Mandatory Polka Hour, Real Pelicans, A Relationship Pop Quiz

We head to Amelia Island for our eleventh anniversary, skewer the copy-paste beach-town vibe, and find a real story in American Beach’s history. Back home, a candid relationship quiz surfaces our habits, frictions, and the small routines that keep us close.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons
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A Familiar Wilsons Production

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome, Holiday Whiplash, And Gifts
• 2:50 Pots, Pans, And Kitchen Joy
• 4:45 Anniversary Trip To Amelia Island
• 9:20 Why Beach Towns Feel Copy-Paste
• 15:30 Make Beach Towns Weird Again
• 20:05 America Beach And Real History
• 23:20 Downtown Charm And Theme-Park Vibe
• 26:40 Try New Places, Short-Radius Trips
• 28:40 The Relationship Quiz Begins

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Familiar Wilson's Media. Relationships are the story.

SPEAKER_00: 0:07

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

SPEAKER_01: 0:10

The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. Three, two, one. Run. Super familiar with that.

SPEAKER_00: 0:32

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_01: 0:35

And I'm Josh, and welcome to the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

SPEAKER_00: 0:40

And all the side quests.

SPEAKER_01: 0:41

Amanda.

SPEAKER_00: 0:42

Joshua. Boy Noche.

SPEAKER_01: 0:44

Tudo Ben.

SPEAKER_00: 0:46

What?

SPEAKER_01: 0:47

You heard me?

SPEAKER_00: 0:48

Yeah, Tudu Ben, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_01: 0:50

Good evening or good night. How are you?

SPEAKER_00: 0:52

Okay. What's what language are you speaking to me?

SPEAKER_01: 0:54

That would be Portuguese.

SPEAKER_00: 0:55

Okay, thank you. Um, I'm I'm sorry, Bluey. I didn't know it. Uh Blue Key's from Brazil.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00

I'm probably butchering it, but whatever. Okay, well, you can look at it. I just want you to know that I got the pronunciation from our friend uh musician and author Travis Atria, who who named an album that. So Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12

Anyway, I'm I'm okay. I am battling the same headache that you're battling because you know it was 80 degrees here on Christmas Day, and we've got a cold front and a freeze watch tonight. So the weather can't decide what it's gonna be, but you can probably tell the barometric press precipitation, pressure, whatever it's called, based on the amount of pressure in a Wilson head.

SPEAKER_01: 1:37

Well, we had a very active Christmas and 11th anniversary stretch of time there, Amanda. I want you to tell our listeners what the best Christmas present you got this year was.

SPEAKER_00: 1:50

I mean, I hug it and I won't squeeze it and call it George. Josh got me a new set of pots and pans. But no, I love them. I am so in love with them. They're the Green Pan Pro. They are top of the line. We have had our dishes, or not our dishes, we've had our pots and pans since we've been married, and they're the ones that have the ceramic coating, but have been scratched probably for more years than we want to admit. And, you know, they were like this blue color, but the peeling was all coming off of it was all peeling off the color was. And Josh got me the most beautiful set. They're navy and cream on the inside, and they sparkle, and they have gold handles, and I actually hugged one of them yesterday.

SPEAKER_01: 2:41

All I know is that I I wish at some point you would wash me as lovingly as you wash these damn pots and pans.

SPEAKER_00: 2:49

I don't want anybody to cook it. I now have cooked three times in them. I made scrambled eggs this morning and them and it cleans so beautifully. Of course it says it's just washer-friendly, but if you hand wash it, it extends the life. And so, considering you told me these need to be generational pots and pans, which I think this the life on these are like 10 years. Um I am hand washing them and I just I legit picked one up and hugged it yesterday. I love it so much.

SPEAKER_01: 3:17

Well, I'm so very, very glad that you enjoyed it. Yes, folks, we did have a great Christmas. I had the family over Christmas Eve, and then we went to Amelia Island, Florida, which I had never been to.

SPEAKER_00: 3:30

Neither had I. And we're native Floridians.

SPEAKER_01: 3:32

Yeah, and Amanda had picked it because um guilty confession here. I had not made any plans for our 11th anniversary, and you got very cross with me. We had one of our very infrequent arguments over that.

SPEAKER_00: 3:47

Yeah, yeah, we did. It was like a full-blown one. It wasn't like I'm grumpy because I have pyramidopause. Like it was an actual like argument, argument. And uh, but we did we did go. I considered just going by myself.

SPEAKER_01: 3:59

You lie.

SPEAKER_00: 4:01

Uh, but I picked Amelia Island because I'm a Marriott Bunvoy elite member because of the traveling that I do.

SPEAKER_01: 4:07

Your fucking elite pots and pans and your elite member. I'm surprised that you allow me to slum around with you.

SPEAKER_00: 4:12

Well, I'm Silver Elite, which is like the lowest elite level you can get, but it's because I travel for work. And I they sent me a thing and they were like, hey, 20% off these destinations. And I guess no one's really going to the beach. Although it seemed pretty busy.

