How Not to Explain Where Babies Come From

Relationships are the story. And this week on Super Familiar with the Wilsons, that story includes Olympic drama, jalapeño eye trauma, Gen X sex education trauma, and one extremely inconvenient question from a nine-year-old.

We dive into Winter Olympics chaos (cheating scandals, flying survivalists, and medals that can’t hang), flash back to how we learned about “the birds and the bees” (spoiler: not well), and wrestle with modern parenting in a world where YouTube exists and woods no longer hide questionable magazines.

There’s also:

• A surprisingly intense olive oil investigation
• A New York Times history game gone sideways
• Listener emails from Ohio to Germany
• Random ear hairs (why?)
• Screen time struggles
• Thrift store fashion wins
• And one heartfelt reminder to say the thing before it’s too late

It’s marriage 2.0. With kids. And side quests.
Always the side quests.

Subscribe, listen, and please… don’t punch a puppy.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons
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Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Chapters

• 0:00 Stumbles, Format, And Setup
• 1:04 Olympics Hype And Curling Controversy
• 3:19 Winter Sports, Risk, And Viral Moments
• 7:15 Parenting Curveball: What 69 Means
• 12:02 How We Learned About Sex
• 20:03 Screen Time Boundaries And Language
• 22:23 Real Olive Oil And Avocado Oil Tips
• 26:03 Flashback Game: History On A Timeline
• 33:14 Listener Mail: Snow, Speeding, And Americanisms
• 46:05 Recommendations: Thrifting And Say The Thing
• 49:20 Gratitude And Gentle Sign-Off

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

Familiar Wilson's Media. Relationships are the story.

SPEAKER_00: 0:09

Just like to remind you that I have jalapenos on my fingers still and I just rub my eyes again.

SPEAKER_02: 0:15

The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. Three, two, one. Run.

SPEAKER_01: 0:27

Super familiar with it.

SPEAKER_00: 0:36

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_02: 0:38

And I'm Josh. And this is take three of us just trying to do the intro with me screwing it up. This is the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

SPEAKER_00: 0:49

And side quests.

SPEAKER_02: 0:50

And all the side quests.

SPEAKER_00: 0:51

Including starting over three times.

SPEAKER_02: 0:53

You'd think that after five years that I'd be better at this, but I think that I'm getting a little bit worse every day.

SPEAKER_00: 0:57

It does not bode well for the rest of this episode. So we've already done three takes for the first 10 seconds of content.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04

Today we're going to talk about what to do when the nine-year-old asks us what 69 means. But first, let's talk about the Olympics. The Olympics are winding up today. Today is Sunday, and the closing ceremonies is at 2 30. And I have really, really, really gotten into this Olympics.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22

I used to be really into figure skating when we were younger, but now it's not a thing so much anymore. I don't know. I'm having a hard time with Winter Olympics, other than I feel like every time I look at our TV, curling is on.

SPEAKER_02: 1:35

But curling has also given us a bit of a controversy.

SPEAKER_00: 1:39

Oh, people were cheating.

SPEAKER_02: 1:40

Canada was cheating. Canada, maybe amongst many others, but Canada got called out for cheating because when you start going down the ice runway and you're holding on to the big stone with the handle on it, there's a green line, and you're supposed to let go of the stone before that green line and not touch it. And so what they were doing is they were letting go. And then he had his little bitty uh index finger, and he'd just touch a car a tiny, like, hey, have a good time. Gonna miss you. Do well, son, whatever. Just the tiniest little caress. But the thing that surprised me wasn't that, because whatever, people try to gain the advantage all the time. It's the fact that that Canada somehow became the bad guy. And Canada is supposed to be full of nice guys, but the gentleman on Canada's team responded in a very American way.

SPEAKER_00: 2:31

Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_02: 2:32

And I didn't like it. I went into this Olympics saying, okay, I'm gonna root for Canada, the country of my origin, Italy, because they're the home country, and I always want to see the home country do well. It's it's just it's fun to watch that and to hear the crowd get into it. Japan, because the first night we watched figure skating, there was this wee little cute Japanese figure skater gentleman who I was just like, okay, I'm gonna root for his team. And I feel like there was another team that I was kind of going for for some weird, obscure reason. But I've kind of soured on Canada now because of one person, because of the reaction, and it's like, are they now becoming America North?

SPEAKER_00: 3:10

What did he say?

SPEAKER_02: 3:11

No, he just was effing and Jeff and all over the place and telling the guy to shut up and all this, like out in front of people. So it was very interesting though. Lots of drama in this Olympics that I was that I was intrigued by, including the fact that, and I don't know if this just speaks to our plastic world now, the Olympic medals started to fall off. Did you see this?

SPEAKER_00: 3:31

Were they like not not attached to the ribbon or like the gold fell off the circle?

SPEAKER_02: 3:37

No, it didn't, the gold didn't melt off. No, like the little clasps that was holding on the ribbon apparently was cheaply made. Um, those darn tariffs. Good. Uh, but yeah, and so they started they started to break apart. It's just such a weird world in which we live. And I'm not here to be overly political, but I think that everyone on this planet can agree that we live in interesting and different times, like unprecedented times.

SPEAKER_00: 4:01

Well, first of all, the Winter Olympics so much more dangerous than the Summer Olympics. The Summer Olympics are like how fast can you swim? How fast can you run? Uh, gymnastics is probably the most dangerous of the Summer Olympics, right? But here, it's like ski down this super tall mountain at like 90 miles an hour and then become a flying squirrel and land well, or skate around this really, you know, fast rink with these razor sharp blades. Did you see that somebody got cut?

SPEAKER_02: 4:31

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 4:33

And they're blaming, apparently they're blaming the American. They kicked the American girl out, but on the replay, which is no longer happening, it was actually the Italian star that like started the fall, and the girl who got hurt got pushed into the American's blade. Uh-huh. That's what I'm hearing. But there's lots of controversy. Apparently, some people I got really into ski jump. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_02: 4:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 4:55

But apparently somebody was in trouble for adding fabric to the crotch of these things.

