Miami is a Financial Mistake

Marriage is a beautiful partnership between two people who love each other very much and would occasionally like the other person to stop making decisions.

This week on Super Familiar with the Wilsons, we’re wandering through the strange middle years, where brains change the rules without updating the manual, hormones begin operating as an independent government, and a perfectly ordinary conversation can suddenly require NATO intervention.

We’ve also been traveling, which means spending alarming amounts of money to experience things we could never have predicted would make us sad, angry, confused, or philosophical. There are questions of ethics. Questions of privacy. Questions of whether civilization was a mistake. And, inevitably, an incident involving a crosswalk.

Back home, we confront one of adulthood’s most relentless enemies: having to decide what to eat again. Apparently yesterday’s dinner did not permanently solve food. So we consider radical solutions to decision fatigue, unnecessary choices, daily routines, and the possibility that the secret to inner peace may simply be owning several identical shirts.

Plus, we travel the globe without leaving our chairs, investigate some deeply peculiar back-to-school traditions, hear from Refined Gay Jeff, and continue our lifelong project of trying to become functional adults several decades after the deadline.

It’s an episode about marriage, ADHD, perimenopause, parenting, decision fatigue, travel, routines, animals, food, tiny frustrations, and the increasingly suspicious amount of administrative work required simply to remain alive.

Super Familiar with the Wilsons: Marriage 2.0 with kids and side quests.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
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Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

Cold Open And Warnings

SPEAKER_05 0:00

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

Josh 0:03

The following podcast uses words like and and also if you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Three, two, one.

Josh 0:13

Run.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Welcome back to the conversation. Get on down to my donation. You want me and I am you. A million. I don't want to be a don't be stranger.

Marriage 2.0 With Kids Intro

Amanda 0:52

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

Josh 0:55

And I'm Josh, and we're the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

Amanda 0:59

And SideQuest.

Josh 1:00

And Paramenopause. And.

Amanda 1:05

Your Paramenopause.

Josh 1:07

Yes. You know, I really do think that we should start the recording five minutes before we start recording.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

So all of the arguments we have before we start is recorded?

Josh 1:17

Yeah. I mean, it's been a heck of a, I guess year. Let's say year. Although really summer, right? We've done a lot of great things during the summer, but also we are dealing with both of us in some sort of like crisis? How would you define it?

Amanda 1:33

I mean, it's probably a crisis. It's like a psychological, physiological nightmare. Yeah, I mean, at times.

Josh 1:40

Field of landmines.

Amanda 1:42

Yes. Yes. At times. It's like, I don't know why, but all of the snails have moved into our neighborhood and they're all over the sidewalk because of the rain. And you can't walk without stepping on one. And then I feel really sad when I step on one. That's basically our marriage right now. Oh. A whole bunch of snails, and we can't step on it, and then I feel sad when I do.

Josh 2:00

Okay, say more about that.

Amanda 2:02

No, it's just because you are, you have self-diagnosed, but I do not think that you're wrong. And I think those of us who know you and lovely you have known this about

ADHD Unmasking Meets Perimenopause

Amanda 2:10

you for a long time. That you're realizing that you have been living with ADHD your whole life and you're unmasking, and that is creating this space in you in which you are no longer tolerant for certain things, or you respond in certain ways, or and it's and I'm not trying to say it's bad. I mean it's all bad because there are helpful things too, where you're just aware of yourself. But if you pair that with my perimenopause, which is a decreased ability to put up with my push. Put up with stuff, yeah. Um we are certainly in a place of friction right now. We are we are amongst the snails right now.

Josh 2:46

Well, yeah, we had a discussion yesterday in the car that could have been avoided, but maybe it couldn't have been avoided. And then we just had one right before we started recording. And the idea is yes, I think that this is the worst that it's gonna be, though, because what I'm doing is I'm just trying to figure out okay, how do I live acknowledging the fact that my brain is different than I thought it was, or I don't even know if that's it. My brain, my capacity is different than I thought that it could be. So I've always thought, well, if I just get better, if I just try harder, if I just do this, I I've been thinking that shit for a long ass time, right? Thinking that this is a problem with me or a defect with me, and I just need to try harder. Well, not really.

Amanda 3:31

But is that freeing now a little bit? Like understanding that it wasn't a lack of trying on your part, but it was just uh the way your brain is wired.

Josh 3:38

I don't know. See, this is what I'm working through now because at some points it's just me saying, Oh, well, I guess I just can't do that. And so freeing in that way, where I just don't try past what I think my capacity is, but I still don't know what my capacity is. And so part of it is just very frustrating because now it's like, well, you're not gonna get better because you have ADHD, you have this thing wrong with your brain, or not even wrong with your brain, your brain is laid out in a in a different way, right? The topography of your brain is is different than just everyone else who has a flat plane. I've got nooks and crannies and hills and canyons, lots of canyons, Jesus Christ. It's always gonna be that way. And yeah, it can get better with medication, it can get better with strategies and this and that, but I don't know how much better it can get. So in that way, it's it's kind of defeating.

Amanda 4:34

I I mean I see that. Like, because you were like, if I just try harder, I can be better, but you can't or but you can't be different. You are you, right? But you were sitting in the realness of the you are you, but it not yet going into the well, what can I do and how can I leverage the who I am in a way that is more helpful for the world and myself?

Josh 4:56

Um yeah, I don't know. So we're just figuring it out, but it's making for very interesting times in the Wilson household. We both we both still love each other.

Amanda 5:05

Well, yesterday we were having a conversation. Went through goes, can we just all be happy now? And we're like, no, I mean, we are we weren't yelling, we weren't cursing, we were just having a conversation. But I think we're just modeling that you can love someone and disagree with them and work through it, and um, but he was not here for our shenanigans.

Josh 5:21

Well no, because and also you were wrong. So he was right, he was feeling for you.

Amanda 5:25

I didn't remember what it was about, but now I'm mad again. That's the thing with perimenopause, is I can't remember what we fought about, but I just didn't know I'm mad.

