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25 Essential Words for World Peace

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We're had a rough week so in lieu of a new episode, here is an episode of  theUnscrew It Up Podcast, where Josh and Amanda try to solve a big problem with a tiny tool: a shared set of words that could help people communicate across borders. We pitch two competing “universal language” systems, test them out loud, and realize how fast meaning breaks when context disappears.

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Why A New Episode Is Late

Josh

Hello, friends. Josh here. I had a surprising number of people contact me this week and say, why didn't you all drop a new episode on Monday? Well, over the weekend I had a dear friend pass away, and when it came time to record, I just didn't have any gas in the tank. So we didn't. But because folks have reached out, and I certainly do appreciate hearing from you all, here is an episode of a podcast that we used to do called Unscrew It Up, where we would come up with nonsense solutions to the world's problems. And I think this one actually is very timely because it's talking about words that will bring about a world peace. And so please do enjoy this, and we will be back with a new episode this coming Monday. The following podcast sometimes offers unusual solutions to usual problems. These solutions are meant for qualified agencies or individuals to put into action. And I'd be willing to bet that's not you. Listen, folks, we don't take ourselves too seriously. Neither should you. So, let's go have a laugh. Welcome to Uncrew It Up. This is the show where we offer differently twisted solutions to life's little problems. I'm Josh.

Amanda

I'm Amanda.

Why Language Fails Across Cultures

Josh

Amanda, we're going to do something a little bit different today. How do you feel about that? I'm excited about it. Okay, well, good. Well, let's jump right on in. So usually we have a little bit from Wilson Technologies, and then we set about to unscrew up the problems of the world. Well, the problems that the world are experiencing today means that we need to just get right to a solution. None of this coming up with five things or ten things and then narrowing it down and then sending it to, you know, the Gerber baby to fix. No, no, no, no, no, no. Our world is on fire. We need to find some way to bring common ground to people. We need to find a way for people to be able to talk right down to earth in a language that everyone can understand. That's a quote, by the way. Did you do you know that quote from Malcolm X? Oh, okay. Anyway. So we're doing something a little bit different. What is your perspective? You're a writer. What is your perspective on communication and effective communication?

Esperanto And The Universal Language Problem

Amanda

Well, language is hard. I mean, it just learning a language is hard. English is particularly hard. I spend a lot of the time saying to the six-year-old, I don't know why that is. It just is. There's lots of questions about why does this mean that and what does that mean? And just even your native language can be very confusing. And then you add in trying to communicate with someone who does not speak the same language as you. I had a really interesting conversation with some educators on Friday. I was down in South Florida doing some professional learning. And it was a dual language school. So they instruct the children get instruction half of the day in English and the other half of the day in Spanish. They switch teachers. But then they were saying they have a lot of students who are from places like Guatemala that have a completely different language than Spanish. There's a different dialect to it, different, um, so they're then trying to operate in three different languages and how just really difficult that is. So I think to your point, if we had some common terms that the whole world understood, it might make for a little bit more, I guess I don't to be redundant, understanding.

Josh

Yeah. So they tried to do this before. They tried to create a universal language. Actually, I'm sure that they've tried several times, but the one that a lot of people know about was Esperanto. Are you familiar with Esperanto?

Amanda

It sounds familiar to me, but not a lot.

Josh

It's a it's a language that they constructed with very simple rules. It had, you know, who was they? Uh people. People, people, just people. Doesn't matter. People did this. It didn't catch on, so it really doesn't matter.

Amanda

It went the way of Crystal Pepsi. When did they do this?

Josh

It was before, in the before times. Listen, none of this matters. If you want to know about this, you can research it. All I know is that they attempted to take rule, simplify rules, take words from different languages and sounds from different languages, and construct this language, and that that everyone should learn, right? And obviously that went nowhere. I think that constructing an entire language, that's a little bit too ambitious. Yeah. We're gonna come up with this whole language. I mean, if you're gonna do that, then just pick a world language and say this is now the language.

SPEAKER_01

I'm pretty sure that Americans have tried to do that.

