Perhaps You Can Outrun a Cold plus Emergency ASMR

Josh has a cold and briefly becomes convinced he has discovered something about the human body that all doctors and scientists in recorded history have somehow overlooked.

Amanda brings some questionable science of her own, which leads to an attempt at communicating directly with Josh’s body. Meanwhile, the Wilson household has been rocked by a municipal change of such staggering importance that it threatens to alter the entire rhythm of the week. The neighbors are no help. They may, in fact, have a separate group chat.

Then there’s a 20 second experiment conducted in jeans, an investigation into Josh’s moral alignment that raises more questions than it answers, a gibbous moon that becomes far more important than anyone anticipated, and a dispatch from Refined Gay Jeff involving Ipswich, books, allergies, and an urgent care visit that he chooses to interpret in his own special way.

Also: lawn crews, Ring cameras, Dungeons & Dragons, seasonal allergies, getting older, British television, marriage, ADHD, and the growing suspicion that the Wilsons may be the strange people in the neighborhood.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
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Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

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Welcome Back And House Update

Amanda 0:00

Well, the thing I'm doing for my body this morning is eating an apple cider donut from Trader Joe's.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

Josh 0:07

The following podcast uses words like and and also Woo Woo. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Three, two, one.

Josh 0:17

Run.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome back to the conversation. Tell me who I'm talking to. Get on down to my dation. You want me and I am you. Amelia. I want to be familiar. Don't be stranger.

Amanda 0:56

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

Josh 0:59

And I'm Josh, and we're the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

Amanda 1:03

And side quests.

Josh 1:05

And for those of you who never make it to the end of our episodes, and I'm I'm guessing that that is some of you, that song is by Ricky Kendall, Gainesville favorite, extremely talented musician and good friend of ours, and he provides that song.

Amanda 1:22

I just actually want to listen to that song and not the podcast. I just listened to the intro. I love you.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

I'm kidding, but I really like that song. Good job, Ricky. Thank you.

Morning Walk Routine Meets A Cold

Josh 1:34

I am recording under duress right now because I have my annual fall cold.

Amanda 1:41

Oh, I know, but you've had it for so long.

Josh 1:44

That hasn't stopped me from being oot and about. In fact, for the last five weeks, I've been waking up and going on a morning walk first thing when it's been five weeks. It has been. Yeah, that's what that's my what my walking ab says. And going on a 10 to 15 minute walk around the neighborhood while it's still dark, getting myself, you know, awake and moving and stretched out and all these things. Coming straight in, having my protein-filled breakfast, then a shower, then boom, preparing myself and going out for the day. And it has been just a miraculous thing that's happened to me. You know, it's it's changed my days, it's changed my days at work, it's changed my outlook. I've loved doing it. Didn't do it day before last when I was sick. Just stayed in bed a little bit longer and then wandered to work and then had to leave.

SPEAKER_04 2:34

Wandered to work.

Josh 2:35

Then I had to leave work.

SPEAKER_04 2:36

The visual is really funny to me.

Josh 2:39

Then had to leave work early because I wasn't feeling well. Yesterday woke up and said, doggone it, Josh. Still go on your walk. So I got up and I went on my walk and was feeling all gross and snotty and messy and disgusting and all the things. And for whatever reason I said, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna run.

Amanda 3:02

I'm sorry, what?

Josh 3:03

First I started jogging for a little bit, and then I ran hard for not for very long, for maybe like twenty to thirty seconds.

Amanda 3:10

That's still a long time in my book. Was someone chasing you?

Josh 3:14

No, no, no, no, no. But a weird thing happened. My symptoms practically disappeared for a few hours.

Amanda 3:23

So like the endorphins did something to the mucus?

Josh 3:26

Here's the thing. I was like, this this must be, you know, the thing that athletes tap into, and if I keep doing this, I will just, you know, forestall my cold forever until it just kind of goes away.

Amanda 3:38

Did you run this morning?

Josh 3:39

I did not. Okay. Because I I got up later and I didn't feel like putting shoes, so I put my flip-flops on. But but I still went on my walk, which which is the successful part of the morning. But I'm like, later I'm gonna go and I'm gonna go for a run, and then again push these symptoms aside, and then it'll be great. I actually kind of wish I'd done that before this recording, because I know I sound all nasally and really gross, but but hopefully y'all can can still listen. Well, I found out that maybe that's not so good for me.

Amanda 4:09

Oh, really? I was all like, this is great, good job.

Josh 4:12

Well, what what does happen is the adrenaline and the endorphins do you know expand blood vessels and they push the symptoms aside for what could be a few hours, but that you could aggravate aggravate? Aggurvate. I can't say aggravate right now with my cold. It can it can um exacerbate. Exacerbate. No, it's not exacerbate.

Amanda 4:35

Exacerbate.

Josh 4:36

Yes, it can make worse the symptoms.

Amanda 4:38

That's right.

Josh 4:39

It could, you know, if your airways are inflamed, it could, it could make that worse. If if you've um got stuff in your lungs, it can make that worse. So turns out not a great strategy. And I thought I had solved it. I thought that I had unscrewed up having a cold.

