"Whiskey the Cider Up, Please" The Christmas Episode featuring Muffy Wilson

It’s almost Christmas, and the Wilsons are doing what the holidays demand: attending suspiciously fancy work parties, negotiating drink-ticket economics, and discovering that nothing says “festive” like a giant Bluetooth speaker that could absolutely summon woodland cryptids on command.

Then the neighborhood stages a rare, beautiful moment of HOA solidarity (the kind that can only happen at 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday when everyone is fueled by spite and cold coffee). From there, Josh & Amanda take a wholesome detour into a cozy writers’ open mic where poetry is alive, weird, and somehow both comforting and alarming.

The episode also debuts a new segment that immediately proves why some segments should be left on the curb with the recycle truck (don’t microwave anything you respect). And finally: holiday music rankings, a “translate-the-song-title-into-a-science-paper” quiz, and a special guest who delivers Christmas takes and casually strolls into Stranger Things prediction territory like it’s a public park.

Cozy, chaotic, jolly mess. Exactly as intended.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons
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Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Chapters

• 0:00 Holiday Parties And Drink Tickets
• 2:45 Night Vs Day Work Parties
• 5:40 Giant Speaker And Prank Plans
• 9:50 HOA Power Struggles And Neighborhood Solidarity
• 15:20 Poetry Night And Spoken Word
• 19:10 The Dog Poem And Office Party Cautionary Tales
• 22:30 Random Facts: Microwaves, Spines, And Regrets
• 27:00 Welcoming Muffy: Favorite Christmas Songs
• 41:30 The Absurd Christmas Song Quiz

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Familiar Wilson's Media. Relationships are the story.

SPEAKER_02: 0:07

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

SPEAKER_01: 0:10

The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.

SPEAKER_04: 0:19

Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_01: 0:20

Run.

SPEAKER_04: 0:23

Super familiar with the Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.

SPEAKER_05: 0:30

I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_01: 0:31

And I'm Josh. It's almost Christmas, Amanda. We missed recording last week just because everything got in the way and we decided not to feel bad about it.

SPEAKER_05: 0:41

Yeah, we had a busy week, holiday parties and just things going on.

SPEAKER_01: 0:45

So many holiday parties. Your second work holiday party.

SPEAKER_05: 0:49

That was a good one, though.

SPEAKER_01: 0:50

Yeah, it was at the president's house.

SPEAKER_05: 0:54

Okay, so let's clarify it wasn't at the White House. It was at the University of Florida President's House, which is no longer where the president lives. It's just used for events. So uh but it's still called that. Very fancy. Super fancy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09

So we did that. And of course, I took advantage of the drink. But motherfuckers, they did not, they did not want to give me a drink today.

SPEAKER_05: 1:16

No, they did say they gave us. We've gotten aware, like we used to do open beer and wine, but because we've gotten so big, we have so many employees. Like when I first started working there, we had 30-something full-time employees, and now we're over 200, right? So they gave everybody two drink tickets. But this is the first year that the two drink tickets went only to associates. So I had to split my drink ticket with you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:38

Well, I also got one off of another person. Yeah, somebody else gave you one.

SPEAKER_05: 1:42

They were feeling they were feeling bad for you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44

Well, probably they also didn't want to drink. Um and then I uh so what I got was I went up to the bar and they had wine and beer. I didn't really feel like having either of those. And but they did have a thing of whiskey just to the side. Just to the bottom. Like with no mixers, unless the mixers were underneath, and I didn't see them. Just whiskey. Um, so I went around the other side, got some hot apple cider, and said, you need to whiskey this joker up. And so they did, and that was that was delightful. I really enjoyed that. Yeah, I had that too. There were woods on this property. See, we took Winthrop uh to this little party here, right? And and Muffy. And um we sent Winthrop into the woods.

SPEAKER_05: 2:24

No, we sent Winthrop to the wood line, but I told him he couldn't go into the woods.

SPEAKER_01: 2:28

You know that that he went into the woods.

SPEAKER_05: 2:29

He said he didn't because so uh one of our friends that I work with was out there with his kids and they went into the woods. And and my friend's wife looked at me and said, You told Winthrop not to go in the woods, and her husband immediately went into the woods with the kids. So I asked Winthrop if he went, and he said, No, you told me not to. So he listened.

SPEAKER_01: 2:48

He lied. He lied, is what he did.

SPEAKER_05: 2:50

No, he did not.

SPEAKER_01: 2:51

So that was fun. We went to my work party, which was I did not go to your work party. Okay, so here's the thing that I really I didn't think I would like it, but I really liked it. And last year we had a really nice one at this place called Spurriers that that's you know, Steve Spurrier was the headball coach. Headball coachball coach, headball coach of the uh of the Gators for a while. He's a local hero. He opened this restaurant, it's got a rooftop thing. So it was there last year. It was delightful. Yeah. This year they said, well, I think that we're gonna have the holiday uh director and manager Christmas party on campus during the day. And I'm like, no. It's no fun for anyone. No, I I it it just wouldn't have felt special. Right. It would have felt like I'm here at work and we're gonna be at this table for an hour, but then I gotta go back to my desk, which is right down the hallway. But this year, what they did was they blocked off an afternoon, I think starting at two, and they took us to a local restaurant, outdoor seating area. The weather was lovely, food was catered by that restaurant, and it was absolutely delightful. And I actually liked it better than the night thing.

SPEAKER_05: 3:57

Yeah, because I wasn't there.

