Nobody Asked for the Pee Quiz

This week, our marriage is fine, the dog has entered assisted living, and Josh is considering growing a mullet despite a significant shortage of front-of-house hair. We wander through ADHD unmasking, Alexa’s refusal to play the correct Brooks & Dunn, the economics of crow friendship, and the growing suspicion that Finland may simply be too content to listen to this podcast.

Then Amanda finds an online quiz designed to make Josh pee himself.

It does not.

Emotionally, however, everyone leaves damp.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
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Transcript

Snail Metaphor And Listener Concern

SPEAKER_02 0:00

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

Josh 0:03

The following podcast uses words like and and also Woo. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Three, two, one.

Josh 0:13

Run.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Welcome back to Conversation. You don't go to my job. You don't want me to. I don't want to be familiar. Don't be stranger.

Amanda 0:54

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

Josh 0:57

And I'm Josh, and we're the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

Amanda 1:01

And side quests.

Josh 1:02

Amanda, before we do anything else, we got a panicked text from Refine Gay Jeff. And in it, he says, let's see if I can find it now. I should have had it ready. Um, he says, I hope you're both doing well. I got genuinely scared and really concerned during your opening monologue this past week.

Amanda 1:27

Yeah.

Josh 1:28

And then you said, Oh no, what do you mean? And he said, Oh, just you guys dealing with all the things ADHD, paramenopause, and snails. And the snail's reference is that you said that our marriage is like walking on a sidewalk full of snails, that you're afraid of stepping on something, um, and that you're upset whenever you do, or something like that.

Amanda 1:48

And we're both the snails. It's like between your unmasking all of the ADHD and me having paramenopause and then things being stressful, it's like I'm trying not to step on these snails, and inevitably one of us is stepping on a snail.

Josh 2:00

Right. And what he took that was that we're on rocky ground.

Amanda 2:03

No, we're not. We're on snail ground. But what did I say back to him? I reassured him.

Josh 2:08

We're fine, folks. Uh if you're worried about us, that's not what we want. That's not why we do a podcast.

Amanda 2:15

But we we like that you care about us and that you want us to stay together, so thanks.

Josh 2:19

Yeah, thank you. Um, but there's big stress in the house right now. It's it's now back to school time. So we've got uh Muffy going back to college and and moving back there, and then Winthrop, of course, going back to school as well. And it's just it's a lot going on, and in addition to that, yeah I'm discovering what it means to have ADHD and and changing lots of things about myself. Um I want to grow a I don't know what it's called, but I think that part of my problem is that I've not been having the proper hairstyle. Oh, yeah, yeah, no.

Amanda 2:55

You have no hair, right?

Josh 2:57

And that's the problem. I think that really what I need, so in case you've never seen me, I'm I'm bald. I shaved my head, but I'm bald on top. But I really think that I need to grow the back out.

Amanda 3:07

And then comb it forward.

Josh 3:09

No, no, not comb it forward, absolutely not. Um what?

Amanda 3:13

So no Jimmy Neutron had that big poof on his the front of his head.

Josh 3:17

Yeah, but that's not because he was balding.

Amanda 3:19

No, but I'm saying that's what it would look like if you grew it long and then did it forward.

Josh 3:22

No, I want I want to have it long down the back. No, God and then I could gather into a ponytail. Or like, what would a man bun look like?

Amanda 3:30

If you had nothing on the top.

Josh 3:32

Does anybody do that? I don't know, but maybe that's the thing. So I think that that that's one of the that's gonna be part of the great unmasking is that I now grow my hair out so that I've got it going. You know, the a uh mullet is you know, yes, short in the front, long in the back. Right, right. So nothing in the front and long in the back. What's that?

Amanda 3:53

I it that's that a bullet. I almost said like that's maybe grounds for me leaving, but I don't want to wear a Jeff again. I was just kidding.

Josh 4:01

That would be a big snail.

Amanda 4:02

Um, but can we at what point do I get like a say in some of these unmaskings? Um I don't want the bullet.

Josh 4:11

Here is what say you had. I am not allowed to have a mustache. That is your say.

Amanda 4:16

That has nothing to do with unmasking them.

Josh 4:19

It has nothing to do with that.

Amanda 4:19

You're trying to say that the call the the man bun bullet or whatever this thing is is unmasking. And I that is no, the I just don't like mustaches.

Josh 4:31

So, those of you who don't understand this idea of unmasking as it relates to ADHD, those who have ADHD often have to pretend like they don't.

Amanda 4:42

I mean, that's that's well, I mean, I think it's

Back To School Stress And Hair Schemes

Amanda 4:45

yeah, it's your coping mechanisms that you've developed for you know over decades, I almost said centuries, legit without like meaning it. Decades of just trying to get by in a world where you did not understand why your brain was working differently.

Josh 4:58

Right. And so sometimes that means pretending like you did understand, you know, because one of the things that that I have is is rejection sensitivity, dysphoria, I think it's called, but it's the idea that like everyone's always mad at me, yeah. Yeah, and I that's not the dictionary definition of that, but I also kind of have that. Every everyone's always mad at me, I'm always disappointing people. And who wants to feel that way? Who wants to live that way? And so as a result, you you develop these masks of oh, you know, I it's okay, I can figure it out, I can do it. I don't need help. I'm this, I'm that, I'm not weird, I'm not, you know, a freak or whatever. Yeah, that's what masking is, and so part of this process is me throwing some of that stuff away, which at work is is me saying to people, instead of just them coming to my office and and interrupting what I'm doing and and whatever, me saying, No, can you please I need to draw a boundary line. Can you please let me finish what I'm doing, or else I'm never gonna finish it. You know, I'll talk to you for 10 minutes and forget what I was doing here. Stuff like that.