Amanda 4:54

Oh wow. You thought you were the first person in the history of like human nature that figured this out.

Josh 4:59

No, I actually kind of thought that, oh, this is what happens with athletes, and then they don't get sick as much. Because famously Michael Jordan had his flu game where it was, I believe it was a game in the finals against the Utah Jazz, where he like absolutely felt like shit and and came out and he still scored like 50 points and the winning shot or whatever the fuck he did. I'm like, I've tapped into now what elite athletes have tapped into.

Amanda 5:26

Yes, but what we don't know is that he just then fell apart for like the next seven weeks or something.

Josh 5:30

Well, I don't know, no, because he had games after that. But the bottom line is that unfortunately, in order to be an elite athlete, it takes more than just sprinting for 20 seconds.

Talking To Your Body Out Loud

Amanda 5:40

Well, did you did you do your I am well song to your body?

Josh 5:44

Apparently that didn't work. That's that's not been working because I have a cold.

Amanda 5:48

So did you look at the thing I sent you that at Harvard Medical School, a psychoneuroimmunal immunology, I can't even say that. That's one word. Psychoneuroimmunology team ran an experiment that sounds like nonsense. They told volunteers to talk to their bodies out loud. So we've talked about this, right?

Josh 6:06

Yeah, I I know about talking to my body. Talk to my body out loud.

Amanda 6:10

On the podcast, we've talked about the, you know, your your brain belie and you say it to the kids, your brain believes what you say. Right. But this takes it a little bit further, and it's interesting. So it's saying, say things like, you're safe, you're healing, you did well today.

Josh 6:22

Right, you're saying that to your body. Yeah. Okay.

Amanda 6:24

One patient with chronic pain changed a single sentence. For the first time, she told her body thank you instead of sorry. Within days, her muscle tension had dropped by half. Gratitude had switched off her alarm system. Her doctor put it in one line. She stopped fighting her body and it stopped fighting back. The researchers gave it a name. It's called active signaling. The nervous system treats your inner speech like a voice coming from someone else in the room. So that's the difference. It's like we've talked about saying things out loud to yourself, right? But this is actually looking at the research behind even when it's an internal monologue, what your body, your body still absorbs it. So every insult lands chemically real, even the silent ones, which makes self-kindness the wrong thing to file under psychology. It belongs under neurobiology.

Josh 7:08

All right, hang on, hang on. Just let let's do this now in real time. Okay. Thank you. Well, how do I address my body? Thank you, body. Thank you, Josh's body. That sounds so impersonal.

Amanda 7:20

Thank you, my body.

Josh 7:21

Thank you, my lovely body. Oh, and I've got the perfect voice for this too. Okay, so we're gonna do this now. Now just go with me here. Some Wilson guided ASMR immunoneuro shit, whatever the fuck that is. Okay, ready?

SPEAKER_06 7:33

Yes.

Josh 7:37

Hello, body. You can't laugh. I can't laugh.

SPEAKER_04 7:41

Because it's not just the voice, it's the face you're making.

Josh 7:44

You can't laugh though. Take this seriously. This is science now. It's the first time I've done this. I'm ready.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Hello, body. Thank you so much for being well and not having a cold.

Josh 8:10

And what the fuck is the dog doing? Dog is just all of a sudden got up and why did you have the camera on?

SPEAKER_04 8:16

Because remember, remember how we're gonna start putting pictures from our episode. I have one of you caressing your breasts.

Josh 8:23

First of all, you didn't ask my permission. What? This is why I've kept the password to the socials.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

That's right, you didn't give it to me.

Josh 8:30

So you can't do that to me. I didn't know you did not have consent. And then I'm doing this. I'm trying to love my body here in front of you and the world. And the dog just starts to just sniff and bark and he's trying to get my attention and I don't know what he wants. He's probably like, you know, he doesn't want you to film him without his consent. That's what he was thinking. He's actually for once in his tiny furry little life look looking out for me, like sticking out for me. Well, anyway, the the mood is broken now. So I've I've lost the that love and mood with my body, but we we will give it a try later.

Amanda 9:02

What's this thing called?

Josh 9:03

Microphone?

Amanda 9:04

No, what's the guard thing, the spongy thing? Spit shield. I just spit on the spit shield. It was really called a spit shield.

Josh 9:11

It is, yes.

Amanda 9:11

It's funny.

Trash Day Drama And Ring Cameras

Josh 9:28

So lots of happenings here in the the Wilson household. Um, and outside of the Wilson household, too. Something I learned or had reinforced to me yet again is that the neighborhood WhatsApp chat is not up for banter.

Amanda 9:41

No, they do not appreciate that.