SPEAKER_01: 4:28

Yeah. Yeah. The highlight of the whole trip was us waking up early in the morning and walking out on our anniversary and walking out to the beach. First of all, I was upset that other people had the same idea, but then we get there and we just wanted to see the sunset. Well, the sun did come out. Or so I understand, but it was it was uh overcast. But we did see a dolphin, so that was cool. Dan Marino was walking along the beach.

SPEAKER_00: 4:52

Silly boy, yeah. It was dense fog, and so we walked down to the beach anyway because I Googled this and it said, Well, you won't be able to see the sun disc, but it'll still put really like it'll diffuse the light in a way that's really pretty. There was zero lie, there was zero lies, there was zero light, all lies.

SPEAKER_01: 5:07

Yeah, all lies. So I did have a lovely time. We had a great time there, and but I do have a question for you. Why is it that all Florida beach towns look like they're made from the same Lego set? Like, in a way, I guess it's comforting.

SPEAKER_00: 5:25

Um you know what to expect.

SPEAKER_01: 5:27

You know what to expect, but it's like, okay, so we're going to any Florida smaller beach town, right? There's gonna be restaurants with with names that are really doing the heavy lifting towards the theme, like the drunken parrot or Captain Blank's grill or whatever. It's always a captain, by the way. It's always a captain, captain for first mate, somebody no first mate, no like like deck hand or dude swabbing the deck or or whatever. It's always a captain, never uh specified captain of what. It's just you know, uh uh the this guy who wandered off of his ship with a bottle of rum and decided I'm gonna open this this bar and grill. And I swear to God, if I hear another Jimmy Buffett song or Bob Marley song, I didn't hear Bob Marley's song. Oh no, I did. Oh, I did. Oh, I did the the little the the sand dollar or whatever the hell it was, Captain you know, spoofy's place or wherever we were. We walked in, it was playing Three Little Birds.

SPEAKER_00: 6:23

Oh, how interesting. Well, I know that there was a guy, I think playing the guitar outside of that restaurant, like on their deck, I'm not sure. Um, and he said something about playing Bob Marley, but like with a soul version, but I still didn't recognize what he was playing.

SPEAKER_01: 6:38

We missed that. But other things is like always with these cute little signs that are are made to look weather beaten, but they've never seen a hurricane in their life that that says things like life's a beach or the beach has my money or some nonsense like that. I would rather be a mermaid, yes, or and pelicans, everything's a pelican, you although I saw zero pelicans. Oh no, there was there was pelican decor.

SPEAKER_00: 7:01

No, I saw zero pelicans at the beach.

SPEAKER_01: 7:03

No, because that they put the pelicans in the starter kit, whether you actually have pelicans there or not. Like I expected to go into the bathroom and lift the the beak and pee into a pelican mouth.

SPEAKER_00: 7:13

That would actually be cool.

SPEAKER_01: 7:14

No, it would not be cool. Not with them beady little eyes looking at me.

SPEAKER_00: 7:18

I saw lots of seagulls. One of them talked to me.

SPEAKER_01: 7:21

Even the the tourists all look the same. Like it was a little cooler, so I took jeans and like was wearing a shirt, but invariably there's the the dress code is like, you know, whatever I had available to put on, plus$80 flip-flops, right? Yes. And then shirts with way too many pockets in them. And I guarantee them to you, none of those fuckers are fishing. So they need to do something else. They need to differentiate all of these Florida beach towns besides the t-shirts saying some life's the beach, you know, Fernandin and Beach, Florida, or whatever. Each of these needs to have something that is either unique to the area or has nothing to do with a beach town.

SPEAKER_00: 7:58

Okay, what do you suggest?

SPEAKER_01: 8:00

Oh, I made a list.

SPEAKER_00: 8:01

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01: 8:02

Uh replace all iconography of pelicans with real pelicans.

SPEAKER_00: 8:07

So you're gonna pee in a real pelican's mouth?

SPEAKER_01: 8:09

It's just like the Flintstones. They they wash their their laundry in the in a pelican. They did real pelicans scattered about would make it a lot more exciting than these fake pelicans. What else? Mandatory polka hour. From two to three every day, they gotta turn off the damn Bob Marley and the Jimmy Buffett and play polka music. They have to do it.

SPEAKER_00: 8:30

I don't think you know what you're asking for.

SPEAKER_01: 8:32

Every town needs to have its own cryptid. You know what a cryptid is? It's like mythical beast, like Yeti or Bigfoot is a cryptid, like the Florida swamp monster is cryptid. Like when we were up in the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina, the rat man was a cryptid. I think that that each town should have its own cryptid. And I invented one for Amelia Island.

SPEAKER_00: 8:54

What is it?

SPEAKER_01: 8:54

A manatee but with human legs.

SPEAKER_00: 8:56

Oh, oh, that's terrifying.

SPEAKER_01: 8:58

You're right, you know, have the obligatory grainy photos of like this manatee with legs running past a 7-Eleven. It would be great. Let's see what else. Did you notice every Florida town we go to references pirates? Yes. It's like I guarantee them to you that there's no pirates in the Gulf of Mexico that I'm aware of.