SPEAKER_02: 5:00

Oh, yeah. That's that's old news, friend.

SPEAKER_00: 5:02

I know, but I'm saying, like, it's just really weird, right? But then there were some really lovely stories too, like the dog who set off the finish line camera because he escaped from his farm and he raced with the skiers. And then also this Alyssa Liu thing where you know she came back and said, No more toxic, whatever. Like, dad, you can't coach me. I'm gonna do my own music and do my own hair and I'm gonna do this. And then she got gold, but also she was so supportive of the silver and bronze medal, and like just it was this lovely moment of women celebrating each other. So there were some lovely things, but winter Olympics, it's like it's like in the triathlon, right? In summer, it's like went swim, bike, run. Here it's like ski down, and here's your gun. Like, why is winter so much more dangerous?

SPEAKER_02: 5:50

I don't know, but that particular event does remind me of a James Bond flick, like from the 80s where Bond had to do just that. Ski, shoot someone, then get the hell out of there.

SPEAKER_00: 6:00

Yeah, what's the other? Is it just no a try means three? So what is it just a biathlon in winter? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02: 6:06

No, I think that it's it's ski, shoot someone, and then gut and skin them.

unknown: 6:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 6:11

Excellent, good. So survivalists is what we're saying. This is the Olympics of the survivalists, got it.

SPEAKER_02: 6:17

Well, that's the right time of history for that. Right. So anyway, I've really enjoyed the uh the Olympics this year, and I'm sad to see them go today um at 2 30. Already gone by the time this episode gets out. So farewell, Olympics. Thanks for visiting. Thanks for making it interesting. And now we'll have to move on to the next whatever blood sport that we grab onto, whether it's football or tiger king, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 6:41

Where is summer? Is it coming to the States?

SPEAKER_02: 6:43

I don't know. Oh, we could look that up, I guess.

SPEAKER_00: 6:45

While you're looking that up, I would just like to remind you that I have jalapenos under my on my fingers still, and I just rub my eyes again. This is now the fifth time since I made dinner last night. That and I have showered, I have washed my hands. Apparently, it is not going away, and I just got more jalapeno burn in my eye.

SPEAKER_02: 7:04

Okay. Well, we're gonna pause right now to render medical aid, and then you're gonna be able to do it. Also, are your eyes okay?

SPEAKER_00: 7:58

My eyes are fine. Okay. Thank you for prioritizing the Summer Olympics over me. When were the last time they were in LA?

SPEAKER_02: 8:05

No, we're not doing that. I'm not looking up anything else. I think it was in the 80s.

SPEAKER_00: 8:09

I was gonna say, but you were alive, you should remember.

SPEAKER_02: 8:11

Yeah, I should remember. I don't freaking remember where my wallet is, right? So Winthrop asked you the other day, Mom, what does 69 mean?

SPEAKER_00: 8:22

I don't know where that came from. So, well, uh he was talking about six seven because God, it won't go away. Right. Right. And then he's got this thing where now five five is a thing for him.

SPEAKER_02: 8:33

She's just trying to come up with the next one.

SPEAKER_00: 8:35

No, no, it's some YouTuber, and then um, then he but his thing is eight ten. He's made that one up. So like okay. But then he was like, he was talking about them and he said, Mom, what is sixty-nine? And I said, I don't know why. And he said, Well, he said, Well, Sissy knows what it means, so he threw Muffy under the bus.

SPEAKER_02: 8:54

And I said, So, in other words, he asked Muffy first, and she she wouldn't say so.

SPEAKER_00: 8:59

I've asked Muffy and she said, I do not remember this, but we have both we've come to the conclusion that it's possible that somebody said something about it and she kind of giggled, and then he said, What does that mean? And she said nothing, like she wouldn't tell him.

SPEAKER_02: 9:13

Now we've talked about this before about how how you and I were taught about or not taught, not taught left to find out from our peers. Or some of us learn from publications, you know, books that the parents would surreptitiously leave around the house, maybe open to page 24 and 25 or whatever. In my case, it was a and I talked about this before, like a 13 or 14 13 or 14 volumes on sex. Well, no, it's a lot of sex. No, it was called the Life Cycle Library, and apparently it had everything, and so all of these volumes had things, and of course I don't remember what volumes one through twelve had, because I couldn't give a damn.

SPEAKER_00: 9:53

Probably the butterfly and the caterpillar.

SPEAKER_02: 9:55

You think? Well, no, uh I think that that was in volume 13, which was my favorite volume, and it didn't even have I don't remember it having saucy pictures, but I remember it still being thrilling for me to find out about these things. That's how I found out. I didn't even I went to Christian school, so of course they didn't have sex ed class there, and my friends didn't really talk about it. I would go spend the night at a friend's house and I would always be the last one to fall asleep.

SPEAKER_00: 10:32

Were you just afraid they were gonna do things to you if you stayed awake? No, this I mean if you fell asleep.

SPEAKER_02: 10:36

No, this had nothing to do with any of that, it's just I just happened to be the last one to fall asleep. And so I'd wander into the other room and the guy's father had those channels.

SPEAKER_00: 10:46

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02: 10:46

So I learned a lot from that, and also he was Brazilian, so he had a lot of um magazines that were, I guess, about carnival. Okay. But lots of naked ladies. Lots of naked ladies. So I learned a lot from well, a lot was inferred from from all of that.

SPEAKER_00: 11:05

I learned uh from Playboy.

SPEAKER_02: 11:07

Wait, what? So wait, what?

SPEAKER_00: 11:09

So I'm telling you that I've told you this story. I don't think so. Okay, so I think it was like fifth ish grade. Um, a good friend of mine who her uncle happens to be quite a prolific publisher in the world of Christian um business management. Oh.

SPEAKER_02: 11:27

No, don't name any names, please.

SPEAKER_00: 11:29

Okay, you can bleep that out, but are you aware of who the f is? Very much, it's very famous. So his niece and I went to a Christian school together.

SPEAKER_02: 11:37

I can't believe that you were gonna just name that name and leave that out there. Can't do that. People cancel.