Josh 9:43

They do not want to hear my banter. So the big news that we got announced to us through the WhatsApp is that our trash day has changed from Mondays to Wednesdays. Now, I'm very salty about this because to me, Monday is the Rolls-Royce of trash days. It's really premium. It is perfect. You've got all of the weekend debauchery in your trash cans. Yes. Monday, you wake up. It's a natural transition day, so it's not like you're going to forget that it's trash day. You know, it's it's the beginning of the week. It's the perfect time for getting rid of the garbage. Just to be reminded that on my way out, first day back at work, I gotta put the bins out. And that's great. And the recycle too. Wednesday, I don't even know what I'm gonna do with myself. That's two extra days of the weekend trash, like, you know, ruminating, right? And building up. And it's a Wednesday.

Amanda 10:35

I don't like it.

Josh 10:36

I don't like it. I have an early meeting on Wednesday, so I'm always just a little bit more stressed on Wednesday mornings to get out get out the house on time. And now I gotta fuck around with with the bins on top of that.

Amanda 10:47

Put them out Tuesday night.

Josh 10:48

What?

Amanda 10:48

Put them out Tuesday night.

Josh 10:49

I don't want what the no. Why? Tuesday night? No.

Amanda 10:52

I mean, you also at like our driveway is like an acre long. It's about 20 feet.

Josh 10:57

So anyway, I expressed my displeasure on the WhatsApp chat, expecting them to be like, oh yeah, it's bothering me too, or whatever. And I made a cute little quip that you know crickets. That I nothing.

Amanda 11:10

Yeah, they they were not here for your for your shenanigans.

Josh 11:13

What is wrong with our neighbors?

Amanda 11:15

I don't know. Well, Tom, I think neighbor Tony left the group. I don't even think he's in it anyway. Because he would have appreciated you. Kate dropped the ball. I don't know what happened there. And the rest of them just don't have time for you.

Josh 11:26

No, they don't. Maybe they've seen me on their ring cameras every morning.

Amanda 11:31

Every morning, talking past their children.

Josh 11:33

By their house at O Dark 30. Yes. And they're like, this is the creeper guy. Because I don't know about you, but when I'm walking in the neighborhood, I'm always looking in the windows. Like not creeping up to the windows, but as I walk by, I will just look over. If there's a window open, I'm like, oh, there's so that's where they keep their little office. We, you know, that room in our house is the pub. That's their office there. Um, so I'm always kind of looking over, and I'm wondering now if they just always see, you know, they got the the ring camera view, a little rectangle of the outside world, and just me walking by with my head turned, staring at the end.

Amanda 12:09

It's probably true.

Josh 12:11

Each and every they probably have another WhatsApp chat without me.

Amanda 12:14

Without you in it, yeah.

Josh 12:15

Uh he came by again this morning.

Amanda 12:17

That's right. Have you seen so you walk the back alleys too?

Josh 12:21

Yeah, but don't make it seem like that. Okay. It's it's not like the back alleys like that.

Amanda 12:26

It's just the we have a separate draw, you know, driveway alley for because the garages are on the back of the but we have a neighbor, and you can see it back there who has had a Christmas tree up year-round.

Josh 12:37

Yeah. So?

Amanda 12:38

I mean, I'm happy for them. But then it becomes, does it start to lose its magic? This from the person who has already put all the pumpkin things out in our house.

Josh 12:47

That's right. That's right. You didn't notice I finally took the bat down, did you?

Amanda 12:51

No, where's my bat?

Josh 12:52

I don't know, but we had a bat hanging on a curtain rod, like a skeleton bat that's been up for ages.

Amanda 12:58

At least five years.

Josh 12:59

And well, I replaced it when we replaced the curtains with nicer curtains. And and it it was all of a sudden silly and didn't look right. When we started to care about how our house looked, that had to go.

Amanda 13:09

Where yeah, because we built during COVID, so like no one was coming here for a long time. Where is the bat, though? I need him for Halloween.

Josh 13:15

It doesn't matter. It does matter. Anyway, back to the the original point, which is the neighbors don't appreciate me, and something's gotta change. Either they have to go or I have to go.

Amanda 13:26

But you know, none of us can sell our houses at this point, so I'm not sure who's going.

Josh 13:31

That's true. That's true.

Amanda 13:32

The market is messy.

Josh 13:34

Although I was walking yesterday morning, the sun was out, and I was walking the neighborhood getting my steps in, and passed uh a lady, a neighbor who I'd never talked to before that that gave me a cheerful hello. Oh, that's nice. That was nice. She can stay. These other ones I don't know about.

Amanda 13:52

Do you know what house she lives in?

Josh 13:53

I don't know, but next time I go walking, I'll look through the windows a little bit more carefully. See if I recognize her now.

Amanda 13:59

There's a lady in our neighborhood who every morning goes to the gym with her target bag.

Josh 14:04

What?

Amanda 14:05

She goes with a target bag and leaves with a target bag.

Josh 14:08

That's her.

Amanda 14:09

Is that the lady who said hi to you?

Josh 14:10

Yeah, because she took her target bag to the mailbox.

Amanda 14:12

Yeah, no, she she comes out of the gym with that target bag in the mornings too. Because whenever I'm leaving around 7:30, 745 to go to work, she's coming out of the gym with her target bag.

