"Lad, Geezer, Bloke or Chap" with Gavin Belson

Barbecue-sauce “arson,” a stadium that literally farts during fireworks, and a coffee order that could break up a marriage, welcome to another perfectly unhinged conversation with our friend Gavin. We compare UK and US chaos, ride the annual “Merry Christmas vs Happy Holidays” outrage carousel, and BBQ sauce.

Gavin walks us through award winning pub bathrooms and a cursed KFC restroom, we investigate why the London Velodrome whoops like a cartoon character during fireworks, and we palate cleanse with cheese rolling, dog dancing, and a beautifully sloppy Rod Stewart clip.

Our AITA segment features the domestic battle of the season: a simple offer of coffee turns into a barista-level demand with foam and syrups. Hospitality or entitlement? You decide. Gavin also gives a quick field guide to British masculinity: lad, bloke, chap, geezer, and a music rec you’ll want in your playlist.

If you laughed, cringed, or yelled “Emily, make your own coffee,” follow, review, and tell us: lad, bloke, chap, or geezer?

Super Familiar with The Wilsons
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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Gavin Returns
• 1:31 Diagnose Me, But Not My Rash
• 4:04 UK Vs US: Division, Guns, And Politics
• 8:16 Christmas Wars And Salvation Army Dust-Up
• 9:28 Barbecue Sauce Arson And Mugshot Lore
• 12:30 Award-Winning Toilets And Bathroom Nightmares
• 16:04 The Velodrome That Farts
• 18:47 Cheese Rolling, Dog Dancing, And Rod Stewart
• 19:55 AITA: The Barista Mother-In-Law
• 24:58 Gaycations, Boundaries, And Double Standards
• 28:04 Lad, Bloke, Chap, Geezer: A Field Guide
• 31:40 Recs: Ben Kidson And Sappy Christmas Movies
• 34:40 Tech Meltdown, Thanks, And Where To Find Gavin

Transcript

SPEAKER_05: 0:00

Familiar Wilson's Media. Relationships are the story.

SPEAKER_02: 0:07

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

SPEAKER_05: 0:10

The following podcast uses words like and and also woo. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.

SPEAKER_03: 0:19

Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_05: 0:20

Run.

SPEAKER_03: 0:23

Super familiar with Super Familiar with the Wilsons.

SPEAKER_08: 0:32

I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_05: 0:33

I'm Josh. And I'm Gavin.

SPEAKER_08: 0:36

That's Gavin. Hi, Gavin.

SPEAKER_05: 0:38

And we are the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

SPEAKER_08: 0:42

And all the side quests, which just involves Gavin. Gavin is a side quest.

SPEAKER_05: 0:48

We are absolutely not having a side quest with Gavin. I don't roll that direction.

SPEAKER_08: 0:53

I meant making friends through podcasting is one of the side quests.

SPEAKER_05: 0:59

But friends or quote friends.

SPEAKER_08: 1:02

I mean, whatever you guys do in your own time when you go over there without me, it's all your business, not mine.

SPEAKER_05: 1:06

Yes, what happens in London stays in London. Just ask Boris Johnson. Friends, if you've not heard uh us uh have Gavin on before, he is practically an honorary Wilson. Um, he is one half of the Be There With Belson podcast, and we have him on to opine about all things British and football, which is soccer, weirdly, and just other things as well. Gavin, welcome now. Straight uh on the off. I have a question for you. Um, you are a nurse practitioner, correct? I am, yes. All right, so Amanda has this headache.

SPEAKER_08: 1:41

Yeah, Josh's big idea today is to have you diagnose me.

SPEAKER_00: 1:45

Hmm. That's gonna be tough from here, but okay.

SPEAKER_08: 1:48

The thing is, is I already know what it is, so it's fine.

SPEAKER_00: 1:50

Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_08: 1:51

So it's more game time for you now.

SPEAKER_05: 1:54

I'm curious if you can um if you can diagnose her. But first of all, are you on our insurance? Gotta know that first.

SPEAKER_00: 2:02

Uh, I would say I'm probably not. No.

SPEAKER_06: 2:05

This is really out of network. Like way, way out of network.

SPEAKER_05: 2:08

So the out of pocket would be pretty tremendous? Yes. All right. Well, fuck that then. Never mind. Do you get people asking you a lot to diagnose them, by the way?

SPEAKER_00: 2:16

At work, yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_05: 2:17

That's pretty much what they do.

SPEAKER_08: 2:19

That's kind of why you're there.

SPEAKER_05: 2:21

No, and yet, or do you not tell people what you do for fear that they're gonna have you want to look at their rash?

SPEAKER_00: 2:26

I I don't mind people asking. I don't a lot of my answers will be maybe you should see your doctor about that. Yeah. And then it'll be what do you think it is? And I'll say there's several things it could be.

SPEAKER_08: 2:40

I don't think that I want random people just showing you their rashes. I don't like that.

SPEAKER_05: 2:44

I think he might want it. That's better than Tinder.