Amanda 5:59

Have they been handling it okay?

Josh 6:01

Well, yeah, and I've explained it to them. Now I'm talking about the people I work with, not necessarily the quote unquote customers. I really can't do that with them. It's not their fault I am the way I am, but with my co-workers, I absolutely can. So that's a thing that's happening.

Amanda 6:17

That's good. Now I'm thinking about the people that I interrupt during the day, and maybe I shouldn't do it. I work with somebody who so we work in a cubicle situation. I do have an uh an office now, but we all have cubicles, and I work with somebody who got a doorbell for their cubicle, but it it it lights up so that if they're facing their computer and they're they're typing, if there's a little button that if you need them, you push that and it lights up, and then they know somebody's behind them and they can turn around, but it also makes a noise, but they've disabled that part.

Josh 6:50

I don't understand how that's helpful.

Amanda 6:52

Because a lot of times you have your headphones on.

Josh 6:55

Is it less startling?

Amanda 6:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you have your headphones on and somebody's trying to get your attention and they're knocking, you don't hear. Or if somebody walks up behind you and goes, hey, and then you jump like 10 feet. So yeah.

Josh 7:06

I would just have a hat, and if I were in that position, on the back of the hat would be either a a stop sign or a go light. A stop sign is leave me alone, don't interrupt me. And then go is obviously you can enter. Then the yellow, which would be interrupt me, but on your own your own peril. But to your own peril, you don't know what's going to happen. It's a toss-up.

Amanda 7:29

But there's also people in my office uh the in cubicles that have little rear view mirrors in front of them so they can see when people walk up behind them.

Josh 7:37

I do not agree with this whole idea of people working in cubes like all in a giant room. I don't know how anyone would get anything done.

Amanda 7:46

Well, we have the low-level white noise, haven't you heard it? We have white noise pumped throughout.

Josh 7:50

Yeah, would absolutely drive me crazy.

Amanda 7:52

Yeah, yeah.

Josh 7:53

No, I would not do that.

Amanda 7:54

Anyway, um, yeah, I don't, I don't have the but what I have done now that I have an office and I I mean it's a tiny, it's a cubicle with a door, basically.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Yeah.

Amanda 8:03

Um, I have now my um aromatic, like uh what's that called? Uh not a vaporizer, but what's that thing called? You know, you put the essential oil in it, it has water and diffuser, that's the word I'm looking for. Thank you. That was perimenopause in action friends. I I brought a diffuser and I have my cinnamon uh oil and I've made it smell like Halloween and fall in my office. And but I have to keep my door shut because I I can't I don't want to, you know, put that out into the whole office because that could be objectionable to some people.

SPEAKER_04 8:33

Wouldn't it get in the the air conditioning system anyway?

Amanda 8:36

Uh nobody's complaining yet. I've been doing it for like three weeks now. Um, but I walked into my walked into my office today and was like, why does it smell like Michaels in here? Like that was the first, like, it's you know, anyway, but it it entertained me. There you go. Office culture. It's it's a weird place to be post-COVID.

Josh 8:54

So speaking of all working in a room, uh, Winthrop is returning to school. This is actually the first day of his second week, and this is how I know yet again that he's turning into a teenager. I asked him how his first week was, and he said it w it was mid.

Amanda 9:13

I know, I know he told me something was mid too.

Josh 9:16

I'm I'm not ready. I'm not ready for him to be teen teenager.

Amanda 9:20

But he's it he's getting closer to it, at least the tweens, because he's sleeping much later on the weekends, which is the thing that this child historically has always been an early riser. Yeah, like always, like Muffy always been a late sleeper, even when she was like five. I'd have to wake her up on Christmas morning. She'd just keep sleeping. But he has always been an early riser, and he slept till like 7:30 yesterday, which was just so surprising to me.

Josh 9:42

Well, his brother is a late, late sleeper, Andrew. Yeah.

Amanda 9:46

Were you a late sleeper in your teens?

Josh 9:49

Was I a late sleeper? I think I was, and then I reached some point in my adulthood

ADHD Masking And Work Boundaries

Josh 9:55

where I couldn't sleep in. Yeah.

Amanda 9:57

In your adulthood, but like your teen teen dumb is like.

Josh 9:59

No, no, teen teens. I was like that. But I do not like that that now I really can't sleep in to the degree that I wish I could.

Amanda 10:07

I think the latest that I can sleep in now is 10.

Josh 10:12

I don't think that that I think you're forgetting a lot of Saturdays. Your Saturday and Sunday are your like do not be like, you think that I sleep that I've slept past 10?

Amanda 10:21

Because I don't think so. Yeah, no, usually I wake up around 9 or 9.30. No. No way. Or I just don't come down here.

Josh 10:27

You would sleep until one if if like the the family, because what usually happens is that one of the children ends up coming in because they cannot just let you sleep.

Amanda 10:38

No, they can't live without me.

Josh 10:40

No, they can't. Um, so no, yeah, absolutely you would sleep longer than that.

Amanda 10:46

The dog bit me today.

Josh 10:48

Okay.

