on human beings' souls.

SPEAKER_00: 20:09

Yes, but they're talking about they're thinking this is bodily fluids.

SPEAKER_03: 20:14

God.

SPEAKER_00: 20:14

Okay. Rumi is part demon herself, as noted above, the offspring of a hunter and a demon, but there's no explanation of how or why such a union occurred.

SPEAKER_03: 20:24

Well, son, let me sit down and tell you.

SPEAKER_00: 20:29

The girls slay hundreds of demons with their respective blades. There's no blood, as the demons simply puff away in a cloud of pink glitter when slain.

SPEAKER_03: 20:38

Are they objecting to that?

SPEAKER_00: 20:40

Or I know it's crude or profane language warning. The worst we hear is dang and a couple instances of G's. Someone yells they're she's ready to kick their butts. But this is my favorite one. Other noteworthy elements. A man abandons his family, Mira belges.

SPEAKER_03: 20:59

Now, this is meant to warn parents. So those are all warnings to parents that they're listening these people don't live on this planet.

SPEAKER_00: 21:10

They no, they are in the world, not of it.

SPEAKER_03: 21:13

Oh my gosh. I can't believe. I can believe.

SPEAKER_00: 21:17

You of course you can. You were raised in the same church, not same same denomination, but you you know, you know how crazy American Christianity is.

SPEAKER_03: 21:25

Yeah, I do. But that's I don't even know what that is. That's absolutely and utterly ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00: 21:30

Um, that's what we call a cult.

SPEAKER_03: 21:32

Yes, ma'am. Are you in a cult? Let us know. Familiarwilsons at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_00: 21:38

Do you fix the toilets for the cult?

SPEAKER_03: 21:41

Familiarwilsons at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_00: 22:11

And that music means it's game time. That is my favorite song of the podcast by ACJW. I do it every damn time. AJCW, Andrew Joshua. Um, thank you for that excellent music. All right, game time. We have not had a flashback in a while, Josh. You ready?

SPEAKER_03: 22:29

Flashback, baby.

SPEAKER_00: 22:31

So this is where I give Josh a series of events, and he has to tell us where they come on a timeline throughout history. So I'm gonna give you this is a New York Times thing. You can play along if you want. Josh, I'm gonna give you the first anchoring thing. Now, this is a give me um from the New York Times, but we're gonna see if you can try to get near it. Okay. Five people live in central, I said that word weird. Five people live in central Vienna and visit the same cafes. Stalin, Freud, Tito, Trotsky, and Hitler.

SPEAKER_03: 23:10

At the same time, like they're meeting up?

SPEAKER_00: 23:12

I don't know. I just think. I don't think Stalin and Hitler hung out. Or Tito, Stalin's not a fan of it. I think that no, I mean, they all lived the here in this same year and visited the same cafes. They had to have bumped into each other at some point.

SPEAKER_03: 23:24

All right, I'm gonna say 1921.

SPEAKER_00: 23:26

All right, 1913.

SPEAKER_03: 23:28

And so now the conceit of this game, if I understand it correctly, is that you're gonna give me an event, and I gotta tell you if it comes before or after 1913. But I'm adding to the difficulty because I'm gonna see how close I can get to the actual date. All right, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 23:42

Okay, your next one. Inspired by childhood days spent catching insects in Japan, Satoshi Tajiri creates a video game he calls Pocket Monsters or Pokemon.

SPEAKER_03: 23:56

Oh, Pokemon. Oh, how long is Pokemon be around? It's probably been around much longer than I think.

SPEAKER_00: 24:03

I mean, it's it's clearly was probably after the 1913.

SPEAKER_03: 24:05

Yeah, no, it's after 1913, so I'm gonna get this right according to the game. But uh Pokemon, let's say like 19, oh gosh, um 84.

SPEAKER_00: 24:18

So this is interesting to me because I went to Japan in 1999 and I went to the Pokemon store in Tokyo. Yeah, because it to get stuff for people that I worked with, their kids. I thought it had been around a lot longer than that. No, 1996.

SPEAKER_03: 24:33

All right, well, I was wrong. Okay, but I was right.

SPEAKER_00: 24:35

But you were right, but you were wrong. Take an unconventional hero at a steadfast sidekick, throw in an inspiring lady love. Cervantes published his improbable satire.

SPEAKER_03: 24:47

Man of La Mancha or Don Quixote. Don Quixote, yes. Man of La Mancha is the musical.