SPEAKER_08: 2:46

Those things are typically contagious.

SPEAKER_05: 2:49

You're talking about the people on Tinder?

SPEAKER_00: 2:51

Yeah, I don't get a lot of people randomly showing me rashes, but they will tell me about things.

SPEAKER_05: 2:56

It's a that would be an amazing new social dating app. Just you have the person's profile and it's just a picture of like some sort of rash that they have.

SPEAKER_08: 3:05

What's you see how much he entertains himself?

SPEAKER_05: 3:08

Okay, thank you for yes anding.

SPEAKER_08: 3:10

No, I was listening you say yes and a lot, but I don't think you actually mean what you think you mean. You just want me to agree with you and then be like, yes, that is the best thing you have ever said. Why would you want to hook up with a rash?

SPEAKER_05: 3:23

I mean, you don't hook up with the rash per se, but if it's a small rash and the rest of the how you don't know if all you see is just the thumbnail of the rash. Gavin would be able to tell though, he's an expert.

SPEAKER_08: 3:34

I don't Gavin, please don't please don't attend this this website or an ordating app that Josh is concocting.

SPEAKER_00: 3:42

I'm gonna say I don't want to invest in this website. No, um I don't think it's got legs. Of course it has legs.

SPEAKER_08: 3:48

Now the legs are probably covered with push jewels, but no shark tank and lion sin have cut you down.

SPEAKER_05: 3:54

Um so Gavin, as you might be able to uh tell folks if this is your first time hearing him, because it's been a while since you've been on. He is he is from a foreign country. And um and how is life in the UK right now? And is it as thrilling as life in the United States?

SPEAKER_00: 4:11

I don't know, because I obviously I don't live in the United States. Um it's not great. Um, there is way too much division. Um I think it's fairly similar in that way. There's a lot of anger about people are getting angry about things they shouldn't get angry about. I get frustrated with people, and then I spend a day on I'm still gonna say Twitter, um, shouting at racists, and then don't feel much better about myself, but every now and then I have to let it out.

SPEAKER_05: 4:42

I think worldwide, globally, everyone's on edge right now, right? We can all agree with with everyone is about a half a step away of committing some sort of of crime against another person.

SPEAKER_08: 4:52

Or just like crawling under their bed and never coming back out again. You either like I feel like you either go angry or sad, and so it just depends on on which way you go, but yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 5:02

Did you did you listen to last week's program, Gavin? Because I um I actually saw me a real life cowboy uh in the bookstore. Did you hear this?

SPEAKER_00: 5:11

Oh, yes, with the gun.

SPEAKER_08: 5:13

Yeah, yeah, isn't that great?

SPEAKER_00: 5:15

No.

SPEAKER_08: 5:16

So you don't have that.

SPEAKER_00: 5:18

No, no, there's there's less uh definitely less chance of me bumping into someone with a gun in the bookstore in general.

SPEAKER_08: 5:25

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00: 5:26

What's the thinking there? Why do you need a gun to buy a book?

SPEAKER_08: 5:30

Unless it's a book about the gun and you need to hold the gun, reference the gun to make sure you're getting the right model. It's just all it's all about control and dominance and feeling like I want to do this so I can. It's crazy. They and and we just have, well, I mean, do you have a megalomaniac ruler over there? Because we do. And even though we don't have a monarchy, we kind of he thinks we do.

SPEAKER_00: 5:54

Yeah, no, we don't, we don't. We have um an inept prime minister, um and a man who wants to be prime minister, who is a horrendous human being. Um that is Farage, yeah. Um, but we do have hope now in the form of the Green Party leader, Zach Polansky, who is um a gay Jewish man who is now the new leader of the Green Party, um, who is uh really great because he speaks like a human rather than all the sound bites and stuff, you ask him a question, he will give you an answer. And he is currently the most popular uh political leader in the under-fifties. So there is hope at the moment, and he is our hope.

SPEAKER_05: 6:50

So let me ask you a question. Day-to-day living, do you think that England in general is more civil than the United States?

SPEAKER_00: 6:59

I think generally, bizarrely, maybe, because it's not the way that it's portrayed, if you go to a very working class area, um I th generally people are nicer um and more tolerant. Um, but it's always portrayed like it's those those are the people that are getting angry about about the immigrants and stuff like that. But they these are people that have grown up and lived among immigrant communities for decades and there's never been any problem.

SPEAKER_05: 7:28

So you said you were yelling at racists on Twitter or whatever the hell it's called these days, X or Z or whatever. What's the latest thing that that the right wing racists are on about that you have to yell at them for?

SPEAKER_00: 7:41

Oh no, it's about um what um uh right wing racists get angry about at certain times of the year, and it's currently Christmas.

SPEAKER_05: 7:50

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 7:50

Why are you mad they're mad about Christmas?

SPEAKER_05: 7:52

Why are they angry at Christmas?

SPEAKER_00: 7:54

It's like their holiday, isn't it? Well, no, no, no. They are angry because um Christmas, the word Christmas isn't used enough. It says winter tree or something. We went through this here.