Josh 14:20

What do you think's in that target bag?

Amanda 14:21

It's gotta be like her water bottle and her keys, right?

Josh 14:23

Or the head of her dead husband. I don't know.

Amanda 14:25

No, God. You think it would start to smell by you know?

Josh 14:28

Well, maybe it's it's mummified. There's someone who works out in the gym while I'm walking in the in the dark.

Amanda 14:34

That must be her. That's a long time in the gym, though. I don't know, but I You know who it's not? What? Me.

Josh 14:41

Yeah, no, it's not. You're not even up when I'm up doing that. At one point I was like, maybe I could go in the gym in the morning, but I can't do that now that she's always in there. You can't be the creepy guy who's gonna be. I can't be the creepy guy who comes in like after she's working out on the machine, and I just come in and it's dark. I can't be that guy.

Amanda 14:57

You can't.

Josh 14:58

Or can I?

Amanda 14:59

Well, you're already on the ring cameras, so I mean that's just additional footage for the 48-hour special.

SPEAKER_04 15:05

It's the first 48 or whatever that's called.

Josh 15:08

Oh goodness. So anyway, all that is to say our damn trash day has changed, and I'm not happy about it. It's going to change October 13th.

Amanda 15:16

But wait, is it running today or is it not running today because it's Labor Day?

Josh 15:19

It's likely

Lawn Crews, Heat, And Sprint Test

Josh 15:20

not running today, but that's that's just a holiday thing.

Amanda 15:23

Well, have you put it out just in case? Yeah.

Josh 15:27

Um, another thing that happened Saturday morning that I am not in favor of, and is these damn developers who continue to be a bane into my existence, is that their lawn service started to cut the green spaces at 7 30 on Saturday morning.

Amanda 15:44

But you were already up.

Josh 15:46

Yeah, but no one else was. That's true. I wasn't. What what is that? Why are we doing that? Why is that a thing?

Amanda 15:51

They must do something every day. I don't know. But invariably, when I work from home, it's lawn day because it makes the dog so angry. And I try to get on meetings and the dog is losing his tiny little mind because the weed whacker, the hedge trimmer, the lawnmower is out front. And I don't I don't know if they just figure out my work calendar and decide to like sync it up, or it's just they do it every day.

Josh 16:17

Well, they don't do it every day because our lawns are not that well kept.

Amanda 16:20

Maybe they just do little pieces every day, and this is how they stay employed.

Josh 16:24

Are you a part of our developers and you're listening in our neighborhood? Uh drop us a line, familiarwilsons at gmail.com. Why do you do the things you do and why do you hate us so much?

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Get it.

Josh 17:01

Alright, so I I feel really nasally and very uncomfortable. So this is what I'm gonna do. We're gonna do a little experiment. I'm gonna go run for 20 seconds outside. I'm gonna put my shoes on. I'm gonna no no no. I'm gonna run down the sidewalk for about 20 seconds, come back in.

Amanda 17:17

700 degrees outside.

Josh 17:18

Right, right, right. But it won't be long enough for me to like be stopping sweating or whatever. But I'm gonna just do that to get the blood flowing, the adrenaline flowing, and hopefully it'll clear me up for the next few minutes while we finish up recording, and it's just it'll just be a nice experiment. So you gotta tell me, because I'm not a good judge, when I come back and start talking again, if you could tell the difference.

Amanda 17:40

Okay, but also practice positive self-talk while you're out there.

Josh 17:43

Alright, I will be out there running my ass off saying, I love you, body, I love you.

Amanda 17:48

Grub your breasts while you're at it.

Josh 17:49

All right, don't say breasts.

Amanda 17:50

Well, that's what you were rubbing your chest earlier.

Josh 17:52

Yeah, they're not breasts. You don't have to I mean, uh kind of, but anyway. All right, here I go.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

I love my body. My body loves me. I am one with the universe. I feel good, I feel strong, I feel happy.

Josh 18:16

Okay. So the question is now do I sound different?

Amanda 18:23

Well, I mean, I need you to breathe first and then talk.

Josh 18:25

Well, okay. I'm I'm fifty-five years old.

Amanda 18:31

I know.

Josh 18:32

All right, so let's just uh You do sound different. Do I really?

Amanda 18:35

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't sound as nasally.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Sexier?

Amanda 18:39

No, you don't sound as nasally.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

Thank you, body.

Amanda 18:42

Okay, stop caressing yourself again.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

But thank you for carrying me.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

What do you think our neighbors think?

Josh 18:49

Huh?

SPEAKER_04 18:50

What do you think our neighbors think?

Josh 18:51

They they've given up on us. That's why they don't talk to us, because we're just the strange people who do these things.

Amanda 18:57

Just run up and down. Are you wearing jeans?

Josh 18:59

Yes.

Amanda 19:01

Okay.

Josh 19:02

Okay, so you got video of that. I was so excited for you to put these on our on our socials if you want to see what that looked like.