Josh 5:34

Well, that's the funny thing though, because with my working memory the way it is or isn't, oftentimes I don't remember what we've argued about as well. Now, I always remember how I felt. That's something I don't forget. I remember how I felt in the conversation, even if I don't remember the particulars. But anyway, that's what we're going through right now. Welcome, all of you all listening.

Miami Trip And Zoo Disillusionment

Josh 5:56

We did just return from Miami. These trips that we take, I love them, and they bring me out of my routine, and they allow me to discover things about myself that sometimes I don't discover when I'm just going through my day-to-day. For example, I no longer like zoos.

Amanda 6:15

Oh, that's sad because you really wanted to go to the zoo.

Josh 6:18

I really did. Miami has a great zoo, and it's a zoo that I grew up going to. It's Miami. Well, it's called Zoo Miami. It used to be called the Metro Zoo and then Miami Metro Zoo. But it's Zoo, Miami now, and we I took Winthrop this last time. Very excited about him seeing it, but I saw, and I almost don't want to tell you this because it's it's really just sad. So we're walking around. Of course, it's it's summer in Miami, the heat is oppressive. So I always I you know, I already feel like I'm walking around with uh a warm, wet blanket on, right? So that it's kind of a slog. But we're seeing the animals, and and Winthrop's interested. We go up to the um the tiger uh exhibit. That was cool. I enjoyed that. I always uh like seeing the tigers. It's pretty much the first animals that you see as you go into the zoo, Miami. We go to the orangutan exhibit, and there were a couple of oranges out, right? But they it's hot and they weren't really paying much attention to to doing anything. Because it's too freaking hot to move. But one orangutan had gotten up, walked over, grabbed what I saw was like an old blanket that he was given, and then um he covered himself with that. And then the other one walked over and grabbed two pieces of cardboard and covered himself with that. Right, just for their privacy. And I'm like, what is going on? This is terrible.

Amanda 7:44

Yeah, that's it.

Josh 7:45

This is awesome. And then so as we're going through the residue, I noticed that all of the animals were either hiding rebu behind rocks or had their back to us. Yeah, it's like it was their strike day.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh 7:57

They all somehow got together and they said, Today, this is it. We're gonna, we're gonna make life for those people who paid lots of money, um, slightly miserable because they're gonna be walking through the Miami heat and we're gonna refuse to just be the monkey in the zoo.

Amanda 8:12

Well, I mean, good for them for having agency. No, zoos can be very um, they can be very depressing places, but if they're also used for rehabilitation and releasing to the wild and education or caring for animals that cannot be released, then I mean that at least makes the mission a little bit better.

Josh 8:31

Okay, I agree with that until I think about it a little bit more. I think the idea with most zoos now is you know, they they have animals that have been acclimatized to human humans providing for them. So if you release them into the wild, they're gonna be sunk. Like they're not so I get that, but also we created that. Yeah. So there's that. Um, it's the least that we can do to take care of them. But then why do we have to display them in these tiny ass displays? Then just build something for them to feel excited about life. Like they already didn't ask to be put on display.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Yeah.

Josh 9:14

So do it in such a way that they're comfortable and they've got like these large tracts of land to wander in, and for fuck's sake, so they can have privacy if they want to. You know who does that really well? Who's that?

Amanda 9:25

Disney. Animal Kingdom.

Josh 9:27

Go ahead.

Amanda 9:27

When you go, when you go like on the Animal Kingdom Safari, I mean, you're going through acres and acres of land, and they're all they are not. It looks like the lions are just out like on, you know, on the rocks and in the savannah. I mean, there are like trenches built so where they can't come across it, but it's not like fences, it's not whatever. Um, I mean, and so as far as a, I mean, it's it's Disney fied, but as far as like actual like animal responsibility or whatever, I feel like they do it well at Animal Kingdoms.

Josh 9:59

So you're saying that the way that they do it well is the animals have more space.

Amanda 10:02

Yeah.

Josh 10:03

Okay. Well, all right.

Amanda 10:04

Now Disney And they don't have to be out it and they very much say when you start the Safari ride, like we may or may not see anybody today. Like it depends on what's up to the what the animals are feeling like today.

Josh 10:14

It just seems to me that Disney has the least excuse because they can just build a whole bunch of fucking animatronics.

Amanda 10:19

Which they've done, that's called the jungle cruise.

Josh 10:22

Well, okay, but this is what I'm saying is they don't need to have any lions, right? Yeah, they if they're gonna set the lions way away from people, then just have it be an animatronic. If they're gonna capture anyone and like hold them and keep them for display, do that at the Hall of Presidents.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Right.

Josh 10:38

There are some presidents that I would like their real asses in there. So anyway, there was that.

What Zoos Owe The Animals

Josh 10:45

Also, uh prices in Miami are ridiculous.

Amanda 10:48

Oh my god. I told you that it what I saw when we we were there, they it just surpassed New York City as being the most expensive city cost of living.

Josh 10:56

So let me tell you, Winthrop at the zoo, right? He got a hot dog, yes, which grows, hate hot dogs, but whatever, that's what he wanted, plus 40 fries, because I counted them. I counted the fries, 40 fries for $11, right? Yes, $5.50 for a 16-ounce water, right? It's crazy. He ate 75% of the hot dog and none of the fries. Did you eat the fries? No, I didn't want the fries. Like I was I did not want to. So out of the 1650 uh that we spent on on his lunch, $6.78 were thrown just straight into the trash.

Amanda 11:30

I love that you've done the math on this.

Josh 11:32

Well, I was so freaking annoyed, man. Directly into the trash.

Amanda 11:36

Yeah, that's the thing about it.

Josh 11:37

41% of that meal. Well, and I noticed too that we took the water bottle, like we're walking around with it, and he was hot and he started to to sprinkle it on his head. I'm like, dude, no, don't do that.

Amanda 11:54

That's three dollars you just poured on your head. Don't make the child stressed about money. He already is. All of the kids' meals in Miami were $15.

Josh 12:02

Yeah.

Amanda 12:03

I mean, that's like how much I pay for an adult meal here. I mean, unless you're getting like steak or something, but I mean, I can eat for $15 here. Yeah. Kids' meals were $15.