Amanda 10:48

I was just thinking about who actually bothers me more in the middle of the night, and it's actually now in the middle of the night. It's actually the dog. He wakes me up to either seriously.

Josh 10:58

I don't know what it is in the development of dogs, but he has gone from puppy to regular dog to now just old human man. He was snoring last night so loud that that things were rattling. And I mean like dishes.

Amanda 11:16

Downstairs.

Josh 11:17

Yes.

Amanda 11:18

Well, he'll wake me up to put his blanket on him, or he'll want me to let him out of the bedroom so he can go to Muffy's room, and then he wants me to let him back in once he goes, you know, once he goes comes back from Muffy's room. Um, but last night was one of the rare nights that I fell asleep before you. Usually we'll put something on and you immediately go to sleep, and I'm awake. I fell asleep before you, and I you I have a feeling that you got up and you were fussing at him, but I don't know what you were fussing at him about.

Josh 11:43

Because he was standing next to your bed whining at you, and I had to get up, lead him to his little bed, and cover him with his blankets.

Amanda 11:52

Yes, that's what he wants. That's what he wants. But this morning, so he's a Jack. She looks mostly Jack Russell, but his dad was a Chihuahua, and so he, every once in a while, the Chihuahua comes out, and this morning the Chihuahua came out, and I am now bruised and lacerated on my knuckles because I was leaving with Muffy. We were leaving the house, and I don't we don't like to leave him upstairs because upstairs is carpeted. I don't want that, so he's got to come downstairs. And he he doesn't have accidents, but every once in a while he'll throw up because he's eaten something outside. So we're not doing that. And normally all I have to do is say, Okay, goodbye, Wilson, and shut the bedroom door and then open it back up, and he jumps down and comes with me. He's sitting in his little armchair. Well, this morning I did that, opened the door, and he was just still looking at me like, no, I'm not moving. So I walked over to him and just went to put my hand behind him to guide him off the chair, and he went full, like the reels you see of Tawa was like like the teeth bearing and everything, and just whipped his head around right as my hand passed him and he lacerated my my what's that called? It's like, is that a knuckle? That's a knuckle, it's further down though. It's not the knuckles that you pop, it's further down, anyway, and it's all bruised, and I'm angry at him.

Josh 13:10

He's unmasking as well, right?

Amanda 13:12

And I told him today I don't I don't charge him anything, I pay for everything, I take care of him, I do all the things, and this is how he has rewarded me.

Josh 13:23

You bathe him. I do. This dog is basically in assisted living.

Amanda 13:26

Yes, it has been his whole life.

Josh 13:31

It's very expensive, assisted living. I just want you to know that we are losing a lot of money here. Um, but if he is um unmasking from ADHD, here's some things that I'm doing to actually last couple weeks as I've been dealing with this. Yes, part of dropping some of the facade means that my um symptoms or the the manifestations of ADHD are are actually more prevalent, I think, than they've ever been. Yeah. Because I'm just relaxing a little bit. But protein in the morning, yes, so free. Now, you may say to yourself, well, duh, of course, but I had been convinced at one point, because I don't know, I'm an idiot, that it would be okay if I didn't eat breakfast.

Amanda 14:19

You were skipping breakfast and lunch and just having dinner, right?

Josh 14:21

Right, which it's the whole thing with intermittent fasting, right? Um, which I you know, whatever. I I lost weight intermittent fasting. That's a thing that happened. I'm not really losing weight right now. But the problem is that ADHD brains need that fuel, need that energy just to go in the morning. And so for freaking, I don't know, a decade maybe I was just not eating breakfast. Yeah. Well, no wonder I, you know, it was so difficult for me just to survive, you know, or or be a functioning, not survive, that's a little dramatic, because here I am, but be a functioning member of society. So three to four eggs in the morning, bam, it's magic. And like I'm not really hungry for the rest of the day. Um, now again, those of you listening to this or who are saying, Josh, you're such an idiot. I didn't know. I didn't know, and now I know. So protein in the morning, walking first thing in the morning, and not for very long, 10 to 15 minutes of walking around in the dark um has I just pictured wandering the neighborhood like somebody's gonna return you at some point. Or like doing circles, just I'm I'm in the grass, just doing a small wearing a whole a circle into the thing. Um, no, and then sun getting sunlight on my face uh as soon as possible, as soon as I can. Now, this is gonna be more difficult as it gets darker in the morning, but very important thing. And then during my work day, I do not touch social media anymore. That's good at all. Yeah, at all. Which is like I would take breaks and I'd go to the bathroom, or I would on my lunch hour, I'd be scrolling. Um, many reasons why this isn't good

Office Life Perimenopause And Diffusers

Josh 16:05

for me. You know, both the fact that you're getting that that those quick dopamine hits that, like I said, that you get addicted to, but also like I don't necessarily would know what's happening in the news right now.

Amanda 16:18

That's not even good.

Josh 16:19

That but that ain't a bad thing though. Cause like what can I do about it?

Amanda 16:22

You don't need to know.

Josh 16:23

Now, are you doing the same? Are you staying away from from social media and the news? Because you really should.

Amanda 16:30

Yeah, no, I mean I took the New York Times, I kept New York to New York Times cooking on my phone, but I took I just took the New York Times off. Um I do still consume the news from Aaron Parness on Instagram, but I don't I I mean I will pick up my phone if I'm picking a little break or whatever, and mostly just go look and check on the creators that I watch, which are all or follow the which are all dog based. Um, and I might see his thing, but I don't really engage with it. Um, and I and I have not been picking up my phone. You know how for like for forever I was just playing a game on my phone at night while we were watching TV? I've not been picking my phone up at night.