Amanda 19:09

Um, but let's I just sent it to the Belsons with no explanation. Did you? Yeah, just in the WhatsApp.

Josh 19:15

Brilliant. All right. We'll be back in a few seconds for for game time.

Game Time Moral Alignment Quiz

unknown 19:33

What time is it?

SPEAKER_06 19:34

Game time!

Amanda 19:42

Alright, that song means it's game time. That song is by our son, AJCW. And um, a couple weeks ago I brought Josh the pee quiz, which is not like questions about urination, but it's like this quiz will make you pee, and it made him very, very angry, but he did not pee. So I have I have a different quiz for you today, Josh.

Josh 20:03

All right. Is it actually a quiz or is it no?

Amanda 20:06

It's more like answer these questions and we'll tell you about yourself. Like the BuzzFeed quizzes I used to do.

Josh 20:11

I would like to personally apologize to our middleest son, Andrew, who is AJCW, for misusing your song for what is not gonna be a game that Amanda's doing. Likely not even gonna be fun.

Amanda 20:22

No, I think Andrew would actually really be on board with this. But I picked this quiz because so we start out by saying we're the podcasts about marriage 2.0 and side quests, right? And kids, don't forget the kids. Oh yeah, I forgot those children. And kids and and side quest. And side quest, I am assuming comes from like the gaming world. Is this where the side the idea of side quests comes from?

Josh 20:44

Yes, grandmother.

Amanda 20:45

Okay, well, so I've picked this quiz for you. These 10 questions will reveal your true moral alignment, which I assume has something to do with Dungeons and Dragons.

Josh 20:54

Go ahead.

Amanda 20:55

So it's a do you know what a moral alignment is? Yes. Well, tell us. You're like a nerdy Dungeons and Dragons guy.

Josh 21:02

Please get this over with.

Amanda 21:03

Were you allowed to play Dungeons and Dragons? Because growing up, nobody in my church was allowed to play it because it was of the devil.

Josh 21:09

Um uh yeah, I was allowed to play it, and I played it a little bit with friends. Okay. But they they didn't do it right and they turned me off to it for the.

Amanda 21:17

How do you do it wrong?

Josh 21:18

Well, because they they didn't the the guy didn't get into the storytelling bit of you kind of have to be invested in the storytelling part of it to really do it right. Okay. Instead of being just like I sneak up behind this guy who's also in my party, and I try to kill him by chopping the his head off with a sword. Well, that's not gonna that's not gonna make it.

Amanda 21:35

So you need to embellish the narrative, is that what you're saying?

Josh 21:38

You need to at least embrace it.

Amanda 21:39

Okay. So the moral alignment system stem from the game Dungeons and Dragons to designate characters' moralities and sense of ethics. There are nine moral alignments in total. Can you name them?

SPEAKER_02 21:50

No.

Amanda 21:51

Okay. Three centered around law, three centered around chaos, three centered around neutrality with one true neutral character category. Okay. Okay, each alignment is a result of a character's worldview, how they make decisions and perform certain actions. So I'm gonna give you a 10 question quiz and we're gonna find out what your moral alignment is.

Josh 22:11

So, in other words, we are gonna do something that's based in a very niche world that a very, very few people will know anything about or be interested in. Got it. It's on brand for us. It's fine. It's on brand.

Amanda 22:25

But what we're gonna find out is why you do the things that you do, why you are as you are.

Josh 22:29

I'm glad that we can solve the puzzle of me with 10 questions.

Amanda 22:32

Uh-huh. Okay. I need you to pick a classic book, but I'm gonna give you choices. You can't, right? All right, from this list, please pick a classic book. To kill a mockingbird, the great Gatsby, Pride and Prejudice, Moby Dick, Jane Eyre, The Iliad, The Outsiders, The Catcher in the Riot are great expectations.

Josh 22:49

Moby Dick.

Amanda 22:50

Okay, just because you just want to say Dick.

Josh 22:52

Yeah, it has the word dick in it. That's right. And it's the only one. I already know why you are as you are. Okay. Go ahead.

Amanda 22:57

Choose a moon phase. New moon, wax and crescent, first quarter, wax and gibbous, full moon, waning gibbous, third quarter, waning crescent, or I can't pick just one.

Josh 23:08

Um I like the word gibbous because it's like the gibbon monkey, and they're the ones who go.

SPEAKER_06 23:16

Gibbon monkey is like, ooh, ooh, that's a gibbon monkey.

Josh 23:19

You're very good at that. Yeah, I am very good at it. I used to go to the zoo in Miami and like talk to the Gibbons.

Amanda 23:25

Did they talk back to you?

Josh 23:26

They did. They did, yeah, yeah.

Amanda 23:28

They're like, look, it's just a giant one of us.

Josh 23:30

Yeah, except bald. Um, what was the question? Uh, Gibbs, one of the gibbous's waxing or waning?

Amanda 23:35

Getting bigger or getting smaller.

Josh 23:37

Well, I mean, since my favorite story is Moby Dick, then you know that it's getting bigger.

Amanda 23:41

Waxing Gibbis.