Josh 12:14

Well, we spent how much did we spend when what's at the top?

Amanda 12:17

So much money. Um, at the top it was $49.

Josh 12:19

Was it for all four of us? Yeah. Oh, that's pretty good.

Amanda 12:21

I mean, and then I tipped. Oh, very good. But yeah, no, it was good. Oh, wow. I mean, the difference is we also didn't drink. Yeah. Alcohol will put it like way up. We didn't we didn't have anything to do with it.

Josh 12:30

This is I'm gonna start carrying a flask from now on.

Amanda 12:33

I've actually fully supported. I just get soda water with lime when we're out now because one, we have a pub in our house, so I don't need to pay for it out. But also, it's just so prohibitively expensive. But yeah, I mean, we did not eat a meal in Miami. It was a hundred dollars under a hundred dollars when when we went out to eat. It was insane. Right. Like if I think about the amount of money I spent on food, I'm very upset.

Josh 12:56

Well, another thing that I noticed in Miami is that um another manifestation of your perimenopause. First of all, we put a video on TikTok where you're talking about your perimenopause.

Amanda 13:08

You pissed somebody off.

Josh 13:09

I did piss someone off, but that's okay. But it's gotten the most attention than we have ever gotten on TikTok. And that's really just the thing.

Amanda 13:17

That's just the perimenopause.

Josh 13:19

We need to post perimenopause um content, and then of course, we're supposed to record with cameras today, and I just couldn't be fussed to set those.

Amanda 13:27

I put lip gloss on, I put earrings in. Like I was ready to do this. Oh really? We were like, eh.

Josh 13:32

Oh shit.

Amanda 13:33

So we should No, it's too late. We've started. I'm not going back.

Josh 13:36

Okay, okay.

Amanda 13:38

Forget it.

Josh 13:38

Another thing they have at the zoo that annoyed me was the they have these carts that you purchase, like you rent

Miami Prices And Vacation Math

Josh 13:45

these carts.

Amanda 13:45

To push your child around in?

Josh 13:47

No, no, no, no, no. They're they look like regular cars almost, but they're you Fred Flinced on it basically, because you they have pedals and all four people who are sitting in them can pedal. And so the idea is that you you load your family up and you all pedal around the zoo. And I'm just like, just walk. It's it's another um the infantilization of the United States or something. I don't know.

Amanda 14:10

You still have to like expend energy to do this, right?

Josh 14:14

But no, no, dude. First of all, it made the zoo even that much more miserable because you're dodging these fucking carts because the zoo was not built with these carts in mind. They built the the zoo before they they came up with the idea of these carts. And then the the second thing is that you could have got you're you're bypassing so much good exercise. Zoos are great in that people can walk in them and they have a reason to walk, get a lot of good exercise. You're not thinking about it, but no, we need to turn ourselves the the prophecy that was laid forth by the holy movie Wally is coming true. You know, we're just getting more and more. Pretty soon, you know, that you know how they put artificial limbs on people? Like they're gonna just put wheels on people. It's like it's a thing that you can do, is just get wheels. They have your legs chopped out, your feet chopped, just get wheels, permanent wheels.

Amanda 15:05

I don't want that.

Josh 15:06

Okay.

Amanda 15:08

You were talking about my perimenopause in Miami and you interrupted yourself.

Josh 15:12

Oh, yeah, that's right. So anyway, I saw that come out in a big way because we were crossing the street.

Amanda 15:17

It was a walk sign.

Josh 15:19

And I saw you yelling at a guy who was honking because he was mad at the people in the crosswalk and it was a walk sign. You were no, but no, this is what happened.

Amanda 15:31

He was wrong.

Josh 15:32

No, listen.

Amanda 15:33

No, no, he was wrong.

Josh 15:34

You're misremembering because what had happened was there was a guy who was honking because the car in front of him had stopped for the people to go across the street with the walk sign. First of all, the people didn't have the walk sign.

Amanda 15:46

Yes, they did. Anyway,

Perimenopause Rage In The Crosswalk

Amanda 15:48

you are a hundred percent not remembering this correctly.

Josh 15:50

You got rageful. You got it.

Amanda 15:52

I did, because he was being an ass, and there was no point.

Josh 15:55

But you were yelling at the guy through his closed window. I was you, dude. I saw a part of you I'd never seen before.

Amanda 16:01

No, uh-uh. We were walking, uh, there was a public across the street from the hotel we were staying in, and we were walking. There was a couple in front of us, right? Waiting, and we were all sitting there waiting for the the light to change so that we could walk. The light changed. The car in front of him didn't go because the light was changing, and then it the walk sign came on. So people were starting to cross the street, and he's laying on his horn because the car's not turning right. He wanted them to turn right because people were crossing the street, people are in the crosswalk. So I just looked at him because he was even with me, and I started pointing to the cross. I'm like, it is a crosswalk. There was a light, and he started like waving at me to go, like just fine, go, and then honking as he was going too. Here's the thing I know that it's not safe to yell at people in Miami. We were in coral cables, like we weren't like in scary parts of Miami. We were in the bougie, everybody's driving a Tesla part of Miami, which is probably worse, actually. But um, no, I don't, I did not have the patience for it.

Josh 16:58

No, yeah. So anyway, I just never seen you a moat like that in a public forum before.

Amanda 17:04

Well, stick around.

Kid Wisdom And Muffy Returns Home

Josh 17:22

Winthrop has done it again.

Amanda 17:24

What, what? Many, many things he's done.

Josh 17:27

He's he's starting to come out with these little little observations and whatever that we need to write down and somehow monetize.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Like life starts over every time you breathe or something.

Josh 17:38

Yeah, yeah, like we talked about last episode. But this newest one I love because it's just brilliant. He said, he said this to you. He said, mirrors don't break, they just multiply.

Amanda 17:49

Yes. And it's he's not wrong.

Josh 17:53

Genius.