Josh

And no comment. So I I what I thought we would do is we would come up with a list of words that should be common to everyone to facilitate communication.

Amanda

Now, are we saying these are sound as well as is grapheme, so as well as the symbol? So we're gonna so is this a written language, is it a spoken language? Should we have symbols so therefore people who can't read could understand? I'm trying to be universal in this language.

Josh

You're trying to stress me out. All I'm saying is that we should have these words that we've picked, these concepts, be common to everyone so that we have a basis for communication. Yes, I suppose it needs to be written too. Actually, when I was doing my words when I was picking them, I was thinking, well, we don't need to have a word for this because you could just point to it. And then I was like, well, no, I shouldn't make allowance for that because what if we decide this does need to be a written language? So I guess it needs to be both.

Amanda

Right. Well, I'm thinking the people who cannot see won't see you pointing, but they could hear the language. People who cannot hear could read the language.

The 25 Word Challenge Explained

Josh

Just so, yeah. Well, so we'll we'll go that way since this is clearly all gonna happen. Now, I was reading on the internet about the 100 most used words in English, and I figured, well, that would be an interesting basis for this. But 100 words, again, too much, too many words. So I think that we should pick 25 words. We should have a system whereby these 25 words are universal so that we can at least have rudimentary um communication, effective communication. So you've picked your 25 words, and I guess you've made your system. I've picked 25 words and made my system, and we're gonna ask our audience to vote and see which system they would like to have in place.

Amanda

Whoa, you came up with the word? Because I didn't. I just listed 25 words we need. I didn't come up with the actual language was going to be.

Josh

No, no, no, no. I can't no, I did not.

Amanda

I God, I thought you created a whole other language.

Josh

Yes, and then there's blort. No, right. No, no, no, no. We're gonna use the English words and just assume that they're gonna be universal. If if we, you know, if people uh adopt our plan and they decide, but we want to use all the French words, fine. I don't care, doesn't matter. It's these concepts. Okay, got it. Right? So if you like Amanda's uh system or if you like my system, let us know by emailing unscrew itup at gmail.com and then whatever whichever system wins, then that's gonna be our new universal language, or at least the basis for fundamental communication. Are you ready, Amanda? I'm ready.

Amanda

I have my 25 words.

Josh

All right, so what I want you to do is give me your list and your reasons why, and then I'll I'll ask questions as we go, and then I'll give you my list, and you do the same you ask questions as we go.

Amanda

All right, so I've approached this from a what would it be like if I was in a another country? And I've had this experience where my brother was in the Navy and he was stationed in Japan, and I went to Japan by myself, trying to navigate, you know, uh airports and train stations, and they would have this thing where every once in a while it would just be one English word, but it was like no, and then it would be followed by the Japanese symbols. I'm like, no, what? What am I not supposed to do? It was very confusing for me. So I I thought, okay, what are the things that I'm gonna need to know if I need to communicate, right? Okay, my first one is sex.

Josh

Uh why is that? Well, that's because is this order of priority, or is this because of how our night went last week?

Amanda

Because of the first five, I wrote, well, we were having drinks before the the show that we went to see. We went to a lovely concert last night. We were sitting there having dinner, having drinks, and I was making my list. So you pointed out we don't really need a a a word for that. But but my thing is that I think there are things that are fundamental to the human race, and sex is one of them. So I was thinking, what are the things that are fundamental? So you probably want to know how to communicate sex.

Josh

Okay.

Amanda

So my second one is eat. You need to communicate to someone, and that can communicate hunger, it can communicate like you need a restaurant or whatever, but so sex, eat. And then my next one is restroom. Very good. I that's also something that you need to know when you're in another, you know, in another place, right? Okay. Then my next three go together: wine, coffee, water.

Josh

What no? I feel like you're wasting words.

Amanda

No, that's fine. This is my system. I'm allowed to have the system. So I need to know the word for wine, I need to know the word for coffee. These are fundamental. I need to know the word for water, right? My my next one is babysitter. Because if I'm gonna have these other things, I need someone to come take care of the children.