Josh 23:42

Just call me Mr. Waxing Gibbis, baby. There you go.

Amanda 23:46

Okay, can you name this oh no, that's an advertisement?

Josh 23:52

It's an ad. Very good.

Amanda 23:53

Hey, add is can you name this obsolete item and it's an ice pick? Okay. On a scale from one to nine.

Josh 23:58

If I picked ice pick, then you pretty much know what my moral alignment is.

Amanda 24:01

Right. On a scale from one to nine, how much do you agree with the classic Robin Hood story where he stole from the rich to give to the poor? One, I don't agree with it at all, or nine, I absolutely support that.

Josh 24:12

Uh eight point five.

Amanda 24:14

Okay. We're gonna round down because I can't. All right. Choose an animal that's referred to as a predator. So it's not pick out the predator from this list. These are all predators, but choose the animal that you feel the most drawn to. Okay. Shark, lion, wolf, crocodile, bear, vulture, snake, whale, tiger.

Josh 24:32

Vulture is not a predator. It doesn't.

Amanda 24:34

Oh no, it's not. No. This is wrong.

Josh 24:36

It is wrong. Read them again, but leave out vulture.

Amanda 24:39

Yeah. Shark, lion, wolf, crocodile, bear, snake, whale, tiger.

Josh 24:45

Probably a whale. It would have to be a killer whale, I guess.

Amanda 24:48

Because I'm gonna be dick.

Josh 24:49

Um this is a killer whale. Let's say whale. But see, the thing is, I like the baleen whales.

Amanda 24:54

But this is an orca.

Josh 24:55

Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I used to like I when I was a kid, I grew up, I had a whale poster on the wall. It had like like all the porpoises and the but also had the the big beautiful like humpback whale and right whale.

Amanda 25:07

I don't think those are aggressive ones.

Josh 25:08

No, they're not.

Amanda 25:08

Those are the ones float around and get the the krill.

Josh 25:11

Yeah, but those are the ones that I like.

Amanda 25:12

Well, did do which of these predators do you want?

Josh 25:15

God, this quiz doesn't matter, just that.

Amanda 25:17

It does matter. This is how we're gonna classify you.

Josh 25:19

We're not gonna classify me because I like the the sound of the word gibbous.

Amanda 25:24

Which of these areas do you tend to prioritize the most? Friendships, family, love, money, success, freedom, health and wellness, education, or passion?

Josh 25:37

Family.

SPEAKER_06 25:38

Okay.

Amanda 25:40

Pick a Greek god or goddess. Ares, Zeus, Poseidon, Artemis, Hades, Athena, Aphrodite, Hestia, Apollo.

Josh 25:49

I feel like all of the great gods were pretty terrible as characters. Yeah. So uh we're gonna go with uh Zeus, because he was the strongest one.

unknown 25:59

Okay.

Amanda 26:01

You witness someone cheating on a test in class. What would you do? You want the choices or you just want to tell me?

SPEAKER_02 26:08

Give me the choices.

Amanda 26:09

I would immediately raise my hand and tell the teacher that they're cheating. I would have been me. I would tell the teacher after class when everyone left. I would confront them about it after class. Don't do that, that's not safe. I would let it go because they're my friend. I would try to copy off of their work. I would say nothing because I'm too afraid of being a snitch. I would be the one cheating. Nothing, but I would give them a dirty look for the rest of the school year. That also might be me. Or nothing, I couldn't care less.

Josh 26:35

I would probably me now. See, me now versus me back then. Me back then, I would have been too scared to say something. Yeah. Me now, I would have talked to them and said, look, you need to turn yourself in.

Amanda 26:46

Select one of the nine noble virtues.

Josh 26:48

Gibbous.

Amanda 26:49

Gibbous is not an option. Courage, truth, honor, fidelity, discipline, hospitality, industriousness, self-reliance, perseverance.

Josh 27:00

Hospitality.

Amanda 27:01

Alright, you have a friend named Sam. Sam got a new haircut, and you don't think it looks good. On a scale from one to nine, how likely are you to lie to Sam and tell them their hair looks great when they ask? One, I would never lie, or nine, I would a hundred percent lie.

Josh 27:17

Oh no, I would make fun of Sam. Okay, so one to Sam's face.

unknown 27:22

Okay.

Josh 27:23

It depends on how good friends we are. I'm assuming we're good friends where we have that kind of relationship where we're on a first name basis. Is that what makes a friendship? So, in other words, I'm a f on a first name basis with like Raquel the barista, because I don't know her government name.

Amanda 27:38

Yes. Okay. And finally, choose a random TV character who you're drawn to the most from this list. Mabel Mora from Only Murders in the Building, Michael Scott from The Office, Penelope Featherington from Bridgerton, Luke Dunfey from Modern Family, haven't thought about him in a while. Jessica Pearson from Suits, Frank Gallagher from Shameless, Chitty, oh gosh, I can't say his name. Anna Ganyer from The Good Place. Or Carmi Brizzato from The Bear.