Amanda 17:54

So yeah, we went to Miami and we got Muffy back. So Muffy's back. Muffy had a really lovely time. She was in Istanbul studying for six weeks and went to Budapest and went to Paris and Cappadocia, and now she's back and moving back into uh her apartment

Meal Planning Burnout And Decision Paralysis

Amanda 18:10

on campus uh next Saturday. So we got a week of feeding lots of children, and I'm trying to meal plan and I've decided I don't like it.

Josh 18:18

I love how we've bought this new or not new, it's not new now. We've had a couple of months. We bought a nice digital.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

I never asked for this.

Josh 18:27

And what it in it, it has a meal planning option for you to go and put that in there. And what you've done this last week is to buy it's to buy a really, really low-tech dry erase uh magnet.

Amanda 18:40

It's a magnet that goes on on the refrigerator. First of all, it came from Aldi. Hush. Second of all, um you haven't turned the digital camera on in months.

Josh 18:50

So don't calendar, not a camera, but it's calendar, whatever.

Amanda 18:53

You've not turned this digital thing on in months to put anything in. So don't you wanted it, you bought it, it's got dusty on the on the counter because no one's using it. Don't look at me for that. And meal planning, it doesn't help you meal plan. You just put in what you're what you're going to eat. This is freaking on the refrigerator. I see it much easier than I see this thing that's on the counter. And but here's the problem. I meal planned. I pulled down the like, these are all the healthy foods we're supposed to be eating. I went through and made up a meal plan for this week. I already don't want to do it. I don't like the things I wrote on there anymore. I don't want to eat them. Like, I don't want it, and now I'm annoyed.

Josh 19:34

Um, I I was reading about foods that I should have as someone with ADHD, so I need to give you that list.

Amanda 19:40

No, you need to get your own food.

Josh 19:42

Is that what it is?

Amanda 19:43

Yeah, I just I can't. Like, I can't. I can't with these foods. I just I why do people need to eat every day? Why do people keep showing up here needing food? Like, I'm just so tired. I don't want to cook dinner. I don't want to do it. Like, I know I need to feed these children, and I know I need to feed myself and you, but I just don't I can't I barely have the energy to feed the dog. And that just requires opening up his bag of food from the refrigerator and putting it in a bowl, not even cooking it. Like I just no one told me that so much of my adult energy would be on what to what to make for food.

Josh 20:23

Why don't they make a kid's version of dog food? Stay with me. They have this food that we buy for the dog now that's supposed to be the healthiest food you could buy for a dog, but it's still as easy as opening the container and dumping it in a bowl. Why don't they have that for kids where it's like all the shit mixed up into a single food substance that you can just dump on a plate for them? Hell, I would eat that too, actually, you know, because I get all twisted up. Now, the thing I'm learning about myself is I have decision paralysis, number one. And number two, there are tasks that should be easy for people that for me feel like the impossible task, right? So how we fix that is we make a food that is healthy and nutritious, but just that we could just dump onto a plate and eat. Like one step. I can do one step, dump onto that's why I love uh making eggs in the morning because it's two steps crack the eggs in the thing, heat them up, eat them, done, boom. Every morning, every morning now.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Are you not tired of eggs yet?

Josh 21:25

No, no, but I don't get tired of food like that. You know, it's another thing is like because it's so easy, because it short circuits the decision paralysis, that's what matters to me. Now I'd also like it for it to be good for me, which is why I eat eggs and not like hash browns in the microwave, because eggs are high protein. I need high protein in the morning for my brain to do what little it can do. Um, but I'm happy now to eat eggs in the morning, four eggs in the morning for the rest of my life. Okay. Because that's settled. It's set. I don't have to think about it. So I'd love to come home and just dump a plate full of stuff that's been mixed together, you know, dump it onto my plate and eat it, and I'm so happy. And I'm sure you would love that too.

Amanda 22:10

I'd happily feed you out of a bag.

Josh 22:12

So how can we make this happen? Can we can we commission someone to do this? Or do they do it? Maybe it's already done. See, the trick is that there's plenty of food in a bag that I can't sustain myself on. I'm sure that if I wanted to come home and dump a bag of cool ranch burritos on my plate every night.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Cool ranch burritos, you just made a new thing.

Josh 22:31

Doritos, but burritos too, who knows? Then I would be set until, of course, I passed away from whatever Doritos end up doing to you. So like I need healthy meals that taste acceptable to me, but that I don't need to spend a lot of time making or cleaning up.

Amanda 22:49

Well, they do like the home delivery things where these things are already cooked. Like they're already made for you. They're just so freaking expensive.

Josh 22:56

Oh, do they? What's this now? What are you talking about? It's already cooked?

Amanda 23:01

Yeah, and you just heat it up.

Josh 23:03

Oh, like microwave uh I guess they make microwave meals, but those aren't healthy. So these are healthy versions of that? Huh. All right, well, let's look into that.

Amanda 23:11

That was very expensive. Yeah, it was.

Josh 23:13

But so groceries, so groceries at this point. Maybe it's it's equalized. I wanted to talk a little bit about Muffy's trip,

Florida Keys Detour And Aldi Joy

Josh 23:20

or actually not Muffy's trip necessarily, but contrasting with something that you did. So Muffy went to Cappadocia, Istanbul, Budapest, all these wonderful Paris, all these wonderful places. I went to the world. And she was so happy. I took you to the Florida Keys because you've never been there. I was so excited. Yeah, because it was exciting for you to take that off of your list.

Amanda 23:44

So I'm a native Floridian and I've never been to the Keys.

Josh 23:47

So we drive down to the Keys and we end up stopping by the water and spending a little time dipping our feet in. Like we didn't go and stay. Um, we didn't go all the way down to Key West, which would be fun to do one day, but I did want to at least take you to the Keys. And so I did that and I was so happy to do that for you. Frickin' the best part of our trip to the Keys are that we passed an Aldi and you were desperate to go in the Aldi.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

I was so happy to go to Aldi and Key Largo. I was so happy. I like took a selfie of me there and posted it. I was so happy.

Josh 24:21

What is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_02 24:22

I love Aldi. Why is this wrong?

Amanda 24:25

Why is it wrong that I love Aldi?

Josh 24:27

It's not wrong, but it shouldn't be the highlight of a trip to the keys. You can see where there's a problem there.