SPEAKER_00: 9:18

Well, we I we first of all, we weren't on the Gulf.

SPEAKER_01: 9:20

No, no, no. But I'm but what I'm saying is we've been to like St. Pete and some of these other areas.

SPEAKER_00: 9:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 9:24

There's pirate things there as well.

SPEAKER_00: 9:25

So you don't think that there were actual pirates 200, 300 years ago that were roaming these oceans.

SPEAKER_01: 9:30

All I'm saying is I I can I can almost bet all of my money that Blackbeard didn't visit each and every one of these places.

SPEAKER_00: 9:38

Listen, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I mean, it is rife with with pirates in this in this state.

SPEAKER_01: 9:45

So I think that that the pirates need to you need to actually put them in places where it is legitimate that they went. Like, you know, St. Augustine, they had pirates. Yeah. I mean, Amelia Island, I guess, is kind of in that Jacksonville, St. Augustine area. So maybe there were pirates.

SPEAKER_00: 10:02

The oldest bar in America is right across the street from the marina, and it's named after a pirate or something like that. He probably started it.

SPEAKER_01: 10:09

You mean to no, the oldest bar in America was in New Orleans, I thought. Didn't we establish it?

SPEAKER_00: 10:13

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

SPEAKER_01: 10:15

Oh no, no, no, no. In Savannah. Well, you're pointing at me, and it's terrifying. It's my hook. Yes. In Savannah, right?

SPEAKER_00: 10:22

No, it was in New Orleans when we went on that tour with that like awesome 80-year-old tour guide. No, it was it was in New Orleans, but it's the oldest bar in Florida, is what I meant to say. Not the oldest bar in America.

SPEAKER_01: 10:33

Well, that would surprise me that that thing is not in St. Augustine, for example, which is the oldest settlement, right?

SPEAKER_00: 10:38

I mean, it's not far though from St. Augustine, right?

SPEAKER_01: 10:43

I think that another thing that they should consider is all of these, like the seafood shack and all these places, should serve one dish that has nothing to do with like the seafood pilot.

SPEAKER_00: 10:54

I would, as somebody who does not eat seafood would appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01: 10:56

Yeah, yeah. So for example, like we went to, I think it was the sand dollar. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00: 11:00

It was the sand dollar.

SPEAKER_01: 11:01

They have all of the, you know, fish and chips and all these things, plus an immaculate beef wellington.

SPEAKER_00: 11:09

Yeah, but see, here's the thing. As somebody who doesn't eat seafood, you can pretty much count on a burger, a buffalo chicken sandwich, and maybe nachos. But this place only had shrimp nachos. So I had a burger.

SPEAKER_01: 11:24

You go to the tiki bar and you get your your boat drinks and like soup dumplings.

SPEAKER_00: 11:31

This is very good. I like I like this. I like this idea. Do you have more on your list?

SPEAKER_01: 11:36

One more is that all of the town fountains now need to be filled with LaCroix.

SPEAKER_00: 11:41

Oh.

SPEAKER_01: 11:43

And none of the tropical flavors either.

SPEAKER_00: 11:46

Oh, so like cranberry lime or something. That's kind of festive though.

SPEAKER_01: 11:49

Yeah, so there you go. So those are my ideas right there. We gotta make these towns different from each other and different from the cliche. This is all I'm saying to you.

SPEAKER_00: 11:58

So I will say something that's different on Amelia Island is and we didn't visit it, but would be it was really interesting to me, was America Beach.

SPEAKER_01: 12:06

Oh, okay. Well, you can talk about this is history and this is serious, so we can do like one of those really abrupt transitions that we do.

SPEAKER_00: 12:14

No, but I was just saying this this is something I've not I've not seen in other places, and America Beach historically it was created for um African American uh residents, I guess. I mean, I'm sure people traveled from other states or whatever, when they during segregation because they couldn't go to the white beaches. So it was created and founded as a place where black Americans could go to the beach and rest and have respite from uh all of the atrocities that were happening to them.

SPEAKER_01: 12:46

And it was in danger at some points, correct? Is that right? What we were reading? Yeah, so that that is cool. I did enjoy that. Now their downtown area, which is set off from the beach, was interesting because it's very kind of small town, but also filled with again what I see as cookie cutter things that you would find in a small town, or it's styled as a small town, but you can tell there's a lot of money there and there's a lot of tourists there. So like every third store would be like a quote unquote antique store, but you know, the antique store again where everything's distressed, but it was made in China two years ago, type of thing. There was a there was a chocolate slash fudge slash sweet shop on every corner. Um, yeah, it was lovely, but it did seem a little bit like a theme park. It was like a little too manicured, it wasn't unlike downtown St.

SPEAKER_00: 13:39

Pete, like that central Ave or whatever when we go to St. Pete. It was very much like that. Um, I will say though, it was very charming, and I don't know that it would be charming the rest of the year, although I have a really good friend who stays there and loves it. But we just everything was covered in Christmas lights. I mean, just in the white, like white, yeah, warm light. Yeah. And it was just beautiful. I was so charmed.