SPEAKER_01: 3:58

No, I would have preferred that you were there, you would have really enjoyed it. No, but it's just the the night thing, it's at night and it's dark, and I don't like driving in the dark, and you get home and it's late and the rest of your day is gone, right?

SPEAKER_05: 4:09

Have you always not liked driving in the dark, or is this like a newer thing?

SPEAKER_01: 4:12

No, I used to actually love driving in the dark in Miami with the windows down, especially when I had to drive from homestead back north to South Miami where I lived. It was a delightful drive. I loved it. I think as I've gotten older, I just don't like to drive uh in the dark anymore for whatever reason. Um, but it was a delightful party. I enjoyed it very much, and we had the white Christmas, no, the white elephant, not the white Christmas exchange.

SPEAKER_05: 4:39

That is a that is a Christmas song we will discuss later.

SPEAKER_01: 4:42

Anyway, we had a white elephant gift exchange, and I won a giant, I mean it's really big. It's like probably what is that, like two foot tall work site. They they bought it at Home Depot, Work Site Bluetooth speaker.

SPEAKER_05: 4:56

Yeah, it's it's really big, it's a lot bigger than yeah, because neighbor Kate came out. You were playing, you were using it out in the green space behind the houses. No, actually. She commented about how it was a lot bigger than she thought it was gonna be.

SPEAKER_01: 5:08

What are we talking about? This is um special. Sorry, Kate. This is how I introduced it to our neighbors, Kate and Tony, is is I turned it on in our backyard and I walked over there and you know, I told them I have this speaker. And then I started to play uh animal noises through it. And uh decided that probably what I'd do is like random times during the night play like chimpanzees screaming and see what people think.

SPEAKER_05: 5:35

Peacocks just really loud, cats in heat.

SPEAKER_01: 5:38

Yeah, something like no, it has to be something that you wouldn't necessarily like a like a lion. Apparently, the lion doesn't sleep at night. Um, so anyway, I was very happy. All in all, best work uh Christmas party I've ever had. Very, very good.

SPEAKER_05: 5:54

I mean, again, it's probably because spouses were there, but that's cool.

SPEAKER_01: 5:57

Get out of here. You know who wasn't there is anyone who got drunk inappropriately and then got fired. Man, not that we're gonna talk about that.

SPEAKER_05: 6:04

That happened.

SPEAKER_01: 6:05

That did happen. Speaking of playing a speaker through the neighborhood, we had our big HOA annual meeting on Sunday. So if you're not aware, if you've not been following this drama, the developers of this neighborhood, which is like maybe one-fourth of the way done, they have control of the HOA until they no longer have majority ownership of all the houses, which at this point will be forever.

SPEAKER_05: 6:34

They haven't built a new house since what? 2020?

SPEAKER_01: 6:37

No, they've ripped some down. See our last opposite of building. So they have annual meetings that it's really a farce because the minutes are rarely correct and they don't really do anything based off of those meetings, but I think that they are obliged to have those meetings.

SPEAKER_05: 6:53

And they don't publicize them very well at all.

SPEAKER_01: 6:55

They don't publicize them because they don't want people to show up, and then also they have them the week before Christmas or maybe even the week of Christmas, and they have them Sunday morning at 9 a.m. Right.

SPEAKER_05: 7:05

So they're hoping everybody's at church or traveling or like no one's gonna be there.

SPEAKER_01: 7:09

And we've been fed up with these folks for the better part of since we've lived here, and it finally came to a head this year, and people are pissed, people are reporting things to code enforcement, and we were all like, we're going to this fucking meeting on Saturday at 9 a.m. And we all went, and it was a wonderful display of solidarity, probably didn't amount of much to anything except for maybe put these jokers on notice that we are paying attention and we expect that something will be done. So more news to follow. But that was the big excitement. All the neighbors came together. It felt felt nice being a part of a team. Yeah, it did.

SPEAKER_05: 7:46

No, it did. We dropped, we dropped Winthrop off over at Tony and Kate's because I had volunteered to keep all the children in the neighborhood so I didn't have to go to this thing because I had such anxiety over just like the social anxiety over this happening. Uh, I didn't tell I took a quarter of a Xanax before we went.

SPEAKER_01: 8:04

I did not know that.

SPEAKER_05: 8:04

Like I was I didn't take a half, but a quarter because I just needed to be like chilled out a little bit. And um then I went, we went to drop Winthrop off over there. We walked over with Tony and Kate, and we had my coffee, and we sat down, and it was nice because we've got a neighborhood WhatsApp group now, and all of the people who were uh able to came and so there was what like 20 or something of us there? There were there were which there's 30 houses in the neighborhood, so I think it was well represented. I think they freaked out. Because no one's ever attended to this thing before, like maybe like three people, yeah, and they did not know what to do when we kept coming in, like just more and more people kept coming in. And then at one point I laughed because I put something in the WhatsApp group, and all of a sudden the dinging started going off. And I was like, guys, you're supposed to have those things silent, but it was great. Kate came, she had her list of things, she had she was armed with receipts, and it I mean, if nothing happens, at least we felt empowered for an hour on a Sunday morning.

SPEAKER_01: 9:10

Speaking of it being lovely when people come together. You know, I enjoy it when we come together.

SPEAKER_05: 9:17

Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_01: 9:17

Um, anyway, I went to or we went to a poetry slam last night.

SPEAKER_05: 9:22

Well, it was a writer's open mic.

SPEAKER_01: 9:24

No, they they called it a poetry slam. This is what all I'm saying. Let's not let's not grass me up on the fact I called it a poetry slam. That's what they called it.