SPEAKER_00: 11:42

You can bleep it.

SPEAKER_02: 11:42

I will if I remember.

SPEAKER_00: 11:44

I was just telling you. Anyway, we went to we went to school together. We were really good friends, and her parents had quite a bit of money and lived in this very big mansion house. And um we I would spend the night with her, and like we her parents would go out. So we'd be left with like the housekeeper, and she was like, Let me show you something. Took me into her parents' room, opened her dad's drawer, and pulled out some Playboys, and was like, I found these. And now, first of all, I'm dealing with this is like a really big like Christian man in our church, right? Yes, and and second, I'm like, I don't quite understand what I'm looking at. And then she said, You know how babies are born, right? And I said no. And this so then she proceeded to tell me, and then I got really upset my parents had done that.

SPEAKER_02: 12:29

Did you confront them about it?

SPEAKER_00: 12:31

No, my mom didn't even tell me about periods. I learned it from like most Gen X girls. Are you there, God, it's me, Margaret?

SPEAKER_02: 12:40

Uh, I'm not familiar with that.

SPEAKER_00: 12:42

You don't know, are you there, God, it's me, Margaret?

SPEAKER_02: 12:44

Well, I never had to read period books.

SPEAKER_00: 12:46

No, this is like a giant Judy Bloom, like coming of age book for every Gen X woman. I cannot Kate. I cannot believe Josh doesn't know this. And she talks about like getting her period, and I remember asking my mom, sitting there in the living room, reading this book and asking my mom what menstruation was, and her very grudgingly having to explain it to me. And in the book, she also talks about going behind the AMP with her boyfriend. But I didn't know AMP is, I guess, a grocery store chain like elsewhere in the country. Sure. But I inferred it to be something like dirty, so I spent some time trying to figure out what an AMP stood for. Well, I guess, yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02: 13:25

Oh, that's that's good. That's good. So, anyway, and I think varying degrees of success have I approached this with my children.

SPEAKER_00: 13:34

Not me, huh? Not me with my feet.

SPEAKER_02: 13:37

Well, no, we took care of that right quick, dude. For those of you who haven't heard this story, we chose to tell her in the middle of a restaurant on Valentine's Day as we were all eating. Why did why did we do that?

SPEAKER_00: 13:52

Because she asked. Because we had this thing when she was little where she would ask a question, we'd say, When you're 10, when you're 10. Because we've been together since she was seven. She'd ask questions, we'd say, We'll tell you when you're 10. But then on her 10th birthday, Winthrop was born. So there I no one was around to tell her things on her 10th birthday because we were in the hospital. And then it just became, but I know it was after that because he was in a high chair. So I don't know if she was 11. She asked me the other day how old she was, and I can't remember. And she was asking about animals, actually. And I remember she was just like, How does and I remember saying, What two pieces do you think would fit together? And she just looked horrified and then started crying. So it was not, but you know what? That's the only one I have to deal with because you get Winthrop.

SPEAKER_02: 14:43

Well, with the two older boys, you know, I did tell them together and they kind of suffered through the whole explanation. So I think it'll be okay with Winthrop. You know, the reality is that he is in public school. And so when do they when do they learn about it in public school?

SPEAKER_00: 15:01

I think sixth grade.

SPEAKER_02: 15:02

Oh, okay. Well, we're not gonna wait that long. That's almost too late.

SPEAKER_00: 15:05

I know, because by then they've learned to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02: 15:07

Just things are happening uh already, yeah. So I am curious though, parents out there, um, how did you tell your kids? Or kids out there who were adults, how did your parents tell you? I'm very, very interested.

SPEAKER_00: 15:19

What did you learn from the Belsons?

SPEAKER_02: 15:21

Oh, I did ask the Belsons and I said, Did did your parents um tell you? And the answer was basically good lord no. Um, let's see, what did they say? We had sex education at school involved watching videos and giggling. And I said, and also nudie magazines hidden in the trees across the street. And Dan says, Of course, finding a lady's bush in a bush was a rare treat.

SPEAKER_00: 15:45

Oh my god. See, we've talked about this on the podcast before. That I I don't know why. I am still just shocked that people were leaving porn mags in the woods. Like, I don't know. That's just the strangest thing to me.

SPEAKER_02: 15:57

I don't know if people were doing it. I just know that in my neighborhood there was a stand of trees that you would go and there they were.

SPEAKER_00: 16:04

It was like a lending library before it was like, you know, the things that people built in the front yard that looked like a birdhouse with books in it.

SPEAKER_02: 16:10

It is true that the the magazines would disappear and then new ones would replace them. So I don't know what was going on. I feel like oh gross. I feel like um, like maybe a dad.

SPEAKER_00: 16:21

Because he could he wasn't allowed to have him in the house.

SPEAKER_02: 16:23

Yeah, so like he would get the the month's uh uh ep episode uh subscription and then he was done with it and he'd throw it into the into the trees or something.

SPEAKER_00: 16:34

So I dated a guy in high school uh qu for quite some time, for like a couple years. So we were really like I knew his family really, really well, and his grandfather had a subscription that they left out on the dining room. I mean not the dining room table, the coffee table. It was like coffee table, like in it just all the Playboys or I don't even maybe maybe penthouse, but I feel like those were worse. Um, and I was just like, I was looking at his grandmother, like, why is this okay with you? I mean, and this man was like in solidly in his 80s.

SPEAKER_02: 17:04

I'm remembering an embarrassing moment that I had as a teenager that had been buried until just right now.

SPEAKER_00: 17:11

Okay, I'm so excited because we've been together for so long. I know all the stories. This is a new one.

SPEAKER_02: 17:16

It is a neighbor of ours that we would go over to visit. It was a man and his wife, they didn't have kids, so my dad would go over and have dinner with them, and I would go over and hang out in the guy's office because there was a TV in there. Well, one one day I found the the channel guide, the TV guide to the Playboy channel.

SPEAKER_00: 17:37

Oh.