SPEAKER_05: 8:06

Yeah, we that was like 10 years ago or something for us.

SPEAKER_00: 8:08

Oh, it's every year. Every year we go round and round because um people are morons. I don't know.

SPEAKER_08: 8:16

Mamon had a full-on boycott of Target, which was very hard for me in my 20s when this happened, because they said happy holidays and stopped saying Merry Christmas, and because they stopped letting the Salvation Army ring the bell outside. And now, Salvation Army, they do good for people, but they're also very homophobic. So that's a thing. Um, but they she used to ring the bell, like it was a thing that she used to do when she retired, and it was very important to her. Target stopped doing it because it was becoming like quite aggressive to people who weren't like giving money. So they made a giant donation to the salvation army and stopped the ringing, and she was not here for it, did not want to hear it. So, yeah, we get we get we get that over here too.

SPEAKER_00: 9:03

I wouldn't back them in a fight with a salvation army. I think any army takes in.

SPEAKER_07: 9:10

That's true. They'll come with their little bells.

SPEAKER_03: 9:28

So now a story about barbecue sauce.

SPEAKER_08: 9:31

Is that what we're talking about next?

SPEAKER_05: 9:32

Well, yeah. We're gonna seamlessly flow into this news story here.

SPEAKER_08: 9:36

Well, you brought it, you listen, you want oh god, I don't want to I just saw that man's mugshot and I don't want to know this story.

SPEAKER_05: 9:42

I don't think there's such a thing as a good mugshot. We're not at our best.

SPEAKER_00: 9:45

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, there are good mugshots. There's there's whole accounts about hot mugshots.

SPEAKER_08: 9:52

Oh, it's is this a dating app you're on?

SPEAKER_00: 9:55

It's not, but I mean there's some where you look at them and you go, I could change them.

SPEAKER_05: 10:01

Oh, Gavin. Now we know uh what you do with your time. But look at this gentleman right here.

SPEAKER_00: 10:07

Okay, yeah. Can you change him? Um, I mean, no, probably not to. I don't that's it. I don't want to.

SPEAKER_08: 10:15

Right.

SPEAKER_05: 10:16

Uh that is betraying your oath. Okay, so this is uh uh from uh local newspaper here. Gainesville man arrested for breaking into home and spraying barbecue sauce on the walls and furniture before house caught on fire. What that is a headline. That is a headline, boy. You've got condiments and houses catching on the fire.

SPEAKER_07: 10:36

Did were the condiments flammable?

SPEAKER_05: 10:38

Oh, I would suppose so. The fire didn't go out.

SPEAKER_08: 10:42

Okay, see, mental health resources. This is what we're talking about, were not available to this gentleman.

SPEAKER_05: 10:47

So the first sentence is that this gentleman, age 20 of Gainesville, was arrested yesterday morning after allegedly breaking into a house and spraying barbecue sauce on the walls and furniture before the house got fire. Arson charges may be filed. You think now I I really want to talk about several things with this article, but I think what I want to talk about the most is the the degradation of journalism in the world.

SPEAKER_08: 11:11

You can't you cannot hold the Gainesville Sun up as the pillar because that's gotten really this is not the Gainesville Sun, it's a smaller one.

SPEAKER_05: 11:19

They spend way too much time, paragraphs, talking about how the local equivalent of CSI tried to determine what the condiments were.

SPEAKER_07: 11:31

Just lick it.

SPEAKER_05: 11:32

Apparently, that was the important thing.

SPEAKER_00: 11:35

I mean, the thing that I took from that, seeing as you did show me his mugshot, was it said local man 20. Yes. 20? Yes.

SPEAKER_08: 11:44

Gentleman is 20.

SPEAKER_00: 11:45

Yes. He's had a hard life.

SPEAKER_08: 11:47

I was gonna say he's already had a hard life. And when they say arson charges may be filed, are we saying it might have been coincidental? It might have been correlational, but not causational. Like just there was a fire and barbecue sauce.

SPEAKER_05: 11:59

His initial story was that the house was on fire and he broke into it to put it out with barbecue sauce. That's not what it says. I think that he he is he is claiming that the barbecue sauce just happened to be there. Like, I don't know what these people do in their spare time. I was just trying to help them out by putting out their fire. But like I said, paragraphs and how they they were tried to determine what condiments they were.

SPEAKER_07: 12:23

Maybe that's their kink.

SPEAKER_00: 12:26

This kink. Maybe they're sponsored.

SPEAKER_05: 12:30

Oh, that is amazing. There you go. What if that's the new thing? Like you do a crime and you get that sponsored. I mean, everything else is sponsored. Your Instagram feed can be sponsored. What if this is the first criminal influencer? So there you go. I think that that would probably beat any news story that you have coming out of Slough uh this week.

SPEAKER_00: 12:50

Um, I've just gone to the local um newspaper, and one of the stories is two Weatherspoon pubs in Berkshire win award for their toilets. So there you go. There's also um sorry, sorry, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What kind of like best toilets are we saying? Like uh it's gotta be well, uh it's an award, I doubt it's for the worst toilets.