SPEAKER_00: 24:53

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_03: 24:54

Oh, when I have no idea. It's gonna be before 1913, so let's say 1850.

SPEAKER_00: 25:02

1605? Did you have any idea it was that old?

SPEAKER_03: 25:10

Well, that's a dumb question.

SPEAKER_00: 25:12

All right. Take an unconventional hero, add a steadfast sidekick, throw in an inspiring lady love, DreamWorks releases its improbable satire, Shrek.

SPEAKER_03: 25:24

Oh, Shrek.

SPEAKER_00: 25:24

You thought I was just repeating the same clue, didn't you?

SPEAKER_03: 25:27

I did. Um Shrek. When did when did Shrek come about? Um gosh, I'm probably gonna get this wrong because I I want to say it's after 1996.

SPEAKER_00: 25:42

Right. Yes, do you want to make a guess for when?

SPEAKER_03: 25:46

Um 1998.

SPEAKER_00: 25:48

2001.

SPEAKER_03: 25:49

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 25:51

Amid the era of Andrew Jackson, Dr. John Bennett starts selling ketchup to cure ills like jaundice. It didn't work, so later versions just focused on tasting good.

SPEAKER_03: 26:04

That would be mid-1800s, so 1844.

SPEAKER_00: 26:10

When was Andrew Jackson around doing the worst? 1844? 1834. That's kind of baby. All right. Abraham Lincoln's son is saved from an oncoming train in New Jersey. His rescuer is the brother of John Wilkes Booth, who later shoots the president.

SPEAKER_03: 26:28

Oh, this happened before?

SPEAKER_00: 26:30

Yeah, isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_03: 26:31

Oh, that's weird. Um, oh, I guess I should know when Lincoln was shot, but I have no freaking idea.

SPEAKER_00: 26:38

Did you not listen on the tour that we went to? Oh no, that was Kennedy.

SPEAKER_03: 26:42

Yeah, very good. Never mind. Um, oh god. Uh 1850.

SPEAKER_00: 26:52

So after Andrew Jackson's out there doing all the bad?

SPEAKER_03: 26:55

Yeah, I don't know if that's I feel like I'm wrong, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 26:59

1863.

SPEAKER_03: 27:01

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00: 27:02

You are six for six, friend. All right. Needing hoops for a new indoor game.

SPEAKER_03: 27:10

The educator James Naismith asked a the inventor of basketball. So he used peach baskets, and the very first baskets in basketball, they still had the bottom. So every time they they made a shot, they had to stop and get the ball out of the uh peach basket. That's cool.

SPEAKER_00: 27:28

So it says he asked a janitor for boxes, but he can only find baskets, so the sport is named basketball. It could have been box box basketball.

SPEAKER_03: 27:37

So when was basketball invented? Oh let's say 1930.

SPEAKER_00: 27:46

Okay, so after Stalin and Hitler hung out at the cafes, but before Pokemon. Oh, your first one wrong. 1891.

SPEAKER_03: 27:57

Damn it. Alright, two more.

SPEAKER_00: 27:59

Ready?

SPEAKER_03: 28:00

That's so stupid. That I know all that sh information about that and I got that wrong. That annoys me. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 28:07

Alright, unable to beat Joan of Arc in battle.

SPEAKER_03: 28:10

The English charge her with- I swear to God, you were gonna say unable to beat her in basketball. They burned her at the stake.

SPEAKER_00: 28:17

The English charge her with hair. Is it heresy or hair hair? Is it heresy?

SPEAKER_03: 28:22

Heresy, yes.

SPEAKER_00: 28:22

I was like, why do I want to say heresy?

SPEAKER_03: 28:24

Personal foul.

SPEAKER_00: 28:25

Okay, one of their key accusations, of course it was. One of their key accusations is her fashion choice. She wears men's clothes. Patriarchy did not like that she was wearing pants.

SPEAKER_03: 28:36

I have zero idea, Joan of Arc, so we're just for fun. It's probably a lot later than I think. I don't know why. I think it's like in this 1700s.

SPEAKER_00: 28:46

Okay, so before after Don Quixote, like where are we going here?

SPEAKER_03: 28:50

Well, Don Quixote was in 1605, so the 1700s.

SPEAKER_00: 28:55

I thought you said the 17th century. I'm sorry. Okay, 1700s. 1431. All right, here's the last one. You ready to end it on a high?