SPEAKER_05: 9:32

Okay, but on the social medias they called it a a writer's open mic because I don't I think they were expecting people to come with like fiction and other things, but it wound up m just being poetry. Well, one one person, the host, Emma, read uh a short fiction thing.

SPEAKER_01: 9:47

I feel like poetry is a dying art, right?

SPEAKER_05: 9:50

I feel like spoken word stuff is a dying art.

SPEAKER_01: 9:52

Right. And it was very nice to have this very small, I mean, I'm not saying it was a huge thing, very small community of people uh get together and share their stuff. It's a very welcoming, affirming room. Everyone was into everyone else's work, or at least they acted like it. And it was just it was a lovely show of community. And I would absolutely recommend that if you hear of any poetry readings where you are, then go do that. It's very interesting. It's fun to hear people express themselves in different structures and different ways. And maybe, maybe if you do it enough, your brain won't turn to mush from constant doom scrolling.

SPEAKER_05: 10:30

Yeah, so it was at the bull. So if you're in Gainesville, they're gonna do these once a month at the bull. Um, it's on a Sunday night. It was from five to seven, but it it felt, did it feel safe? It felt like a safe space. No, I didn't read, I I'm not a poet, but I mean you you read you did a couple sets and it was well received. But I mean, and you did some that were, or at least one that was very emotionally vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01: 10:54

Well, that was the second set. The first set I did all of my ones that were just gags or whatever, including one you told me not to do. And you did, and I did it. It's it's something called dog shit.

SPEAKER_05: 11:06

I know.

SPEAKER_01: 11:07

This is how it goes. Walking in a street dimly lit while my dog decides where to drop his shit. Canine terrorists kidnap my evening for a pile I'll pocket while still steaming.

SPEAKER_05: 11:21

There you go. See? Isn't that lovely? Isn't that the your favorite thing you've ever heard in your life? You should read the drunk at the Christmas party one, though, on this podcast, because that one I enjoyed. I had not heard it until yesterday.

SPEAKER_01: 11:32

Oh, well, we referenced the situation that happened at a work party. It wasn't last year, I think it was the year before.

SPEAKER_05: 11:38

Oh, it was no. Or two years ago. Yeah, two or three years ago.

SPEAKER_01: 11:42

So, anyway, I wrote uh a poem based on that called Drunk at the Office Christmas Party. This is how it goes. She arrived at the party three sheets to the wind, did her special North Pole dance. That's where the troubles begin. By early morning, she got the old heave ho. Turns out Santa's little helper shouldn't guzzle the Merlot.

SPEAKER_05: 12:02

Yes. Yeah, true story though. Don't show up to the Christmas party already drunk.

SPEAKER_01: 12:08

It's called pregaming, friends.

SPEAKER_05: 12:10

I know what it's called. Just don't do it.

SPEAKER_01: 12:12

However, this person didn't pre-game. This just was their state, but enough of that. Um, so yeah, so I would recommend that you that you participate in a poetry reading, Poetry Slam. Go listen to it. It's fun. That is all. I want to do a new segment, Amanda.

SPEAKER_02: 12:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 12:38

I want to call it random fact about me. And then you and I each share a random fact about ourselves. Maybe something that the other person hasn't heard. Definitely something that the audience hasn't heard. What do you think?

SPEAKER_02: 12:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 12:50

But you might not be ready, but I have one that I thought of popped into my head randomly today that this is a thing that I've done. I was like, I can't think of anything better than to share it with the world.

SPEAKER_05: 12:59

All right, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01: 13:00

All right. Random fact about Josh. I have microwaved underwear to dry them.

SPEAKER_05: 13:04

I I did know this about you. Why?

SPEAKER_01: 13:08

Are you kidding? Why? It it'll cook like a freaking meal in three minutes. Why would it not dry my underwear?

SPEAKER_05: 13:15

Was that in a microwave that I also use? Yes, or was this?

SPEAKER_01: 13:19

Not at the same time.

SPEAKER_05: 13:20

No, but I was really hoping this was like in your college days.

SPEAKER_01: 13:23

Within the last five years.

SPEAKER_05: 13:25

Why? We have a dryer.

SPEAKER_01: 13:27

Yes, but again, the idea with microwave is supposed to do stuff so much faster.

SPEAKER_05: 13:33

You're a crazy person.

SPEAKER_01: 13:36

You're supposed to ask me, does it work?

SPEAKER_05: 13:38

Did it work?

SPEAKER_01: 13:38

No.

SPEAKER_05: 13:39

Okay, so that's right. But you're sitting here telling me like how much it works. So I just believed you that it worked. Well, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_01: 13:48

No, well, see, but that's the thing, is what I had to end up doing. Probably it would have taken less time to put it in the dryer by the time that I'd gotten it done. But I was so invested into making this shit work. So what I do is like I took some wet underwear, clean, um, put them in the microwave, heated them up, then took them out, let the steam escape, yes, and then put it back in. Take them out, let the the the crazy step process. Yeah, but the steam escaping, that is the water going.

SPEAKER_05: 14:15

I understand how evaporation works.

SPEAKER_01: 14:17

But see, that's what you have to do is if you do it in the microwave, then the water just stays in there and it stays wet. But if you let the steam escape, then you can try your underwear. However, it is hell on the elastic.

SPEAKER_05: 14:28

I bet it dries it out and it makes it all crinkly.

SPEAKER_01: 14:32

So, do you have any random facts about you?