Josh 17:11

Yeah, no, that's very good. Um, you know what though, I've not been really on social media that much, and I still like the news still comes to me. Like, I still understand what's going on in the world. Also, I don't look at my phone in the morning except to see what time it is. Probably until I'm at work, if I think about it, because I don't look at it anymore to turn music on because we've got uh an Amazon device in the bathroom when I'm showering, I just turn that on. Um, and I actually try not to look at the clock while I'm getting ready anymore.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

So that's nice.

Josh 17:47

Because I get up early enough and I know that I have enough time. So usually what I'll do is I will get up, get dressed, come downstairs, take my walk, come back, cook my food, and I see the the clock on the on the oven, right? And I'll see that and I'll go upstairs, take my shower. But I know that I've got enough time to do these things, so I'm not watching the clock, and that is a wonderful thing. And then the other thing that I've done, one of the things that really manifests as far as ADHD is not being able to start things. That's like a huge block, and I don't know why it is, it's just a thing, it's a manifestation of ADHD. It's very difficult to start things, it's just because whatever the thing is seems like it's too huge.

Amanda 18:30

The impossible task.

Josh 18:31

The impossible task. And so that's what it's called with depression, too. Right. So you get like I get concerned or scared, or there's fear or it just feels overwhelming. You know how we have as human beings, we have fear responses, right? Or stress responses. Do you know what they are?

Amanda 18:46

Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Or fawn, yes.

Josh 18:49

Fight, flight, freeze, and then fawn is like people pleasing or whatever. Yeah. Um, my thing is usually freeze. This might sound silly, but this is what I do now. When I when I'm coming up against something that stresses me out, that I'm like, oh, I can't deal with this, I can't handle this. I think, well, my reaction is to freeze, so I just say to myself, fight. Oh you need to fight. Yeah, you need to fight, and it's working. Nice. I get that energy, and I'm like, yeah, no, fuck this. I do need to fight. I'm not gonna let this stop me. I need to fight through this, and it's been great.

Amanda 19:26

I do notice that the garage is a lot cleaner, yeah.

Josh 19:29

Garage and all the little things around the house that you um, you know, closets and and all this and that. It in total all these little things that I'm doing, yeah. You know, I feel great. And it's funny because I had recommended to me by an ADHD expert this notebook of of how to do tasks when you are frozen, you know. I haven't needed it.

Amanda 19:54

So you've haven't engaged with the planner at all?

Josh 19:56

I haven't needed it. I haven't need to do it. It's it's one of these books where use it as needed, right? It's not meant to be read all the way through. It's got different chapters, like what to do if this or if that, or if this is the reason why you can't get going, do this or that. I haven't needed to use it. Now, I'm not gonna say that I won't ever need to use it because that's one of the things with ADHD, unfortunately, is things work until they don't work.

Amanda 20:20

Yeah, I think that's just kind of humanity. It's like deodorants.

Josh 20:23

Uh oh. What?

Amanda 20:25

Like, you know, your deodorant will work for you for a while and then it just stops, and you're gonna get a new one.

Josh 20:29

No, that that is true. That is true. So, anyway, I'm not selling anything here, folks. Um, and I'm not saying that the things that I'm doing will work for you, but I'm doing stuff and it's

Tween Energy Sleep And The Dog Bite

Josh 20:40

working.

Amanda 20:40

Well, I'm really I'm so glad to hear it, and I do notice a difference in you.

Josh 20:44

And then the other thing is I'm really trying to resist the urge to start new things because that's the other compulsion that I get, you know. People with ADHD, they're turned on by novelty, by things that are unique. And so, oh, I'm gonna start this project and it's gonna be great. I'm gonna start that project's gonna be, I'm gonna write a bunch of songs and do an album. I'm gonna publish a book of poetry, I'm gonna do this and that. This is what I do, right? And now, and I'm talking within the last couple days as I've really been thinking about it, and also because that big fight that we had. Um don't scare Jeff. We we had a big fight.

Amanda 21:23

I'll let you talk about I'm not talking about our big fight.

Josh 21:25

Um, no, we had a big fight because I was sitting and I was Oh my god, you're talking about our big fight. Well, of course. This is what we do, right? No, no, because things are fine. I was sitting and I had said that I'm going to um I'm gonna work on this book of poetry, right? And then you came in and you had wanted to talk to me about um this thing that you saw that you thought that I would be into, and I got upset because I was doing something and I was focused on it, and I was concerned that if I stopped doing it, that I would lose my. My focus, right? And so I responded in a way to you that wasn't probably the best. And then we had I'm sitting here, don't mm me, I'm sitting here telling all the folks that I was wrong.

Amanda 22:12

I know, but I'm saying no, I'm saying now I was disagreeing with you. No, it wasn't, but yeah.

Josh 22:18

So we eventually got through the argument phase, and then we got to the to the debriefing phase. And basically what I realized was I, you know, I expend a lot of energy at work, right? And I expend some energy on this podcast.

Amanda 22:41

Yes.

Josh 22:42

And my other energy that I have, which is in precious supply, I should be available for my family, not starting a new hobby every two seconds. And so last couple of days I've really been thinking about that. And I need to rein that in. Whenever I get a compulsion to do, oh, I need to do this or I need to do that. Really, I gotta just stop and think.