Amanda 24:32

It wasn't the fact that we drove over the bridge, it was like you're not entering the Florida Keys, and that you thought to do this for me. It wasn't a thing we talked about. You just said I want to take you. And it was lovely and it was spontaneous, and I loved all those things. But I like to, when I travel, I like to buy a piece of clothing when I travel because then it's like then I I wear that and I remember the place that I was, right? And I don't mean like a shirt that says like Miami and I mean like I, you know, buy a piece of clothing that I wear. And where do I get a lot of my clothes? Aldi. And had I had not been to Aldi that week, I didn't know what new clothes they had out. Now they didn't have anything that I wanted, and the only thing that I bought at Aldi was a soccer ball for Winthrop, but whatever. Um, but it just made me very happy. But I mean it wasn't like I said, I just want to go to Aldi and leave. Like we went to the water and that.

Josh 25:15

But we did pass the Aldi, and you made it known to me that you would be very upset if we didn't stop at the Aldi in the show.

Amanda 25:22

I know, and you took me and I appreciate you, thank you. And it was a new Aldi.

Josh 25:26

Oh, okay.

Amanda 25:27

It said now open and it was very clean. And you were like, this is nicer than our Aldi when we went in because it's new. I it doesn't matter if it makes me happy, does it matter? It Yes, it clearly it

Children’s Museums And Sensory Overload

Amanda 25:40

does.

Josh 25:40

Listen, it's content. If nothing else, it's content.

Amanda 25:43

I loved it. It made me happy. What you haven't talked about are all the notes that you made when we went to the children's museum. Because you kept stopping to put notes in your phone about the children's museum.

Josh 25:53

Oh, I hate children's museums now. I hate them so much. First of all, people never, never, never build children's museums with parents in mind. Never. It's always that's not in the name. Right. No, but then they're stupid because you want the parents to be happy enough to say, okay, I'm gonna recommend this to other parents, or I want to come back. Yes. Um, they don't do that.

Amanda 26:17

What would you like in a children's museum?

Josh 26:20

I would like for them to put up sound baffling equipment, first of all. Like it's so easy for them to put up some of those styrofoam egg crates or whatever it is that they do, so that it's kids, you know it's going to be fucking loud. So why are you like putting in all of these rooms just the flattest, most sound reflective um surfaces you can so that the children, you know, they just scream and yell, and the parents just want to jump off the top of the children's museum. That should be a part of the exhibit. Here's the stairs, parents, if you can't take it anymore. But that in and of itself would be such a great innovation. They had a room in this children's museum, the one in Miami, that I actually appreciated. I guess I appreciated the thought of it. It was a quiet room.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

It was like yeah, it was a sensory room for it. Can't be overloaded.

Josh 27:08

Children who can't be overly stimulated. Well, guess what? I'm an adult who can't be overly stimulated. So I was into go so we would go in this room. It was great for the first couple seconds, and then fucking kids came in, loud kids came in and started yelling. I'm like, where's the enforcement? Yes. Where's the children's museum police for this area?

Amanda 27:29

It was very it was cool. The lighting was low, there was really nice music, there were bubbles, like you could step on the floor and the water would ripple and ball. It was very it was like a really interesting sensory room, but yeah, this kid was just in there screaming.

Josh 27:43

No, no good.

Amanda 27:44

But what I liked about this one is they had um they had an exhibit on putt-putt, and they had a whole nine course putt-putt, nine whole putt-putt course in one of the rooms. It was, I mean it was a big room, and Wenthrop got to play through twice, which made him so happy because he wants to play putt-putt. And it's you know, we're never in a place where there's putt-putt. And um, you know, he was able to do it as part of the admission fee. So that was nice.

Josh 28:10

Yeah, I didn't mind that. That was fine. And he it had an outdoor and what they called an outdoor soccer exhibit, but it was strange because it was decorated like a canyon.

Amanda 28:21

Like alien, but with aliens.

Josh 28:23

Like with yeah, I didn't get that. It felt like an afterthought, but it was probably the alien canyon, and then like world world cups coming to me. Like, okay, we're putting soccer in here, but whatever. It was fine. I just something can be done to make these children's museums better. That's all I'm saying. So someone needs to get on that and deal with that for the sake of these poor parents.

Amanda 28:43

Massage chairs and a wine bar.

Josh 28:44

There you go.

Back To School Traditions Quiz

Josh 29:01

Game time, ew.

Amanda 29:09

So that music is by AJCW, also known as our middleest son Andrew. And um we have that music now. That I'm I'm focusing so hard on the fact that I got his initials right, I can't think of anything else. Because I get his initials wrong almost every time, and I was so proud of myself, but then I was just congratulating myself that I wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying. That song means it's game time, and I'm not gonna do flashbacks. We've been we've been overly doing flashbacks, and you and Gavin were crap at it last time, so I'm not doing it. But it is tomorrow here for us is the first day of school for Winthrop, right? I am, I I successfully have finished my first semester of my doctoral work. Um, I'm two courses down, about 150 million left to go. But I'm I'm on a couple weeks' break, and then Muffy and I go back to to the University of Florida uh at the same time. But Winthrop starts tomorrow. So I have a back to school traditions around the world quiz. So, you know, we know how we do what would you say some back to school traditions in the US are?

Josh 30:12

Spending a lot of money on teacher supplies, school supplies, not necessarily for the child.

Amanda 30:17

I mean for the teacher, but also for the child, but yes.

Josh 30:19

No, but also teacher supplies, like we have to buy supplies for the room now, which is sad. Um, like going out and buying school clothes. I don't think that's a thing that we do, but it's a thing that we used to do growing up. It's like at the end of every summer, you go buy new clothes. Why don't we do that? Do other parents do that?

Amanda 30:36

I don't I used to do it with Muffy, but I mean, but then COVID happened and like whatever. But um we she and I used to do back-to-school shopping with her mom mom, with my mom when she was younger. We'd do all the back to school shop.

Josh 30:47

And we don't do that with Winthrop.