SPEAKER_05: 14:35

Um, random fact about me. Um, I met new kids on the block when I was 14.

SPEAKER_01: 14:41

Yeah, we that doesn't quite stack up to drawing your underwear in the microwave.

SPEAKER_05: 14:46

Random fact about me, the top of my spine where it meets my skull is not curved. Everybody else's or it's meant to be curved, mine is straight, and it just sits on it straight like that, and the bone is wearing away.

SPEAKER_01: 14:57

Oh, so what are we gonna have to do about that?

SPEAKER_05: 14:59

This is why I have all the neck pain. Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 15:02

But can we fix it or can what so what's gonna happen? Uh, just one of the days your head's gonna fall off.

SPEAKER_05: 15:08

No, I'm just gonna like just it's just gonna hurt a lot.

SPEAKER_01: 15:11

Well, shit.

SPEAKER_05: 15:12

This is a thing that I found out when we were married. So you're out there mic waving underwear and I'm getting x-rays. I told you about this. It was after I had Winthrop.

SPEAKER_01: 15:22

Okay. All right. Well, this was a great segment. Wonderful. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05: 15:26

Well, the other thing I was gonna tell you is that I've had my face thrown up on by a dog.

SPEAKER_01: 15:30

We are officially retiring this segment.

SPEAKER_05: 15:45

All right, so we have a special holiday treat. Um, making her super familiar podcast debut, Muffy is going to join us to talk about our favorite holiday songs and also participate in game time. So we are super excited for you all to get to enjoy the lovely wonder that is our daughter Muffy.

SPEAKER_01: 16:09

Okay, so I'm gonna roll the music to that you run out and go get her and bring her back.

unknown: 16:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 16:44

And search him up on Apple Music, Spotify, all the places. That song is called Spawn from the Power Line. Actually, I don't even know if he released that song.

SPEAKER_05: 16:55

Uh, I did not know the name that song had a name.

SPEAKER_01: 16:58

Yeah, well, what did you think?

SPEAKER_05: 16:59

I just thought it was game time.

SPEAKER_01: 17:01

It's game time, yes. Joining us for game time uh along with um Amanda is Muffy. Hello, Muffy. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_00: 17:13

Good.

SPEAKER_01: 17:14

Muffy actually just did a podcast for a project, so this you should be also don't touch the microphone. Um, you just got a 95 on your podcast, uh project, didn't you?

SPEAKER_00: 17:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 17:27

So you uh should be an old professional at at podcasting, right?

SPEAKER_00: 17:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 17:31

Okay, do not sit here and be shy. You only have uh several thousand people listening all over the world right now.

SPEAKER_05: 17:38

So inaccurate that's that is inaccurate, but we do have a very good friend listening. So do you want to say hello?

SPEAKER_00: 17:44

Yeah, shout out, Bookie. We love you.

SPEAKER_01: 17:46

All right, so we're gonna move into game time, and to start game time, we are going to list each of us our top five favorite Christmas songs. And let's hear why they're your favorite.

SPEAKER_05: 17:57

If you don't have them in any particular order, then just Oh, yeah, I don't have mine and I didn't rank mine.

SPEAKER_01: 18:02

Okay, so what is number five for you?

SPEAKER_05: 18:04

Number five on my list is Carol of the Bells.

SPEAKER_01: 18:09

Oh, doom, do, do, doom. Why is that?

SPEAKER_05: 18:11

I because it's home alone. I mean, it's like famously from home alone, although I know it wasn't Is it famously famous? It is from Famously. Is it not famous?

SPEAKER_01: 18:21

Is it from Famously Home Alone? None of you are speaking into the microphone. People are gonna love this.

SPEAKER_05: 18:25

It is from Famously. It is from Famously Home Alone. It's famously from Home Alone, but I also I just really, really like it. And also don't judge why I said it was.

SPEAKER_01: 18:34

Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_05: 18:35

Okay, so that the number five on my list was Carol of the Bells. If you look at, if you go look at Carol of the Bells on Apple Music, the thumbnail for it is Kevin McAllister going uh like that. So there.

SPEAKER_01: 18:48

Okay, uh Muffy, you're number five.

SPEAKER_00: 18:50

Oh, okay. Well, I was also gonna say Carol of the Bells. Um, that's Sean Williams, right? Yeah, I was gonna say that one, but I can pick a different one. Actually, mom and I were talking about this the other day, and there was one that I'm kind of been newly introduced to. I think it was called Christmas Rapping. It's like from 81, I'm pretty sure. And I don't know, it's yeah, by the waitresses, and it's like, I don't know, very happy and makes me feel all nostalgic. So I liked that one, but that's kind of like a new favorite, a new classic. So I would say that one.

SPEAKER_01: 19:26

Very good. All right, my number five is gonna be Happy Christmas. War is over, but it's not the the version that has Yoko Ono Caterwalling in it. Um much respect to Yoko and all the things you've accomplished. But there's a band, I think they're actually a Welsh band, they're called The Alarm, and they do an amazing cover of Happy Christmas, War Is Over, and they have like a backing men's choir. It's like a senior men's choir backing it.

SPEAKER_05: 19:54

It sounds so seniors in high school or like old people, like our age, like like old people.

SPEAKER_01: 20:00

Not seniors in high school. So that's my number five. Number four, Amanda.

SPEAKER_05: 20:04

All right, number four. And yeah, I just confirmed that Christmas wrapping is by the waitresses. It was released in 1981. And I did hear it in Target today. Muffy was saying that's where she was reintroduced from to it from. So when I was standing in the very, very long line at Target today, I heard it. Alright, my number four is Last Christmas.