SPEAKER_08: 13:12

Um I mean they have those Darwin awards for dude.

SPEAKER_00: 13:16

They have the Razzie Awards for films that serve so they were recognized in the 2025 Liew of the Year Awards. Criteria include decor, maintenance, cleanliness, accessibility, hand washing, and drying equipment, and overall management. That's a UK-based award, I'm afraid.

SPEAKER_08: 13:33

Yeah, see, let me tell you who's not winning that award because I took Winthrop to a KFC and somewhere in London. I think we might have been near Soho, I'm not sure where we were, because Muffy was in a store and all of a sudden Winthrop was like, I have to go. And in the UK, you gotta buy patronize a place to be able to use the bathroom. Not very many public toilets available, right? So I ran into the KFC across the street because he was it was going to be emergent very soon. Bought, I don't know, like popcorn chicken or something, got the code to go upstairs. It was the most disgusting place that I have ever been in. Had to put him in a stall because he was at the time, I don't know, he's like six or something, and the door didn't lock. So he's in there trying to use the bathroom. This woman comes in, opens the door on him, he's sitting there, and she screams and yells, it's like a horror film and runs out. I mean, the whole thing was just traumatic for all of us, but it was gross, it was really bad. Does that track with KFC? You don't go, you're a vegan, you don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 14:35

I don't know. Um, yeah, I think so kind of central central London sort of places, they might have the codes for the doors and stuff like that. Um, if you get outside of their places, just tend to not have the codes so you can just use them.

SPEAKER_05: 14:50

What uh this is what I don't understand about how humans are stupid. Don't you dare charge for going to the bathroom in a place but make public urination or defecation illegal? Because if you gotta go, you gotta go, right? So basically you're saying you are in however many square miles of London, let's say, or any big city where it's very difficult to find uh a bathroom. You got a kid, what are you gonna do if like you left your wallet somewhere, your wallet gets stolen? You know, I'm not even putting it in like the the dire terms of being homeless. Like something happened and you don't have your money, right? But you really gotta go, or your kids gotta go. What what's what what's your choice? I don't know. Terrible.

SPEAKER_00: 15:36

Welcome to our comedy podcast, folks. Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say, really brought the seriousness today, haven't we?

SPEAKER_08: 15:43

All right, so somebody won uh the pubs won Besslu. What was the other? You you started to say something about another artist.

SPEAKER_00: 15:49

Oh, uh the the actual top story was uh slough man 48 arrested after retail park, car park, flashing reported. So that's your top story. He was 48, so it wasn't it wasn't Dan. Um and he was uh this is uh between 2 and 2.30 on a Thursday.

SPEAKER_07: 16:10

PM?

SPEAKER_05: 16:11

Yeah. Here's something else that I learned about uh London recently. Uh Gavin, are you familiar with the Velodrome? The Velodrome The Olympic Velodrome. Oh, in Stratford. Is that East London? Yeah. Okay. It's like a giant Pringle uh potato chip shaped building that was built for the Olympics for, I believe, cycling, I think is what the Velodrome is. Does that sound right, Gavin? That's right, yeah. The cycling was there. Yeah, yeah. So this is what I found out about it. This is the headline. Building farts when fireworks are set off near it. So that beats the barbecue sauce story.

SPEAKER_08: 16:52

I have questions.

SPEAKER_05: 16:54

So apparently, you know, that the you know, they set off fireworks near it, and people are like, why, you know, they're hearing the farts. The farts are coming out of the building. And the it's an unusually shaped building. Like I said, it's shaped like a Prinkle. The ductwork is such in that unusually shaped building that whenever there's a loud noise, it echoes through there and creates farting sounds. Now, I need to know if that's a bug or a feature, because I contend that that would be just a cool ass thing that they built in.

SPEAKER_08: 17:24

I mean, I think 12-year-old boys everywhere find it funny, but I don't know about the rest of us.

SPEAKER_00: 17:29

I think that might be quite a problem though, because it's in the Olympic Park. Um, so that's there. They had the copper box where they had um the boxing stuff like that. They've got the Olympic Stadium where they had the athletics, which is now West Ham United's football ground. They had a swimming place that was all in one place.

SPEAKER_05: 17:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 17:47

Um, but they now hold concerts and stuff at the Olympic Park. So it's probably quite a lot of pyrotechnics going off.

SPEAKER_05: 17:55

Yeah. I think that that would might be appropriate for some bands. Always book you two in that in that stadium.

SPEAKER_08: 18:01

But I would feel as a performer, like I need to be like, that's the building. Like, I would need to make sure people knew it wasn't me.

SPEAKER_00: 18:06

That's it's the building, it's not Rod Stewart up there, folks. Whenever I think of Rod Stewart, I think of um one thing, and this is quite niche, but it's worth looking up. So they got Rod Stewart to do the Scottish Cup draw, and he is clearly drunk when he's doing it. Um, so if you Googled um Rod Stewart's Scottish Cup draw, it's a couple of minutes of a man behaving ridiculously, and what it's supposed to be quite a serious occasion.