Josh

To be clear, this system that we're coming up with is supposed to prevent all conflict on the planet and supposed to facilitate all communication on the planet. And on this list, you have sex, wine, coffee, and bathroom.

Amanda

And babysitter. People would be much happier if they could get a babysitter, get out of the house, have some wine, have some sex, have after sex coffee, they'd be fine. Okay.

Josh

All right, who's having coffee after sex?

Amanda

Not me. These people. Um, my my one after babysitter, I think these two things go together is sleep.

Josh

Yes.

Amanda

Not sleeping with the babysitter, that sounded wrong, but you need so you need sleep. Sometimes you need a babysitter to be able to get sleep. So, sleep, right? You know, you need to communicate to someone, I need to sleep, I need to eat, I need to sleep. Well, then that leads me to hotel. You need you need a universal word for where can I go stay? I don't know why you're holding your nose. I'm not holding my nose, I'm holding your nose. The bridge of your nose. No, you're holding the bridge of your nose. Because all right, go ahead. This is me. I'm not taking it like I need to go fix all of the potential wars of the world. This is I need to go exist out in the world. What are the things I need to know? You didn't tell me I had to fix like all the conflicts. Okay.

Josh

All right, go ahead.

Amanda

I need to know train, I need to know bus, I need to know airport, I need to know taxi. Those things are important to me for getting around.

Josh

Okay, so why not just one word for transportation? And then you've saved some slots.

Amanda

Because I might need specifically, I need I need a car right now. Or it doesn't matter. Okay, then I decided that if I needed those things, then I needed south, east, west, and north because I needed to figure out the direction in which I needed to go. Okay. I don't you can roll your eyes all you want. It's an excellent system. And then I decided that I had three more, right? I needed far, because you need to say, I need a train west far. I need to go far to the west, or I need to be, you know, near north to the restroom.

Josh

Um I need a train to the near north restroom, please. With my babysitter and wine.

Josh’s Rule Based Word System

Amanda

And then my last one is shop. Because you because you can need to go to the grocery store. So you could say shop eat. You could say shop coffee. You could, you know, like you shop babysitter, sure shop babysitters. It's fine. So shop is a verb, it's a noun. This is my this is a world in which I want to live. That's fine. Go ahead, tell yours now.

Josh

So you're comfortable though that this list would help you exist in it would help you survive in another country at the very least.

Amanda

I yeah. I have survived in another country with no language. If I get these 25 words, I get good food, I get good coffee, I can have some wine, I can find a hotel in which to sleep. It can be north, west, south, or east, and it can be near or far, and I'm fine.

Josh

You can have sex, I can have sex a little bit later, a babysitter. That's excellent. Okay, well, that's your list.

Amanda

Yes, it is, and don't you judge it.

Josh

Right. So here's my list.

Amanda

And what I think is gonna be boring.

Josh

What no? I think my list makes perfect sense and has words on it that I can't believe that you didn't have, and some words are in common. But this list is meant to have uh the facility so a person can exist comfortably in any society and solve complex problems. Yours solves where do I eat, where do I poop, and where do I sleep? And that's pretty much it. Okay, so 25 words that should be universal. Love. You did not have love on your list.

Amanda

I had sex.

Josh

Wait, are we talking about the list or last night?

Amanda

Okay, I okay, you're right.

Josh

Love's an important word.

Amanda

That was a missed opportunity. I can take away one of my words.

Josh

Next, it's important to have a word to communicate when there's something wrong, you know, an immediate word. So danger is my next word. Oh, that's a good one. Pretty important word. So um, me, like a self-designation is pretty important. Okay, and again, we're not relying on be able being able just to tap your chest. Me is an important word. Okay. Go.

Amanda

Yeah.

Josh

Something that indicates movement to a place. That's pretty important as well. Okay.

Amanda

Taxi, bus, airplane, near, far, north, southeast, west. I got it.