SPEAKER_02: 17:38

And of course I grabbed that and I took that home with me.

SPEAKER_00: 17:41

You stole this from the man's house.

SPEAKER_02: 17:43

I did, yeah. I hid it in my high school yearbook from the previous year.

SPEAKER_00: 17:48

But like out in the living room or in your bedroom?

SPEAKER_02: 17:51

Um, did you not hear what I hid in it? It was in my bedroom. Well, one day some other people were visiting and they were like, Oh, you you have a yearbook, you know, can we see it? And I didn't think anything. I gave them the yearbook. They open it and it was the woman, it was the wife, right? And she just looked at it and she she read the first thing that she saw that was on this Playboy TV guide, and I will never forget it. She just opens it, totally straight face, and she says, huh. Bring the girl next door home to play. And I grabbed that shit out of her hands as quick as I could and booked my ass back to my bedroom. And they did not see me again that evening.

SPEAKER_00: 18:36

Did Dad say anything to you about that?

SPEAKER_02: 18:38

No one spoke of it again. I was so, so embarrassed. Oh my god. I bet at that point, the Life Cycle Library volume 13 had done its job. It's done its job, and I needed to move on to TV channel.

SPEAKER_00: 18:55

TV channel guides? Yes. Well, what but were there pictures in the channel guide? Like, why would you want to own the channel guide?

SPEAKER_02: 19:01

Well, there was no nudity, but it was close. I was a teenager dude and we didn't have the internet.

SPEAKER_00: 19:06

Didn't you have the Sears Bra catalog?

SPEAKER_02: 19:08

No, we didn't have the freaking Sears Bra catalog.

SPEAKER_00: 19:11

That was a thing that I think the guys in the 70s got off on.

SPEAKER_02: 19:14

All we had was um, we had satellite TV, so all we had was the channels that were scrambled.

SPEAKER_00: 19:20

Where you could flip them back and forth real fast and make them see something.

SPEAKER_02: 19:22

You couldn't flip it back and forth because it wouldn't, it wouldn't satellite, yeah. It was satellite, so you would just try to make out like images, like see what you can see. And every now and again, it like you know, the the clouds parting and you seeing the beautiful sunrise, you'd be able to make something out, and then it would scramble again. So, as they say, it was a difficult wank.

SPEAKER_00: 19:43

It was Picasso porn. Yeah, so oh god, I hope our children don't listen to this. You realize that people we know listen to this, right?

SPEAKER_02: 19:52

Uh this did listen. Anyone who wants to deny their teenage shenanigans, they can certainly do that. But I'm in my 50s and that was a long ass time ago. So there you go.

SPEAKER_00: 20:03

The only book that I had to to look at that was allowed to be in my house was on my brother's bookshelf when he went to the Navy and it was called Straight Talk About Sex, but it was a Christian book. And so in it, people were asking if self-pleasure was a sin, and the answer was that self-pleasure wasn't, because there was nothing in the Bible to say it wasn't, but it's the impure thoughts that go with it that that's a sin. So however you can do one without the other is fine.

SPEAKER_02: 20:29

All I know is that when I was a kid, I did have this um this Bible, the story of the Bible illustrated, and Eve was looking pretty freaking hot.

SPEAKER_00: 20:41

Oh God.

SPEAKER_02: 20:42

All of that is to say, um, how did you learn about sex? Did you learn from your parents? Did you learn from peers? Did you learn from a dirty magazine under a log? Uh let us know, familiarwilsons at gmail.com. So I am in my 50s and I'm trying to get myself on a little health kick here. Yes. And this involves several complicated steps, and one of them is like looking at what I eat and and paying attention to that. One of my favorite things in the world is olive oil.

SPEAKER_00: 21:20

You do love olive oil so much.

SPEAKER_02: 21:23

But I found out that what I'm drinking is probably And it is drinking. Yeah, no, I said dream. I say drinking.

SPEAKER_00: 21:30

Because you would if you could.

SPEAKER_02: 21:31

No, what what I'm ingesting, cheese, is likely not olive oil or very, very little bit of pure olive oil, and and the rest is like seed oils and crap, and like maybe months old and spoiled, and all this and that. And I never really paid attention to that. I just assume it says olive oil. Oh, a little thing here says it's good for your heart health. Not so much. So these are the things that I found out that you should look for in olive oil. Oil and that I will be looking for from now on. And what this means is that if I I really like this stuff and I really believe that it's good for my health, I'm gonna be paying more money.

SPEAKER_00: 22:11

Yeah, but you also maybe should have it in moderation.

SPEAKER_02: 22:13

Okay, we're not here to talk about that. Not the point. The point is that good olive oil, pure olive oil costs more money than than the crap that you get on the shelves of your local store.

SPEAKER_00: 22:23

Even that has gotten exponentially more expensive.

SPEAKER_02: 22:26

Um, one problem at a time, please. So this is what I understand. First of all, the smell and the taste, right? Yeah, real pure olive oil should smell grassy, like of like fresh, fresh nature, fresh grass. It should taste bitter and there should be like a peppery sensation in the back of your throat. It should almost burn. Now I've experienced this with the last couple of bottles of olive oil that I purchased, and I recognized it because way back in the day, and I'm talking about years ago, I had a person that I worked with who gave me um some olive oil from a family farm in Italy. Yes. Like remote family farm. And I tasted that, and it first of all, it smelled grassy, right? And when I tasted it, it tasted like kind of bitter, and it gave me that peppery shot in the back of my throat. And for the first time, I'm like, oh, this is real olive oil. Because it had been bottled like two months before or something. It was very, very new. And so that's the other thing that you should look for. It needs to have a harvested-on date. If it doesn't have a harvested on date on the bottle, then you're probably not being hit with like genuine olive oil.

SPEAKER_00: 23:41

Does it also have an expiration date on it?

SPEAKER_02: 23:43

Uh, I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_00: 23:44

Well, it's not a it's not a worry in this house at all.