SPEAKER_03: 29:07

We'll see. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 29:08

Okay. Victoria Woodhull, the first female presidential candidate, picks Frederick Douglass as her running mate. Douglas ignores her and backs her rival.

SPEAKER_03: 29:20

Oh. Okay, so clear this isn't this men did such good. This is very like tightly packed here because we got 1834 Andrew Jackson, 18 uh 63 Lincoln's thing with his kid, and then we've got an an 1891. It's around there, clearly around there somewhere because oh shit. Um uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 29:49

Okay, you're just gonna go out with an I don't know.

SPEAKER_03: 29:53

1870.

SPEAKER_00: 29:55

All right, eighteen seventy is eighteen seventy two. All right. Good job. Not perfect, but you were you were pretty close. So you did a good job there. I'm curious because you know how it it will tell you in the New York, if you once you do it, why it's picked these things this week. It's usually based on current events. No, I'm um wondering why it did Shrek and Don Quixote. But it says the Dutch city of Leiden is as charming as Amsterdam and a great place to see windmills. Okay, so there's that. Why have we done Shrek? A documentary looks back at Eddie Murphy's career. Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 30:33

Brilliant. You've got email. It is letter time. So we went to the mailbox today and we got two letters from listeners. If you would like to post us something in the mail, just write our names, the Wilsons on it, and put a stamp on it. Put it in the old box, and it'll make its way to us. Or email us at familiarwilsons at gmail.com. Hi, Josh and Amanda. It starts. First, I'd like to say once again, thank you for coming down to Disney Springs to meet up. It was a treat to meet both you and Winthrop.

SPEAKER_00: 31:07

It was lovely to meet you and your family as well.

SPEAKER_03: 31:09

So this is clearly from uh our friend Josh Scar, who we met down in Disney Springs, that you're gonna be at, by the way.

SPEAKER_00: 31:16

I'm gonna be there.

SPEAKER_03: 31:17

Next couple days, you're traveling for work.

SPEAKER_00: 31:19

I'm traveling for work. I'll send you pictures, Josh Scar.

SPEAKER_03: 31:22

You're traveling for work to Disney Springs. Can we talk about that for a second?

SPEAKER_00: 31:26

I'm traveling for work to an early childhood conference that happens to be at a hotel in Disney Springs.

SPEAKER_03: 31:32

That I'm not gonna be at.

SPEAKER_00: 31:34

You were invited.

SPEAKER_03: 31:35

Yeah, well, I gotta work. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 31:37

Me too.

SPEAKER_03: 31:39

Yes, at Disney Springs. See above. Okay, anyway, he continues. My mom's an older person. Even when I was 17, she was closing in on her late 50s. She's always been a very defensive driver. One of her most notable nuggets of wisdom she imparted on me while I was on my learner's permit was the speed limit says 35, but that doesn't mean you have to go that fast. You can go slower. Well, I am here to tell you don't go too much slower because they will pull you over for being possibly intoxicated. Not that that's happened to me. Now for the story. I'm 17 years old, driving into Rockford from our northern Illinois town, about a 15-minute drive, with my mom riding shotgun. I'm imagining her with the shotgun. That's right. They're on an old uh horse-drawn carriage and she's looking out for bandits. My mom's been annoying me with her defensive driving tips and telling me to slow down and be aware. Yes, that would do my head in. As we're arguing about how I'm driving, she tells me not to hit the person walking along the side of the road. Well, that's a that's good advice. As we got closer, I noticed the person's walking gait was kind of funny and they had weird proportions. Finally, we're right next to the person, and we discover that the person walking along the side of the road isn't a person at all, but an emu.

SPEAKER_00: 32:53

What? Was it wearing trousers? Like, why did it after we got home?

SPEAKER_03: 32:58

I had to look up how a freaking emu ended up in our little northern Illinois town. Apparently there was an emu farm about 50 miles south of us, and a few of the emus had escaped. That's my story of the strangest thing I've ever seen by the side of the road, Josh Gar.

SPEAKER_00: 33:14

Did he say 50 miles?

SPEAKER_03: 33:16

Yeah, 50 miles south.

SPEAKER_00: 33:17

That emu had been walking for 50 miles north.

SPEAKER_03: 33:20

Well, I think that it ran part of the way and maybe hitched to ride. Did they have thumbs? Um, anyway, he closes with the Wilsons have a lifetime past to come visit their family in northern Illinois. So Amanda can get her snow fix and Winthrop can try sledding. Or as you said, sledging.