SPEAKER_08: 18:33

Okay, I'll look that up.

SPEAKER_00: 18:35

That's Gavin's recommendation.

SPEAKER_05: 18:41

So it's they weren't trying to find the cheese. They're trying to catch the cheese. Trying to catch the cheese.

SPEAKER_08: 18:46

But it was like made it was made like an actual documentary.

SPEAKER_05: 18:48

It was some show on Netflix that's like it's a show called We Are the Champions that follows unusual sporting events around the world. And this week's thing was dog dancing, Gavin. If you want to check that out.

SPEAKER_08: 19:00

Oh, I might be interested in dog dancing.

SPEAKER_05: 19:02

But the first one was a 30-minute doc about the cheese rolling down. Is it Gloucester? Where is it? Gloucester.

SPEAKER_00: 19:09

Glouc Gloucester, got it. Um, yeah, it's famous. Um uh people get hurt all the time. Oh, yeah, of course they do. It's amazing. Nobody actually ever catches the cheese.

SPEAKER_08: 19:20

No, but it's like the first one down wins, though, right?

SPEAKER_00: 19:23

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08: 19:24

Are they all drunk when they do it? Does that help not?

SPEAKER_00: 19:28

I don't think they are, but I it would make sense that you could be a little more relaxed, so you might damage yourself less. Less, yes. But you're running wouldn't be so good.

SPEAKER_08: 19:37

So it's uh this is the problem. This is why your fingers messed up. You weren't you weren't drunk while you were I wasn't drunk enough. Yeah, you weren't drunk enough when you're when you were tending goal. All right, so Rod Stewart, Scottish Cup, we'll add that to our viewing list.

SPEAKER_05: 19:50

All right, so we now have a an edition of Am I the Asshole? Okay, so this is where I read a a story off the Am I the Asshole Reddit, and you all tell me what you think. Am I the Asshole for not making my daughter-in-law coffee and telling her I'm not a barista? My son and daughter-in-law, and then she says Emily, she name checked Emily because she's bitter, but not her son's name, interestingly, are staying in our home probably for the next month due to water damage in their home. They've only been here less than a week, and I'm having an issue. I work nights, I come back home at 6 30 and then go to bed. My husband is usually up, so I make him a coffee or breakfast um before I turn in.

SPEAKER_08: 20:32

Why is he not making his own stuff?

SPEAKER_05: 20:34

Because it's 6 a.m. She's because she's a nice person.

SPEAKER_08: 20:37

Which is not to Emily.

SPEAKER_05: 20:38

No, well, but there's hang on, wait a second. I asked my son and Emily if they would also like coffee or breakfast before they go to work. They say uh no to food, but they said yes to coffee. That was easy, and I made two extra cups. I asked them to tell me how they wanted their coffee. I thought they would just tell me use this cream, or they had a preference on blend. Au contraire, mon frère. Emily texted me last night and said she left instructions for the coffee. This morning I come home to a very detailed uh list of instructions how to make a complex coffee. It was like a Starbucks drink. She wanted foam milk on top, different syrups, a specific coffee bean, ground fresh, and a different brewing method. We have a drip coffee machine. Most of the stuff was on the counter. I decided I wasn't doing that and just made the normal coffee. She was not happy and we got into an argument before she went to work. I basically told her I'm not a Starbucks barista and I'm not going to do all that. She told me I shouldn't have offered it in the first place if I wouldn't make the coffee to her liking.

unknown: 21:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_05: 21:39

I have been getting texts from my son about not being hospitable. So I'm having trouble sleeping at the moment.

SPEAKER_08: 21:45

All right, Emily's being a little bit of a diva, though.

SPEAKER_05: 21:48

Like a little bit?

SPEAKER_08: 21:49

Emily. Right. Go to Starbucks and get your special drink. The woman, she's not gonna do a pour-over or whatever. Pour overs take forever. If you're coming home off a off a shift and you need to go to sleep, you know, you don't have patients for pourovers. No, Emily, no, Emily's wrong.

SPEAKER_05: 22:07

Uh, but the the wrinkle here is that the mother-in-law asked them how they wanted it. Emily went out and purchased all of the things that are needed to make it the way she wanted it. Gavin, instantly, what do you think?

SPEAKER_00: 22:21

I think if Emily wants it that way, she can make it that way. Um it's unreasonable. Um if someone's offering to make you coffee, then sure, that's nice. But it's they're literally just offering to make you a straightforward coffee. They're not also this woman, I'm assuming, is not trained.

SPEAKER_07: 22:41

Uh such a trained brewster.

SPEAKER_00: 22:44

No, so she's not gonna make it the way she wants anyway. Um Emily needs to grow up.

SPEAKER_05: 22:52

Yes. Can we talk a little bit about the the focus of my thing in this story? And that's the son. Backing up the wife instead of the mother. Big time fail. This this relationship is is not going places, it ain't gonna last.