Josh 28:11

None of them. None of them. The least likable ones. Let me look at your phone so that we don't have to do that mess again. We're gonna say, just for just to like fucking finish this shit. Cheaty. Go ahead and hit Cheaty. From what I remember from the characters. It's been a long time since I see this show.

Amanda 28:33

You are a lawful neutral.

Josh 28:35

Okay. Go ahead.

Amanda 28:36

You follow the rules, but not for the specific purpose of doing good. Rather, you obey because you respect structure and order. The idea of being either good or evil does not motivate you. Do you feel like that is accurate?

Josh 28:48

No. What do you think?

Amanda 28:50

No, I don't think that's accurate.

Josh 28:51

Okay, well, time well spent. Thanks.

Amanda 28:54

Alright, friends, if you want to find out what your moral compass, purpose, whatever according to Dungeons and Dragons are, you can go to this quiz that was just posted yesterday. So it is a brand new quiz. These 10 questions will reveal your true moral alignment on BuzzFeed.

Josh 29:37

Send

Refined Gay Jeff, Ipswich, And Allergies

Josh 29:38

it to familiarwilsons at gmail.com. We have some refined gay thoughts from Refined Gay Jeff that reached us that very method. Are you ready, Amanda?

Amanda 29:49

I am ready.

Josh 29:50

All right, happy Labor Day weekend. Wilsons being true to my perceived spirit of Labor Day. I will not be working tomorrow, as most, if not all, teachers will be off tomorrow. So he sent this to us yesterday. Usually I would celebrate Mondays off by enjoying Sunday, Funday at the Ripcord with all of my other gay brethren and fellow homosexuals that are off as well. It's usually a large crowd with many ogling opportunities right before a Monday holiday. I unfortunately have been under the weather this weekend.

Amanda 30:20

Yeah, Jeff's been sick.

Josh 30:22

Yes. But he needs to share with us that he has a connection with Ipswich.

Amanda 30:26

I he has sent me a picture of it.

Josh 30:28

Yeah, so we wandered across this name Ipswich because it was a it's a Premier League team that we were or I was watching. And so we spent some time making fun of that name because it sounds silly. He has an article of clothing that 45 years ago his dear friend Dolly went to England after we graduated high school and she spent the summer in Ipswich. Not Dolly Parton, though.

Amanda 30:52

But why? Why Ipswich, Dolly?

Josh 30:54

She brought back to me a travel gift she purchased for me. It was a beautiful red and black Scotch tartan wool tie that is absolutely one of my faves still to this day. I wear it every now and again. It's still in pristine condition despite its age. So am I. That's my first connection to Ipswich. My second one I realized this week while starting a new book to read. I read the series A Discovery of Witches a few years ago, but am only just now starting the most recent and latest and possibly last in the series: The Blackbird Oracle by Deborah Harkness, who responded to one of my tweets one time. Nice. The setting is in Ipswich. Ipswich. I ha highly recommend this series, which is her all soul series. Another book that I finished this week that I highly recommend is The Frozen River by Ariel Lahan. Lahan.

Amanda 31:50

L-A-W-H-O-N?

Josh 31:52

Yes. Lahan. Oh, you know that?

Amanda 31:54

I had a friend named Laura Lahan, girl.

Josh 31:56

Oh, very good. Excellent novel based on the real life events of midwife Martha Ballard, who lived in Maine in the late 1700s.

Amanda 32:04

Oh, did they think she was a witch? Probably because she like healed women.

Josh 32:08

No, no, no, no, no. Uh, but she she uh kept a diary on her daily life. And Clara Barton, the founder of the Red Cross, was even related to her.

Amanda 32:18

Oh, interesting.

Josh 32:19

She was the granddaughter of Martha Ballard's sister, making Martha her great aunt. Thankfully, I am of the gayest persuasion that doesn't understand this totally made-up world of fantasy football. But being don't say thankfully. I mean, Jeff, you might get into it. Who knows? Allow yourself, you know, that that, you know, uh opportunity to be surprised. Being the evolved person that I am, it's not harming me or you or anyone else. So my blessing is given to you to continue in your happy place with no judgment on my part whatsoever.

Amanda 32:49

Oh, it's not his happy place.

Josh 32:51

No, I'm I'm again this year already, and it hasn't started yet. I'm fucking miserable. But anyway, he says a couple of days ago I started to develop a scratchy throat, and yesterday it was fully realized that I should do something about it. My first thought was, oh no, my library student worker gave me strep throat. Ooh, that's awful because she had it this week. Um, yesterday I decided to go to an urgent care facility. Um, I told Dr. Mikati of my concerns for strep, so he tested and swab for strep and COVID. Luckily, it was negative for both. I am just suffering from allergies. Dr. Mikati then gave me a prescription for some nasal spray and prescription strength allergy medications. Then I found out at lunch afterwards that Dr. Mikati and his husband have actually been at a pool party at my house. Oh, how before it was his house, though.

Amanda 33:43

Uh uh, okay.