SPEAKER_01: 14:02

Yeah, no, it was cool. We'll go again. We had never been there before. One thing that I could recommend to you if you have the habit of traveling kind of to like the same places, take a shot, go somewhere different, right? Because we usually we would have either gone to Orlando for our anniversary or to St. Pete, which we love St. Pete. We like Orlando. This was a shot in the dark, could have been absolute shit, and it turned out to be great. So we loved it. So I recommend try something different.

SPEAKER_00: 14:33

We try to stick around the two-hour radius because we we go and we don't bring children with us, and so we need to be close enough to get home if we need to. And I mean, this all fortunately we live in Central Florida, north central Florida, but everything's about a two-hour drive for us, unless it's Miami.

SPEAKER_01: 14:49

I am gonna do a slight pivot now. It has to do with our 11th anniversary. We're gonna do a little assessment here of our relationship. I'm gonna ask a series of questions. I was not told there would be a quiz. I know, and the only reason I know there is a quiz is because I came up with it. Um, but what we're gonna do is seems unfair. It's well, no, because it's not for points. It's just how it's not even how well we know each other, it's just what we think of the relationship.

SPEAKER_00: 15:13

Or that's worse. I'd rather it be. What's your favorite color? I don't okay.

SPEAKER_01: 15:18

No, I'm gonna ask a question like, who do you think does this, or who do you think would be more likely to do that? We get in our mind which one of us we think and then we compare answers and talk about it. It'll be fine.

SPEAKER_00: 15:28

I hope that this goes well. If not, we get like four free sessions with the therapist through my work.

SPEAKER_01: 15:33

Free? Yeah. Shit, I want to do that now. Let's go. Let's can we go right now? Okay, so here's the first one. And uh, folks listening out there, if you have a partner, get them and answer the questions for yourself. It can be a little thing and and write into us familiarwilsons at gmail.com. Like how you how you, you know, did you agree? Did you disagree? Did it start an argument? That would be cool. All right, so here we go. First one who controls the thermostat and what's the agreed upon temperature range before war breaks out?

SPEAKER_00: 16:03

Me.

SPEAKER_01: 16:04

I would say me.

SPEAKER_00: 16:06

Oh, I'm saying me only based on perimenopause because I keep having to crank that joker down. I think our agreed upon typically is 74.

SPEAKER_01: 16:16

No, that's changed.

SPEAKER_00: 16:17

That's not although I I notice it like inching lower. Like 72 is about what I put it on at night.

SPEAKER_01: 16:22

It's 72, and whenever I go buy it and it's not 72, I will put it on 72 because I like sleeping in the cold. So, okay. So we we both do it. There's no central person who controls it. We don't argue about it. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 16:35

It's not like one of us needs it hot and the other one of us needs it cold. We both want it colder. Although our poor children are freezing all the time.

SPEAKER_01: 16:41

I don't care. They have blankets. Uh, who don't report us, please? Who drives when you're together and does the passenger have backseat driver privileges? Okay. Who do you say drives when we're together?

SPEAKER_00: 16:54

I well, it depends. Are we talking about around town or on a road trip?

SPEAKER_01: 16:57

All the information's on the task.

SPEAKER_00: 16:58

I drive mostly when we're in town because we take my car.

SPEAKER_01: 17:01

My answer would be you. You drive mostly. That's that's my answer.

SPEAKER_00: 17:05

Because we take my car, because it's the bigger one. It's the family car, and I just walk to my, I just walk to the car like to get in it and don't even think about it. But when we go on a road trip, we have a set thing where I drive there and you drive back if we're in my car. Yeah. Now we had to take your car because we left Muffy and Winthrop, my car, and so you drove there and back.

SPEAKER_01: 17:26

Oh, that's not how I remember it. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 17:28

Okay, no, you drove and now I have concerns.

SPEAKER_01: 17:31

No, I guess what I'm remembering is you you driving uh downtown. Yeah. So there you go.

SPEAKER_00: 17:36

I drove I drove downtown and back because you had had a couple of the boat drinks.

SPEAKER_01: 17:39

Yes. So, but in general, though, when we're in town, I like it for you to drive.

SPEAKER_00: 17:43

That's that's how you like to play on your phone and not have to deal with the traffic.

SPEAKER_01: 17:46

I don't like to have to deal with the traffic. Yeah, I grew up in Miami, okay? I feel like like I have slight PTSD when it comes to traffic in general, and so I don't like driving. I especially don't like driving at night. We talked about that earlier.

SPEAKER_00: 17:57

No, I have a question for you though, that is about traffic. So when we are first together, I would say something about traffic, and you would kind of like laugh and be like, oh well, you've never lived in Miami. You would scoff, like whatever. But have you found now that the longer you've been here, the more you're like, no, this is proper traffic because you've acclimated to it. But I also feel like there's just so much more development, especially where we live now, there's a lot more traffic like coming home.

SPEAKER_01: 18:21

Yeah, Gainesville does not have traffic the way because I never feel in danger in Gainesville, or very rarely. Yeah. In Miami, it's busy and also like you're taking your life in your hands. Okay. You get your head's got to be on a pivot. You should have uh, you know, cameras all the way around. Like having a Tesla that has cameras all the way around makes sense in Miami. Yeah. For that reason. Um, okay. Who controls the remote and how many shows can one person veto before it's a problem?