Amanda 23:05

But does that make make us wrong for being the reason why you're limiting your passions?

Josh 23:12

No, because my passions are limitless, but my available resources, not limitless. Yeah. And so I really need to be extremely careful of what I give my energy to. And my family is the most important thing to me. And so that should not get the dregs or nothing at all. So if you come in and you want to talk to me about something that you think is important, then I need to allow you time to do that. Give you time to do that that you deserve. So that's the other thing. That's the other thing that that I realized and that I'm working on.

Amanda 23:50

Thank you. I love you.

Josh 23:53

I love you too. So we're fine, Jeff. Don't worry about it.

Amanda 23:59

So I mean, I just I appreciate that you are trying really hard to deal with something that is incredibly difficult and it's gonna be growing edges for us. And so I appreciate you. That's all I wanted to say. I also want to go back and talk about the Amazon device for a second because I'm in a fight with her.

Josh 24:19

Why? What happened?

Amanda 24:20

Because she doesn't listen to me.

Josh 24:21

Okay, go I want to remind you that there's no real person uh behind that device, so you do not need to gender them, but go ahead.

Amanda 24:29

Well, they've they're female presenting, let's just say this. Um I have been in my 90s country kick, and so you know when I get like reflective or like whatever, I go on on a 90. I don't I was raised on country, but I don't listen to contemporary country, but I will go through a 90s country kick, and I have been asking her to play this song that I really like, which is called Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn. Sure, and she keeps playing Boot Scoot and Boogie, and that's not what I asked for. Now, Brooks and Dunn also wrote Boots Goot and Boogie, but every time I say her name, their name, and then say play neon moon by Brooks and Dunn, this thing says, Here's Boots, Scoot, and Boogie by Brooks and Dunn. No, that's not what I asked you. So then I tell her to stop and then I try again. Finally, she said, It looks like we're having a neon moon problem.

Josh 25:26

Wow, with the attitude.

Amanda 25:28

I was like, We are, because you're not listening.

Josh 25:31

Can I make a suggestion?

Amanda 25:32

Yes.

Josh 25:34

Sometimes when I have a problem getting the machine to play what it is I want it to play, I say, Hey, you you think that's not a human being, but that we've given a name that's a human name. Please play this song on Apple Music. And more often than not, if you specify the streaming service, it will play it. No questions asked.

Amanda 25:58

All right, I'm gonna try that because this is not like, and this isn't just this happened once. This has happened over the past three days. All right. She and I have had this argument.

Josh 26:07

There's one in this room. Go ahead.

Amanda 26:08

This is why we've not been saying its name. Alexa. Play Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn on Apple Music. I don't know what that is, but that's not Neon Moon.

Josh 26:26

Oh, I was wrong. Sounds like a song by Carmen the Frog.

Amanda 26:31

Alexa's not.

Josh 26:34

Okay, so now specify Amazon Music and see if that works.

Amanda 26:39

Alexa, play Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn on Amazon Music. Yes, that's it.

Josh 26:52

Bam. Fixed it.

Amanda 26:53

Thank you. Thanks, Alexa.

Josh 26:55

Alexa, stop with that rubbish.

Amanda 26:58

I love it.

Morning Routines And Quitting Social Media

Amanda 27:20

All right, that music is uh by AJCW. That means it is time for game time, our son Andrew. And it is my favorite song of the quiz, except for the intro song by our friend Ricky. I almost said Ricky Martin. What is wrong with me? Ricky Kendall. Okay, anyway, it's time to play a quiz.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

Okay.

Amanda 27:39

So we've been doing a lot of pub quiz watching at night, right?

SPEAKER_04 27:43

Yeah.

Amanda 27:44

We've been watching the big fat quiz of everything. Yeah. Um, I don't have that. The quiz I have is this quiz will make you pee yourself.

Josh 27:51

Now, is it saying that it will physically cause me to pee? Yes. Or is it saying that it's so funny that it will physically make you pee. Alright. So this is what I'm gonna do because we're gonna do how long is this quiz?

Amanda 28:04

Um 12 questions.

Josh 28:10

Okay. I've just taken a big sip of a drink. Yes. Because I'm so confident that this quiz will not make me pee, but I load it up, baby. So bring it.

Amanda 28:20

Okay, so I wasn't trying to find a quiz to make you pee. What I was searching for was a quiz that will piss off my husband. Instead, it said this quiz will make you pee. And there's apparently multiple versions of this is a thing. So it says this quiz will make you pee. Do you have the guts to take this quiz? This quiz will only make you get up three to four times and you don't have to do any exercises.

Josh 28:43

Oh no, the no, then this is not a quiz, then. If it has me getting up, then this is this is movement. This no.

Amanda 28:50

When I played this quiz, when I played this quiz myself, it says I peed. You will at least leak if you don't pee. If you don't pee, then congratulations, you officially have a bladder of steel. I would like to invite the audience to play along at home.

Josh 29:04

But but again, not a quiz, but go ahead. This just do it.

Amanda 29:08

First question: how much do you have to pee between one and ten?

Josh 29:12

One.

Amanda 29:13

Okay. One is you don't need to go, you feel a little bit of pee. Right. That's between one and this is for the audience that's playing along.

Josh 29:20

I think that we understood that one is three.

Amanda 29:21

So between one and three, four to seven is you need to go, and eight to ten is you need to go very bad. All right, so you're a one. All right. Now push on your bladder with your hands for ten seconds.