SPEAKER_08: 23:08

Okay, well, speaking as somebody who married 1.0, that son backed up the mother instead of the daughter-in-law all of the time, and that caused a big issue. So I can see how I I think he needs to be like, listen, Emily, you need to calm down. You make your coffee or I'll make your coffee, but then like to the mom being like, yep, no, she was wrong, but thank you. But like, I no, the wife needs to feel a little supported too, even though she's being she's being the asshole. So I don't know that I think that you're saying that that marriage is gonna be over if he's backing up the wife and not the mom, because if you go the other way, that marriage is gonna be over too.

SPEAKER_05: 23:49

No, I'm saying that the daughter-in-law is clearly being unreasonable. So it's time for him to step up and say, Look, you gotta you gotta change your ways.

SPEAKER_00: 23:59

I think that the risk is that the uh marriage continues, but the relationship with the mother is the the thing that fails. And then you end up with just those that they end up isolating themselves from the rest of the family over coffee, um, which is just stupid.

SPEAKER_08: 24:19

I mean, if you're gonna isolate yourself from your family, it might as well be over racism or something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 24:25

Very, very, very good. Well, in case the mother is listening right now, which there's a good chance that that she is, what advice would we give her?

SPEAKER_00: 24:35

Um I would say uh well, advice. I just don't make her any coffee. Just it's fine.

SPEAKER_08: 24:42

Well, I would I would say, listen, if you're gonna offer something, you need to be very specific. So when you say how do you take your coffee, what you really need to say is, I'm happy to make you coffee, there's cream and sugar, there's cream in the fridge, there's sugar on the counter, I'm making you coffee, you do what you want with it. Like, why did she need to say how do you take your coffee? Just go ahead and make your own coffee. Right?

SPEAKER_05: 25:05

Right, but I'm just again, I'm just I would suggest that the mother say, Look, you know, I really don't want to screw this up, I don't want to make it badly. Um, that's why, you know, I or no.

SPEAKER_07: 25:16

No, because then Emily will teach her.

SPEAKER_05: 25:17

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I've got it. Oh, Jesus, why didn't I think about this? She does it once, makes it so vile that Emily never asks her again. The worst thing that could happen at that point is Emily maybe asks for a refund on her materials. But you just, you just it you give her this just utterly disgusting, vile, like green steam coming out, this shambolic drink, and Emily will never ask again and likely apologize for having her.

SPEAKER_08: 25:46

I'm not so sure Emily's ready to apologize for anything, but okay.

SPEAKER_05: 25:49

No, I've solved it. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_08: 25:51

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 25:54

Does remind me that I will have to send you did was that from Reddit? Yes. I'll have to send you um uh a story which became quite viral and is just insane, but you probably don't want to talk about it on here. Oh, well, you can't do that. What is what have you just done there? Well, okay, so it's uh I'll briefly summarise because it's quite long. Um, a woman whose uh husband asked, so they've got a couple of kids, asked to speak to her, saying that he's going uh away with the boys on a gay occasion. Um and um it's a thing that all men are drawn to, and that this is a common thing for for all straight men. It doesn't mean he's gay if they do gay things, um and um it is not cheating on her at all because it's with a man. Um it's a it's a whole long read, but um it also involve turns out it involves um her sister-in-law as well. Like that there's a thing with her husband, they go to the third the third one, they ask that husband, and he's like, What the hell are you all talking about? Um apparently they did try and encourage him to come to a men's only away thing, and he said, Nah, that doesn't sound like it's for me. He didn't understand what they were getting at, and it's quite quite heavily involves fetish stuff as well. So it's a whole thing, but basically he didn't understand what they were getting at.

SPEAKER_08: 27:32

Does that mean that he would be interested if he understood it?

SPEAKER_00: 27:34

Oh no, no, no, he's he's out, he's not interested at all. He's not he's not out, actually.

SPEAKER_08: 27:40

Uh well maybe he's out as straight, like this is he is straight.

SPEAKER_00: 27:43

Yes, he is he is straight, and he has no interest in no interest in going on this uh little trip that apparently all men are drawn to.

SPEAKER_07: 27:52

Um when is your vacation happening?

SPEAKER_08: 27:55

I just need to know so I can schedule it.

SPEAKER_07: 27:57

Wait, is that what happened when you went to England?

SPEAKER_05: 28:00

Uh yeah, is that what in the room with all of the men? Really awkward way for you to bring this up. Well, let's ask Refine Gay Jeff um what he thinks about this whole idea of uh because I know he goes on vacations, but it's definitely, you know, it's different than all that.

SPEAKER_08: 28:16

All of the men are openly gay and and um willing participants. I don't see here's the thing. I feel like society tries to put people in very binary situations, right? You're gay or you're straight, you're male or you're female, whatever. And I think there's probably quite the continuum along the way, right? And I don't know that I think those are all societal constructs. I think there are people who land squarely in, I am not attracted to, you know, men or women or non-binary or whatever. Like there are people who are land very squarely, and then there are people maybe who don't. But if you want to explore that side of yourself, I don't think the way to talk to your wife about this is I'm gonna go on vacation, I'll be back. Like it's a it's a thing that you gotta like talk about in therapy, like this is a thing.