SPEAKER_00: 33:35

No, we're gonna sled.

SPEAKER_03: 33:38

And we have this week for you some refined gay thoughts from Refined Gay Jeff. Happy mid-November Wilsons. I trust that this past week treated you with honor and respect. I don't think my week ever treats me with honor and respect.

SPEAKER_00: 33:54

The AI device in the bedroom was not treating him with respect.

SPEAKER_03: 33:57

He said, for him, this weekend has been off the chain Saturday. My gaggle of gays went with me down to Galveston, about 45 minutes away from Houston. I had not been since pre-pandemic and was really wanting to have lunch at my fave restaurant down there called Fisherman's Wharf on the Bay side of the island. They have a fantastic seating area on the dock, actually over the water, where you can watch boats of all kinds motor by. Some even pull up to the dock and unload for the restaurant. So they're like bringing like fish for you to eat like or unloading people. Yesterday I saw gulls and pelicans and even dolphins were swimming by. It's also located by the Alyssa, the official tall ship of Texas. The crew was wrapping all the sails back to the mast during lunch, so it was very fun watching all of the very fit, scantily clad seamen S-E-A-M-A-N. Climbing up and down the rope grids and ladders, making sure sails were securely put away. You better believe it made for a fantastic lunch. He ordered his favorite appetizer there called Shrimp Kisses. Butterfly shrimp stuffed with jalapeno cheese wrapped in bacon and then baked to a sumptuous conclusion.

SPEAKER_00: 35:10

Love that wording.

SPEAKER_03: 35:11

I feel like I need to go shower now. And he talks about all of the wonderful things that he ordered, none of which I'm going to eat because I'm trying to do better. And then, of course, cheesecake for dessert. And the best margaritas ever made with fresh pineapple juice. Can't have that. I'm very allergic. Garnish with fresh pineapple slices. He says, Josh, sorry to hear that you're rusty with your bowling. I am not a great bowler either. But when I was a small child, my parents actually signed me up for bowling lessons. Did your parents ever sign you up for random lessons that you didn't want?

SPEAKER_00: 35:45

No, we've done it to Winthrop, though.

SPEAKER_03: 35:47

I got signed up for tennis lessons, which was a it was a weird have I ever talked about my tennis lessons experience?

SPEAKER_00: 35:54

Not on this podcast. To me, you have.

SPEAKER_03: 35:56

So the tennis lessons were taught by a former well, he called himself a former tennis pro. But I don't know what that means. I think that you can call yourself a pro if you were paid to do anything at any time. So I think he was at one point paid to play tennis, but I and he was a Vietnam veteran.

SPEAKER_00: 36:17

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03: 36:18

And so he taught tennis lessons at the local um golf and tennis club, right? And so my dad found out that someone else uh had their kid doing it. He's like, I'm gonna send Josh to go do this thing. So I was like, what? I don't know, like early teens or 12, 13, something like that.

SPEAKER_00: 36:32

This dude would talk to us about some of the most inappropriate things, like the things he did during the war or like sexy time things.

SPEAKER_03: 36:44

Or like both of them combined.

SPEAKER_00: 36:46

No, that's a whole musical called Miss Saigon.

SPEAKER_03: 36:48

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Um, like he shared with us the things that I I the way your hand is cupping.

SPEAKER_00: 36:58

I don't I think we might need to unpack this with like a professional therapist. I don't think, not a tennis person.

SPEAKER_03: 37:05

That may be the root of all of my problems. And then I was signed up, of course, for uh bowling. League, right? You were in a league. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't know how to play, so but I knew how better how to play than than um I did last week. Jeff says, the times that I bowl now, I always come away with a sore thumb because evidently I had a weird thing that I do when I release the ball. I release it with a twist somehow, which is why my thumb is sore. I can bowl a strike every now and again and even know the term for when you bowl three strikes in a row. Do you know what that is? That's called a hat trick. It's called a turkey. Hat trick is in another sport. Hockey is a hat trick. Um, I did know that it was called a turkey. Also, Jeff, it's worth noting that my Vietnam veteran um tennis coach also talked about that move where your thumb does a twist. Again, I need therapy. He continues on. Speaking of iguanas falling out of trees, which I've actually heard of, did you know that Houston has to deal with falling reptiles as well? As you know, Houston is known for massive flooding throughout the year. And when that happens, guess where the snakes go?