Josh 29:31

Again, not a quiz. All right. Do I have to push on my bladder for 10 seconds as I'm standing or seeing it?

Amanda 29:38

And then stop. No, just sitting, and then stop and relax all your muscles, but don't pee. One, two, three. You look so annoyed. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Now relax your muscles. Did you pee a little?

Josh 29:54

No.

Amanda 29:54

Okay.

Josh 29:55

Is that it? Is that it? I should have put money on this. Go ahead.

Amanda 29:58

Okay. Uh I so you have to say, what's this supposed to do? I feel the pressure, but didn't pee. I have to go, but didn't pee, or I peed.

Josh 30:06

Uh uh, what's this supposed to do? Okay. But I don't want to know. Don't tell me.

Amanda 30:09

If you haven't peed yet, go drink two cups of water, then come back after.

Josh 30:14

Bullshit.

Amanda 30:17

All right. So we're gonna do okay.

Josh 30:18

I'm gonna finish this can of of this drink here. So hang on.

Amanda 30:24

All right, so then your qu your choices here are okay, it did nothing. How do you expect me to do that? This slightly made my need worse. I feel a little tingle. This made my need increase greatly.

Josh 30:35

I don't have to pee, friend.

Amanda 30:37

Okay, it did nothing. All right. You're number four. You are in the park and you need to pee, but the bathrooms are under repair and all the porta potties are being used. What do you do? Do you pee in a cup from the trash? No. Do you pee in the trash?

Josh 30:51

No.

Amanda 30:52

Do you pee behind a bush? Do you pee where you are? Do you pee your pants? Or do you pee on a bench?

Josh 30:58

Uh I don't. I go find, I go find.

Amanda 31:01

Okay, well, there's not that's not an option, so we're gonna see you pee behind a bush because I've seen you pee outside before.

Josh 31:06

Yes, I've peed outside before. And I've peed in a trash can before. I've told this story where I s the only time I remember sleepwalking is me waking up in the kitchen peeing into a paper bag that was there for recycling.

Amanda 31:20

Lay on your back and relax all your muscles, but don't pee.

Josh 31:24

Hang on.

Amanda 31:32

Alright, what happened? Okay, that's not one of the choices. I st I still don't have to pee. I felt the pee moving. I peed for a little bit, but stopped. I couldn't stop. Still don't have to pee. Alright, number six. Grab a towel if you need to pee, even the smallest bit. Take your bottoms off so you don't let them unless you want to. Allow yourself to pee for three seconds, then stop.

Josh 31:57

Wait, what? I don't know.

Amanda 31:58

They want you to try to pee now.

Josh 32:00

This is stupid. This is stupid. I'm not gonna try to pee.

Amanda 32:04

Okay, so then I can't pee is your answer.

Josh 32:06

I can't pee. How many more? What number are we on? Because God, this is an amazing waste of time.

Amanda 32:13

Get another cup of water.

Josh 32:14

If someone is still listening to this, turn it off. It's not gonna get any better. Go ahead.

Amanda 32:18

Get another cup of water this is so stupid. Get another cup of water and wait 10 to 20 minutes to come back. And when you do come back, push on your bladder again and with your hands, but don't pee. Okay, we're not gonna do that. I still don't have to. All right. How much do you have to pee now? Between one and ten?

Josh 32:37

Zero.

Amanda 32:38

Okay. Sit on the toilet with your bottoms down like you're going to pee, but don't pee.

Josh 32:43

Okay. We're done. We're done.

Amanda 32:46

Did you pee during this quiz? Is number 10.

Josh 32:48

No.

Amanda 32:49

This is only for the people who still need to pee. Take your towel and release all of your pee into it.

Josh 32:54

No.

Amanda 32:54

This is only for the people too. Where did you take your towel? I don't know.

Josh 32:57

My pee towel right now is in the wash. I don't have it available to me.

Amanda 33:05

No. What enkanto character are you?

Josh 33:08

You know what in contour character I'm not? What? Incontinent.

Amanda 33:12

So anyway, I was looking for a quiz to annoy you. I found one. Why is this a quiz? And there's multiple of these.

Josh 33:22

I profusely apologize for the thing. To our audience, if we have one left, I genuinely don't know. This may be the last time we podcast because I don't know what just happened. If if the the idea was find a quiz to piss off your husband, it worked. Yeah. Because that was ridiculous.

Amanda 33:44

You're welcome.

Josh 33:45

Okay. Thanks. Bye now.

Amanda 33:47

I offered you flashbacks and you said no.

Josh 33:50

Now, write in. Listeners, write in if during that at any time you peed. Because maybe it did work. Someone out there. It is time to read some emails. If you would like to email us familiarwilsons at gmail.com. We love it when you all get in touch. This is, of course, Refined Gay Thoughts from Refined Gay Jeff. And Jeff says this, hi Wilsons. I seriously couldn't wait to send some thoughts this week because I needed to tell you that I love all of you so much. My deepest wish is for things to even out and not be so much all the damn time. You bring me joy each week, and my life is better because of both of you. Thank you, Jeff. Jeff talks about zoos. I talked about how I don't like zoos um last week, how I came to this realization. And he 1000% agrees with

Focus Fights Energy Limits And Repair

Josh 35:05

me concerning zoos. He talks about how when he was younger, zoos were a place of wonder to see and learn about animals from all over the world. But in my enlightened adulthood, I quickly realized that they really are not needed at all if you just want to see the animals, especially with today's technology to create them animatronically or digitally. That's what I was saying. I think probably the best zoo I've ever been to is the San Diego Zoo, and that's only because they have a program that is animal-centric for breeding, rehabilitation, education, wildlife conservation, and vet science. To witness these glorious creatures in confined spaces with broken spirits is just too much for his heart to bear. See, this is what I'm saying. I agree. Um, he says, I've never been to Animal Kingdom, so I can't speak to that, but it's encouraging to hear what you describe. Amanda, he says, I read this somewhere once that when you become an adult, you have to decide what you're going to eat daily for every single meal, and it will continue every day for the rest of your life. And that just hit hard.