Amanda 30:48

No, because we like we've said before, we were very fortunate that we were given a lot of clothes for him. And we're just now getting to where we need to buy some. Although I did try to buy him some more, and he was like, Mom, I got enough clothes. I mean, he really very opposite of his sister. Very opposite of his sister. Okay. So, and also I would say the first day of school picture that everybody like should take the first day of school picture. And then one thing we've never done, but like the little signs like my first day of fourth grade, I want to be in like whatever when I go to the city.

Josh 31:16

And meet the teacher, that's a thing. Yeah, yeah. That always happens. Do they do that in other countries? Meet the teacher.

Amanda 31:20

I don't know.

Josh 31:20

So we're gonna We didn't used to do meet the teacher when I was growing up, by the way. Like, I never didn't.

Amanda 31:24

Just showed up and had a teacher.

Josh 31:25

Yeah, I didn't know what the fuck was I was getting. It's like, I don't know. They didn't they didn't cater to us in that way. They were just like, you you go, go here. I would have to go to the office. Everyone go to the office, they get their schedule to even know what homeroom they were going to. Yeah, right. So I'd go be a long ass line, go get your schedule and and then go from there. Like, who is this? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Where's this room? Don't know.

Amanda 31:46

Okay, well, don't I'm just gonna wander around until I find it. All right, no, all right. So here we are going to um, I'm gonna ask you some some around the world back to school questions, okay?

Josh 31:56

Okay.

Amanda 31:56

I do have multiple choice, but do you want to try your guest first and then multiple choice?

Josh 32:01

I do.

Amanda 32:02

Okay. So in Germany, this is the land of your ancestors. Many children receive a special gift on their first day of school. What is it?

Josh 32:11

Well, with the Germans, I would think that it would be like uh I was gonna say a dagger. I don't know where that came from.

Amanda 32:22

All the little children going to school with their daggers.

Josh 32:24

Let's see. Um uh brought worst.

Amanda 32:26

Okay. So your choice is it is not brought worst. A new backpack filled with books, a bell to ring in the new school year, a bouquet of flowers for their teacher, or a cone filled with sweets and school supplies.

Josh 32:38

Okay, I'm gonna say that they're not giving however 200, 300 plus children in any given school bells on the first day of school.

Amanda 32:48

Right.

Josh 32:48

Um, so I'm gonna say the the last one, the cone of sweets and supplies.

Amanda 32:52

It is. And somewhere I read that this is just for first graders. I'm not quite sure though, but it's called a uh-uh, not gonna try it, Monique. If Monique is still listening, it's spelled S-C-H-U-L-T-U with the unlatte. So let me know what that is. It stands for school cone. Families present a colorful paper cone filled with candy, pencils, and small gifts to children on their first day of elementary school. So, yeah, it's like when they first start.

Josh 33:15

That's cute. I love that.

Amanda 33:17

Dating back to the early 19th century in Saxonia, this tradition originated as a way to literally sweeten the transition from home to school.

Josh 33:24

And again, with U.S. schools, you gotta bring your own cone.

Amanda 33:28

That's right. Provide the candy for I was reading somewhere that the cones are like as big as the kids. Oh like they're big. Wow. Okay. In Chile, when do students typically start the school year? Like what month?

Josh 33:40

Oh, I was gonna say eight o'clock. Um January.

Amanda 33:43

January is a choice, and it is wrong. The answer is late February or early March, because Chile is in the Southern Hemisphere. The school year begins just after summer in late February or March. The academic year runs until December, leaving the longest vacation to the war warmer months of the year. Other South American countries, including Brazil and Argentina, follow a similar schedule, reflecting how geography shapes education. All right. Which country is famous for its sturdy box shape randosor randosuru R-A-N-D-O Rando Suru S-E-R-U. Backpack, traditionally gifted to first graders. Would you like to see a picture of it?

Josh 34:25

Sure.

Amanda 34:26

It looks like this.

Josh 34:27

Okay, so it's just a plain uh I'm gonna say Japan.

Amanda 34:31

It is Japan. And um I read that they are um they're meant to last their entire school career and they're like several hundred dollars. Oh wow. So that often lasts the entire elementary school period and symbolizes durability, responsibility, and a family's support and students' education. Unlike typical backpacks in other countries, these are considered a long-term investment in the child's schooling. Over time, it has become a cultural icon featuring in anime and fashion, as well as becoming a symbol of leaving the nest, marking the transition from early childhood to grade school.

Josh 35:02

Now, in the United States, what they would do is they would issue one of these. They would tell you that you need to have this same one from first grade to twelfth grade, but that you'd have to buy it new every year because it would it was made out of plastic and chewing gum and it's gonna fall apart.

Amanda 35:19

Yes, correct. In Kenya, what is one of the most important purchases for families at the start of the school year?

Josh 35:26

Bear spray?

Amanda 35:28

In Kenya? They're bears in Kenya? I don't know. All right, your choices are new uniforms, personal laptops, a packed lunchbox, or school shoes.

Josh 35:37

School shoes.

Amanda 35:38

Wrong. New uniforms. Uniforms are required for students of all ages, symbolizing belonging, and families often invest a significant portion of their back to school budget for them. Shoes and supplies are also purchased, but the uniform is the visible marker of a student's identity and social integration. While uniforms can bring a sense of equality and unity, many point out that the cost of uniforms can pose difficulties to families who cannot afford them. We were talking about uniforms when we were in Miami, because I think the public schools have to wear uniforms in Miami. Yeah. Um, which they did here for a little bit of time in our county, and then it went by the wayside. And Winthrop was not interested in uniforms.

Josh 36:16

I it annoys me. I why did it collapse here in the county? Did parents I don't actually know. I wasn't they probably had some to some sort of bullshit about oh, kids can't express their individuality and all that mess. Listen, let me tell you something. I have been playing with the idea for the last however many weeks, month or so. This idea of having a personal uniform to um cut down on decision fatigue.

SPEAKER_05 36:40

Yeah.

Josh 36:40

Um, I Steve Jobs did that, right? So he had the the black turtleneck and the jeans, and he had just closets full of black turtleneck and jeans. And I am down for that idea. Like just to have six pairs of you know, tan pants, tan chinos or whatever, and then six shirts that look the same, and have that be my work uniform, that would be so great.