Josh

We're getting there. Uh, water. I have water. Water is an essential. It is. Right? So that that needs to be on the list. Sleep. I got it. Yep. Eat. Got it. All of these are okay. No.

Amanda

Yeah. All right. You're right. We need to be able to acknowledge consent or non-consent.

Josh

Now, I am not gonna waste a slot on yes. And this is where my system starts to come into place. No is gonna modify words after it, right? No, eat, no sleep. Right. No, eat, no sleep. If I need the word yes, then you just say the thing. Then I say no no.

Amanda

Oh, God, that no, mm-mm. So confusing. We're not doing no no for yes.

Josh

No, no.

Amanda

See?

Josh

You couldn't even do it. Yes, we are. That this is my system. All right. We need to have economy of words, and and words are gonna have to be like Swiss Army knives. And so in this case, no can be no, and no no is yes.

Amanda

Fine. Sex, sex is love. Go ahead.

Josh

Yeah. Well, that's the other thing. If we are gonna express degree, then you use the word twice as well. So love, love is I think.

Amanda

But that falls down because no no is not expressing degree of no.

Josh

Yeah, but everyone's gonna know this. This is part of the rules, okay? All right. Have, you know, to have something is possession. The word house is important. Okay. Now, house can also fill in for any domicile or any building, right? So is hotel. Right, right, right. The hotel is like your your temporary house or whatever. So help, again, a very important word. Help. I need help.

Amanda

You could probably multi-purpose danger and help into a different world.

Testing The Language With Phrases

Josh

Maybe they would maybe, but I've included it here because I had the space. Okay. Up. Why do you need up? I need something to be able to designate direction, right? Yeah, north, south, east, west. Right, but I'm gonna do it with the word up, and then no up is down.

Amanda

Okay, but no no up would be yes up.

Josh

No. No no up is right. Oh god. And then no no no up is left.

Amanda

Okay, see what you've done is you've employed what the Swedes do.

Josh

Yes, I I said, and then we look at how the Swedes do it.

Amanda

No, when they do this, they do the thing for grandparents, right? So the our one of our children's paternal grandparents are Swedish, and they use far and more, so father, mother, and it's you've got a far more would be your father's mother, more and more is your mother's mother, but then you could have your you could have more far, far, far more, far more, more far. Like it just keeps going back to your great great-grandparents. So this is what you've done.

Josh

Yes, this example would be a lot more effective in my mind if I wasn't trying to divorce far and more from their English meanings. But yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. So now we have words for all of the directions. Okay. Okay. So if I said, you know, go go no up.

Amanda

I have no idea. I would spend all of my time trying to interpret. See, no. What you've done is we were trying to get away from having to interpret other languages, and now we're all just a giant mass of humanity trying to figure out what the mess people are meaning when they say, Go, go, no, up, yes, no, no, no, no, up, go.

Josh

But everyone will will have this knowledge. This is all gonna be common.

Amanda

You can have knowledge without mastering knowledge, friends.

Josh

Well, that's true, but we've got to start somewhere. So go go no up is is obviously listen, you need to very quickly get down.

Amanda

You've lost your mind. I just chose 25 words that I thought were essential themes. I'm not trying to trick the world into not being able to do it. This is how you've solved conflicts because nobody can move. They're all just stuck there trying to figure out where, no, no, go up, yes, no, go left. No, left's not even one of your words. I don't know.

Josh

All right, so the next one is yell.

Amanda

Now just yell.

Josh

Yell is gonna mean any vocalization.

Amanda

Because why can't you just vocalize?

Josh

Well, no, yell is the is the way you would express vocalization. So in other words, no yell is just to talk normally.

Amanda

Then just talk normally.

Josh

No, this is my word. No, listen, you're you're I don't know what's happening right now. I'm explaining the use of this word yell to as a placeholder for any vocalization. So I know no yell is just talk. Like I've I've got to say something to you. I've got to no yell something to you.

SPEAKER_01

Help! Can I use that word? Help danger.

Josh

No yell, though. Um, the next word's a pretty important word, and you had it too. Bathroom.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, everyone needs it.