SPEAKER_01: 20:23

Very good by wham. Alright, so your number four, Muffy.

SPEAKER_00: 20:26

Yeah. Okay. Um I'm gonna go with I think Blue Christmas by Elvis. Very good. That's kind of a new, also a new favorite, I guess. I mean, it's a classic. I've been listening to it, you know, all my life, but I've kind of started to appreciate it more, I guess, and I guess like it more. So that's a good one.

SPEAKER_01: 20:49

Okay, very good. My number four is I Believe in Father Christmas by Greg Lake. I don't know if you've heard that one. It's very interesting. It's it's kind of like a sardonic, like cynical view of Christmas. Um I would recommend it.

SPEAKER_05: 21:05

So he doesn't believe in Father Christmas?

SPEAKER_01: 21:07

I think that that's kind of the idea is uh Christmas is is sold. The last line is Hallelujah, farewell. Whether heaven or hell, the Christmas you get, you deserve.

SPEAKER_05: 21:17

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 21:17

So there you go. I love that one. Your number three, Amelia.

SPEAKER_05: 21:20

My number three is we need a little Christmas. So I don't know if you know this song.

SPEAKER_01: 21:24

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun that one.

SPEAKER_05: 21:29

We need a little Christmas, right? That's very interesting.

SPEAKER_01: 21:31

We don't have to worry about rights because that didn't sound anything like it.

SPEAKER_05: 21:34

Well, I do love the glee version the most, but it was it was debuted by Angela Lansbury in the musical Mame. So it is from it is from Mame, but um I love it very much. But I yeah, a lot of these songs I like the Glee Christmas version the best. But yeah, we need a little Christmas.

SPEAKER_01: 21:51

All right, number three, Muffy.

SPEAKER_00: 21:53

I'll say number three is probably um Ella Fitzgerald's sleigh ride. Oh, that's very good. I think one of my favorites, I mean, I really love her, but and that version of the song.

SPEAKER_01: 22:06

All right, so my number three is That Spirit of Christmas by Ray Charles. It's a great song. It is a great song, famously from uh Christmas Vacation, the movie with Chevy Chase. Uh it's just a really classic song.

SPEAKER_05: 22:19

Did you say Chevy Chase?

SPEAKER_01: 22:21

I did, I did. It's a really classic song to me. I love it. It's very nostalgic.

SPEAKER_05: 22:24

That I'm pretty sure though, if you looked it up, it would not be Chevy Chase's face on the thumbnail. Yeah. Like it is Kevin McAllister's, but okay. Um, my number two is the only hymn that I have put on my list.

SPEAKER_02: 22:36

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_05: 22:37

And I mean, I grew up obviously with um Christmas hymns being played all over the place that my mom would play. But um, my favorite Christmas hymn is Oh Little Town of Bethlehem.

SPEAKER_01: 22:48

Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem.

SPEAKER_05: 22:50

Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem.

SPEAKER_01: 22:51

So like a quiet, boring one.

SPEAKER_05: 22:53

Yeah, but I just I love the line the the tears and fears of all the years are better than me tonight. Okay, so the hopes and fears of first of all. Tears for fears is totally not the person who sings other thing that sings a lot. Hopes and fears of all the years. Can I get power of edit for this?

SPEAKER_01: 23:12

No, nope. Fuck no, we're leaving that in. The tears and fears of all the years. All right.

SPEAKER_05: 23:17

Okay, hold on. No, I'm not done. The hopes and fears of all the years are met in the eatle night. But when Muffy was little, we had uh a little Tum of Bethlehem board book that my mom bought her, and it would play the song and it would light up like like stars in the sky. Do you remember this? Yes, and then when Winthrop was little, he had it, but by the time he had it, the um batteries were going. Yeah, and it just sounded really creepy and like as a demonic, right? It was like a demonic choir by the time he had it. But yeah, that's my number two.

SPEAKER_00: 23:49

My number two is Wonderful Christmas time. I love that song. Um, I also love Paul McCartney, and that one's always been like up there for me. I think every time it's like come on the radio, or if we're listening to Christmas music, like that's one that I like best.

SPEAKER_01: 24:06

Okay. Number two for me is is This Christmas by Donnie Hathaway. Again, just so nostalgic and and so classic that one. And interestingly enough, the recycle truck went by today blasting that song.

SPEAKER_05: 24:22

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01: 24:24

Very, very cool. All right, so Amanda Wilson, your number one.

SPEAKER_05: 24:29

My number one is Silverbells.

SPEAKER_01: 24:31

Silverbells? It's Christmas time in the city.

SPEAKER_05: 24:34

I love it. First of all, I love that imagery of like being in a big city, being in New York, and you know, seeing the people ringing the bells and having the bells run. But it also reminds me a lot of my mom, and I have a very vivid memory of being little, and I think we were going to see my grandmother maybe in the nursing home. My mom was driving, and that song was playing in the town that we were in. You know how small towns will put um Christmas decorations up on the light poles? Yes, and they had silver bells up, and I like so that is a core memory for me is listening to that song in the backseat of my mom's car and seeing the silver bells.

SPEAKER_01: 25:08

Very cool. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 25:10

My number one is uh last Christmas, wham. And I'm like kind of offended that you put it at. What did you put it at? Four?

SPEAKER_05: 25:18

It was my number four.