Amanda 37:07

Do you want like a button down for every day? Like, because you wear the button-down like long sleeve, usually like Roth Lauren shirt or whatever. Every day, the exact same one, just in six different copies of it, or like a variation of. So it's still a button-down, but you want the same exact thing?

Josh 37:25

No, the idea is that have them be exactly the same, so you don't have to choose between you know, this one or that one. Like that's all of these are like microfatigues to people with ADHD. It's like whenever you're presented with a decision, there's a possibility that it's going to be a decision that you that all of a sudden is is a stoplight, right? So if I can get rid of all those stoplights, man, I'm gonna almost be a real boy.

unknown 37:52

Okay.

Amanda 37:52

So your four eggs in the morning and your same shirts every day. Yes. Got it. Okay. What is unique about the Finnish approach to early education? Early education. Students take standardized tests daily. Students start formal school at the age of seven, school days last 10 hours, or daily homework is mandatory?

Josh 38:11

Well, I guess we've gone away from the idea of me trying to guess.

Amanda 38:15

Um shoot, I'm so sorry. I forgot.

Josh 38:17

I'm gonna go with the extra long uh school day.

Amanda 38:20

I feel like it's wrong. Yes, it's students start formal age, formal school at the age of seven. Finland emphasizes play-based learning in early childhood. Unlike many countries, there is minimal standardized testing and homework in the early years, fostering long-term academic and social development. This approach surprises many people because Finnish students consistently perform at high level without traditional academic pressures. This is also ref this also reflects a national belief that productivity doesn't come from longer hours, but from focused effort and well-being. It's a lesson that carries directly into Finnish office life. Okay. Let's move to Finland. All right. Which country is known for a high-stakes university entrance exam so important that flights are grounded and office delay offices delay opening hours on test day.

Josh 39:09

Oh wow.

Amanda 39:10

Flights are grounded.

Josh 39:11

Uh uh Brazil.

Amanda 39:14

Oh, your choices are India, China, South Korea, or Vietnam.

Josh 39:17

South China.

Amanda 39:20

Wrong. It was South Korea. Every November the Sun Young exam in South Korea essentially determines future career and life opportunities. No pressure, making it one of the most intense academic events in the world. China's Gao Kao, maybe, is equally competitive, but doesn't halt planes or city traffic the way Korea's exam does. The results largely determine university admissions, future career opportunities, and even social standings. Success at elite schools, specifically the SKY university, Seoul National Korea Yancy, is seen as a gateway to prestige. That is a whole different scenario than Finland.

Josh 40:00

Yeah, and a different scenario than here when we don't even um stop our society for voting day.

Amanda 40:08

Right. Okay. And Russia and several Eastern European countries, how is the first day of school celebrated?

Josh 40:16

Um, whiskey all around.

Amanda 40:18

Yes. All right, with a ceremony called the first bell, with a parade of students wearing national costumes by releasing balloons with wishes for the year, hopefully they're eco-friendly, or with a family picnic near the school grounds. That sounds lovely.

Josh 40:30

I'm gonna go with picnic.

Amanda 40:33

Wrong. With a ceremony called the first bell, during Denzanai Knowledge Day, a first year student is lifted onto the shoulders of an older student to ring the first bell. It's like the first gift of Christmas in like the Polar Express and mark the start of the academic year. This ritual is deeply symbolic of new beginnings. Parents, relatives, and graduating students often attend the ceremony to celebrate the start of the new year. Balloons are sometimes included in modern versions, but the bell is the centerpiece. Alright, we just have a few more questions. You ready?

Josh 41:04

Feel free to cut this off at any time. No, no, no. I'm doing horribly.

Amanda 41:07

In India, some schools mark admission day with a surprising gift. What is it?

Josh 41:14

Uh a cone filled with uh candy and school supplies.

Amanda 41:18

Germany. A new pin set, a box of sweets, a flower garden, or an a garland. Not a garden. I want a flower garden or an umbrella.

Josh 41:27

Flower garden. Garland.

Amanda 41:29

Uh it is an umbrella. In parts of southern India, students receive new umbrellas as a practical and symbolic gift on admission day, especially since the school year often begins during late May or early June, coinciding with monsoon season. In other regions, sweets and garlands might be added, but the umbrella is the most distinctive tradition. I will say when I was teaching, it never failed that we had an afternoon storm during dismissal on the first day, and I looked at the weather for tomorrow, and it is supposed to rain between two and three o'clock, which is dismissal.

Josh 41:58

Of course.

Amanda 41:59

All right. In the United States, which of the following is a common modern back to school ritual? You should get this.

Josh 42:05

Okay, go ahead.

Amanda 42:07

Planting a tree for each new school year, lighting candles for good luck in learning, taking photos on the front porch for the first day, or giving fruit baskets to teachers.

Josh 42:20

Okay, so taking photos.

Amanda 42:21

Yes. Yes, we talked about that to begin with. All right. In Italy, when do most students return to school?

Josh 42:28

Is this the last one?

Amanda 42:29

No, there's two more. I mean this one and one more.

Josh 42:33

Um May 1st. I don't know. We've already asked a question about the first day.

Amanda 42:37

That was a different country. That was in Chile. The first Monday in August, around mid-September, January after Epiphany, or the first day of October.

Josh 42:45

Um, first day of October.

Amanda 42:47

Wrong. Around mid-September. Okay, so they start later than us. I don't want to talk about that because that's annoying. All right. That was the last one. I was wrong. Congratulations. You answered three questions correctly.

Josh 42:58

Wait, I I only marked down two. I've been grading my own. You did give me one. I don't understand um

Share Your School Traditions By Email

Josh 43:05

why in the world. Well, that was awful.

Amanda 43:07

Well, okay, but here's the thing if you listen to us and you are from another country, or even if you have different regional um uh first day of school traditions in in the U.S., right, give us a uh drop us a line at familiarwilsons at gmail.com and let us know about the back to school traditions in your hometown. And um also happy back to school for all those who listen, especially our good friend Jeff. Refined gay Jeff is going to be starting his new school year soon, and I hope that it goes fabulously for you, Jeff.