SPEAKER_00: 18:50

Um it depends because you and I will fight over who has the remote because neither one of us wants it at night.

SPEAKER_01: 18:59

That's right. I was gonna say you because I never want to do it. But then I always tell you what I what I want or what I don't want to see, really.

SPEAKER_00: 19:07

Yes, that's right. It's like when we when we try to decide where we go eat, I'm like, I don't know where I want to go eat, but I know where I don't want to go eat, and it's all the places that you name. That's what you do at night when you say just put on something funny, and I put something on no, I don't want to watch that. No, I don't want to watch that. No, and we just keep then I will give you the remote out of frustration, but then you still don't want to pick something. So you and I don't argue over like one of us wants control of the remote. We're trying to give it up to the other person.

SPEAKER_01: 19:33

Well, my thing is that we've run out of eight out of ten's cat studs countdown episodes to watch, and so I don't know, and we can only watch the Taskmasters over and over again so many times. So um, well, you answered the question who decides what's for dinner and how many times can I don't know what you think go back and forth. I cannot stand when you do the whole I don't know what it is, but I'll know it when I hear it, or I'll know what where I don't want to go when I hear what's the truth.

SPEAKER_00: 19:56

I well, I think this is indicative of a bigger problem. We uh we eat out. Way too much.

SPEAKER_01: 20:01

No, no. Okay. No. And I don't we don't need to get into that on this comedy podcast. But all I'm telling you is that is in general, when we're trying to decide anything, you're more likely to say, I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want. Yeah. That drives me absolutely up the freaking wall. But my point How did you decide to marry me? Did you just have all of the things?

SPEAKER_00: 20:25

No, I knew I wanted you.

SPEAKER_01: 20:28

That was the last strong opinion you had about what to do. Now I'm like, uh okay. Um, who's in charge of the grocery shopping and who keeps buying snacks that mysteriously disappear? Well, you're in charge of the grocery shopping. I am in charge of the grocery shopping. Which that that works out just fine with me.

SPEAKER_00: 20:43

You have zero interest.

SPEAKER_01: 20:45

I I really don't.

SPEAKER_00: 20:46

But this is this is the thing you do that drives me nuts. Since we're gonna talk about things that drive you nuts. This drives me nuts. Here we go. I will go to the grocery store and then I will have plans for dinner. And then you will call on the way home. What what are the plans for dinner? Do I need to stop? And I'll say, No, I got chicken or whatever, I'm gonna do this. And you go, What? I don't want that. I want ribs or I want this. I'm like, well, you know what? Then do whatever you want, Door Dash whatever you want. But I have this is what I've planned and this is what I'm doing. And then you decide you're not gonna eat, and then I get excited because I'm like, oh, good leftovers. I have lunch tomorrow. And you invariably wander down into the kitchen and then start going, oh, what's that? That looks good. And then you eat the portion you said you didn't want.

SPEAKER_01: 21:28

Are you talking about tonight?

SPEAKER_00: 21:29

No, you didn't eat the pasta tonight. Yeah, I made Orzone.

SPEAKER_01: 21:32

All the chicken.

SPEAKER_00: 21:32

You ate all the chicken, but that's fine. Um, but I always, always know that when you say you're not hungry, it will change once there's food in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_01: 21:41

Not always. I've had fasts before where I haven't eaten.

SPEAKER_00: 21:45

Okay. Majority of the time then.

SPEAKER_01: 21:47

Who controls the music in the car and is there a skip limit?

SPEAKER_00: 21:52

You we don't listen to music a whole lot when we're driving around town. Drives you nuts because I have a Halloween playlist and a Christmas playlist, and it's like the same 12 songs, and I know you get annoyed by that. But we don't we like on road trips, we listen to music, but you will say, like, put on this or something. You tend to drive the music more in this family than I do.

SPEAKER_01: 22:13

Yeah, I was gonna say me, or at least if it's not always me, I wish it was always me. I give you the option because that's the right thing to do, but there are often times where you put something on, and I inside I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, and outside I'm just smiling and listening.

SPEAKER_00: 22:31

Cool. No, I'm annoyed. I know you want me to guess in, but I'm annoyed. Why are you? Just because then just say I don't want to listen to this, or be an act of no, it's not fair to sit here and tell me that it makes you miserable.

SPEAKER_01: 22:48

Well, I probably shouldn't have to be able to do it. What would be fair?

SPEAKER_00: 22:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 22:50

That's what would be fair is not telling me that everything is content, and that's the only reason why I mentioned it. But because I had nothing else written down, so this is the content we got, baby. But no, I I get really particular with music, but I also recognize that that's not fair.

SPEAKER_00: 23:05

It's not fair. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01: 23:06

Right. And so you wouldn't have known had I not seen it, but I'm opening my heart to you.

SPEAKER_00: 23:11

I no one asked that.