SPEAKER_02: 23:47

Yeah, no. Um, if you put it in the fridge, if you get it cold, it should get cloudy and it should solidify. Real olive oil does that. If it doesn't do that, if it stays a liquid in the fridge, then you don't have real olive oil. Also, it should have a region of origin stamped on it. Like not packed in Italy, but packed in this region of Italy or from this farm. Right. Definitely not product of several countries, which is what some of them say. But the biggest indicator, once you taste real olive oil, you can't go back. You're like, okay, well, this is what we're talking about. This is what we're doing. So from now on, yeah, I'm gonna have to spend more money on it, but if it's not giving me the health benefits that I'm looking for from what it supposedly does, then what's the point of buying it in the first place?

SPEAKER_00: 24:30

Well, since we we talked about this yesterday, um, I was thinking, you know, we were using olive oil to cook with as well. And that goes through pretty quickly. So I went and um purchased avocado oil because it has a higher burn point. It's still healthier than some of these other oils. But then you questioned how do you know if it's real avocado oil? So I looked it up and it's basically the same thing, but it's saying pure, unrefied, cold-pressed avocado oil should be a rich green color due to high chlorophyll levels. It should have a mild, nutty or earthy aroma, almost like a mushroom aroma. It should list only 100% avocado oil if it contains other oils like soybean canola or sunflower oil. It's a blend not pure, but it doesn't say that on it. But then it also says to look for third-party certifications like the seed seed oil-free certified seal. Um, it's almost always packaged in dark green bottles to protect it from the light and prevent it from becoming rancid. And then authentic oil often comes from reputable single source locations such as Mexico. So that's what if you want to switch to avocado oil for cooking, those are the things you should look for.

SPEAKER_02: 25:37

There you go. This has been a public service announcement direct to you from the Wilson Consumer Advocacy Group.

SPEAKER_01: 25:59

Game time!

SPEAKER_00: 26:05

That music means it's game time, and that is by our son AJCW. I did it right because I practiced it in my head before we talked. Usually I flip those initials all around. But it is game time. We have not done a flashback in a while, Josh. Are you ready to show your knowledge of history?

SPEAKER_02: 26:22

Absolutely. How does this game work again?

SPEAKER_00: 26:24

So I'm gonna give you a series of events and you are gonna place them on a timeline. Um, the first one I'm gonna give you uh if you're playing along, you can play the New York Times version on your phone. It is a free uh game for you to go play. However, uh it will give you the anchoring date, but I'm not gonna give it to Josh. He's gonna try to guess, but this doesn't count toward his point total. All right, Josh, you ready?

SPEAKER_02: 26:47

It was way too complicated, but just go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 26:49

Okay. Pirates hold a young Julius Caesar for ransom. Insulted, he insists they ask for more money.

SPEAKER_02: 26:56

This is gonna show my absolute non-knowledge of history. Uh I know that that's in BC.

SPEAKER_00: 27:03

Yes, that's correct.

SPEAKER_02: 27:05

So let's say 300 BC.

SPEAKER_00: 27:07

75 BCE.

SPEAKER_02: 27:09

75 BCE. Okay. So that now you're gonna give me uh dates, and I'm gonna say that they're before and before or after, and I hope to god you get this one right.

SPEAKER_00: 27:21

The Gettysburg Address gets mixed reviews. A Massachusetts Massachusetts masses masses, a Massachusetts newspaper calls it perfect, while one in Pennsylvania says it's silly and soon to be forgotten. Is that before or after Julius Caesar was held for ransom?

SPEAKER_02: 27:37

Well, I got this one right because that is absolutely after Julius Caesar, but I'm also gonna try to guess what date it is, and I'm gonna say 1872.

SPEAKER_00: 27:46

Ooh, 1863. Close.

SPEAKER_02: 27:49

Okay, very good.

SPEAKER_00: 27:50

All right. Uh second one, a Pennsylvania newspaper finally apologizes for calling the Gettysburg Address silly. It apologi its apology begins seven score and ten years ago. So was that before or after the Gettysburg Address?

SPEAKER_02: 28:05

Well, that is after, um, and that's like um 1927.

SPEAKER_00: 28:12

2013. Oh, okay. You're still still winning, but that was a little something. Okay. All right. Next one. A radio station in Ecuador broadcasts its own version of the War of the Worlds. Angry that they've been tricked, listeners burn down the station.

SPEAKER_02: 28:34

Why doesn't someone burn down TikTok? This is what I'm saying. All right, so we're gonna say uh 1960.

SPEAKER_00: 28:41

Well, because you cannot find the building TikTok. 1949. So still, still doing well. All right, next one. The poet Jeffrey Chaucer performs at a royal feast and receives a gift from the king, a gallon of wine a day for life.

SPEAKER_02: 28:58

Ooh, that's it.

SPEAKER_00: 28:59

He later trades it in for cash.

SPEAKER_02: 29:01

Okay, so Jeffrey Chaucer, we're gonna put that straight in the 1700s, 1772.

SPEAKER_00: 29:10

1374.

SPEAKER_02: 29:11

Okay, well, I still get it right because I put it in between the right things. 1374 is Chaucer. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 29:18

I'm curious if you know this uh before I give you the title. And able to find a publisher for his new fantasy game, Gary Gygax decides to publish it himself. His daughter helps pick the title.

SPEAKER_02: 29:32

Dungeons and Dragons.

SPEAKER_00: 29:34

There you go. So when did Dungeons and Dragons happen?

SPEAKER_02: 29:36

All right, we're gonna say 1979.

SPEAKER_00: 29:39

1973.

SPEAKER_02: 29:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 29:41

Closest we've gotten so far. All right, we got three more. Tennessee bans the teaching of evolution. Oh, this must have been just last week. A teacher, John Scopes, asks his own student to testify against him in a grand jury so he can test the law in court. So he said to his students, Testify me. Testify against me. Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 30:03

So this is the Scopes monkey trial. I don't know when that happened. We're gonna say we're gonna say in between uh 1949 and 1973. The 19 in the nineteen fifties. Oh, I got that wrong though.