Refined Gay Jeff’s Thoughts And Stories

Josh 44:09

Speaking of Refined Gay Jeff, we have Refined Gay Thoughts from Refine Gay Jeff. So here we go. He says, Hi, Wilsons. I hope these thoughts find you well and in good spirits. I'm glad that Muffy made it back home safely last week and loved following her epic adventures. Did she have a favorite experience or did they just all run together? What do you do?

Amanda 44:34

I was too busy drinking your wine. That's a really good question, Jeff. Um I will ask her.

Josh 44:39

Sometimes he says those favorite experiences don't solidify until days after a trip when she's had time to process everything. So we we will see.

Amanda 44:48

I will say one thing is that she said that she's made lifelong friends from this trip. So they seem to have bonded really well. So that's great. Why are you like you are?

Josh 44:59

He goes on. It was great to hear Gavin last week and the new tales of his dating quests.

SPEAKER_01 45:05

Oh boy.

Josh 45:06

I remember the previous stories from a while back, but this current one could be a movie of the week airing in prime time. It's giving very quote tales from the city, unquote, by Amisted Maupin, but without the gay sex. Gavin, have you heard of the American author Amisted Maupin? He's currently 82 years old and moved to Clapham with his husband Christopher Turner back in 2019 and actually became a British citizen in late 2023.

Amanda 45:34

You should go meet him, Gavin.

Josh 45:36

Yes. Um he continues on concerning the coffee cantata by Bach that you discussed in the flashback game. I don't remember that. Bach wrote no operas, he said, but this short cantata is basically a miniature comic opera. In it, the father becomes upset with his grown daughter in a pub and grabs her coffee cup and slams it to the floor where it shatters in pieces. Immediately the daughter responds in the next aria for her father not to be so hard. If she can't drink her little cup of coffee three times a day, then she would become so upset that she would be like a dried-up piece of roast goat.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

Oh god, that's very descriptive.

Josh 46:17

She explains how sweet coffee tastes, lovelier than a thousand kisses, and smoother than a muscatel wine. Um he says, sorry, my unused music degree in voice and piano just surfaced. I had to share.

Amanda 46:30

No, it's good to know. He did say it was like better than a thousand kisses, so that's true.

Josh 46:35

Now the librarian in me is coming out by telling you that the settings for all of the Little House series books by Laura Ingalls Wilder took place in different states. Little House on the Prairie is in Kansas, but the others are in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, and the Dakota Territory. Thank you. He goes on to um to praise Gavin for the title of his podcast. Be There with Belson is kind of brilliant. If you add it actually set it up this way, did you choose that title to sound like the popular phrase be there with Bellzon? That's a stroke of genius. Congratulations. Um what do you think they did that on purpose?

Amanda 47:12

Well, do you remember when you first like before I knew either one of them and you first started listening to them? And I was like, What are you listening to? I don't understand anything that that gentleman is saying. And and then you kept saying, Oh, it's these two brothers. It's be so I kept saying, Where's are you listening to bells on? Are you listening to the bells on people? And you would get so annoyed when you were like, It's Belson. I'm like, but clearly it's a play on the term. The phrase be there with bells on. Clearly, that is what they've done. But you would get really frustrated with me because I was disrespecting your friends. But you I don't, I don't maybe you had talked to like once on Twitter.

Josh 47:45

Um, I think that they didn't do it on purpose.

Amanda 47:48

Um, I'm sorry, Belsins, because I think that Josh just insulted you.

Josh 47:52

Uh Jeff continues on. Teachers went back to work here in Houston a week and a half ago, and I was okay to that. I always prefer to be in routine. I've been going nonstop, but I'm ready for kids to come in on Monday. I went uh in today on Saturday, which would have been yesterday, just to finish up a few things, and about ten members of the football team were walking around the school in full padded uniforms. They all came to the library, and I got some great pics of them standing around the shelves holding books, pretending to read to themselves and to each other.

Amanda 48:22

I love this so much. You should turn those into posters and put them in the hallways.

Josh 48:25

I'm gonna post them on my library social media. The head football coach was excited about it and wants me to help them with other photo shoot ideas, so it was a great morning.

Amanda 48:34

I love this. And also that, you know, like get people interested in reading because the the the football stars do it.

Josh 48:41

And he closes out with best wishes. If you would like to send us an email, drop us a line at familiarwilsons at gmail.com. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What'd you think of that mess?

Amanda 49:02

I mean, I thought that we um didn't get in a fight during the actual recording, so that was good.

Josh 49:07

Well, we stopped recording and fought a couple times. Um, yeah, well, this is this is what it's like living with the Wilsons. Anyone want to come and hang out? We would like to thank, of course, these following folks who we think are just Peachy Keen, Antonio, Josh Scar, Daniel J. Buckets, Chicken Tom, R.I.P. Matt, Monique from Germany, Joey, Joey, Ropey, Dopy, and Smoky, Leo, Refined Gay Jeff, Ryan Baker, Tasha, Terry, Mark and Rachel, Dan and Gavin, and Kate and Tony.

SPEAKER_02 49:40

Thanks, friends.

Josh 49:41

Thank you to Ricky Kendall for our theme song. Also to Chris Barron for our other little tiny theme song, and AJCW for um any other music, like the game time music or anything else I try to throw in there, uh, including the song that you're listening to right now underneath this rambling. Amanda, are we gonna make it?

Amanda 50:07

Wait, are we gonna make it like to next week? Are we gonna make it like in our relationship? Are we gonna make it like as a society? I need to know which one you mean.

Josh 50:15

Pick one.

Amanda 50:16

Yes, we are.

Josh 50:18

Yes. Excellent. Thank you. Alright, folks, so until next week, or I should say next time, because who knows? We might do another episode tomorrow. Oh. You just don't know.

Amanda 50:28

We you don't. That is true. You don't know around here.

Josh 50:32

So until next time, folks, see you later. Bye.

Amanda 50:37

Bye.