SPEAKER_01: 23:13

Okay. Um, let's see. We've already covered that. Who gets which side of the bed? And is this is this negotiable or set in stone forever?

SPEAKER_00: 23:23

Since we've been married, I have always had.

SPEAKER_01: 23:28

Not true.

SPEAKER_00: 23:29

Okay, at the oh no, we switched back and forth at the old house.

SPEAKER_01: 23:33

We switched back and forth, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 23:34

In this house, I've always slept on your left side.

SPEAKER_01: 23:39

Right, which I've grown to now that I'm getting older, I've grown to uh to expect that because we slept in the well, I I don't know actually, because so when we went to the hotel room, we we did opposite. I don't know if you noticed, we did the opposite.

SPEAKER_00: 23:53

Okay, but do you know why we did? Because you refuse to sleep in a hotel bed that is not next to the nightstand because you hog the chargers and the nightstand. Well, every every damn hotel room we go to, you have to sleep next to a nightstand.

SPEAKER_01: 24:08

That's not true.

SPEAKER_00: 24:09

It is true, unless I tell you you have to stop because I need to be closer to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_01: 24:14

That's actually not true.

SPEAKER_00: 24:16

It is true. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01: 24:17

There's so many times where I plug my phone just into the wall that's next to the bed.

SPEAKER_00: 24:23

Because I've moved you. But you initially will always lay down on the side that's next to a nightstand. So, yes, this time, because I forgot to get a king bed, I got two queens, and we slept on the one closer to the window, and you lay down on the side that was near the nightstand, which is then wound up being on the opposite ways we sleep here.

SPEAKER_01: 24:40

But the funny thing is, is that the the charger it the work it didn't work like we had to plug in across those. I will say one thing, and we don't have to discuss this.

SPEAKER_00: 24:51

Um God, don't.

SPEAKER_01: 24:53

What?

SPEAKER_00: 24:53

I think I know what you're gonna say. Go ahead. What do you think? No, I'm not saying out loud what I think you're gonna say, because if it's not what you're gonna say, I don't want to say it.

SPEAKER_01: 25:00

Well, no, it's just that that that we're Yep.

SPEAKER_00: 25:03

That's what I thought you were gonna say. Nope. I can tell by your little red face. Don't say it. No one wants to hear it. Your daughter's friend is here.

SPEAKER_01: 25:14

Well, everyone knows what we're talking about now. Yep. We had a med date, and and my approach was from the other side.

SPEAKER_00: 25:24

So it was like it was felt like being with someone new, is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01: 25:28

Maybe I don't know. And I don't know what I think about that.

SPEAKER_00: 25:31

It's like when you switch hands.

SPEAKER_01: 25:33

Yeah, that's well, I mean, I had to.

SPEAKER_00: 25:35

Oh God. Okay, all done. All done. We're all done with that conversation.

SPEAKER_01: 25:39

Next question: Who's the morning person and who's the night owl?

SPEAKER_00: 25:42

I wind up being the night owl just because I can't sleep. So you fall asleep immediately. You do this thing where you are we're watching TV, you roll on your side, and before I ever say goodnight, you go, nope, not going to sleep, and then you're asleep in 30 seconds. Like it's just your tell. Like you are going to sleep.

SPEAKER_01: 25:59

You know, it's it's interesting though, because there have been a few nights, especially recently, where I can't sleep. So, but we'll turn the TV off and I'll scroll on my phone, and that'll just keep me up and you'll be asleep.

SPEAKER_00: 26:09

Okay. Well, that's good. Good for me. But then I wake up around one or two o'clock in the morning. I am most definitely the later sleeper. I can sleep a lot later than you.

SPEAKER_01: 26:17

I can't sleep past like six.

SPEAKER_00: 26:19

I slept what, till like ten on Saturday?

SPEAKER_01: 26:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Saturday mornings I I tend to want to let you sleep even though I'd prefer to get up and go to the farmer's market.

SPEAKER_00: 26:28

So that's because I pitched a fit and told you to not wake me up.

SPEAKER_01: 26:31

Yeah, you did. Oh, that was another argument. You were pissed, boy. All right, next one. Who handles the spiders and the bugs?

SPEAKER_00: 26:38

Actually, me.

SPEAKER_01: 26:40

What?

SPEAKER_00: 26:40

Me.

SPEAKER_01: 26:41

No.

SPEAKER_00: 26:42

Yes, because they wind up coming out at night once you're asleep, and I get texts from Muffy telling me to come kill him, and I don't wake you up and I go do them.

SPEAKER_01: 26:50

Fine, but I've there have been plenty of times. In fact, recently you called me down to get rid of a spider. Like plenty of times where if I'm awake, you're gonna call me to get them.

SPEAKER_00: 26:58

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It just that we wind up seeing them at night. But if you're awake, then I can call you to get them. Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 27:02

Who takes longer to get ready? You do.

SPEAKER_00: 27:04

Of course I do.

SPEAKER_01: 27:05

Yeah. That's that's I have hair. Yeah. Okay. Um, and like you change your clothes 12 times.

SPEAKER_00: 27:13

Because I'm unhappy with my body and I don't like the way things fit. Thanks for bringing that up.