SPEAKER_00: 30:21

Okay, so yeah, you're you're you're seven of six of seven right now. Okay, two more. Arrested for illegally voting, Susan B. Anthony argues that she already has the right to vote. The judge disagrees and fines her$100, but she never pays.

SPEAKER_02: 30:38

Um we're gonna say 1915. So after the Gettysburg Address, but before Scopes. And before Scopes.

SPEAKER_00: 30:46

1872.

SPEAKER_02: 30:47

So I got that right.

SPEAKER_00: 30:48

Yeah. All right, last one. Ready?

SPEAKER_02: 30:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 30:51

The Aztec Empire begins with an alliance between three Mesoamerican cities. For currency, the Empire uses a national treasure, cocoa beans.

SPEAKER_02: 31:02

Okay, we're gonna so that has to be between Julius Caesar Caesar? No, Julius Caesar.

SPEAKER_00: 31:08

You don't know what happened when he was in in Julius Caesar and Chaucer.

SPEAKER_02: 31:12

I have no earthly idea on a date.

SPEAKER_00: 31:14

Uh 1428. So after Chaucer.

SPEAKER_02: 31:18

Really? Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 31:18

So you've got six of eight events correct on this week's flashback.

SPEAKER_02: 31:22

I think I should stop doing these flashback quizzes because I'm getting worse and worse.

SPEAKER_00: 31:27

So you scored in so it does uh like how other readers scored. Only eight percent of people who have done this week's flashback got a perfect score. 64% got 24 to 27. You fell within 24% of the people.

SPEAKER_02: 31:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 31:45

Sorry. That one was not so good. Uh, do you want to know why these things were picked this week?

SPEAKER_02: 31:51

Why they decided to ask these questions? Sure, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 31:53

Well, because uh the pirates thing is because hard to track currencies like Bitcoin are now commonly used in ransom demands. So there's that. Jeffrey Chaucer is because tariffs were meant to help U.S. producers, but wine growers have been hurt instead. There you go. Oh, it also gives us data on who like how much um have been so the Aztec Empire, only 10% of readers placed the event correctly.

SPEAKER_02: 32:17

Okay, well, very good. I mean, it's just an indictment on the American educational system, though. I don't know. I'm not excited for having gotten this stuff wrong.

SPEAKER_00: 32:25

99, more than 99% got um Abraham Lincoln correct. Uh 89% got Susan B. Anthony correct. 83% of the readers got uh or the players got um the Scopes Monkey trial correct. Okay, very good. So, but this is involved because new studies shed light on how life evolved from simple to complex cells. Uh, it will not shock you that 97% of people got Dungeons and Dragons correct, and um more than 99% people got the Pennsylvania newspaper correct.

SPEAKER_02: 32:56

Okay. And I am not.

SPEAKER_00: 32:58

And that is because a judge is wrestling with AI-assisted apology letters from defendants.

SPEAKER_02: 33:13

We have emails. We have emails coming out of our ears, so let's get to it. Leo writes us. Hi, Leo. He's finally recovering from the 14 inches of snow they received about a week and a half ago.

SPEAKER_00: 33:25

I'm sorry that happened to you.

SPEAKER_02: 33:26

So they went from minus 15 degree temperatures to now in the 60s, and he's in Ohio. But Leo says this random hairs. Because we talked about how I am growing random hairs in places. I feel this is one of God's biggest jokes. I'm not a particularly hairy guy. My wife often jokes about the fact that I can't grow facial hair, but my nephews would look like mountain men without shaving. But I tend to have oddly placed random hairs. One in particular grows off the little flappy thing that partially covers your ear hole. Leo, that's called a pinna or the ear flap. There you go. No one can see it, but I know when it's time to cut it off because I can feel it there when there's a gust of wind.

SPEAKER_00: 34:06

The wind blowing through your hair is not how you thought that would happen for you.

SPEAKER_02: 34:10

No, it isn't. Um, he says, speeding through neighborhoods. You talked about this with Kate. Yes. He says, I'm also one of those people who will talk about you for speeding through ours. Our neighborhood is one that dead ends in multi-cul de sacks. So there's no through traffic and there's lots of kids around. Yes. As each of our kids started learning to drive, this was one thing I hammered home to them. No speeding through neighborhoods. I also hate when people speed through parking lots. Listen, Linda, you're already at Walmart and it isn't going anywhere. Slow down and park.

SPEAKER_00: 34:43

Somebody got so mad at me the other day because I was in the Aldi parking lot and they were treating it as a sh as a as a thoroughfare. Yeah. Because there weren't cars and like they were cutting across. But they almost hit me and then they yelled at me because I was driving like a normal person down the right way. People get crazily. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_02: 35:02

Yeah, well, people don't know how to drive in this town anyway. So and finally he says kids and screen time, which we are still wrestling with. He says that this one indeed is tricky. Thankfully, our kids, especially our boys, loved being outside when they were littles. So it wasn't a huge struggle for us as they get older and started into the world of screens. I was sure to set up all accounts for them and use an app called Custodio, but with a queue, to monitor and restrict times and access worked out wonderfully well for us.

SPEAKER_00: 35:32

Yeah, we're not quite there with Winthrop yet. It's still just like watching people play games on YouTube or doing like uh building games on his on his tablet.

SPEAKER_02: 35:42

Yeah, but even still, like we were down there just now, and you were sitting with him watching a thing with him, because that's the rule. And on the thing, one of the people said, and here's my message to you, I guess speaking to a character or whatever. Yeah, nobody likes you.

SPEAKER_00: 35:58

Yeah. I don't want to hear him, but I heard you correct it.

SPEAKER_02: 36:01

Yeah, I don't ever want to hear that come out of his mouth to one of his friends because he heard it on a YouTube. Yeah, no, that was fair.

SPEAKER_00: 36:07

And this is one of the things that, right, this is not from kids YouTube, but this is how he learns to program the game that he's building. But I, to be fair, was had an earbud in and was listening to an audiobook with one ear. But you were there and you caught it and you said something to him about it.

SPEAKER_02: 36:22

So lastly, congratulations, Amanda, on your doctorate program acceptance. I always knew that you were the smart one.