SPEAKER_00: 29:03

So this is this is the thing about it as well. So she then says, Well, if you're away for that week, can I I'll see other men then? And he gets very upset and starts crying and saying, I can't believe you'll cheat on me like that. So that's that's an issue as well.

SPEAKER_08: 29:20

That's a problem.

SPEAKER_05: 29:22

Oh, so it do you have an opinion on gay cations? Give us uh uh an email, familiarwilsons at gmail.com. I have a question for you. I want you to tell me the difference between a chap, a bloke, a lad, and a geezer. Hmm. Okay. Because uh, you and I had this conversation too. Um, and I I know what a lad is. A lad is like a bro.

SPEAKER_08: 29:52

They go on gay cation.

SPEAKER_05: 29:53

No, no, maybe they do. That's a different different different kind of lad. But I think that's the one I have nailed is that uh no punishment.

SPEAKER_00: 30:00

intended is that a is that a lad is like a like your bro like your frat bro even if they're they're older is that correct yeah I mean no that's that's fair enough uh they they are they are younger okay so that's lad but how about chap bloke and geezer how can I properly affix those to different people that I know okay so let's go geezer's probably I mean it's not used that that often um but they would be um trying to think of a way of saying it without using other kind of similar things like I'd be like a little bit of a wide boy but that doesn't really help. A wide boy write that down white boy they'd be quite um quite a manly man.

SPEAKER_08: 30:52

Oh that's interesting. Here in the US geezer means like an old man like an old grumpy guy.

SPEAKER_00: 30:58

Yeah yeah yeah I mean you could if you put old in front of it you could probably use that but um maybe in the kind of football hooligan kind of area um they might be doing slightly dodgy things on the edges of criminality Jamie Tart's dad is what I'm getting out of this.

SPEAKER_08: 31:20

Okay yeah he doesn't get that reference no it's a Ted Lasso reference but yes okay uh but he's like the dad of the football guy who like comes into the locker room and berates his son uh after a really bad match and like will beat people up in the stands and be drunk and kind of that that sounds fatty.

SPEAKER_05: 31:40

Yeah so would be would a geezer be an old lad you a good way of yeah I guess very good. So we got two two on the the spectrum of toxic masculinity there. Alright so bloke and chap.

SPEAKER_00: 31:55

Now bloke I I mean I might use bloke for any man to be honest. Okay. It's not a bad thing. Um you'd be like oh he's a good bloke I he's a nice bloke. Or like we would use guy like oh he's a nice guy dude um and then chap was the last one wasn't it chap is a little more uh is a little posher um very good it's quite uh upper class and old fashioned um um so yeah you it's not one that you would use necessarily well I wouldn't use like sir no it's more like um whereas I might say um oh I was with some mates or something like that they would say oh I saw the chaps um that it's that sort of thing is okay so just upper class yeah it feels like um what's his name's dad that they do the show together the Whitehall Jack Whitehall and his dad yeah I mean his his his his dad would say chap.

SPEAKER_08: 32:57

Yeah yeah that's what that feels like I have to orient it in the like you know the the media we get out of the UK diabetes no one likes to be told what to do.

SPEAKER_00: 33:07

Gavin do you have any recommendations for um oh um do you want some do you want a music one? It's quite a new quite a new artist I don't know I I'm gonna go see him in January. Uh it's a guy called Ben Kidson. Um I'm not sure what you'll make of it. Can you spell it? Uh Ben B-E-N Jackass. Uh Kidson K-I-D-S-O-N okay very good um yeah quite uh well certainly new to me and I don't think he's he's uh his album's not out yet um but there's a few songs and I really like them he's quite talky in his singing I guess is the way it's not quite it's not quite rap it's not quite singing it's just speech in a way I guess but um uh he talks about there's one about um it's called Back on the Apps which is about uh going back on dating apps after a breakup and some of the lines uh I just think are very clever um um and yeah he's got a couple more that have come out and I thought what's oh you know what I saw he was playing and so I'm gonna go and see him in January. Very nice very nice I played the song to Dan I don't think he liked him.

SPEAKER_08: 34:24

So that's a recommendation in itself absolutely after this um I don't have a recommendation but I have a follow-up from last week's recommendation go ahead when I recommended the um champagne problems um Netflix Christmas movie yes I got a text last night at 10 or no at like 830 from Refine Gay Jeff saying I'm about to start champagne problems and um and then as immediately when it was over I got oh my god I loved it so much with all capital letters so I'm just saying I make really good sappy Christmas movie recommendations so if you didn't go watch it you might as well watch it now it has the Refined Gay Jeff approval.