SPEAKER_01: 27:17

Okay. Very good. Next one. Who's more likely to lose their phone, keys, wallet?

SPEAKER_00: 27:22

Uh 100% you daily. And I don't understand. I come in, my keys go in the same spot every single day. The only time I can't find my keys is if you have had my keys. But I mean, I have lost my phone more often than my than my keys, but you can't find the keys, you can't find a belt, you can't find your phone, and you can't find your glasses. These are things that you do daily.

SPEAKER_01: 27:50

Yep, it is. I have no excuse except I just never set things the same way, and I always assume that I'm gonna remember where I put them, and I never do. Lost my phone yesterday. It was about under some laundry.

SPEAKER_00: 28:01

For a long time you lost your phone. Like you wandered around looking for that for a long time.

SPEAKER_01: 28:05

I knew it. All right, folks. I hope that you enjoyed that as much as we enjoy it.

SPEAKER_00: 28:09

Did we enjoy it?

SPEAKER_01: 28:11

Um, yeah, it's a good thing for you to have these conversations with your partner just to see if you have the same uh view of the relationship as we can.

SPEAKER_00: 28:20

Maybe you don't broadcast it, but yeah, no, I think that's fine. We're fine, we're fine. We're fine. Everything's fine. We're fine, we're fine, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01: 28:27

It's good. It's we're fine. It's email time. If you want to email us, familiarwilsons at gmail.com, and we will read it on the air. Maybe not the whole thing, but we'll we'll we'll hit the highlights. We have an an email today from Germany.

SPEAKER_00: 28:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_01: 28:49

Our friend Monique, who's emailed us before. She says, Hi, Wilsons. No, of course I haven't abandoned you. It's just life getting in the way of listening to podcasts for a while. Well, that only means that in my future there are many hours of enjoying your company. Well, I hope so. I have had a question on a topic that came up several times. How did your fantasy team do? They absolutely imploded. Just like my real life, Miami Dolphins, my fantasy team just was atrocious.

SPEAKER_00: 29:21

The Dolphins won yesterday.

SPEAKER_01: 29:23

Yeah, yeah, but too little, too late. That's where it's different. My fantasy team did not. I'm quite certain that I'm dead last, but to be honest, I haven't looked in the last couple weeks. So she says this. My fantasy team story goes back way, goes back many years, pardon me, around 1990. At work, most of us chipped in 10 guilders. Yeah, this was before the Euro, and got to draw the names out of a bag of five cyclists who were to ride in the Tour de France.

SPEAKER_00: 29:49

Nice.

SPEAKER_01: 29:49

There were prizes for the one who got the winner of the day, the one who won a specific race, who cycled in the green or blue or whatever color jersey, and so on. Truth be told, I did and do not care for cycling at all, unless I am the one riding the bicycle. And the only sport I watch on television is baseball. We have an MLB subscription. Wow, I never would have guessed. That's awesome. I love that. So I did not know of any of my cyclists, right? So I offered up my tenor just to participate and promptly went on vacation. I never heard any of the names mentioned on the radio. Hey, no internet back then, so forgot all about it. Imagine my surprise when I came back to discover that I was the overall biggest winner. Four of my guys had to leave the Tour de France early, but one consistently came in, came in last each and every day, and the colleague organizing all of this had put a price on that too. I used part of my winnings to order cake because the tenor had grown to be over 300 guilds.

SPEAKER_00: 30:50

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01: 30:51

Um, wishing you health and happiness and many more podcasts in 2026. So now wait a second, Monique. You won, though, for being the biggest loser, is what I'm hearing.

SPEAKER_00: 31:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 31:01

Oh, well, man, that's a way to do it. See, I then I am the same as you, except for the the Belsons who are running this uh this fantasy team haven't seen fit to reward me for my ineptitude. So there you go.

SPEAKER_00: 31:15

Where's Josh's cake money, Belsons?

SPEAKER_01: 31:17

That's right. Where's my cake money? Oh, and she has a PS here. Oh, I counted my mugs and there were 51. And since counting them, a new one has appeared, so 52. I'm with Amanda, nothing wrong with that amount. I use them all for different occasions or drinks. Besides, my husband has over 250 different beer glasses, so he does not see a problem either.

SPEAKER_00: 31:36

Where do you store all of the beer glasses?

SPEAKER_01: 31:39

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 31:40

See, but this is right. I get it. I get it, Monique, because I need to be in a mood for a certain amount. Like I open up the mug cabinet and I think, what do I feel like? Do I what kind of weight do I want in my hand? Do I want it to be a fatter one or a thinner one or a heavier one?

SPEAKER_01: 31:53

Wait, what are we talking? Mugs still?

SPEAKER_00: 31:55

Yes, mugs still. Hush. Anyway, thanks for writing, Monique. It was great to hear from you. I hope you had a lovely Christmas.

SPEAKER_01: 32:02

Familiarwilsons at gmail.com is how you get a hold of us. Just let us know what you're thinking. We'll read it. Maybe. No one likes to be told what to do. Now is the time in the podcast where we tell you what to do. Amanda, what should we do?