Listener Puzzle And How To Vote

Josh

The next word is salt. Now, salt is through salt. Yeah, it's a very important thing for us, and through history, it has um it has uh meant many things. It it's been uh a balm, it's been medicinal, it's also been used in place of salary, you know that we get the word salary from salt because I used to pay people in salt.

SPEAKER_01

I thought you said celery. I was confused for it.

Josh

Celery too. It can be used for celery. So salt means healthy, medicine, important, or money.

Amanda

But so, but okay, but you have to know the nuance for that thing, right? And you can't if you don't know the language, or you're gonna be like salt, salt, salt, salt is money. Salt, salt, salt is, you know, like spice.

Josh

Well, it's also about the context as well, and that's why we're using other words to modify words.

Amanda

You don't have context if you only have 25 words in your language.

Josh

Well, no, these listen, you need to stop because this is a great system and you're screwing it up. I've screwed this up. This language has rules. Okay, moving on. Okay. The next word is person.

Amanda

Okay.

Josh

Person, though, doesn't just mean person, it means any natural thing. Like trees or you know dog or and again, it we would use a modifier to, you know, determine what kind of natural thing it is. Now that works hand in hand with the next word, which is machine, which is any device or mechanism.

Amanda

Okay.

Josh

Like your car is a machine, your razor is a machine, anything that's technology is a machine, right? So for example, a computer is a machine, but that would be, you know, one of the other words I have is mind. It'd be a mind machine.

Amanda

Okay.

Josh

Right?

Amanda

Okay.

Josh

So that's that's another word that I have. Mind.

Amanda

Are you saying any are you saying any tool? Meaning uh scissors are a machine or knife and fork are a machine?

Josh

Yeah, any sort of technological advance that that doesn't grow out of the ground, that's a machine. Okay. All right, next. This is going brilliantly. Sky.

Amanda

Does that mean it it probably means more than just sky, doesn't it?

Josh

Well, it does. It it's referring, use that word in this set of words with their modifiers to refer to any orientation in space. So sky sky is outer space, sky is regular space, no sky is the land, no sky water is a body of water. Sky water is clouds and rain. Okay. See, this works perfectly.

Amanda

This one I'm actually okay with. I can't I can't imagine why, but I'm okay with this one.

Josh

All right, the next thing, Jupiter.

Amanda

And that means any planet.

Josh

Any planet or round thing.

Amanda

Oh god. All right, good. This is not at all confusing.

Josh

Well, we have to have a word for shapes.

Amanda

Okay. So sky, sky, Jupiter.

SPEAKER_01

Is Jupiter in outer space?

Josh

Well, actually, we just have to say Jupiter.

Amanda

Right, but I'm just trying to I'm just trying to employ your system.

Josh

Yep, yep. So that's and Jupiter is pretty much the biggest round thing that I can think of short of the sun. So that expresses that as well as any sort of planet. All right, next, rice.

Amanda

Is it gonna meet any kind of food? It's gonna

Josh

Me any kind of food, and that comes from the fact that that rice, I think, is the most common staple food on the planet. It is so easily recognizable. So rice now is any sort of food that you eat, any sustenance. Rice. Next, burn.

Amanda

Okay.

Josh

This covers all temperatures. So burn is hot. No burn, of course, is cold. No burn, burn is really cold. Okay. Um, but it also means pain or distress.

Amanda

Okay.

Josh

So one of my words, like for example, was um mind. Mind burn. What?

Amanda

It's a headache. Bam. I get mind burns.

Josh

Perfect. You probably have one now. Now I mentioned mind. That means not only your brain, but also means learning and also white-collar professions.

Amanda

Okay. That's all right.

Josh

Or and thinking, all of these things. Then there's body, which refers to physical being or actions with your body, something you do with your body, or you know, blue-collar professions.

Amanda

Got it.

Josh

So this is all starting to make sense now, right? Two more words. Ugly.

Amanda

So that's also gonna mean beautiful.