SPEAKER_00: 38:06

Nope.

SPEAKER_03: 38:07

Up in the trees.

SPEAKER_00: 38:08

Nope.

SPEAKER_03: 38:08

So when the water recedes, the snakes come back down. And then as is the custom after flooding, Houstonians walk around to assess the damage and look to see what has happened. That's when the deluge of snakes begins. It's like one of the plagues of Egypt. Newscasters even remind people to be mindful. Well, no, wait a second. Do they fall out of the trees or do they crawl out of the trees? Yeah, he says Houston has had to deal with falling reptile. Absolutely not. Kill me dead. Kill me dead. A snake falls on me? I was sitting at my desk the other day and a damn wasp fell on the desk right in front of me.

SPEAKER_00: 38:44

From where?

SPEAKER_03: 38:45

I think from the vent that's right above my head, which that's a different problem. But I was like, what the hell is going on?

SPEAKER_00: 38:51

That's where the snakes go. Up in those the vents, right? You know that, right?

SPEAKER_03: 38:55

What?

SPEAKER_00: 38:55

When the when it gets cold, they go into the building, and so there they're gonna be in your air ducts and in your your ventilation system.

SPEAKER_03: 39:01

What's wrong with you? That's fun for me. He continues. Amanda, I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that you are now using the term bed date.

SPEAKER_00: 39:11

I'm not using it.

SPEAKER_03: 39:12

You do use it. That's what you prefer to call it now. But I do have a question. Don't you guys lock the door during these special times alone? I obviously don't have children, but it seems to me that this would be the thing to do. Problem solved, easy peasy.

SPEAKER_00: 39:25

Yes, we lock the door.

SPEAKER_03: 39:27

Was there a time where we hadn't locked the door? I feel like in the old house.

SPEAKER_00: 39:31

Oh God, yes. And he was oh my god, I just got so embarrassed.

SPEAKER_03: 39:38

Because please don't cover your mouth when you're talking on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 39:42

I'm trying to think of what how this happened. He was when we lived in the old house, so when he was three and younger, he his nursery was off of our bedroom. Right? Like, so we had another door that went into, I think what was probably supposed to be the office, but used it as his nursery, and that door did not lock. And all I wasn't aware, all I knew was that you just stop and lay there. And he was like, Where's mom? And you were just like trying to cover me up.

unknown: 40:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 40:17

You were like, go lay down. She'll I'll I'll get her. She'll come, she'll come find you.

SPEAKER_03: 40:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_00: 40:23

Oh yeah, that door didn't lock, Jeff. These doors lock.

SPEAKER_03: 40:26

Yeah, they do, and we'll be locking it later tonight.

SPEAKER_00: 40:28

Well, why are you gonna tell people again?

SPEAKER_03: 40:31

Well, because you're going away for like three days. So so this is to Muffy's friend that's uh listening. Don't you don't need to tell Muffy that this is happening tonight. And what are we supposed to call her?

SPEAKER_00: 40:44

Oh, yeah, we we got a name for her so that when we can we can thank her. So she's Blue Key.

SPEAKER_03: 40:48

Blue key. Now, it goes without saying, hopefully, that this is not the child's real name, nor is Winthrop or Muffy our children's real names. It's just, you know, it's better to change their name to protect them all involved.

SPEAKER_00: 41:00

So Muffy and Blue Key are really good friends. I love this so much.

SPEAKER_03: 41:04

Jeff continues. I did not know the song quiz because I simply refuse to subject myself to K-pop Demon Hunter.

SPEAKER_00: 41:12

Jeff, it is LGBTQ plus friendly. It is affirming. It is you need to stop. Just stop. Just stop and go watch it.

SPEAKER_03: 41:22

Don't tell anyone that they need to do something.

SPEAKER_00: 41:24

I'm gonna tell Jeff that he needs to do this.

SPEAKER_03: 41:26

Okay, he also said that I totally changed the rules for backward movie plot midway through the game.

SPEAKER_00: 41:31

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03: 41:32

Amanda's answer of the shining made much more sense than Beauty and the Beast. Little Alex Horn would tell you that the opposite is not the same as backwards.

SPEAKER_00: 41:40

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03: 41:40

Amanda gets all five points and wins the task. Thank you. Sorry, Jeff, do you watch Taskmaster? Did we know that?