Josh 33:44

I'm counting my urgent care visit as a successful hookup because Dr. Makati's instruments have been inside me.

unknown 33:50

Oh my God.

Amanda 33:52

Yeah. So Jeff and I texted a little bit this morning because he was saying that he does not have experiences with allergies. And Jeff, I'm really impressed with that because you've you've gotten by uh without having these allergies. I hit and this is what I told Jeff that I, when I was teaching, I would go to the doctor at least twice a year and say, I have strep. Because I got strep a lot when I was a kid, and it's awful and horrible and just really, really painful. And the doctor finally pulled out my my chart and said, Can you look at this? You're here every spring and every fall. It is not strep, you have really bad seasonal allergies. So, Jeff, this is the thing is though, Jeff, you can't stop your allergy medicine. I'm can I'm I'm confused as to what's changed in your an environment, though, that is introducing these new allergies to you.

Josh 34:40

Well, allergies can develop uh later in life. And or like me, you can have really bad allergies early in life and then most of them fade, and then you know, so it it changes, it goes back and forth. So um, so I don't know what's going on there. But I'm sorry, Jeff, I don't want you to to suffer from allergies. I take a couple of different allergy medications every day. So until you run out of it. Until I until I run out of it, and I have to go again. So uh thank you, Jeff, for your email. If you

What To Watch Next And Wrap

Josh 35:10

out there um have anything to say to us, familiarwilsons at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_06 35:16

No one likes to be told what to do.

Josh 35:18

And now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do. Amanda, what should we do?

Amanda 35:24

You should head on over to is it Prime? Is that where it is? If you have Amazon Prime TV, you should head on over and check out the new series of interior design masters. And when I say series, that means season here. It's not a new series, it's been happening, but the Brits call it a series. The new series of interior design masters with Alan Carr. It is just a lovely, fun, and entertaining little um little design show, but it makes Josh very, very happy.

Josh 35:50

It does. I enjoy it. It's again one of those nice, calming, peaceful, no drama type of um what are those re It's not a reality?

Amanda 36:00

It's like a uh competition shows.

Josh 36:01

Competition show, yeah, yeah. I enjoy it a great deal. So that would be my recommendation as well.

Amanda 36:05

All right, before we leave though, I did my quiz.

Josh 36:08

You did your quiz.

Amanda 36:09

And I am a lawful good.

Josh 36:10

Oh. Oh, well, aren't you some?

Amanda 36:12

It says you believe in following the rules for the purpose of doing good. You're always thinking of others and want to help the world make the world a better place. You were neither here nor there.

Josh 36:21

You know why?

Amanda 36:22

You just you follow the rules, but not because it uh you it does good or bad.

Josh 36:26

But you know why I got that result?

Amanda 36:27

Why?

Josh 36:28

Fucking Gibbus moon, man. That's right. Made zero sense whatsoever.

Amanda 36:32

I I picked the waxing, no, I picked the waning crescent. I I like a new moon. I like it when it's totally dark. I think I might have had some witchy blood in my in my lineage or whatever. And we've also decided um the dog is what is he? A chaotic evil? Because he's he's causing problems. If you play this game, because you didn't grow up in an evangelical household where you weren't allowed to, if you play this game and you know what you are, write in and let us know.

Josh 37:02

Familiarwilsons at gmail.com. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What'd you think of that mess?

Amanda 37:22

I mean, I think that I am a lawful good, and that's all that matters in the world.

Josh 37:26

Of course. Of course. We would like to thank the following people for contributing to our health and wellness.

Amanda 37:34

I don't know that I can see that they all contribute to my health and wellness.

Josh 37:38

It's true they don't. But we are thankful for them nonetheless. So we would like to thank Antonio and Matt, Josh Scar and Leo, Daniel, Joseph Buckets, Monique from Germany, Joey, Joey, Chicken Tom, R.I.P. Ryan Baker, um, Odysseus, Jennifer Garner.

SPEAKER_04 38:00

Why?

Josh 38:01

I don't know. Tasha, um, Kate and Tony, Mark and Rachel, Dan and Gavin.

Amanda 38:07

And Colin Robinson. Colin Robinson has been sending me pictures this week, and I want to thank him as well.

Josh 38:11

Colin Robinson, the cat? Yes. Okay, I don't know how he sent you how do you send you pictures? Google.

Amanda 38:16

Well, I mean Rachel sent them.

Josh 38:17

Okay, very good. And thanks for our music, including Ricky Kendall, Chris Barron of the Spin Doctors, and AJCW, who wrote the song that you are listening to Underneath Us right now. And of course, thanks always and love to Daniel and Andrew, Muffy and Winthrop.

Amanda 38:35

And the chaotic evil Wilson, ex Wilson, the podcast pup.

Josh 38:40

Alright, folks, so until next week, y'all take it easy. Stay away from the allergies, but if you do feel them starting to come on, then just run outside and take a quick 20, 20 second sprint. And if you want to see what I look like taking a 20-second sprint because I'm ill, but I'm also in long pants, bump on over to our socials.