Josh

Well, no ugly means beautiful. Right. Ugly is a judgment of quality. No ugly is pretty, but also ugly can refer to disgusting. Like food can be ugly, meaning that food is disgusting.

Amanda

You know what? Mind burn can be ugly. Ugly mind burn. Yes. I got an ugly mind burn.

Josh

That's a migraine, isn't it? Yep, yep. All right, and then the last word is is a staple, and you could probably guess what that word is. Cheese.

SPEAKER_01

And it just means cheese because it's that important.

Josh

All right, so I've written four or five phrases here in my language, and I want you to try to figure out what they mean.

SPEAKER_01

Up ready?

Josh

Up body mind Jupiter burns burns.

Amanda

Up means up. Body means your physical being or blue collar work. Okay, is the but no, an astronaut wouldn't be blue-collar.

Josh

Up body mind Jupiter burns burns. This is really easy. Don't overthink.

Amanda

The rocket to Jupiter took off and was really hot.

Josh

My head really hurts.

Amanda

Oh, I forgot Jupiter was your head.

Josh

It's any round thing. So you got up, up body, it's up on my body. Mine Jupiter, the round brain case. Burns, burns.

Amanda

Well, I didn't see the thing is I'm not able to see those like like punctuation. So I don't see like up body has a hyphen.

Josh

No, there is no punctuation in my language here.

Amanda

That's where you fall down. Okay, go ahead.

Josh

Go have me, no ugly rice Jupiter. Go have me, no ugly rice Jupiter.

Amanda

Please make me some beautiful rice balls.

Josh

Very close. Please go get me some clean fruit.

Amanda

Okay.

Josh

Next. No yell. Mind people. Run run. Mind house.

Amanda

Quick, quick. Go away. I've lost my mind. This language is dumb. You're not even trying. I don't know. Okay. So give me the first phrase. No yell. So don't yell, talk normally. Mind people. Um your mind people could be like computer people. Machine people.

Josh

All right. How about run run mind house?

Amanda

Go to your computer house. Go fast to your computer house.

Josh

Tell the students to get to class quickly.

Amanda

Yeah, no. This does not work, friend.

Josh

It doesn't work. Last one. Salt person, body, clean, ugly, know me, go, go. This is so easy.

Amanda

I'm not, you know what? I'm not gonna solve it. I think we leave it out there for the listeners to call in, write in, hit us up on the socials, slide into those DMs, email us, and tell me what this means because I don't know.

Josh

I have one for the people. You gotta get the slice.

Amanda

No, God. Okay, say it again.

Josh

Salt person.

Amanda

Spicy person.

Josh

No, remember what salt means.

Amanda

Salary, spice, health. Okay, a healthy person.

Josh

Or health. Salt person.

Amanda

Healthy. Doctor.

Josh

Salt person, body clean slash ugly. No me go go. This obviously the doctor will see you now.

Amanda

No, it's not, but okay. All right. All right. All right, so that this is cut my head. I have such a mind burn.

Josh

Burn burn. Burn burn. Ugly.

SPEAKER_01

Ugly burn burn. Ugly burn mind burn burn.

Josh

All right, so here we go. Now this one is in the form of a question, right? And this is the one that we want our our very intelligent listeners who are gonna vote for my system. We want them to get.

Amanda

No, they're like, give me some coffee, wine, sex, and a hotel and an airport. Done.

Josh

So seedy. All right. Nobody, no yell, me mind, salt, love, no burn.

Amanda

Me was not one of your words.

Josh

Yes, it was. It was one of the first words. Nobody, no yell, me mind, salt, love, no burn. Write it down, folks.

Amanda

Good luck.

Josh

Unscrew it up at gmail.com. Now, Amanda, I do believe that we have language.

SPEAKER_01

Unscrewed. I'm not sure we have. One of us has. Unscrewed.

Josh

Alright, Amanda, I think that we've done unscrewed up all that we can unscrew up. We better stop before we screw it up.

Amanda

Yeah, I have no words left. You took them off, all 25 of them. 25 words? This is the key to world peace.

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