SPEAKER_00: 36:28

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02: 36:28

Screw you, Leo. Uh, he says, Yes, I noticed the missing uh week's episode and planned to speak to a manager about it.

SPEAKER_00: 36:36

Yeah, because people can't get well in this house. And in fact, Winthrop missed two days of school, which is why we're battling screen time again, because he was just running this fever that kept going 100.1, 100.3, 100.6, 99.2. It just kept going back and forth. And like, and now he just wants us to check his temperature all the time. So, like you said, you think he's just trying to to ride this temperature until he graduates from high school.

SPEAKER_02: 37:00

Yep, absolutely. We have an email from Germany from our friend Monique.

SPEAKER_00: 37:05

Hi, Monique.

SPEAKER_02: 37:07

She hits several points that I'll go through here. She says, I finally caught up on episodes, but as I listened to several while traveling, sadly, my old brain cannot remember everything I wanted to comment on. So here goes the few things that stuck long enough to make it home with me.

SPEAKER_00: 37:22

I get it, Monique. I get it.

SPEAKER_02: 37:23

Jeff asks about our major league baseball subscription. Of course, it's a normal subscription. Internet and a credit card will give you access anywhere in the world. So they're watching American baseball in Germany. So interesting. So they watch all the games of the entire season, plus previous seasons, as long as your subscription goes back, including the World Series, an all-star game. But for some reason, the home run derby is not included.

SPEAKER_00: 37:46

No, and that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02: 37:48

Yeah, that is like that's one of the exciting things. You just see those guys jacking those monster dongs right out the park, and I love it.

SPEAKER_00: 37:56

What that was really sexual, what you just said, but okay.

SPEAKER_02: 38:00

No, the home run derby, jacking monster dongs. You're donging it right out of the park. What's wrong with you?

SPEAKER_00: 38:05

Go ahead, please. I apologize, Money.

SPEAKER_02: 38:08

Because of the time difference with Europe, it's very nice that we can watch games on demand with the additional bonus that we can skip the rain delays. I'm telling you, the only ways I will watch baseball is if I'm in the park to enjoy the experience being or if I can fast forward.

SPEAKER_00: 38:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 38:23

She also says, so sad to hear that Jeff had to let go of one of his pups. So again, our friend Refined Gay Jeff lost a buddy. Um, and our heart goes out to him as he continues to deal with that. And finally, she says, please do keep the Americanisms coming. Well, I can't I can't help it. I'm an American and I say American things. So, Monique, add that to your vocab, Monster Dongs. It's what it's a home run.

SPEAKER_00: 38:47

It's called It's not a thing that people say, Monique. My husband has made this up.

SPEAKER_02: 38:50

No, I've not made it up. I've heard it on sports radio. Monster Dongs is a home run.

SPEAKER_00: 38:55

That's probably something to do with hegemonic masculinity and the patriarchy, but okay.

SPEAKER_02: 39:00

She continues, it just so happens I studied English at university and have a teacher's degree too. Hi, Amanda. Nice. And after that, worked um 25 years alongside an American colleague who relished in trying out the most obscure words and phrases on me. As internet was not yet a thing for the first years, and yes, we are talking last century here. I regularly had to think real hard on what the heck something could mean. Of course, I reiterated by using similar Dutchisms as often as I could. This made for lots of hilarious situations for both of us and other colleagues declaring we were nutcases, making it even more appealing to us. I still look up most things that I hear or read about that I don't know, the latest being someone eating peeps. Peeps peeps sound and look disgusting to me, but I may be wrong about that. It was really funny that the New York Times Connections puzzle included that word the same day that I looked it up. Oh yeah. Keep the podcasts coming. I don't like peeps.

SPEAKER_00: 39:57

I don't like peeps either, Monique, but our kids do, particularly Muffy. Muffy really likes them. So it's funny because I'm listening to a book right now about a woman who moved from Austin, Texas to a place in Ireland, and part of the book they're talking about. She she keeps getting caught up because she doesn't know what things mean. Like the guy compliments somebody's coat and said it's really like it's really broad, I guess. And she thought he was calling her fat, but that's not what it meant. But one of the things in the book was hookers. He wanted to take her to go look at the hookers or watch the hookers come in, but it's sailboats. And so then he was asking her for Americanisms, and I was like having a really hard time thinking of them because we live in them. Yeah, yeah. So thanks, Monique, for bringing that up.

SPEAKER_02: 40:41

I mean, hookers then is an Americanism, apparently.

SPEAKER_00: 40:43

I guess he asked her what uh Americanism would be for um sex, and because she was from Texas, she said knocking boots, which I just think is all I think about. Isn't there a song like from the 80s about knocking boots? But it was like a like a rap song or a hip-hop song.

SPEAKER_02: 40:59

Don't know, don't know. Don't list the country, don't listen to much rap. So there you go.

SPEAKER_00: 41:04

That was like hip hop, but knocking boots. Who would okay? Uh, Gen X people, please let me know what am I missing? What am I thinking of? It was like Wild Thing with Tone Logue, but it was knocking boots.

SPEAKER_02: 41:13

Nope, don't know that one. Let us know at familiarwhelm at gmail.com because we're not gonna Google it.

SPEAKER_00: 41:18

I will be Googling it.

SPEAKER_02: 41:20

Lastly, we have some notes from Kate. Now, Kate was jotting down notes as she was listening, and she sent me a picture of her diary book and literally just words.

SPEAKER_00: 41:31

So like stream of consciousness.

SPEAKER_02: 41:33

Yes, so this is what she says. Um, she says, please see attached image of what I'm working with here. Make sense of this as you so desire. And she sent me the thing. Um, she said, I was not allowed to have sugar growing up. My first semester of college, my diet of soda and pop tarts led to six cavities.

SPEAKER_00: 41:51

That's what I'm telling you. If we don't teach people how to do things in moderation, they just go completely the other way.