Amanda 36:08

I don't like it, Jeff.

Josh 36:09

It's so funny because my first time that I realized the joy of being an adult is when I realized that if I wanted to, I could have pie for dinner.

Amanda 36:19

Yeah, but at some point your body's like, we don't do this anymore.

Josh 36:22

No, no, no. I understand that. And I'm past that now, because now I'm also dealing, which is kind of what this conversation was last week, dealing with the decision fatigue of what the hell am I going to eat today? Or or for this meal. But I do remember for me, that was like, wait, I'm an adult. I can have, you know, a big bowl of pasta with nothing but cheese in it.

Amanda 36:45

I've seen you eat that meal.

Josh 36:46

Well, not anymore, but yeah, that that was a thing. He says, Oh, he also says, Josh, that pre-prepared meal you're talking about has been done before. It's called Soylent Green, and it didn't end very well. But you found some pre-prepared meal. Yeah, what was it called? I can't remember. I showed you the commercial. I don't want to advertise them, but it is basically it's microwaveable meals, though. And of course the ads make them look amazing, and I'm here to tell you that that ain't so. What I want is what I want is a personal chef. I realize that that's what it is that I want. Okay. A personal chef that that gives us maybe two options and then go does all the shopping and then just delivers it up on us. Because I don't want to get a bunch of microwave meals because that's not as healthy as fresh food. So I don't want that. Anyway.

Amanda 37:38

Which one of the children can we train?

Josh 37:41

Um, well, Daniel's actually uh turning into a good coach. He is.

Amanda 37:45

Yes, he is. Muffy is a great baker, but that that's treat. That's treat-based.

Josh 37:50

So he continues on to you. I'm glad you're able to go to the keys. It's one of my domestic bucket list items. I can't believe that as a gay man, I've never been to Key West. I can't believe that either.

Amanda 38:01

I can't believe that. I can't believe that I'm a native Floridian and I've never been to the Keys.

Josh 38:04

Except now you have, because I took you.

Amanda 38:06

Because I have been to Albi in Key Largo.

Josh 38:08

That really needs to be remedied. ASAP, while I still have the mental and physical capacity to enjoy festive fit men walking around in Speedos or less, because I do believe that they have some sort of naked festival around there for a week as well.

Amanda 38:22

Jeff, let's meet in the keys.

Josh 38:24

So you can go to the naked festival with him?

Amanda 38:27

It's all gay men. It's the safest place for me to be.

Josh 38:31

He goes on. He says, in your discussion of children's museums, I was reminded of my time in the classroom when I taught sixth grade for 10 years before moving to the library. We used to take our middle school classes to this really cool children's museum in Charlotte NC called Discovery Place. Charlotte was about two and a half miles away from my school in South Carolina, and it used to kind of be really super cool. I have no idea if it's still around, but for teachers, it was a great extension of our classroom. That's cool. I mean, I get that, but to me, children's museums are just noisy places.

Amanda 39:10

So are classrooms.

Josh 39:12

And very few of them have different content from each other. They all feel like they all shop at the same store to get all the exhibits.

Amanda 39:22

I thought the one in Miami was great because it had a Publix, which now the one in Lakeland where I'm from has a Publix and the Kids Museum because Publix was was founded in Lakeland. But as a it had like the carnival cruise line where they could see what it takes to wear on a cruise ship, and then also like they were loading like cargo ships and stuff. Like this one was very cool.

Josh 39:42

Yeah, it was it was fine. He goes on, he says, with your discussion of Finnish early education, meaning Finland, not Finnish like you need to be done now. I need to tell you that according to the World Happiness Report, Finland has been classified as the happiest country in the world for the past nine consecutive years.

Amanda 40:01

It's true. We knew this, and they don't start school formally until they're seven. So maybe we should all try this and just go play for a while.

Josh 40:09

See, my

Alexa Won’t Play The Right Song

Josh 40:10

understanding of that report was a little different though. Because I feel like I saw a thing where people from Finland were interviewed about that, and it's not that they are the happiest, it's just that they're the most content.

Amanda 40:25

Yeah, but I mean it's not like that's the only thing we can ask for.

Josh 40:28

Yeah, I guess so. But to me, happy can be like, oh, I'm so happy. And content is like almost like a fuck it attitude. It's like, okay, well, that's apathy. No, but not just that. It's just like, uh, okay, this this'll be fine. To me, that's what content is. This is fine, as opposed to happiness. I feel like the Finns look askance on this this thing that everyone tells them that we're uh on the top of the world happiness report.

Amanda 40:55

If you're finished and you're listening to us, please let us know.