SPEAKER_00: 25:19

I guess for me and my friends, or maybe I just like am generalizing it as like um for my generation, that's kind of like the Christmas song of all time. And like I'm a fan of vintage more vintage songs, like you know, 50s, like 50s Christmas songs, right? But because like that's something that you guys might have grown up on, we are now grow growing up on like 80s, 90s Christmas music. Yeah, and I just I really uh can appreciate how I would argue one of the biggest Christmas songs of all time is like from a gay man, and like people can listen to it and feel represented and things like that, and maybe people who aren't don't take too kindly to like queer people and stuff like that can chill out. No, I'm just saying like they still they might be listening to it and have no idea.

SPEAKER_01: 26:22

Got it. All right, number one, right? Are we on number one?

SPEAKER_05: 26:25

Yeah, but can I defend myself for a second? I didn't list it at number four. Remember, I didn't rank mine. Okay, I just had them in order of putting them, but I understand.

SPEAKER_01: 26:34

No, we're not gonna have a domestic here. So, number one, I bet you can guess my number one.

SPEAKER_05: 26:40

I really need it to be Quad City DJs.

SPEAKER_01: 26:43

No, that was honorable mention.

SPEAKER_05: 26:44

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 26:45

What I want for Christmas. No, my number one. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05: 26:50

You love that song.

SPEAKER_01: 26:51

I like that song the first five times I hear it in the Christmas season, every Christmas season, right? And then I sour on it. But one song I will never sour on is the classic by Travis Atria and Michael Clater. All I want for Christmas is Christmas This Christmas.

SPEAKER_05: 27:08

Well, all I want for Christmas is Christmas this year.

SPEAKER_01: 27:10

It is. So those are two gentlemen. They've both been on the pod. Um, they are local musicians, and they wrote what I think is the quintessential Christmas song, and I recommend that you listen to it. In fact, I might even play it um off the back end of this podcast. Yes. So listen right through the end, and you will hear that song if I can find the MP3. Now, all of this was leading to game time.

SPEAKER_05: 27:33

I'm not done though. What I have honorable mentions.

SPEAKER_01: 27:36

Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_05: 27:37

Uh uh Christmas by Darlene Love was up there. Uh Baby Please Come Home.

SPEAKER_01: 27:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_05: 27:43

Okay, but also I want a hippopotamus for Christmas.

SPEAKER_01: 27:46

Okay. Okay. Very good.

SPEAKER_05: 27:48

Although Winthrop has decided that he really doesn't like that song, and so now he sings that he wants the crocodiles for Christmas.

SPEAKER_01: 27:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_05: 27:55

Anyway, also Winthrop is not yet ready to make his debut, but he would like everyone to know that his favorite Christmas song is Fleece, not my dad.

SPEAKER_01: 28:03

That song gets such a bad rap, and I don't know why. I freaking love that song because it's so different than other Christmas songs, and that's why I love it so much.

SPEAKER_05: 28:11

Do you like Malikaliki Maka?

SPEAKER_01: 28:13

No, don't like it. Okay. Okay. So um we're gonna have game time here, and I think what what we're gonna do is we're gonna have both of you on a team. So you you two confer, right? And you tell me what you think the answer is. All you have to do is guess the Christmas song that I'm referring to. That's it. I'm gonna give you a description of the song, and you gotta guess what it is. Easy, right? First song a mammalian quadrupeds caudal appendage serves as a mounting point for resonating metal objects during winter transit activities.

SPEAKER_05: 28:50

Wait, what?

SPEAKER_01: 28:52

A mammalian quadruped.

SPEAKER_05: 28:54

Okay, a r uh a mammal with four feet.

SPEAKER_01: 28:57

Caudal appendage serves as a mounting point for resonating metal objects during winter transit activities.

SPEAKER_05: 29:05

Drumming.

SPEAKER_01: 29:08

Resonating mental objects. Mental. No, metal.

SPEAKER_05: 29:11

Right, drums, drums. So is this uh jingle bells?

SPEAKER_01: 29:14

It is jingle bells.

SPEAKER_05: 29:16

Oh, because oh, what fun it is to ride in a uh one horse open store.

SPEAKER_01: 29:19

Well, a million quadruped, uh mammalian quadruped is the reindeer. Caudal appendage is the tail. Serves as a mounting point for resonating metal objects, which are the bells.

SPEAKER_05: 29:29

You have just experienced your first what what's called the song quiz, where he just says really crazy things and you have to guess what the song and the artist is. So welcome to my fresh hell. Okay. You take the next one.

SPEAKER_01: 29:42

Here's no, you you're working together. All right, but just work it out together, ready? An elderly male maintains a binary classification database of juvenile behavior patterns, utilizing omnipresent surveillance capabilities during sleep cycles.

SPEAKER_00: 29:58

He knows when you've been sleeping.

SPEAKER_05: 30:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, what is that song? Um Oh god, not Santa Claus is coming to town. Is that what it's called?

unknown: 30:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_05: 30:09

Okay, so he's watching you sleep and then he's coming to town. That's creepy.

SPEAKER_01: 30:13

But it also maintains a binary classification database. Naughty or nice. All right, so that one was easy. Next, round three. A cervids, photon emitting proboscis, transforms social rejection into vocational necessity during conditions of reduced atmospheric visibility. What a cervids. It's a type of animal. Photon emitting proboscis.

SPEAKER_00: 30:44

Oh, Rudolph the red-nose reindeer.

SPEAKER_01: 30:46

Yes, that's right. Servid is a deer. Photon emitting proboscis, of course, a shiny nose. Transforms social rejection into vocational necessity.