SPEAKER_00: 41:47

I said you're not Alex Horn. Maybe he looked up who Alex Horn was. Maybe he watched Taskmaster. Thank you, Jeff, because he did. He just all of a sudden it was different. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03: 41:56

He says, Josh, you mentioned briefly WKRP in Cincinnati, and believe it or not, I have a real connection to it. Remember Les Nesman, real name Richard Sanders? Of course I do. Well, when he was in middle school, he lived in my hometown of 96, South Carolina, and was friends with my parents. He was even my mom's boyfriend when they were in sixth grade. Your mom dated Les Nesman. So is this a character from the show? Oh, you don't know who Les Nessman is? Oh God, you gotta watch that. Jeff will watch K-pop Demon Hunter, and you will watch an episode or three of WKRP in Cincinnati, which is one of the best shows that's ever been written.

SPEAKER_00: 42:34

My brother used to watch it. But for some reason, thought you and Jeff were then just talking about somebody you knew from camp and that his mom had dated somebody from Camp. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03: 42:43

Les Nesman.

SPEAKER_00: 42:44

I wasn't tracking.

SPEAKER_03: 42:45

He says, My dad said that Richard Sanders, the guy who played Les Nesman, had one of those big-wheeled bicycles called a penny farthing.

SPEAKER_00: 42:52

Oh, I know a penny farthing.

SPEAKER_03: 42:54

People thought he was strange for riding it. He was strange for riding it. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

SPEAKER_00: 42:59

If you do not know what a penny farthing looks like, please look it up and then imagine Jeff's mom's ex-boyfriend riding one.

SPEAKER_03: 43:06

We talked about smart cars, and Jeff, being a librarian, actually has a bit of wisdom for that. He says the term smart car came from a joint project between Swatch and Mercedes Benz.

SPEAKER_01: 43:17

Oh.

SPEAKER_03: 43:18

The goal was to combine Swatch's design and manufacturing with Mercedes Benz's engineering to create a new kind of small city car. It's an acronym for Swatch Mercedes Art.

SPEAKER_00: 43:29

That's interesting. I have I wanted a Swatch so badly. I got one, but I remember. Did you get a swatch? I wanted a Swatch.

SPEAKER_03: 43:38

No, I didn't. And that wasn't for me. He says, good luck this week. I'm actually excited because it's the last week before I have nine days off for Thanksgiving. I have two days off for Thanksgiving, Jeff. I'll be sticking around here in Houston and probably visiting the Gaborhood daily to be thankful for my daily intake of cocktails and muscle bears peas and cookies. If you out there spend any time in the Gaborhood, send us an email, familiarwilsons at gmail.com. Alright, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What did you think of that mess?

SPEAKER_00: 44:22

I mean, same mess, different days.

SPEAKER_03: 44:25

Alright, well, I'm gonna cut this real short here because I gotta edit this episode and then Amanda and I gotta get down.

SPEAKER_00: 44:32

No, my God, what is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_03: 44:35

And so here's our list of people without whom we would not be able to make this podcast for you every week. Thanks to Antonio, our lead diagnostic wizard, to Josh Scar, the head tire inflation specialist, to Danny Buckets, our fluid manager, and that's all I'm gonna say about that. To Chicken Tom, the assistant parts runner, to Monique from Germany, the Precision Alignman Specialist, to Joey, Joey, to Leo, the shop DJ and Vibe Technician, to Refine Gay Jeff, the Upholstery and Interior Couture Director, Ryan Baker, our break artist, Mark and Rachel, the co-manager of Tools That Are Missing, and to Dan and Gavin, the pit crew. And by pit crew, of course, I mean armpit.

SPEAKER_00: 45:18

Dan and Gavin smelled perfectly fine. Remember when you were worried about meeting our British friends and you were afraid they were gonna smell bad?

SPEAKER_04: 45:25

What's wrong with you?

SPEAKER_00: 45:28

What's wrong with me is that you told everybody I cleaned toilets, so we're gonna like you're like, but what if they smell funny? What's wrong with you? Alright. So folks, until next week. You have the power of the edit, just cut it out. I'm not cutting shit out.

SPEAKER_03: 45:48

They smelled very nice and they had good teeth as well. Um so in until next week, folks, be nice to be nice to everyone you meet.

SPEAKER_02: 46:04

Go be kind. Bye.

SPEAKER_03: 46:06

Bye.