SPEAKER_00: 32:16

Well, I was gonna recommend this one-pot dinner that I made tonight, and I'll still recommend it. I did a spinach orzo one-pot meal from New York Times Cooking. Go look it up. Super easy. It's basically the flavors of Spanacopada, but in a one-pot meal, so good. But I just got this in from a friend of mine, and I've decided to recommend this instead. It says, PSA, if you hit play on In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins at 11:56 p.m. and 11:56 and 20 seconds p.m. this New Year's Eve, the drum fill will welcome you into 2026. So start the new year the right way. So I recommend you trying that out. Let me know how it goes.

SPEAKER_01: 33:01

There you go. And my uh recommendation is get to know your neighbors.

SPEAKER_00: 33:07

We have friends.

SPEAKER_01: 33:08

We do. We uh we have uh friends that we've made after living in this neighborhood for how many years? Like five years. Five years, yeah. We've we've finally cracked it. We made some friends, Tony and Kate, and we very much enjoy them. Uh they have, I think, the same twisted sense of humor that we have. Life is better when you know the people around you.

SPEAKER_00: 33:29

I somehow, though, I really very much enjoy because we meet in the green space and we hang out and the kids play and whatever. Uh Kate wanders around and takes pictures of all the broken stuff in the neighborhood. And I, though, think that I have made them question this group, this group chat thread that we were in. Because when I went thrifting the other day, I had them, I had not thrifting, when I went antiquing with Muffy the other day, I had a moment where who do I send all of the weird things that I'm seeing to? Should I send them just to Josh? The last time I went, I sent them to you in the Belsins. This time I sent it to you, Tony, and Kate, because I felt like I needed other people to appreciate the things I was seeing. And I think that they might have started to regret that they were in this thread with us.

SPEAKER_01: 34:11

You know, they can always just mute you.

SPEAKER_00: 34:15

Just me. I can't mute a person in a group chat. You have to mute the group chat.

SPEAKER_01: 34:21

So this is a question that I posed to Tony the other day as I was talking to him. And I wonder if any of you think this way. If you have another couple that you hang out with, do you ever ask yourself, okay, so this is two couples. Which one of us is the Flintstones and which one of us is the Rubbles?

SPEAKER_00: 34:38

What did he say?

SPEAKER_01: 34:40

I don't know that he had an answer. I don't really have an answer. Um, I think probably everyone thinks that they're the Flintstones because that's those are the main characters, maybe, but I don't know. It's something for us to consider. Would we be the the Rubbles or the Flintstones?

SPEAKER_00: 34:55

Can I be the Jetsons instead?

SPEAKER_01: 34:57

The Jetsons. Well, the that's just the Flintstones in space.

SPEAKER_00: 35:00

That's all that is. Good luck, friends. Whatever, whatever happens, good luck.

SPEAKER_01: 35:28

So we would like to uh to thank the following people without whom we would not be able to make this podcast. As the sun sinks low and the cooler runs out of ice, we would like to thank Antonio for somehow always finding the one quiet spot on a loud beach. Josh Scar for bringing the speaker and absolutely refusing to turn it down. Daniel J. Buckets to committing to the bit and the sandcastle. Chicken Tom for asking, is it safe to swim? But already being waist deep. Matt for watching everyone's stuff and missing everything. Monique from Germany for calmly explaining how beaches work better in Europe. Joey. Leo for running directly into the ocean like it personally wronged him. Refine gay Jeff for the perfectly timed sunglasses reveal and gentle judgment. To Ryan Baker for grilling something that was not meant to be grilled. Mark and Rachel for the best beach blanket setup, and Dan and Gavin for staying until the very end, even when everyone else said we should probably head out.

SPEAKER_00: 36:30

Can I just say I thought about this? We we talked to Mark and Rachel on Christmas. Was it Christmas Eve or Christmas night? Christmas night. They called and it was so lovely. So you know, you I rarely do people call each other anymore. We FaceTime with them and it was lovely.

SPEAKER_01: 36:46

Yes, it was. And and by the way, they were calling us from North England, so it was quite a bit later there. So I appreciated that they went and they made their rounds and they called all of their friends, and it was great. So call your friends. That's my other recommendation. Call your friends.

SPEAKER_00: 37:02

Maybe text them first and say nothing's wrong. Because people freak out when the phone rings.

SPEAKER_01: 37:06

Yeah, but do the people freak out when uh the FaceTime, because people usually don't FaceTime bad news, do they?

SPEAKER_00: 37:13

No, not usually. So that's that's better.

SPEAKER_01: 37:16

Okay, so there you go. So rule of thumb: FaceTime good, telephone call bad. All right, folks, so until next week, y'all take it easy. And just as we prance into the new year, just remember this is an arbitrarily decided new beginning for you. So you might as well take advantage of it.

SPEAKER_00: 37:33

And and maybe don't make resolutions, just make you like the intentions or things you want to try, and then you won't feel as bad when you don't do them.

SPEAKER_01: 37:41

Sounds perfect.

SPEAKER_00: 37:43

All right, go be kind. Bye bye.