SPEAKER_02: 30:56

That's right.

SPEAKER_01: 30:57

During conditions of reduced atmospheric visibility. Very good. You all got two out of three so far.

SPEAKER_05: 31:02

No, wait, we got three out of three.

SPEAKER_01: 31:04

Did you get the first one? Jingle bus? Oh, you did. You did. Okay. Next, crystallized H2O precipitation is welcomed specifically for its dwelling confinement properties during a period where external temperature and internal combustion create pleasant contrast.

SPEAKER_00: 31:24

White Christmas? No.

SPEAKER_05: 31:27

Um, so right, for a second I thought we were going frosty, but we didn't go frosty.

SPEAKER_01: 31:33

Is it crystallized H2O precipitation is welcome specifically for its dwelling confinement properties during a period where external temperature and internal combustion create pleasant contrast.

SPEAKER_00: 31:47

Oh, maybe it's cold outside?

SPEAKER_05: 31:50

No. Oh, no, that's a good that's a good guess, though. Uh winter wonderland? No. Um uh it sounds like you're building an igloo. I don't oh, uh, like do you want to build a snowman? Is it frozen?

SPEAKER_01: 32:06

Weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Crystallize ACO precipitation is welcome specifically for its dwelling confinement properties. Gotta stay inside during a period when external temperature is cold and internal combustion. The the fire is so delightful, create pleasant contrast. There you go. All right, so you are three or four, two more. And it okay, here we go. An accumulation sequence spanning 12 solar rotations results in 184 avian specimens and 40 performing bipeds by the final iteration.

SPEAKER_05: 32:46

Do you know what this is? This is 12 days of Christmas. You did the math, didn't you? Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 32:54

Very good, very good. All right, last one here. Temporarily animated frozen water construct achieves consciousness through decorative vegetable nose installation before inevitable thermodynamic dissolution.

SPEAKER_00: 33:10

Frosty, so man.

SPEAKER_01: 33:11

Frosty the snowman. Very good. Well, you all did excellently. You got like a 90% or whatever.

SPEAKER_05: 33:19

I appreciated the vegetable nose installation.

SPEAKER_01: 33:22

Yes, that's right. That's right. Now I had 20 of these, but I'm not gonna put you through that.

SPEAKER_05: 33:27

What's the most like abstract one? Like challenge us.

SPEAKER_01: 33:31

I feel like we did that. And like with let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Yeah, that was hard. Let's see. Um okay. Ready? Yeah. No, this might be easy. Dental requirements dominate wish fulfillment requests, specifically maxillary central incisors necessary for proper phenome production.

SPEAKER_00: 33:50

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

SPEAKER_01: 33:52

See, that was that was easy. That was a good one. Okay, let's see if you get this one. Ready? Spiny evergreen branch installation induces reportedly positive psychological states despite laceration risk from foliage weaponry.

SPEAKER_05: 34:08

Is that o tenin bomb?

SPEAKER_01: 34:10

No.

SPEAKER_05: 34:11

So it's not a Christmas tree. I mean, I'm trying to see the bigger. How would it be one but not the other? I'm translating it for you from the German.

SPEAKER_01: 34:18

Spiny ever spiny evergreen branch installation, right? Induces reportedly positive psychological states, despite laceration risk from foliage weaponry.

SPEAKER_05: 34:30

What? What songs do we know about Christmas trees? I was gonna say rocking around the Christmas tree, but oh yeah, no, I would have thought that too. Um Jingle Bell Rock?

SPEAKER_01: 34:40

No. Spiny evergreen branch installation.

SPEAKER_05: 34:43

I mean, you can keep saying those words, but a spiny evergreen branch installation would be a Christmas tree.

SPEAKER_01: 34:49

What is another name for a branch on a tree?

SPEAKER_05: 34:53

Uh a bough. Well, the bowels in the holly, the the something in the holly. Um Dak the halls with bowels of holly.

SPEAKER_01: 35:05

Balalala. There you go. Very good. All right, Muffy. Thank you so much for joining us. Uh, any final words that you have here for your friends, neighbors, and fans?

SPEAKER_05: 35:16

Do you want to give us any stranger things predictions before you go?

SPEAKER_00: 35:19

I would prefer for well, this sounds horrible, but I think it would be smart for a few characters to meet their ending. But I think that that probably won't happen because um, you know, the past seasons, like no one none of the main characters have died off, and I don't think that they're gonna start now, especially because like there's like set photos from the epilogue. This is me just being a nerd now, but like there's set photos from the epilogue, and pretty much everyone's in it. And the only one I don't think this is a spoiler, but like pretty much the only main character who's not in the epilogue is 11, but I doubt that they're gonna kill her off, so I think that she's gonna be out elsewhere. And there's also reports of 11's actress filming alone in Iceland. So interesting. I think that she might be there while whilst everyone else is.

SPEAKER_05: 36:22

Oh, that's that's really interesting. All right, so body count zero.

SPEAKER_00: 36:25

No, I think it'll be like, well, I think Vecna is gonna go. Bye, Vecna. Or yeah, I think that Dr. K will go because like all the bad guys.

SPEAKER_05: 36:34

I need her to go.

SPEAKER_00: 36:36

And then I think Kolly might go. I think that Derek might go because they try to in the past, you know, they always introduce a likable character and then kill them off.

SPEAKER_05: 36:50

Um the Eddie syndrome, right?