Josh 40:58

We have no listeners in Finland. They don't they don't they're not looking for new entertainment, they're they're just fine with what they have. It says the index relies on life evaluations of six variables: social support during times of need, gross domestic product, healthy life expectancy, freedom to make life choices, generosity, and low levels of perceptions of corruption. Let's all move to Finland, he said. Now, of those six variables, none of them strikes me as something that makes me particularly overjoyed.

Amanda 41:29

To me, to me, that's just like should be the the bare baseline, but imagine right now living in a country that you know had low levels of corruption.

Josh 41:37

Yeah, I don't know. We'll see. Finland sounds like like cold Disneyland, then I don't know. Jeff continues on. I got to celebrate this week, starting my 39th year in education, but also August 13th, it was International Left Handers Day. Did you know that?

Amanda 41:53

I did not. Uh happy left handers' day and 39th year of education to all who celebrate.

Josh 41:58

They had a thing at my work where they had little activities that you could do if you were a righty doing stuff with your left hand, like signing your name or making a shopping list or drawing a picture and all this. Did you do it? Of course not.

Amanda 42:13

Okay.

Josh 42:13

Why do I want to intentionally find out something else that I'm not good at and I'm not suited for?

Amanda 42:18

Are one of one of our children left-handed? Is Andrew left-handed?

Josh 42:22

Yes, Andrew's left-handed.

Amanda 42:23

I thought so, but now parabenopause is totally messed with my brain.

Josh 42:27

Okay, let's move on. 10 to 12% of the world population is left-handed, Jeff tells us. Left-handed people have a slightly higher chance of having ADHD. Most autistic children are left-handed. They are 2.5 times more likely. Architects, lawyers, and arts music positions record the highest rates of left-handedness. Their estimates of 20% or more. I just said estimates. Estimates, not estimates. Because of structured uh analytical fields, the professions with the lowest rates include orthopedic surgery, mathematics, and oddly enough librarianship.

Amanda 43:00

Oh, but you are one though, sir.

Josh 43:02

I can understand the orthopedic surgery, but what is with it the math? Like you start counting on the wrong hand and it confuses you. Yes. You can't do that thing where you finger figure where you finger. Nope. Where you maybe you can't do that either, but where you figure out the nine times tables using your Yeah, I never knew that until you taught that to me.

Amanda 43:20

That is amazing.

Josh 43:21

That is amazing. Uh he says this. He says, I'm actively trying to friend some crows.

Amanda 43:27

I love crows, Jeff.

Josh 43:29

He says, along the windows of my library, crows assemble almost daily. Thursday had a significant number, at least ten of them. Is that a murder of crows, Jeff? That you have?

Amanda 43:39

You need to get them shiny trinkets.

Josh 43:40

No, that's what he says. He says, Did you know that crows remember faces, and if you're ever mean to them, they remember who you are and have the ability to pass on that memory to the others?

Amanda 43:50

Generally, generationally. Generationally, yes, these crows do.

Josh 43:54

Yes, that's what he says. So don't ever and I've told you this, haven't I?

Amanda 43:57

I am not mean to the crows.

Josh 43:59

No, but this is a Thing that we've already said that they are intelligent enough to hold a garage to me like that is pretty high up there in intelligence. And he says that he left them some brightly colored string tied to paper clips because they like shiny things, like you said. And I also got some seedless grapes in my fridge in the library.

Amanda 44:18

Um they take the trinkets?

Josh 44:20

Yeah. Yeah. It says they get used to you, they start bringing you gifts like pebbles, coins, and shiny things. I have one of them bring me a Mercedes. Um, so anyway, closing for now, may this week bring happiness, joy, and laughter to you guys. Is it bringing that to you, Amanda?

Amanda 44:37

Thank you, Jeff. We love you.

Josh 44:39

Are you happy? Do you have joy?

Amanda 44:42

I have the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.

Josh 44:45

All right, that's enough. If you would like to email us, familiarwilsons at gmail.com.

Closing Thanks And Write In

Josh 45:03

All right, Amina, that's all there is. There is no more. That mess was a bigger mess than usual because it's talking about my personal mess.

Amanda 45:14

Look inside your brain. It's also a Monday night. We usually record on Sunday mornings,

The Pee Quiz Meltdown

Amanda 45:20

so we've already we've already started our workday, so everything's a jumble in there.

Josh 45:25

Alright, so thanks for listening if you made it this far, and we'd particularly like to thank the following people for being the wind beneath our wings.

Amanda 45:34

Crow wings.

Josh 45:35

Something like that. Antonio, Justin, Matt, Brendan, J and K, Danny J Buckets, Leo, Monique from Germany, Terry, Abdul, Jackson, Bucky, Chicken Tom, R.I.P. Ryan Baker, Jacob, Jason, Michael O'Malley, Tasha, Kate and Tony, Mark and Rachel, and Dan and Gavin. Also like to thank Ricky Kendall and Chris Baron for some theme music they provided, and AJCW for the song that you are listening to right now. But we would especially like to thank all of our love to Muffy and Winthrop, Daniel and Andrew.

Amanda 46:17

Good job being left-handed, Andrew.

Josh 46:19

Good job being left-handed and still somehow being able to exist in the world. So, folks, until next week, drop us an email. You know, between now and then, if you have any questions about any of this bullshit that we slung upon you. FamiliarWilsons at gmail.com.

Amanda 46:38

Let us know if you peed and go be kind.

Josh 46:41

Goodbye.

Amanda 46:42

Bye.