SPEAKER_02: 41:57

She wrote the word Snowed In with Grumpy. Right. And then she explains it in the email. The worst book ever, if you'd like to enjoy a truly terrible book, is Snowed In with Grumpy. Did you talk about romance novels on the pod? I don't know why I wrote this too.

SPEAKER_00: 42:12

Yeah, I was talking about how my hobby is going to be building birdhouses, but I'm annoyed as a writer that there are people who are writing really trashy stuff and it's getting published. So Snowed In with Grumpy. Got it. It's probably smut, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_02: 42:25

So she says, hobby, or in Amanda's case, blanket abandonment, is a familiar concept to me. It's known also as attention deficit disorder.

SPEAKER_00: 42:34

I think you might have that. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02: 42:36

Um, then she writes the words chicken equals death.

SPEAKER_00: 42:40

Oh, yes, it's the chicken cross the road.

SPEAKER_02: 42:42

Oh, that's right. Also on my algorithm, so she heard about that too. My feelings are mixed, trending towards distress at this revelation. So we talked about how the joke, why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side is really about death, which you know, my feelings are evolving about this revolution. She wrote this authorial intent does not necessarily align with reader effect. This is one I have no idea what it relates to. Do you know what that might have to do with?

SPEAKER_00: 43:10

I think you were talking about does the creator's intent impact how you perceive the meaning? And I was saying that I think that while it can drive your understanding of a piece of work that it is not the end all be all. And that we all take it in through our own lenses.

SPEAKER_02: 43:29

She then just wrote the words Amy Miller.

SPEAKER_00: 43:32

Okay, who's Amy Miller?

SPEAKER_02: 43:33

She says, Pretty sure I was on to a different podcast when I wrote this one down.

SPEAKER_00: 43:38

Don't know Amy Miller. That's excellent. Thank you, Kate.

SPEAKER_02: 43:43

She says, Don't know if you're recording this week, but I love you both and think you are great. Your absence uh the week Amanda was sick was definitely noticed, but I must accept the world, including your podcast, does not revolve around me and my needs. Sad.

SPEAKER_00: 43:55

Okay, well, we're back for you, Kate.

SPEAKER_02: 43:57

If you would like to email us, we Certainly uh love to receive them. Familiarwilsons at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_01: 44:05

No one likes to be told what to do.

SPEAKER_02: 44:08

And now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do. Amanda, what should we do?

SPEAKER_00: 44:13

I I would encourage you the next time you need a special occasion outfit to go consignment or thrift shopping. One, it's good for the environment. Two, it's good for your pocketbook. Do people still say pocketbook? It's good for your wallet, it's good for your bank account, whatever, your Bitcoin, who knows? Cocoa beans, whatever we learn from flashbacks. I have to travel again this week and I have to go to a fancy dinner and it's gonna be cold. So I none of the Florida dresses that I have were gonna work. I needed to go shopping. So I went to a consignment store yesterday and got a dress that I really like, gonna work with tights, whatever. But my point of this is because every dress that I had in my hand was somewhere between$10 and$15, I tried on 10 dresses that I would not normally go to if I was paying like a like a regular amount for a dress in a store. And so I just found it freeing to be like, let me try on this thing. I wouldn't normally do because it's a$10 thing and wound up getting a dress I wouldn't normally buy, but really liked. It was cute. Muffy was there. She validated it for me. Kate validated it for me last night when I showed it to her at dinner. Um, but I just I found some sort of freedom in being a little bit more open to other things because I wasn't tied to a high ticket price value.

SPEAKER_02: 45:27

And it's really fun. It's like it's like scavenger hunting, and then you find something and it's a challenge. And yeah, it kind of means more.

SPEAKER_00: 45:35

Yeah, you had to work for it.

SPEAKER_02: 45:37

Yeah, you had to work for it. You had to find it. Um, so yeah, I love that. My recommendation is a little bit more serious. I sent a text this week to a friend of mine, a very good friend of mine, who I I can't go see, and he's probably not gonna be with us for very much longer. But I wanted him to know what he meant to me and how I feel about him. So I wrote this really long text and and sent it, and I don't know if he's read it yet, to be honest. He's not in great shape, but it's important for me that that he was, and hopefully he sees it or his loved ones read it to him. It's important for me for him to know what he meant to me. Too many times we regret not saying the thing. And I've been in that situation too with other people where I have not said the thing. Well, this time I had to say the thing, and so don't ever, ever, ever find yourself in a situation where you regret not telling someone what they mean to you, and you find that you don't have a chance to anymore. That's that sucks. That's the pits. So write the thing, send the thing, say the thing. And that's my recommendation to you. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What'd you think of that mess?

SPEAKER_00: 47:03

Oh, well, I mean, it was great, it was funny, and now it's poignant. So I all the things. We're hitting all the all the I laughed, I cried, it was better than cats.

SPEAKER_02: 47:15

We would like to thank the following people for contributing in big ways and in small ways to this podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 47:23

Or just to our hearts.

SPEAKER_02: 47:25

Or just to our hearts.

SPEAKER_00: 47:26

Shows up in the podcast.

SPEAKER_02: 47:27

Thank you, Antonio, Josh Scarr, Daniel J. Buckets, Chicken Tom, Matt, Monique, who sent us a lovely email this week. Joey.

SPEAKER_00: 47:37

Joey.

SPEAKER_02: 47:38

Leo, who also sent us a lovely email this week. Refine Gay Jeff, Ryan Baker, Mark and Rachel, and Dan and Gavin. Thank you all.

SPEAKER_00: 47:49

Thank you, friends.

SPEAKER_02: 47:50

If you would like to email us about any old thing, then send us an email at familiarwilsons at gmail.com. And until next week, y'all go out there and don't punch a puppy.

SPEAKER_00: 48:04

Oh my god, that's a horrible thing that you said. But also just just be kind. Let it let it guide you, which also involves not punching puppies.

SPEAKER_02: 48:12

I know, I'm just setting the bar really low because I want people to succeed, okay?

SPEAKER_00: 48:16

All right. Go be kind, friends. All right, bye. Bye, mm-hmm.