SPEAKER_00: 36:52

Exactly. Like, um other than that, I don't really know that they would kill off any of the main characters. I think Jonathan has a chance, which sucks because I'm team Jonathan and I know that's controversial.

SPEAKER_05: 37:07

But it's also funny to be like, he's got a chance if you got a chance of dying.

SPEAKER_00: 37:10

No, yeah. But ever since he like he showed that ring, it's been a little like, mmm, what does that mean? Yeah. And also that it's in a cassette tape, and like they need music to save someone. So if like they're trying to save him and he finds the ring and they find the ring in the cassette tape. Oh, that's gonna hurt my heart. Yeah, I don't know. But he's also not in the epilogue pictures, and Steve is.

SPEAKER_05: 37:33

Well, there are a lot of people that would riot if something happens.

SPEAKER_00: 37:36

Oh, yeah, totally. They're not killing off Steve. Yeah, no. They're gonna I think that they're gonna tease at it. Sorry, I'm going on forever. No, no, no, because no, this is what they're gonna do. They're gonna tease at it, and possibly there will be a cliffhanger, and like people are gonna riot. I also think the cliffhanger could be that Will is going to die, and then in the finale, in the in the finale, it'll be revealed that he's still alive because of that, like the boy who lived connection. And like he's also in the epilogue pictures.

SPEAKER_05: 38:06

So well, that's good. That'll bring some hope. Yeah. Because I don't want to live in this house if something happens to Will.

SPEAKER_00: 38:11

No, yeah. I'm like the world's biggest Will stan ever. And I I don't know, I was telling mom, like since volume one dropped, I have was having conflicted feelings because obviously I was like the happiest person ever. Like, this is all I've been hoping and dreaming for since I I started watching the show. But I also felt frustrated because like like a week prior, I'd been on TikTok defending him with like everything in me because people say he was just like this useless character, blah blah blah blah. And now that he isn't, everyone's like switching up, and that's kind of frustrating to me. But at the end of the day, I'm glad that they're recognizing like how much importance he holds in the end game.

SPEAKER_05: 39:00

So good, excellent. Well, I'm very excited for you. I'm a little worried for us because I think the screaming will start and commence probably um around nine o'clock Christmas night. So thanks for coming on the pod. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_01: 39:18

Pocket watch ticking, constricting, coat, invest, marking moments. No one likes to be told what to do. And now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do. Amanda, what should we do?

SPEAKER_05: 39:30

You should have a lovely holiday. Merry Christmas, whatever you celebrate, but enjoy family, enjoy friends. If you're alone, go out and and just be around people and watch the wonder of the world.

SPEAKER_01: 39:45

I agree with that. I got nothing to add. Ho ho ho. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What'd you think about that mess?

SPEAKER_05: 40:01

I think that it was a jolly mess.

SPEAKER_01: 40:04

At points. At points it was. Alright, now our list of people without whom we could not produce this podcast. We'd like to thank Antonio, who brings the cheer. Possibly wearing a Santa hat. Definitely judging quietly. Josh Scar still explaining something technical while holding hot cocoa, he forgot to drink. Daniel J. Buckets. No one knows what's in the buckets. It's Christmas. We don't ask. Chicken Tom pecking at the wrapping paper, deeply suspicious of tinsel. Monique from Germany providing international holiday standards and superior Christmas market vibes. Joey, Leo, who is emotionally present, possibly glowing, definitely near the tree. Refined gay Jeff tastefully critiquing the ornaments, whispering festive but intentional. Ryan Baker showed up with cookies left with none. That's how it works around here. Mark and Rachel holding it together, lighting candles, remembering batteries for once. And Dan and Gavin harmonizing yet disagreeing, yet somehow both right. So thank you all.

SPEAKER_05: 41:06

Thanks, friends, for making our year.

SPEAKER_01: 41:08

And have a holly jolly, whatever you celebrate.

SPEAKER_03: 41:36

Singing Christmas songs underneath the Christmas lights after eating Christmas dinner on Christmas night. Let's put the Christmas back in Christmas. Cause Christmas only comes for once a Christmas. There's only one thing on my Christmas list this year. All I want for Christmas is Christmas this year. All I want for Christmas, it's Christmas, it's Christmas. All I want for Christmas is Christmas this year. Take the Christmas holes On a silent Christmas ballade. Now it's raining. Let's put the Christmas back in Christmas. Cause Christmas only comes. What wants a Christmas? I know what I'm getting for Christmas this year. All I want for Christmas is Christmas. It's Christmas. All I want for Christmas is Christmas this year. All I want for Christmas is Christmas. It's Christmas. All I want for Christmas is Christmas this year. You know, Mikey, I'm feeling real sad this Christmas.

SPEAKER_04: 43:39

Why is that, Uncle Travis? Christmas is the most wonderful time of Christmas.

SPEAKER_03: 43:44

Yeah, I knew. I guess it's because I don't know the real story of Christmas. Do you think you could tell it to me?

SPEAKER_04: 43:53

Well, you bet you're sad to boots, I can. It goes a little something like this. Once upon a Christmas, unto us, a Christmas child was born. And then all the Christmas angels say, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Jesus Christ must. Christmas, Christmas, Santa Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.

SPEAKER_03: 44:22

And that's the story of Christmas All I want for Christmas, it's Christmas, it's Christmas. All I want for Christmas It's Christmas to this year. All I want for Christmas is Christmas. It's Christmas. All I want for Christmas. It's Christmas to this year. All I want for Christmas. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. All I want for Christmas. It's Christmas. It's here.