SPEAKER_05: 35:06

I think Refined Gay Jeff should have his own podcast but that's just me all right well thank you all for those recommendations I will check out Ben Kidson I will not check out Champagne whatever the fuck you talked about so this last time didn't you yeah exactly um very good thank you all right so Amanda and Gavin that's all there is there is no more what did you think of that absolute cabbage of a podcast record I enjoy just chatting with Gavin.

SPEAKER_00: 35:44

I don't really know what you need to make out of it oh you want my opinion yes please now you say next thing back to me yeah no I I I always enjoy talking to you two um and it had been a while um and you didn't quiz me about my love life which is different oh you want me to I like I said to Josh you can ask me anything I don't mind but um he's already said that's all there is no back for more yeah we'll have to do this again um I do think that it's gonna be tricky for you Josh because uh of some technical issues um putting it together might be yeah um and I don't know how much comedy there was in your comedy podcast this week why can't they be any different than every other week let's just just be happy that uh you know that the people who listen decide to keep listening that's all I have to say about that um all right so we got the list of people without whom we would not be able to produce this podcast which that's a lie we'd still be able to do it when you say that it just wouldn't be uh so much fun but I genuinely want to thank Antonio and Matt and Danny buckets and chicken tom chicken tom was supposed to come on this week but I forgot so I forgot so I forgot so I forgot so I forgot so I forgot so I forgot so I forgot so I forgot so I forgot all right so we're back and for those of you listening I want to give you a little insight I have this this platform called Riverside that I record video podcasts with and I've done it for like a year and no problem right but now I'm having many problems with it.

SPEAKER_08: 37:27

Is it me or is it Gavin?

SPEAKER_05: 37:28

Which one of this is it no neither it's the platform itself because when I record my podcast with John Spence Notes for an awesome life with John Spence which Gavin you need to be listening to that because it'll sort you right out um have you heard it have you listened? Absolutely no I'll be honest with you no rather honest I mean I I can see who's listening so I knew the answer before I asked I ask it um to put him on blast anyway uh this is like a cool project that I'm doing about having a better life and it's important to me and I cannot use this platform to record with me and John because John now John is like a global whatever right he records stuff all the time with other people but whenever he gets on this platform it glitches out and I keep telling him John it must be your thing because I record with this all the time and I don't have problems. Now with Gavin we're just having debate it's just a problem after problem.

SPEAKER_08: 38:26

So have you you've just blamed Gavin and you blame John.

SPEAKER_05: 38:29

You're not blaming the blaming the platform okay are you are you saying that I am also a global whatever you are a global whatever in that you're not here in this country sure that that would apply that's not as prestigious as maybe you would think but there you go so I'm not even gonna edit this bit out like I'm not gonna hide any of this this is folks again this is Riverside I don't think that I can recommend it and if I didn't pay for it which by the way I'm paying for this oh good um I would I would get off of this shit right now.

SPEAKER_00: 39:02

So Riverside you done failed me how far along in my list did we get Gavin um I you said Chicken Tom Chicken Tom was supposed to be on this week and then that was it.

SPEAKER_08: 39:14

And then you forgot and invited Gavin instead yeah so now I feel bad.

SPEAKER_05: 39:18

Yeah no not your fault you didn't do it no no no no um anyway uh chicken tom hey how you doing buddy uh joshcar Ryan Baker Monique from Germany Justin Joey Joey Refined Gay Jeff Mark and Rachel and of course Dan and Gavin thank you all very very much for your ongoing support um all right Gavin uh go ahead and and let people know how they can find more of you oh um it sounded I mean hot didn't I mean podcasting not I I mean I oh okay fine I'm just gonna say I I am on the apps um are you really you shouldn't have said that are you really on the apps?

SPEAKER_00: 39:57

I am but like then like your listeners aren't gonna find me that they'd have to set their range quite wide um oh what do we what do we have wide for the apps?

SPEAKER_08: 40:06

What now are you on the rash apps?

SPEAKER_00: 40:09

I'm uh no no I know I'm not gonna be on the rash apps and I'm not gonna support the rash app okay so folks do this for me I want you to go on all the apps and search for Gavin Belson B-E-L you can't find me that way oh are you anonymous no no no but wait won't have my surname for a start um okay but also yeah you can't search for individual people but you can search an area right so if I were to search an area yeah I you know I have your address right yeah you're not gonna dox him oh yeah it's fine I don't mind it's the worst that's gonna happen it might work out better for him than the apps listen there's a vacancy next to you somebody can move in if they want that's right yeah yeah um right so where can you find me uh so weekly podcast with my brother Dan who made a uh brief appearance but didn't actually say anything which is useful in an audio format honestly um anyway uh out every Monday be there with Belson uh you can find us through that although social media wise that is Dan as well mainly basically I'm in charge of the actual podcast and he does the social media thing is the idea so anything you see with my face put onto some small female pop star's body that's his work that's also on an app um but yeah um personally I mean Josh has given you my name you can find me that way all right Gavin well we uh we appreciate you and genuinely nice to see you.

SPEAKER_05: 41:48

You too all right folks go be kind.

SPEAKER_07: 41:52

Bye bye